


Those That Stick Together

by RogueGhost, Zifeara



Series: Those That Series [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: ALL THE CRYING, All the OCs have too much personality still, Based off game cannon, Drug Use, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Guns, He still loves Zifeara too much, Kinda, MC is still my OC, Masturbation, Multiple POVs and Flashbacks, Panic Attacks, Please read Seven's one first, Poor Seven is a mess, Saeran is creepy but I love him, Saeran is super confused, Slightly attempted rape, Smut, Spoilers for 707's route and name, The Choi twins have a specific backstory, Way more swearing, because it's Saeran, breakdowns, but you probably knew that, doesn't happen though I promise, feelings what feelings, lots of feelings, physical violence, some people die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-12 19:09:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 100,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueGhost/pseuds/RogueGhost, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zifeara/pseuds/Zifeara
Summary: Saeran Choi has never been truly happy in his life, but serving his Savior at Mint Eye is as close as he's ever been. When the Savior approves his plan to get to the RFA, they inform him the girl he chooses to implant in the apartment will become his new assistant when the plan is done as a reward for his service. The hacker finds someone he likes to do the job, but why she catches his eye he doesn't know. The more he watches her, the less he can sit still. He needs to have her. When he breaks the plan and goes to get his new 'assistant', he ends up coming home with more than he bargained for.WARNING: This is going to make way less sense if you haven't read Seven's fic first! Also there are a lot of OCs, so I also suggest reading Yoosung's before doing this.





	1. A Good Day For a Kidnapping

**Author's Note:**

> Alright everyone, this is it. Now that Seven's route is far enough along, I can finally start posting the bits of Saeran's fic I have done. His is the end game fic, so buckle up!
> 
> For everyone's reference: the difference between Saeran and Seven's route are really only two things. #1 being which one Zifeara had a preference towards as a kid, meaning two major events happened differently when the twins left and #2 being that in Searan's route, the events with the RFA are exactly the same as in Seven's route except that Saeran breaks into the apartment a day BEFORE he does in the game. No one knew Zifeara was in any real danger, so Seven didn't go to protect her fast enough.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran Choi has never been truly happy in his life, but serving his Savior at Mint Eye is as close as he's ever been. When the Savior approves his plan to get to the RFA, they inform him the girl he chooses to implant in the apartment will become his new assistant when the plan is done as a reward for his service. The hacker finds someone he likes to do the job, but why she catches his eye he doesn't know. The more he watches her, the less he can sit still. He needs to have her. When he breaks the plan and goes to get his new 'assistant', he ends up coming home with more than he bargained for.
> 
> WARNING: This is going to make way less sense if you haven't read Seven's fic first! Also there are a lot of OCs, so I also suggest reading Yoosung's before doing this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, this is it. Now that Seven's route is far enough along, I can finally start posting the bits of Saeran's fic I have done. His is the end game fic, so buckle up!
> 
> For everyone's reference: the difference between Saeran and Seven's route are really only two things. #1 being which one Zifeara had a preference towards as a kid, meaning two major events happened differently when the twins left and #2 being that in Searan's route, the events with the RFA are exactly the same as in Seven's route except that Saeran breaks into the apartment a day BEFORE he does in the game. No one knew Zifeara was in any real danger, so Seven didn't go to protect her fast enough.

Shuffling around the files on his desk, the man gave a grunt of annoyance. He had 5 possible choices of women to take on as his new personal assistant but he couldn't seem to decide. He wasn't particularly swayed by one or another. Pulling up a security camera in a nearby park, he looked at the last place he saw number 2. She had been on a bench by the pond, talking to a friend and drinking coffee from a shop nearby. This was the only other person he'd seen her spend time with. Blonde, short hair, bright blue eyes, she was pretty, sure, but truth be told, none of the 5 girls really did anything special for him. They were all pretty, but... Number 2 was leaving, walking away out of the line of the camera's sight, but just as he was about to pull up number 3, someone sat at the newly freed bench. His heart skipped. The new girl pulled a large black tablet out of her bag and began to… draw? He couldn't look away; she had long, pitch black hair and vibrant, deep indigo eyes. She was nicely proportioned and curved in all the best places and her facial features were defined but not too sharp. He pushed all the files off the desk, scrambling for the keyboard under them, bringing up the facial recognition software and quickly getting a picture of her the next time she looked up. He knew there was no way she'd work out. He was never that lucky. Someone who looked like that always had family and Hell, was probably married with the perfect life. After a few minutes, the program dinged. Zifeara. What an interesting name. Running her background check while glancing back to make sure she hadn't moved, he watched her for the entire hour and a half she was drawing. He couldn't believe this. No family, few friends she ever texted, self employed Internet artist, didn't leave the city ever. She was perfect. And come Hell or high water, Saeran Choi was going to have her.

 

***

 

She loved this place. Sitting in the back corner sipping a latte, Saeran waited for Zifeara to come in. She came into the cat café every Wednesday to have a mocha and draw the cats. She loved cats. She was very good at drawing animals based on several of her works, many of which were posted to her Tumble account. Saeran’s favorite was a tiger she'd done in blacks, blues, and purples, constellations trailing its striped coat. 

The store bell chimed and there she was, dressed all in black and looking like an angel. He was only here to hack her phone so that he could prepare it for tomorrow's infiltration of the RFA, but Saeran hesitated. He could watch her for a little while. He would have to get to know his new assistant, right? He watched her get her usual order and stroll into the plexiglass cat enclosure, immediately welcomed by the felines who were so familiar with her. She sat down on some cushions and said her hellos and doled out scratches and cuddles before the creatures let her get to work. The black one was her favorite. Black was Zifeara's favorite color and she doted on black cats, half for their gorgeous looks but half because her favorite holiday was Halloween. Saeran had done his homework.

As she drew, he hacked. Nothing noticable, just getting into her device to make things easier for tomorrow. It was a simple task and honestly was just an excuse Saeran gave the Savior to take his motorcycle out and come see Zifeara for himself. The bike had been a reward for loyal service since he'd always wanted one and he'd become quite attached to the thing. It wasn't the best for, say, kidnapping, but it served his personal transportation needs well. An hour of watching and he figured he best go; The Savior didn't like him being gone for more than a few hours at a time. Saeran got up and made his way to the door, checking his phone once more to make sure he had certainly done everything he needed. This was mistake number 1. He ran right into her as she went to get another drink from the counter and a handful of cat treats.

With a soft ‘oof’ and the beginnings of an apology, she stopped talking when their eyes met. Hers widened and the cutest flush of color spread itself across her cheeks. This was a problem. She was cuter than he thought and even sounded amazing. Saeran wanted to say something. Anything. He had to go. A grumbled ‘watch it’ was all he could manage before hastily moving around Zifeara and out the door as fast as he could without being too suspicious. He really, really hoped she'd be marginally uncooperative tomorrow. If she was, he had an excuse to take her. He wanted her so badly.

 

***

 

“C’mon, say no. Make my day, princess. Make me come get you.”

 

Muttering under his breath, Saeran was neatly tucked around a corner, out of sight of the only camera the RFA apartment had on it. He had successfully lead Zifeara here, giving her the pass code to the door, and hoping the hesitation she was showing right now would pay off. He almost cursed when he heard the number pad beeping as she punched in the code. Almost. This was technically going according to the original plan. 

He stayed a while, just to make sure the RFA didn't immediately kick her out and left once it seemed all was well. He didn't want to go, truly he didn't. He was so close. His princess had been right there, unprotected and fit for the taking. But the Savior would be furious if he had ruined the plan for selfish reasons and she was safe in the RFA fortress now. Saeran would have to be patient after all. He sent her one more cryptic text and turned off his phone, ensuring that his idiot brother couldn't trace him. The Savior would be pleased, but he felt… twitchy. Saeran really didn't want to leave her with these people. He wanted to bring her to Paradise.

 

***

 

Every single day he had to stop himself multiple times from hacking the system and going back there to get her. To save her. He was tracking her phone, so every time she left the apartment, he knew. Saeran pulled up any security cameras he could along her route. This was mistake number 2. It wasn't just for the feeling he got from the fleeting glimpses he caught of her moving serenely from one destination to the other. He had to make sure she was safe. Nothing could happen to her. She was his.

The longer he stared at Zifeara, the more familiar she felt. The way she laughed when she talked to shop owners she knew, the way she swayed when she walked, the way she stopped in the most random places to draw something. She always had her tablet on her. She never left the apartment without it. It was part of her. Saeran saw only the drawings she posted online, but he wanted to see those random daytime doodles of hers. Watching her draw was fascinating to him; the way her expressions always changed, the look of satisfaction when she was finished. 

In his mind, the plan was changing. He couldn't wait until they were supposed to take her. Something could happen to her before then. What if she liked one of the idiots in the RFA? He had to convince the Savior that taking her sooner would bring good things. This couldn't wait. The Savior wanted all the members of the RFA to join Mint Eye. All except for that traitorous brother of his. He was getting special treatment. Still, the other members liked her. They would come to her rescue if something went wrong. No, no, no. That was too risky. That was the plan to use if everything went wrong. He'd think of something. The Savior wanted an email sent to the RFA, so he should focus on that.

 

He couldn't focus on that. Saeran couldn't focus on anything. His brain was torturing him, teasing him with the thought of finally having Zifeara here with him. In his office. Bringing him files in between her doodles. Reclining on the sofa at the back of the room like a Greek goddess, creating animals and nature and galaxies with the flick of her wrists. Maybe she'd draw him a wolf. He liked wolves. Wait… when Zifeara is officially his, she'll have to draw him whatever he wants. It'll be her job. He can have anything. He could have a whole pack of wolves. Maybe with stars in their pelts…

Saeran slammed his head on the desk, disturbing his keyboard and minimizing the window on his closest monitor. All the big imposing screens had the Mint Eye logo on them, but this smaller one he had changed to the picture of that tiger so he could look at it whenever. That was mistake number 3.

 

***

 

It was only 5 days, but everything had changed. Zifeara was inducted into the RFA and immediately fawned over, had Saeyoung back to being a goofy mess any time they talked, was trapped in a stranger's apartment more or less, and given a very easy job of accruing guests for a party. Technically, it had been an exciting 6 days since just before all of this, she bumped into the cutest guy she had ever seen in her favorite café, but still. That's a lot of excitement for barely under a week. It had gotten overwhelming pretty fast, so naturally, she called her best friend. He had to know.

 

_ “Oh my god, seriously? ALL of that in a week? Damn woman, next time you're looking for a little adventure in your life, just tell me. We'll go skydiving or something. No more of this dangerous, thrill seeking nonsense of yours. How am I supposed to look out for you if you wander off? You worry me, Zia. You really do.”  _

 

“Ugh, yes, mom. Fang, relax. It's not like I'm trying to get myself killed or anything. I was prepared for if things got crazy when I came here. You know I can handle myself well enough. Lest we forget who kicked your 6’4” ass in our MMA classes.”

 

_ “Only because I can't consciously hurt you. I mean it. Be. Careful. *sigh* Now, onto less serious but more important business, did I hear you say something about a guy? Who isn't me?”  _

 

“Actually, it's raining men over here. The RFA has 3 cute guys in it, but the one I ran straight into in the Kitty Café was the one I was really interested in. Lots of black, leather jacket, such a nice face. The bottom half of it was covered because he was wearing face mask, but based on what his jawline was telling me? Woof. I would have wanted to draw him. He looked almost familiar, though, like I've seen him before but I totally would have remembered someone who looked like that.” 

 

_ “Hmm, sounds like your mystery man might be bad news though. Who wears leather any more? Unless he has a motorcycle, in which case, that would make sense. Either way, who knows, he may have just disappeared into the night~ Like emo teenage Batman. Anyway, what are your RFA options? And which one of them thinks he's good enough for you? Cause at least one of them is bound to be wrong.”  _

 

“Fang, are you sure you aren't actually my brother and we weren't separated at birth? I'm starting to think that may be the case.”

 

_ “I wouldn't complain if it were. You know just as well as I do we'll never date each other even though you're gorgeous and I'm as straight as they come, so I see no way that wouldn't be awesome. You're changing the subject. Spill on these guys! I need to know who's on my ass kicking list.”  _

 

“Hahaha, ok, ok. The youngest is Yoosung, blonde and bubbly as the sun is bright. He’s got beautiful purple eyes, a few shades lighter than mine and is in college to become a vet.”

 

_ “Ooh, smart then. What’s the catch?” _

 

“He’s addicted to LOLOL. He’s actually on the same server as us, funny enough. I know him. He spends too much time on it though, so his grades aren’t stellar right now.”

 

_ “Boo. He doesn’t sound like your type anyway, though. Pass, who’s next?” _

 

“Zen. Zen is straight up hunky. Silver hair, pinkish red eyes, oh the muscles. He’s an actor, he sings, he dances, he’s super sweet. He is so close to my type that he almost makes my mouth water.”

 

_ “Tell me there’s a but coming. It really sounds like there’s a but coming.” _

 

“Buuuuut he’s well aware he could put Adonis himself to shame and brings it up a lot. He’s one of the most shamelessly narcissistic human beings I’ve ever met and it drives me insane. He’s just really talented eye candy.”

 

_ “Ok, good. Murdering famous people is harder. I’d do it for you, of course, but still. More work than I want, really. What’s behind door number three?” _

 

“...Well… You know that old picture I have on the wall in my living room from when we were little? The one from when Aunt Hem used to make me go to church with you guys?”

 

_ “Yeeeees? The one with you and the Choi twins, right?” _

 

“Yeah, you remember them. Turns out the one standing to my left is a member of the RFA now. Makes sense since he knew V and Rika too but… Saeyoung Choi grew up  _ hella _ fine. Like, holy shit someone just dump a bucket of water on me, fine. He’s still the same too; sweet, genius, always trying to make me laugh. He’s the only one I’m even looking sideways at.”

 

_ “Mmmmm, ok. So reserve the deep unfindable body dumping well for now and see if either mystery cat cafe man shows back up or if the redheaded wonder gets uppity with you. I never liked that ginger asshole, but it’s good to know who to expect.” _

 

“Kai, shut up!”

 

They talked for another good hour before Fang had somewhere to be and Zifeara saw a new chat pop up on the messenger, so they said their goodbyes. She was just about to open the chat when her phone made this horrible screeching noise, causing her to drop it on the bed. Screen still facing up, she watched as what looked like a messenger chat opened itself and someone began typing. Unknown. Uhoh. 

 

***

 

Seven knew about the sound, but now they had a bigger problem. The house had said something about a special security system. The system switched from active, to deactivated, to active again? What did that mean? She had to call Saeyoung again. He assured her he was working hard to keep her safe and she believed him, but there was another question she had been dying to ask.

 

_ “Zifeara, are you ok? You haven’t been as cheery today. If it’s about the system, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you…” _

 

“No, it’s not that, I just… Saeyoung, I have to ask, it's been driving me crazy. How’s Saeran? He was my friend too you know… I get that you don’t want the RFA to know about him for whatever reason, I won’t ask about that, but I remember you both. Where is he?”

 

_ “I… I can’t talk about Saeran. You have to understand… When I took this job, there were a lot of things I gave up. V and Rika promised me he’d be taken care of, but I had to keep away from him to keep him safe. It kills me not knowing, but I had to. I… I’m sorry, Zifeara. I know… you two were close.” _

 

“Yeah, we were. Even after you left. Especially after you left. Saeran was my best friend for as long as I knew you both.”

 

_ “Haha, yeah, I know. I was always so jealous. What did he have that I didn’t? We're twins! I’m kidding, of course, hahaha. I know you cared about both of us. I- ugh, I have to go. Work is calling and I have to deal with the hacker. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Bye bye!” _

 

She stared at her phone for a while after he hung up. He didn't know where his own brother was? What kind of place did he really work for?

 

***

 

They had a problem. The email the Savior had instructed to be sent was very nearly traced back to them. Saeran had done everything he could to prevent that, but his damn brother was learning. This was bad. Saeran was getting fidgety to put it lightly. Even in just a day things had gotten out of hand in his own mind, completely destabilizing his logic. He worked furiously, making sure that at the press of a switch the special security system would disarm, allowing him entry to the apartment. It had to be tonight. Things were going wrong and he couldn't take it anymore. The Savior would not be pleased.  _ Who cared what the Savior wanted. _ NO! It was wrong to think this way. Everything he did, he did to make them happy. That was the purpose of Magenta. Of Mint Eye. Of Paradise.

Saeran wanted to be happy. He wanted only one thing and the Savior said it themself. Everyone deserves to be happy here, and Zifeara made him happy. Probably. He packed his bag and got ready to go; it was getting late and he had to be at the apartment as soon as physically possible. He made his way to the garage and took a set of keys from the storage box on the wall. As much as he loved his bike, he'd need a car for this one. Couldn't risk Zifeara falling off if he took a turn too hard. 

  
  


He made it to the neighborhood while it was dark, not terribly long after sunset but late enough for the streets to be mostly deserted. Perfect. He parked in an alleyway near the roof access to the building so that it would be a straight shot to the car once he had her. Turning the vehicle off, Saeran stopped to steady himself a moment. He went over his plan yet again. He would enter the building through the roof access door using the keycard he’d pickpocketed from the building’s security guard earlier that week. He’d use a rope to lower himself to her window. The glass was thick, bullet proof in fact, but if hit correctly in a singular spot, he could easily swing himself in. He just needed enough force and the window would give. It was designed to minimize the impact of a bullet, not a human being with spiked cleats. If he could get that glass to bend, he could get in. He was getting excited. Nervous. Careless.

Getting out of the car, Saeran pulled out his phone. He should make sure she was actually here before he went in. His princess did like to wander her kingdom. He was very glad he did. Zifeara wasn’t in the apartment. This made things so much easier. She was just down the block, making her way back towards this building. She would have to pass right by him to get in the door. This really was fate, wasn’t it? Clearly they were meant to be. The powers that be were offering Zifeara to him, encouraging him to do something he wanted for once. 

He should have known nothing in this world was simply given to him. In the next alley over, he heard male voices, three of them. They were laughing about something and talking quietly amongst themselves. Excitedly. He moved just to the edge of his alley to try to hear them better. Saeran heard something about a girl.  _ His _ girl. She would pass by them in just a few seconds and they were planning something. They were going to hurt Zifeara. They were going to die trying.

She was here. One of them said something lewd to her and the sarcasm dripping with disdain that she spat back at him made Saeran’s heart do a backflip. She was feisty and it was definitely doing… something to him. She was warning them that she’d kick their asses if they tried anything, to which they all laughed. Saeran didn’t know when he had pressed himself to the other side of the concrete wall separating himself from the thugs, but he was here now. And he was done waiting. He jumped up, grabbing the ledge of the barrier and throwing himself over it, landing on one of those assholes while very quickly throwing a punch at another. Getting away from the guy on the floor, Saeran backed up to dodge the fist of the last man, bringing his elbow down hard onto his arm. He heard something crack and wasn’t sure if it were the man’s elbow joint or bone. Not that it mattered. The man on the ground had picked himself up, but looked like he really wasn’t ready for this fight. He grabbed his other two friends and ran, deciding that one girl was not worth this. 

Saeran was so exhilarated; the adrenaline surging through his veins almost making him forget why he was here. Until she made a sound. A soft, surprised… unimpressed sound. As though she were almost, well, disappointed. He turned to look at Zifeara, finding her with arms crossed over her chest, but eyes wide. She dropped her arms as soon as she saw his face and her mouth opened slightly as well. 

 

_ “You? I… thanks. Who…?” _

 

He knew what she was asking, but he didn’t have time for this. Now right now. He reached into his pocket to grab the rag he had, carefully concealing the delicately crafted capsule of chloroform he had made earlier. The thin walls of this one small container an apt comparison to the thread keeping his emotions together. He had to be rational for this. He did this wrong and there would be no second chances. Saeran stepped towards her slightly, relaxing his expression into a trained smile. As delicious as it was to see fear on another’s face, he didn’t want to scare her. Never her. 

She should have been more cautious, really. He was so close to her now. Close enough to do what he needed to. But the look on Zifeara’s face was… worrying. She was searching what little of his she could see, looking for something. He would have to ask her what it was in a few hours.

 

“Don’t thank me yet.”

 

He crushed the capsule as he brought the rag to her face, quickly wrapping his other arm around her, pinning her arms just well enough. It was enough time for her to lose her fight. Just long enough for this to work. He made sure she was really out before moving her around to sit on his back. One arm under her legs and the other holding her arms around his neck, Saeran felt… strange. He had done it. This feeling was the strangest mixture of pride, giddiness, and… and… huh. He didn’t know what this other thing was. He was… warm. Even as he was getting her into the car and was tying her hands together just in case she woke up too soon he was still unusually warm. It wasn’t warm outside, in fact it was rather chilly. So what the Hell?

Saeran was about to start the car when he had a thought. Zifeara had a bag on her a moment ago. She must have dropped it when she lost consciousness. That bag looked sort of large to be a normal purse. He went back quickly and sure enough, there was a largish black case that was exactly where they had been a moment ago. Picking it up and unzipping the large pouch, he looked inside and was  _ so _ happy he’d come back. This was her drawing tablet. This worked in his favor. Zifeara would be so happy he’d thought to get it for her. Before he could return to the car, a ringing just about scared him out of his skin. It was some hideous amalgamation of noise and cat sounds and it made his head hurt. But this too, was a good thing. Saeran dug around the pockets till he found the phone. This was too perfect. It was Saeyoung. He couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. He hit the answer button and put the phone up to his ear.

 

_ “Zifeara, thank god! You left the apartment almost an hour ago,  _ **_where are you_ ** _?” _

 

“You don’t have to worry about where she is anymore. She’s safe now.”

 

The pause on the other end was well worth wasting a tiny bit of time. Saeran could just almost hear the panic in the unsteadiness of his brother’s voice.

 

_ “Who are you? What did you do to Zifeara?” _

 

“Don’t you fret, you’ll know soon enough. Huh, guess you should have been more careful. Rest assured, I’ll take  _ much _ better care of Zifeara than you ever could.”

 

Saeran hung up and threw the phone into a pile of rubbish and went back to the car. That had been so satisfying. This was turning out to be a good day. The drive back was easy too. Saeran kept glancing back to make sure Zifeara wasn’t awake yet and thankfully, she was out the entire time. She was still asleep when he carried her into Mint Eye and unlocked his room via keycard. Still gone while he laid her on his bed, untying her hands and leaving her bag where she could see it when she did wake up. Saeran wanted to stay, but he needed to report to the Savior and tell them what had transpired and why he had gone against orders. They would understand once he explained the urgency of the situation. That and now they could begin collecting other members of the RFA, just like the Savior wanted. 

He closed his door and made his way down the long corridor of living chambers. His was at the end just around a corner. Since he was among the first to join Mint Eye, he had one of the nicest rooms. The door just across the hall was his office, filled with computers and monitors, the few books he had, and the sofa he tended to take power naps on when he was too busy to get real sleep. Saeran hoped so, so badly that he wouldn’t have to spend much time across the hall tonight… 

Arriving at the large, mint-colored door at the opposite end of the hallway, he knocked. The Savior opened it promptly, holding an arm out to designate they would like him to come in. He did so and stood just in front of the bed in the room, unsure of whether he was to remain standing this time or not. The Savior brushed their long blonde locks to one side and sighed, slightly shaking their head and walking towards him. 

 

_ “Saeran, you knew how I felt about this. I told you that you were not to go and get her. Surely you are aware that such disobedience must be punished.” _

 

This was not a question. Based on their tone of voice, he knew this was a promise of what was to come. Speaking to attempt to explain his actions was inadvisable now. He knew this from the only other time he had dared go even slightly against his instructions. The Savior had only become more infuriated and the punishment was more severe.

Currently, they were running their hand across the top of a dresser on the other side of the room. He was really hoping what he had done was not bad enough to warrant opening the bottom drawer. The things he had seen come from that drawer were not something he ever wanted to experience. Luckily they opened the second, pausing to decide which method of reprimand was appropriate for the crime. 

 

_ “Remove your shirt.” _

 

Oh good. This wasn’t so bad. Saeran did as he was asked as they selected their method. Not making eye contact, he looked to the ground as they stood immediately in front of him. 

 

_ “Tell me why you’ve done this.” _

 

“The email you requested to be sent was not well received. The RFA is on high alert. Luciel was speaking of heightening the security at the apartment and even going there himself. If I did not do this now, there would be no other chance. My Savior, I plan to use this to our full advantage. The more time Luciel spends looking for her, the less time he will spend on his work, endangering himself and making the RFA vulnerable. This will make things exponentially easier. You know everything I do I do for us.”

 

They were quiet before sighing again. They gently lifted his head, forcing him to meet their gaze. Their green eyes were cold and predatory, a cat waiting to pounce. They were smiling, but Saeran knew better than to believe they were pleased. Their grip on his face tightened, becoming very nearly painful as they moved closer, pressing their lips to his. He thought they had stopped doing this long ago, so why now?

 

_ “Saeran, you know I love you. I love all here at Magenta. You are very smart, Saeran. I will trust for now that what you have done was for the best. Tomorrow morning I want you to come back with a detailed plan of what you are going to do in light of this new development. Do you understand?” _

 

“Yes, Savior. Thank you.”

 

_ “Very good. You are, however, still going to have to be held accountable. How old is she?” _

 

“I… what?”

 

_ “This girl. How. Old. Is. She?” _

 

“T-twenty three.”

 

_ “So be it.” _

 

They moved around behind him and Saeran understood now why they had asked. As soon as the leather whipped across his back, he realized that his punishment was to be based on what he had disobeyed for. Once the twenty second lash had been delivered, they paused. 

 

_ “You will be in charge of her reconditioning. You are not to allow her out of your sight. She is your assistant. Your problem. She will see me in a month so that I may assess whether you have done well or not. If she is not on track to being properly reconditioned, I will do it myself. Goodnight, Saeran.” _

 

Bringing the whip across his back for the final time, they moved away and into the connected bathroom, trusting he would exit on his own. They hadn’t held back this time; Saeran could feel the areas where his wounds overlapped bleed slightly. He wouldn’t be sleeping on his back for at least a week. He gingerly put his shirt back on and returned to his office. Looks like he was in for a long night. 

 

***

 

When Zifeara awoke, she was very groggy and physically felt heavy, as though she had turned to stone. It took her several minutes just to open her eyes, and when she did, she almost wished she hadn’t. She wanted so badly to think she had simply had a weird nightmare. She was in a room with white walls and a gray floor. The only things in here were the full size bed she was on, a two drawer dresser, a wooden desk and a simple wooden chair. This room had two doors; one of normal wood and one of metal with a black metal box next to the handle. Finally managing to sit up, she tried to remember anything she could about what had happened.

She was about to kick some guy’s ass. First the three assholes who thought they were going to get rough with her then… the guy from the cat cafe. The one she had thought was super hot. Goddamnit, she really did have the absolute worst taste in men. He had taken out those guys for her, so she had let her guard down just low enough to be fucked over. This was bad. Really bad. And she thought Mal had a thing for trouble… She moved her hand a little bit and ran into something on the bed next to her. Her bag!

Digging through, she wasn’t really surprised to find her phone missing. It would be just too easy if she had a way to let anyone know what had happened to her. Oh god, Fang was going to kill her.  **Oh god, Fang was going to kill Saeyoung.** Mal was bad enough, but she could be rational in the face of trouble. It was probably the only time she was completely rational. Kai, on the other hand… he was never ok when it came to her. First things first, she had to figure out where she was and why. Someone would have to come in here eventually. Getting up, she decided to check the wooden door. Peeking in, she found it to be a bathroom, which was at least nice so she wouldn’t have access to that restricted. There was a toothbrush sitting on the edge of the sink. Its bristles looked ever so frayed, so it wasn’t left for her. This wasn’t her room. 

  
  


Zifeara had no idea how long had passed since she got here. She had inspected the desk as well, finding nothing of importance and nothing she could use as an improvised weapon. All she could really do is wait and be calm. Her bag had been left where she could find it, though her phone was missing, so the Cat Guy had known about her tablet. She assumed he was more than just an unfortunate coincidence, though. He was probably Unknown, their hacker. Waiting made her anxious and she really only had one thing to do with her time. It was draw or have a mental breakdown. 

Zifeara still hadn’t seen Unknown without his mask on, but she started drawing him, trying to imagine what he looked like under there. At some point, her hand moved on its own, filling in information without asking her till she had a decent picture. He looked… really familiar if she was honest. And even though he was a kidnapping psycho, he was still really attractive. Who did he remind her of? She started to color it in, doing his clothes first while she tried to figure it out. By the time it came to his face, she got as far as finishing his skin color before the realization of who he looked like hit her like a rhino. Instead of choosing the silver she was hovering over, she changed her brush color to red. Her breathing quickened as she furiously filled in his shaggy locks, now in some sort of fever. She was manic as she worked the gold into his eyes, adding in the barely perceptible flecks of orange she knew to be there just around the pupil. 

Holding the finished image away from her to look the whole thing over, her breathing was now coming out in a panicked laugh. Zifeara knew exactly who he was but was so hoping she was wrong. There was no way that he could do something like this, especially not to her. Absolutely no way that someone so gentle and sweet and genuinely caring could have really thought that what he was doing was right. Someone had done something horrible to him; made him into whatever he was now. Her childhood best friend was in there somewhere, and she needed to find him. Someone had turned Saeran Choi into a monster. 

The door opened and Zifeara stood up out of the corner she had been sitting in, quickly turning her tablet off and hiding her work. She had to be certain it was him before he saw this. Sure enough, Unknown poked his head in the room, clearly looking for her before he opened the door far enough to where he couldn’t close it again quickly. Once he spotted her, he moved into the room, plate in one hand glass in the other. It must be time for lunch. 

She was on the same wall as the bathroom, opposite the desk, so he set things down there and turned, staring and waiting for the onslaught of questions she was surely going to ask. Instead of doing that, however, she was silent, setting her device down on the floor and moving slowly across the room. He had his mask on still, but she could tell he was confused, wondering why she wasn’t scared or angry or Hell, even catatonic. Panic wasn’t really Zifeara’s style. She preferred to respond to chaos by being up in its face, giving Hell right back to the source. She got about a foot away when he finally spoke. 

 

_ “What… what are you doing?” _

 

“I want to see the rest of your face.”

 

_ “Why?” _

 

“Is it weird to want to know who you’re dealing with?”

 

He did something then that almost made her cry. He was giving her a questioning look, but he involuntarily tilted his head just a little to the right, similar to the way a dog does when it hears a high-pitched sound. Shit. Saeran used to do that a lot when they were kids. Any time she said something he didn’t understand and he was about to ask her a question, he tilted. Just a tiny bit. 

 

_ “Yes. Especially since you probably… know who I am. You don’t strike me as the simple, innocent type.” _

 

“Aww, thank you. You’ve got to be our RFA hacker, right? Why bother leading me to the apartment if you were going to try to kidnap me?”

 

_ “Yes. You were important to our plans, but plans change. Right now, you’re of more use to me here than you are there. You are my new assistant. You’re going to help me with work every day while we get you initiated into Mint Eye.” _

 

“Hmm… As much fun as that sounds, why would I do that?”

 

_ “Because you don’t have a choice. If you behave yourself like a good girl, I can make this an easy process for you. I will make this only as hard as you do. In fact, you should be grateful. I let you keep your drawing thing when I could have left it.” _

 

“While I do appreciate that, the fact of the matter remains that you may have done a bit of kidnapping. That doesn’t bode well for our relationship.”

 

_ “Look, I could have done this to anyone. You should feel honored that I chose you for such a position. Now are you going to make this easy?” _

 

“Sweetie, I don’t do easy. But I also don’t go out of my way to make my own life harder. If you play nice, I’ll play nice, ok?”

 

She had to stall for time while her friends found her. She didn’t know exactly how good of a hacker Saeyoung had become, but she did know it was a matter of time before her Family came for her. They’d likely run into him along the way, to be honest. They just needed time. 

What she had said clearly flustered the man in front of her. His eyes widened slightly as a faint blush crept across his pale complexion. She saw an opportunity and she took it. Zifeara crossed the remaining distance to stand right in front of him. She was only barely two inches shorter so their faces were almost at the same level. He was going to protest, she could see it in his eyes, but she was also getting the sense that as much as he put up a good front, he wasn’t nearly as in charge of this as he wanted to be. She could use that. Before he could get the threat of getting away from him out, she put her hands on either side of his face, making the words catch and form into more of a stuttering, choking noise. He really wasn’t ready for this and caught on just a little too late. He moved to grab her forearms, to pull her away and stop her, but Zifeara pulled his mask down before he could do anything about it. She couldn’t believe she had managed to draw him so accurately. 

Now they were just staring at each other, his hands firmly gripping her arms and waiting for her to say something, her with tears welling up in her eyes in response to finding out she was right. He clearly didn’t expect the reaction he was getting. He looked so confused and angry at why she was doing this. 

 

_ “What? What are you doing? Spit it out!” _

 

“S… Saeran?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOOOOOOOO
> 
> The amazing and talented [Thwippersnapple](https://thwippersnapple.tumblr.com) did some gorgeous art for my fic and I must show you!
> 
>  


	2. Unhappy Cooperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zifeara is gone and it throws things into chaos. Opposing forces must come together and help one another find her. On the other side of the coin, Saeran is learning that having an assistant might be more trouble than it's worth.

Saeyoung was in a blind panic. Forget Vanderwood, forget the agency, he had to go to the apartment _right now._ He packed up all of his equipment as fast as he could without damaging anything and threw all of it into his fastest car. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Not right now. Not to Zifeara. He finally had something good, if not a little problematic, in his life again and now it too was being taken away. Again. He had been a damn fool for thinking maybe he could be happy for just a little while. That was not how his life worked.

Vanderwood was pretty easily distracted by the dog robot anyway so he managed to get out. He broke probably a dozen traffic laws getting to that building, but at least he was lucky no one stopped him. Saeyoung stormed into the elevator and down the hall, jamming the numbers on the keypad to the RFA apartment. The door swung open with ease and he threw himself in. He heard no response from the security system. What? He thought it must be malfunctioning if… Not important right now. Dumping his things on the floor, he desperately looked around for any sign of how the hacker had gotten in here. He must have tampered with the security camera somehow.

Looking frantically around the apartment, he couldn’t find a single sign of struggle. He knew Zifeara would have fought like Hell against anyone so much as looking at her the wrong way, much the less trying to kidnap her. She had always been like that… Zifeara’s phone was nowhere to be found. He couldn’t find her drawing tablet either, but she always took that with her when she went out, so she had really left. But did she ever make it back? First he had to do a trace on her phone. That would tell him where it was if it was even still on. Opening his computer, he turned the tracking program on and selected Zifeara’s phone. His heart sank. It was nearby. Basically right outside next to the building, in fact. Zifeara didn’t have it. Zifeara was gone.

Saeyoung slammed his fist into the wall, hard enough that he definitely bruised his knuckles. How had he let this happen? How had he been so damn careless with the one person who meant anything to him anymore? He had to get his shit together. He needed to find her and fast; her kidnapped had a head start and the upper hand. He soon heard footsteps approaching the door. Someone was fiddling with the keypad. He was going to see if they could get in. He didn’t know who they were, but Saeyoung was pissed and ready for a fight. You didn’t mess with his girl.

 

***

 

Something was wrong and Malaya couldn’t quite put her finger on it. So she went down her list of contacts, checking on each one. She knew Michael was okay. She left him working on the details of his next job. Jaehee was fine, if working herself to death. Malaya had gotten rid of the woman’s stalker pretty quickly so she wasn’t surprised to find that the assistant was okay. Next she called Fang. He picked up almost immediately.

 

_“Hey, Mal, what’s up?”_

 

“Are you okay?” Malaya asked without any lead up.

 

_“Yeah, I’m totally fine. Why?”_

 

“Just a bad feeling.” The feeling was getting stronger too. Fang called it spidey sense.

 

He was deathly silent for all of about half a second. He knew Malaya’s bad feelings were usually accurate.

 

_“Did you call Zifeara?”_

 

“Not yet.” Malaya said.

 

 _“_ **_Malaya, why the Hell was I before Zifeara?_ ** _”_ He hung up instantly.

 

“You’re a K and she’s Z?” Mal said, starting to run. It wasn’t like it would have taken her long to go through everyone. She only had seven contacts and three would never again pick up the phone. She realized he ditched her and slipped her phone away after shooting Michael a quick order to trace Zifeara’s phone. She was already almost to the ‘secret’ apartment anyway. By the time she reached the front door Michael had responded.

 

_The alley right of the apartment. Hasn’t moved for about a half hour. Be careful. Call if you need backup._

 

Malaya abandoned the apartment and shot towards the alleyway. It took all of five seconds to find the bright orange case of Zifeara’s phone lying abandoned in the middle of it. Her friend was nowhere in sight and there were specks of blood around. She scooped up the phone and unlocked it. A missed call from Saeyoung and several from Fang. Zifeara never missed Fang’s calls. All of Malaya’s worry turned cold. Someone had taken her friend. The phone rang in her hand. Fang again. Malaya didn’t pick up, not wanting to give him false hope.

 

 _I found her phone._ Malaya texted him instead. _Stop calling it and get to Michael. Help him get started on the search. I’m going to search the apartment. Ill let you know if I find anything._

 

She pocketed the phones and made her way up to the apartment, pausing at the door. Right, not a regular lock. She started messing with it, trying to break it open. She was getting in this apartment one way or another. No one messed with her family and got away with it. The lock refused to be budged so she resorted to kicking the door. She knew it wasn’t going to help because she was so _tiny_ but it made her feel better as she thought of other ways she could get in.

 

She was considering the vents when a computer voice sounded in the hallway. Not loudly, but loud enough for her to know it was talking to her.

 

“The special security system has activated. You now have 20 seconds to leave.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Malaya growled. She continued kicking the door.

 

The voice began counting down. Once it got to 12, it became garbled and sounded like it was having a meltdown. After hearing a tiny click, Mal noticed the door was now open just a sliver.

 

Malaya backed up a bit, eyeing it suspiciously before reaching down and slipping the knife she had in her boot up her sleeve. If Zifeara was in there she would definitely not be opening the door like this. Prepared, Mal shoved the door open just enough to slip in.

 

***

 

When Saeyoung woke up today, he didn’t think he would at any point be aiming a gun at a small girl. There was no way this was their hacker. Right? Looking her over, the gears started turning in his head.

 

“Malaya Dara.”

 

 _“Saeyoung Choi.”_ She replied, grey eyes narrowed.

 

Well shit. Maybe she fucking was the hacker for all he knew now. Still, that would be kind of weird considering she and Zifeara were friends. Some guy would not have answered Zifeara’s phone if she were with Malaya.

 

“Alright, why are **you** here? No one should know the address for this apartment and Zifeara promised she wouldn’t tell anyone else. She never breaks her promises.”

 

_“She didn’t tell me, I figured it out. Now, you have ten seconds to tell me where Zifeara is.”_

 

“That’s what I’m here for. I’m trying to find out. Seriously, how did you get here, though? I don’t suppose you have a trace on her phone too? That would be… interesting.”

 

 _“I have a trace on all my friends’ phones. You obviously don’t considering you were looking in the wrong spot.”_ She threw Zifeara’s phone at him.

 

It was a very good thing he had great trigger discipline. Usually when a midget throws a phone at you, there’s something wrong. This was very, very wrong. That was absolutely Zifeara’s phone. He recognized that particularly blinding shade of orange anywhere. He had been more concerned about getting in the apartment in case they were still here. He knew they weren’t, but despite how very calmly he had been handling this, he was a wreck. Ok. This was… new. Maybe the hobbit had a good idea right about now.

 

“Alright, look, before I begin questioning who in the Hell Zifeara has gotten herself involved with, it is very important that I know at least kind of how much I can trust you without shooting you. You want to find Zifeara too. That’s a good start. How well do you know her? I’ve only seen you hang out around our church before.”

 

 _“Nice to know you didn’t get very far with that background check. I’m her best friend. I_ ** _live_** _with her! Since I was small.”_

 

“Well, smaller. Yeah, see, I did yours as a hobby and it ended up being fun shredding all the protection around it. I have real work to do. I knew you were her friend, I don’t know how you got to be at a confidential location because of her. More on that part.”

 

_“I ran. Can we skip the small talk now? In case you didn’t notice Zifeara is MISSING!”_

 

“I did notice, in fact. _That’s why I’m here._ I do, as much as it pains me to say, have other people to protect too. I just don’t care about them _quite_ as much, but it’s what I do. So if telling you things is going to put them in danger, I can’t. Thus I need certain questions answered. See how this works?”

 

 _“You know what? Ditto Sparky! And guess who’s friend is missing because of_ **_your_ ** _organization?”_ Malaya’s phone made an odd barking noise. She pulled it out and answered, eyes never leaving Saeyoung.

 

“Yeah, well she’s my best friend too! Now what do you know? We need to find her!”

 

 _“Michael? Dammit! When? Tell Kai to shut up for a second. Any ideas where? Okay. Send out people and keep me updated. I found nothing of importance.”_ She hung up. _“Whoever grabbed her left town. Not even ten minutes ago!”_

 

The ginger’s face paled. They were gone. Like gone gone. He had been this close. And somehow Malaya knew this. He needed to figure out how she knew this and do something about it quickly. She had some kind of resources to be used and right now that was more than he had. He needed to find Zifeara. He couldn’t let two people be taken from him. He was breaking. He lowered his gun.

 

“I’m not happy about this, but I desperately need your help. I can’t have this happen. Not to Zifeara. Not again. I’ll do anything I can to get her back. _Please._ You clearly have at least a good idea of what to do with this, I’m only really good with computers. If you can’t help me, then at least let _me_ help _you_ . I _need_ to find her. She’s all I have left.”

 

The small girl’s glare lessened and she fiddled with the little sun patch on her jacket before groaning. _“Fine. For Zifeara. But if you put the rest of my family in danger because of this I will kill you. Understand?”_

 

“Sure. We need to go. If you ran, I have a faster way of getting to where we need to be. Did you happen to see the Herrari outside?”

 

 _“Dibs on driving!”_ She turned and ran out the door.

 

His legs were longer. Plus he had keys. He ran only to get down there faster. Time was ticking. She reached the driver’s side door first and was rather pouty about it still being locked.

 

“Yeah, no. My car, I drive. Where are we going?”

 

_“The Black Market. Just follow the sounds of anguished DJ and you’ll find it.”_

 

“Excuse me?”

 

 _“Jaehee’s favorite coffee shop?”_ Mal threw up her hands. _“Just go left at the next light.”_

 

Saeyoung shook his head. This was going to be harder than he thought. Of course it was.

  


Stepping into the tiny hole in the wall shop, literally the first thing Saeyoung was aware of was how much his head hurt. He was pretty sure he was no longer touching the floor either. Nor was he holding any of the things he had been a minute ago. Weird.

 

_“Where. Is. She.”_

 

That was probably as close to roaring as he had ever heard a human being come. At least he was pretty sure that was human. The guy that had him pinned to a bookshelf by his hoodie was finally coming into focus through the nearly certain concussion he had. He saw a lot of black, but the red eyes really stood out. Ah, this must be Fang. **Oh**.

 

_“I swear to god Saeyoung if you don’t start talking I will-”_

 

 _“Kai! Drop him. Zifeara likes that one in particular and he doesn’t know a damn thing.”_ Malaya walked around them and made for the table in the back of the room. Another man stood over it, this one older and black. _“Any news Michael?”_

 

The man looked up, frowning. _“Fell and Lily are pretty sure they’ve gone north but they lost any trace of them after that.”_

 

This entire time, Saeyoung had not been put down. There was a serious debate going on in those red eyes and he really wasn’t sure which side was winning. He chose to remain silent, which was probably for the best.

 

 _“Kai!”_ Malaya snapped. _“Drop. Him.”_

 

When he was released, it seems Zifeara’s guard beast had taken Mal’s words literally. Fang let go of his jacket and stomped away, flipping over a small display in clearly insatiable anger as he swore again. This was not turning out to be a good day.

Since the older one seemed to be at least almost in charge, he figured that would be the most sane place to start. Collecting up all the equipment that was unceremoniously dumped on the floor, Saeyoung set his things on the table and held his hand out.

 

“Saeyoung Choi. Zifeara is part of an organization I belong to and is one of my oldest friends. I need to help you find her.”

 

The man stared him up and down for a moment, gold eyes amused. He took Saeyoung’s hand. _“Michael Todd. Leader of the Sun Underground and Mal’s...guardian?”_ He shrugged at that. _“Any good at computers?”_ He nodded his head at the mess of cords now eating the table.

 

“Excessively.”

 

Saeyoung forced a smile. This was at least a little better than the tiny one. Or the really tall one. Definitely better than the tall one. He could do this.

 

“Where would you like me to set up?”

 

_“Wherever you want. Jaehee is the only customer we get who is actually a civilian. No one will bother you.”_

 

“While ‘civilian’ isn’t the word I’d use, I won’t ask about that. That’s a conversation for another day. I’m taking that corner. Can… can we keep him from destroying my computers? Please?”

 

 _“Give him an hour.”_ Michael turned away and went back to a book that Saeyoung could now see was filled with very detailed maps of the surrounding areas. He picked up his phone and started furiously texting, conversation done.

 

Saeyoung unpacked all of his things and began trying to reverse hack any of the things he had linking this weird Mint Eye place to whoever took Zifeara. He didn’t feel like it had been long before he realized he had stopped hearing things break. Looking around, Fang was nowhere to be seen, thankfully. Guess Michael was right. One less distraction.

 

***

 

_“What… what did you just call me?”_

 

Zifeara’s arm hurt from where he was now digging his fingers into it. His eyes had widened, temporarily losing their anger and replacing it with disbelief. She couldn’t help the tear that rolled down her cheek. It was true; this really was her friend, though clearly something had gone wrong in Saeyoung’s plan. Wherever the hacker thought he was sending his brother was decidedly not where he ended up. Saeyoung would never have willingly put Saeran here, of that she was certain.

 

“Saeran… do you not recognize me? You look different, but I definitely don’t.”

 

_“What are you talking about? How do you know my name?”_

 

“Saeran, we grew up together. I haven’t seen you for about 5 years but… you were one of my closest friends.”

 

His glare returned. He didn’t recognize her at all. Now he did push her away. Saeran moved her around him and shoved her towards the desk.

 

_“Eat. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it isn’t happening. I don’t do friends. Starting tomorrow, you work for me and you’re part of Mint Eye. I’ll be back later when I’m done working.”_

 

He went to leave, leaning his right side on the black box by the door until it unlocked. The door must run on a keycard. Good to know where he kept it. Even if she did steal it to break out, now this was personal. She wasn’t leaving without Saeran. Whoever had done this to him was going to be very sorry when her backup found her. Very sorry indeed.

  


Saeran slammed the door and stomped across the hall, barely waiting for the sound of that one unlatching before throwing it open. Why was she doing this to him? Why would she lie about knowing him? Of course she was going to try to escape at first, but why like this? He was confused and angry and all around restless. He had no happiness in his childhood, this he knew. So why did he have a nagging feeling that she really was familiar to him? Saeran shook his head. He had work to do.

Typing away, digging through files on the RFA and sorting them, time passed quickly. He had already gotten very little sleep the night before due to writing up the report the Savior wanted on how he was going to destroy the RFA, so when evening rolled around, he was ready to call it quits. He had worked for hours on that report and now hours on his normal tasks. He needed sleep. Food then sleep.

Heading into the kitchen/dining hall, he noticed all the other members already there giving him strange looks as he loaded two plates of food from the spread available to them and left. Not that he cared. They were all just jealous that he had earned himself an assistant. They all knew how important to Mint Eye he was and more often than not they feared him. As they should. Besides, he never ate anywhere near any of them anyway. Saeran Choi definitely didn’t do friends.

Opening the door to his room, he once again looked around cautiously. Zifeara could be anywhere in here and he had to be on his guard for her trying to run out. Much to his surprise, she was sitting on the bed, drawing peacefully. She looked up as soon as she heard the door, so he met her gaze the second he looked in. She smiled. She was up to something. There was no way she was really this calm about everything that happened in the past two days. He moved swiftly in, setting all the food on the desk.

 

“Dinner. Eat.”

 

She got off the bed, setting her tablet down and walked over, glancing from the food to him.

 

_“You brought two plates this time. Are you eating with me?”_

 

“No. Now pick one and eat it.”

 

She looked at both, a confused expression spreading across her face. He was about to yell at her to hurry up. She was making him nervous.

 

_“These both have different things on them.”_

 

“Brilliant observation. There had to be something you would eat, so I took some of everything. Now take one and put food in your mouth so I can leave. I have shit to do.”

 

She looked back at him and clearly stifled a laugh. The expression on her face was one that Saeran had come to love from watching her, but he didn’t think it would be so different in person. He felt warm again. Oh Hell.

 

_“You actually thought to get different foods in case I didn’t like something?”_

 

“I- no, for all I fucking know you have some kind of life threatening allergy that I don’t want to deal with. I’m taking this one. Eat and go to bed.”

 

He grabbed one of the plates and made for the door just as quickly as he’d come in. He stopped once she said his name again. He wanted so badly to ignore her right now, but she had some sort of power over him. She had bewitched him from the start and he hadn’t considered that having her here might in any way be bad.

 

_“Saeran. This is clearly your room. If you’re telling me to sleep here, then where are you going? You aren’t…?”_

 

It took him a second to catch her meaning, but when he did, all that warmth shot straight to his face. He didn’t know if it was because of what she was implying or if it was because of the consideration he was seriously giving to the idea. Lying about knowing him or not, there was literally no way she would seriously let him sleep with her. He had kidnapped her yesterday, for fuck’s sake. He grumbled something at her and left with his food, retreating back to his office. That couch was going to become his new favorite spot. He really hadn’t expected her to be so… well that wasn’t exactly true. He had known she was a firecracker and that was one of the reasons he chose her over the other possible candidates. He just hadn’t expected to have this much trouble with her so soon. At least as soon as they started inducting her, she would settle down.

  


As soon as he was gone again, Zifeara grinned. This might actually be easier than she thought. Saeran definitely was still in there somewhere; unlike Saeyoung, he had always been more shy around her. She had always thought it was really cute. Sure she could tease Saeyoung and he’d get embarrassed if she did it right, but she never had the heart to do that to Saeran. He usually did it to himself. She looked at which plate he had left her and put a hand over her mouth. That was absolutely Saeran whether he knew it or not. He had left her the one with mashed potatoes, grilled chicken, and green beans. The same things she always picked at their church events.

While eating, she reviewed her doodles for the day and cleaned them up a little. She had been in a particularly cat oriented mood since she wouldn’t be visiting her favorite cafe this week. Huh. That was the first place she had seen Saeran. She made a new document and thought. Then she started drawing a new feline, body long and lithe with a more wild appearance. Spots and stripes a pinkish brown on its white coat, mint green eyes glaring and disinterested. Saeran looked good as a Bengal. She giggled. He’d probably scowl at being portrayed as a cat, but it suited his personality. Currently anyway. She drew him in different positions; sleeping on a computer keyboard, hissing and spitting at a hand trying to pet him, tail fluffed and ears back in embarrassment. By the time she finally wanted to go to bed, it must have been pretty late. She realized she’d forgotten to ask Saeran for a toothbrush. Or how she was going to do laundry since she only had the one pair of clothes she was wearing. Thank god she was in something comfortable.

Zifeara turned the lights out in the room and laid down, trying to feel tired enough to sleep. She had been unconscious for a good bit of the day yesterday, so it was difficult. She almost shot straight up when she heard the door click. Saeran wasn’t actually coming to get into this bed, was he? There was silence while she assumed he was trying to determine if she was actually asleep or not. He guessed wrong. Hell, he moved silently like a cat, too; she only knew he had come in by him shutting the door softly. He very quietly opened a drawer in the dresser, shuffled some things around, and closed it again, sneaking towards the bathroom. Oh.

Since that was the direction she was facing, she closed her eyes just enough to look asleep so that when he got into the bathroom and glanced at her, he couldn’t tell she was staring right at him. He closed the door before turning the light on. She heard the shower turn on. Sitting up, she looked towards the dresser to see that he had left his jacket on it. Hmm. If she took his jacket and he wanted it back, he’d have to talk to her so she could ask him to bring her things for the bathroom.

She got out of bed as silently as he had moved through the room. He wasn’t the only rogue in the party. She grabbed his jacket and put it on, getting back into bed just as she had been and waited. She was surprised; the sheets and towels all smelled like mint, an obvious choice considering, but the nostalgia that overwhelmed her at the smell of Saeran’s jacket was crazy. She hadn’t seen him in 5 years but this hadn’t changed. Zifeara missed the rare occasions where Saeyoung had managed to sneak his brother out of the house and she could see both twins at once without having to whisper. She did like the late nights she had spent staying up to see if she would be able to sneak over to their house, though. Did he really not remember her or was he just saying he didn’t for some reason?

She heard the water shut off and her heart beat faster. Saeran opened the door just a crack to let the steam out, but not far enough so that the light would wake her. After a few more minutes, the light turned off and out he came. Zifeara hadn’t expected that he wasn’t wearing a shirt under his jacket earlier. Uh oh. She could be wrong since it was so dark in here, but… she swore he had something on his back. Did he have more than one tattoo? He went to the dresser and didn’t move for a while. She could feel him glaring at her, but was going to play innocent till the end.

 

_“Alright, what do you want?”_

 

Aaaand the jig was up. She gave up, rising to meet where his eyes probably were in the dark.

 

“I was going to ask you for a toothbrush and a couple of other things for the bathroom, but you didn’t stick around long enough earlier. So I figured you’d be looking for this.”

 

He sighed and brought his hand to his face, either trying not to be angry or feeling too tired to deal with this, she couldn’t tell which.

 

_“Fine. Give me my jacket.”_

 

“Not until you bring me what I asked for.”

 

 _“Do you_ **_want_ ** _me to come over there and take it from you?”_

 

“I’d like to see you try now that I’m not drugged. If you don’t remember me, then you don’t remember how many forms of selfdefense and martial arts I know. Wanna risk it?”

 

He was quiet, clearly weighing his options. Making a frustrated noise, he unlocked the door and went back out. As he turned to go, Zifeara got a better look of what was on his back. It looked too… scattered to be anything she recognized. It looked like a lot of straight lines in no particular arrangement. They crossed over several times and where they intersected they looked very dark. She would have to ask him.

Coming back in, he threw a few things on the bed and held his hand out, clearly expecting her to get up and give his jacket back. She did get up, but she hugged the article closer. He practically growled at her.

 

“Saeran… what’s on your back?”

 

_“We had a deal. Give it back.”_

 

She stood her ground and lowered her tone.

 

“Saeran. What is it?”

 

_“You don’t need to know, last chance. Hand me my jacket, or I take it from you.”_

 

She had gotten out of the bed on the side closest to the bathroom, the door of which was standing open. She was closer to it than he was. Zifeara moved quickly, practically hovering the few steps to the room and turned on the light. He tried to get to her first, but all he’d manage to do was grab her arm just after the light came on and pull her hard enough to crash into his chest.

 

_“What the Hell is wrong with you?! Why can’t you just be scared and do what I say?!”_

 

He now had a strong grasp on both her shoulders, clearly pissed and yelling. This wasn’t really going how she wanted it to. She did have an ace up her sleeve, though. Since he was still Saeran Choi, she still had a way to get to him that used to work. If he was still subconsciously aware of what she liked to eat…

Zifeara made her eyes water. She had long perfected the art of crying on cue since more often than not it’s all a girl had to do to get out of a sticky situation. Men were easy. When they were kids, the second she cried, Saeyoung was ready to fight someone and Saeran went into mother hen mode. Let’s see who he’d be now. Tears now falling, she made herself look small.

 

“Because you may not know me anymore, but I still care about you, you idiot. I missed you. One of the first things I asked Saeyoung once everything had calmed down a little was where you were! Nobody said I wasn’t scared, but it isn’t you I’m scared of.”

 

He looked at her as though she had directly stabbed him in the kidney. Apparently whatever state of mind he was in now came with mood swings. He regained himself somewhat quickly, though, removing his shocked expression and replacing it with one she could only describe as ‘stubborn’. It wasn’t angry anymore, but it wasn’t exactly sympathetic either. She pushed harder.

 

“Besides, you wanted me here to help you, right? Doesn’t that include taking care of you?”

 

That did it. He narrowed his eyes and his grip on her shoulders lessened.

 

_“I’m not telling you a damn thing, do you understand?”_

 

Moving around her, he shut the bathroom light off but went and turned on the one for the room. He sat down on the bed, shoulders slumped, and stared at her expectantly. She sat down just behind him and stopped herself from audibly gasping. That was not a tattoo. Those were lashes. Someone had very recently whipped him with something. All the marks looked angry and painful, a few of them, the deeper ones, worse than the rest. This could get infected.

 

“Saeran, these look bad. I need to do something about it.”

 

_“No, you got your answer, now you need to give me my jacket and shut up.”_

 

“Saeran Choi, don’t you play big and bad with me. If this gets infected, you’re fucked. It’ll take weeks for it to heal and a shitton of antibiotics to get it out of your system. Did you forget how easily you get sick?”

 

_“Listen you, I don’t-”_

 

“No you listen. Park your ass and wait. I’m dealing with this before you get yourself hurt any worse.”

 

Zifeara had seen a first aid kit under the sink that she now went to go get. This was going to be a long night.

  


Saeran glared as she walked into the bathroom. Nobody fucking talked to him like that. She wasn’t wrong, goddamnit, but how did she know that? Did… did he really forget her? Not important right now. She had this horrible way of taking the fight right out of him. What possessed him to react that way when she cried? He knew he was going to have his hands full with her, but he had planned to be a feared dictator. This was not the kind of fear he had in mind. What did she mean she wasn’t scared of him? If not him, then what? Whatever. If she was going to be a bitch, she’d have to pay for it later. He would have her drawing for him long into the coming days. When she did come back, Zifeara sat behind him and got to work.

 

_“This is going to hurt, but I have to clean these.”_

 

“Whatever. It can’t be that bad, just hurry up. I’m tired.”

 

The sting that followed wasn’t great, but it definitely didn’t hurt as much as getting the damn wounds in the first place. Saeran must have been insane to trust her with something like this right now, but Zifeara was being so… gentle with him. He had been tense since he assumed as soon as she did anything, it would be to try to subdue him to get out of here, but that moment never seemed to come. Now whatever she was doing was dulling the constant ache coming from the abrasions.

 

“How… how did you know about me getting sick?”

 

_“I told you, we were close as kids. One time we were all playing when we’d snuck you out of the house and you tripped and skinned your knee. Saeyoung got really worried because you could get an infection so I cleaned that up for you too. I was impressed; as young as you were, you didn’t cry or anything. You were strong then too.”_

 

He would not be swayed by words. She was trying to suck up to him to get him to let his guard down. That’s how they hurt you. This wouldn’t work on him.

 

“Hmm. What- hey, what are you doing? Stop that!”

 

She was lifting his arms. He moved to get up, but she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back down.

 

_“Not done yet. I have to wrap this so that the salve I put on you will stay so it’ll heal faster. Lift your arms for me.”_

 

He turned to glare again, but she returned his cold look.

 

“Have you always been a pain in the ass?”

 

_“Yes, but you haven’t. Now behave yourself and let me fix you, I’m almost done.”_

 

He growled again and did as she asked. She started wrapping gauze around him, making it snug but not painfully tight. He tensed every time she moved around his front, feeling her brush against his back. He didn’t just stiffen up, either. He could feel that bothersome heat creep into his face. This was becoming an unwelcome trend. Why was she making him feel this way? He never felt this when the Savior touched him and they were a girl. Hell, what Zifeara was doing wasn’t even all that intimate in the grand scheme of things. What was wrong with him? This was only technically the second day he’d had her and it was already not going the way he wanted it to.

 

_“There, was that really so bad? You’ll feel better in the morning. I’ll have to unwrap it tomorrow night to change the gauze, though. I’ll remind you to bring me more at lunch, ok?”_

 

“Yeah, whatever. You’re doing real work tomorrow, though, got it? I don’t want to deal with any of your bullshit, either.”

 

He got up and looked at her, only to find a large grin plastered across her face.

 

_“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”_

 

He wanted to be angry, really he did. Her smile was throwing a wrench in all of his plans. He had not thought a single human being could affect him this much, let alone a girl. Had he done the right thing in picking her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, prepare to see a lot of Mal with Saeyoung as they both try to find their siblings! Just that Saeyoung doesn't know he's finding his!


	3. You Drive Me Crazier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ZIfeara settles in to life as Saeran's 'assistant' while the search for her is on back home. It falls on Saeyoung to inform the RFA of what's going on and the disappearance of his childhood (crush) friend is starting to take its toll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was texting Ghost the other day and having her read stuff I was writing for chapter 9 and 10 of this fic (where it gets exciting!) and she sent me just a text of 'Aww, poor Saeran.' in response to something I did. Ergo, 'Aww poor Saeran' is the official title now since she says it so often:
> 
> Those That Stick Together: Aww Poor Saeran
> 
> Just thought you ought to know XD (I thought it was funny guess I'll shut up and give you the chapter now)

She was looking at him dubiously and he knew this was going to be a fight. He was sure it would be since she wasn’t an idiot, but he had so hoped she’d give up. 

 

“The sooner you swallow this, the sooner we can get to work. Don’t make me try to force you, you won’t like how that goes.”

 

Zifeara still scrunched her face.

 

_“Yes, but what is it? I’ll take it if you tell me honestly what it is. Probably.”_

 

Saeran was losing patience. He was trying to be as nice as he was going to get since his back actually did feel a lot better today. Didn’t he tell her yesterday that he wasn’t having her shit? He’d have to work on her listening skills. And obedience for sure. And probably not smiling so much and throwing off his whole damn day.

 

“Look, it’s part of your initiation process. This is something the Savior made themself in order to help put our minds minds at ease while we forget the troubles of the outside world. This is to calm and put you at peace.”

 

_“Ok, but what_ **_is_ ** _it?”_

 

“Will you just take the goddamn thing? I’m trying to be nice here and you’re making it really hard. Like I said yesterday, I will make this only as hard as you do. So what’s it gonna be?”

 

She still didn’t look happy, but took the white pill from him. She put it in her mouth and held her hand out for the glass of water he was holding, using it to swallow her salvation down.

 

“Good. Open your mouth.”

 

He had to make sure she wasn’t hiding it. The number of new disciples that had tried that were too numerous to remember since he didn’t care. Zifeara glared but did as he asked without further protest for once, even lifting her tongue to prove it was gone.

 

“Excellent. Come with me.”

 

Saeran led her to their door, but before he unlocked it he took her hand, trying to have at least one way of keeping her from immediately bolting. She raised an eyebrow at him, but he ignored her. Opening the door, he took her across the hall and into his office, letting go of her hand once the door shut. He grabbed a stack of files in manila folders from his desk and handed them to her, making sure she could handle the weight of the pile before he let go.

 

“I want these filed in alphabetical order into the second drawer of that filing cabinet over there by the couch. Do not touch my computer. If you do and don’t put in the correct passcode in 10 seconds, I will know and I will not be gentle about letting you know how unhappy that will make me. I have somewhere to be right now. _Behave_ yourself and get to work. I’ll be back in a little while. Do you understand?”

 

_“Sure, Saeran, that’s easy enough. What do I do when I’m done?”_

 

“Well you can read since all of my books are in here. I won’t be gone that long, just don’t do anything stupid.”

  


Sitting in the pile of folders, Zifeara got bored quickly. She had already taken the pill Saeran handed her earlier and stashed it in her pocket so that she could have her left hand back. She had always been good at sleight of hand since practicing magic tricks as a kid and Mal teaching her a thing or two about pickpocketing. The disappearing quarter trick had served her well today. Thankfully, she had been wearing her favorite hoodie at the time of her RFA induction since the sleeves on it were longer than the ones on her shirt. She was so lucky she had taken the pill with her left hand though; if she hadn’t, Saeran would have found her out earlier when he took her other hand to lead her in here. She would flush it later when she went to the bathroom. There was no way in Hell she was taking whatever it was...

Filing was so easy it hurt. Even though it was heavy and there were probably close to 60 folders, she was done with the pile in half an hour and she wasn’t even hurrying. Looking over the books on the shelf, she found most of them boring, so she looked around Saeran’s desk. It was a mess. Based on things scattered everywhere, it looked like he had been working pretty hard on something recently. Moving things that weren’t of importance around, she got it at least a little tidier. Bored and now with nothing to do, she sat in his computer chair and spun around for a bit, thinking about everything in general. She stopped when the door opened again. Saeran looked at her disapprovingly.

 

_“Did you do what I asked you to?”_

 

“Of course~ Filing is easy and your books are boring. Saeran, can I have my drawing tablet?”

 

He sighed and rolled his eyes, but he went back out, returning momentarily with her prized possession. She got up to go take to from him, but he held it away from her.

 

_“Go sit down.”_

 

She gave him a questioning look, but sat on the couch as he asked. He sat as well, placing her device behind him, still looking… rather unhappy.

 

_“You need rules. The Savior has made an exception with how you are being treated since you are my assistant, but has made it very clear that I must keep you in check. Number one: you will do as I say, when I say it. I understand you have this awful habit of asking questions, but you need to stop that. I tell you to do things for your own good. I went through a lot of trouble to get you and I intend to keep you. Number two: you do not go_ **_anywhere_ ** _without me. This is extremely important and the Savior has given this rule themself. Number three: you do not talk to the other disciples. I don’t give half a shit what they say to you, you keep quiet. This shouldn’t be a problem since you will not leave my side, but I have a feeling I have to be very clear with you. Number four: do not bother me while I’m working. I’m very busy and don’t have time to keep you entertained. That is not what I’m here for. If you start being a problem, I will add more rules and I_ **_do not_ ** _have any problems disciplining you should you break any of these. Do you understand me, Zifeara? I will go through this again if you need me to.”_

 

During those last two sentences, he grabbed her chin to make sure he was looking her dead in the eyes and imposing upon her the gravity of what he had said. It wasn’t uncomfortable, if anything it could almost be described as firm but gentle. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was genuinely worried about her.

 

“Yes, Saeran, I understand.”

 

He held her there a moment more, searching for any hint of sarcasm. Sighing and letting go, he got up, holding her tablet out to her.

 

_“Then keep yourself busy for a while. I’ll probably need something else after lunch, but right now I have a lot to do and I don’t want to deal with you.”_

  


At least Zifeara was doing what he said for once. She had been drawing happily all morning and Saeran had gotten a lot done. He turned to tell her they were going to have lunch now, but he stopped. He hadn’t seen her drawing since he had been away from her yesterday. Food could wait a moment. She was lying down, propped up on the armrest of the couch; just like he had imagined her. Whatever she was drawing was making her happy; she was focusing, but still smiling, from time to time gently biting her bottom lip and tilting her head this was and that. That feeling was back. That weird heat he couldn’t seem to understand. Was he sick after all? He hadn’t felt any of the other symptoms of illness that usually accompanied a fever and this seemed to only happen around her. The more he watched her, the more he wanted to know what she was making. Her fingers were so delicate and nimble that it was easy to imagine whatever she was creating was as well.

 

“What are you drawing?”

 

Shit. He hadn’t meant to say anything to her. At least he had kept himself from sounding _too_ interested. She looked over to him, smile vanishing, like she had forgotten he was there.

 

_“Oh. Uh, a few things, actually. I keep switching documents. Mostly cats.”_

 

“Let me see it.”

 

She looked confused again, but also a little… the only word he could think of was defensive.

 

_“No. None of these are done yet and they aren’t very good.”_

 

“Did you just say no to me? I thought we were clear on your rules.”

 

The look she shot him was half indignation half unimpressed disdain.

 

_“I highly doubt seeing what I’m drawing is so important that it falls under the rules. I don’t like people seeing what I’m working on before it’s done or most of my sketches.”_

 

“I don’t care what _you_ want, _I_ said give it here.”

 

He got up and made his way over to her, demeanor demanding and authoritative. He was going to have those drawings, damn it. This was what he had been most excited about having her here for. Zifeara sat up, clearly taking a guarded position and holding her tablet close to her chest. Here we go.

 

_“Saeran, I said no.”_

 

Standing over her, he glared daggers. Reaching out to grab the device from her, she got up and backed away, causing him to follow. He was taking this thing whether it was given willingly or not. The more she evaded him, the more frustrated he got. He was starting to think she was enjoying this, but he finally cornered her. He had her stuck between the filing cabinet and the wall.

 

_“Do you want to make a deal?”_

 

“No, I want to see what you’re drawing.”

 

_“If you can guess my favorite animal, I’ll show you.”_

 

He considered a moment. He could just grab her and take what he wanted. This was what he was used to, but… Something was stopping him from doing what exactly he wanted around her. A tiny voice in his brain screamed at him anytime he thought about hurting her. He wished it would shut up.

 

“Tiger.”

 

_“Oooh, close, but no cigar. How about this, as a prize for trying, I’ll draw my favorite animal just for you later and show you that. Okay?”_

 

As Zifeara grinned up at him, he realized exactly how close to her he was now. Close enough that if he leaned down a few inches, their noses would touch. This was making him uncomfortable. He grumbled about lunch and moved away towards the door, telling her to leave her tablet here. She set it on the couch as he held his arm out without looking at her, intending for her to take his hand so they could leave. The feeling of her slipping her hand willingly into his sent a small shiver up his spine, but he opened the door and led her down the hall into the kitchen. She could get her own damn plate.

The looks from the other members were far more noticeable now. All activity ceased to stare at the new woman whose hand Saeran had a deathgrip on. The rumors were true; Saeran really had brought someone else here who wasn’t being initiated like a normal member. Everyone in the compound already knew. Everyone in the compound could fuck right off for all he cared. Looking down at Zifeara, she thankfully seemed more focused on getting food for herself than paying attention to anyone else either. As soon as they had their plates, he took her hand again and headed back to the room.

 

_“Saeran, don’t forget I need something for you later.”_

 

Right. He made a noise indicating he’d deal with it later, which thankfully shut her up. They were eating in his room today since he was done with work for right now. Setting himself in a corner of the room, he didn’t even get to put a bite in his mouth before Zifeara was staring.

 

“What now?”

 

_“You’re eating in here. With me.”_

 

“I don’t have anything better to do right now.”

 

She smiled wider and sat at his desk, eating her own food and keeping to herself for the time being. He finished first and got back up to head down to the infirmary to get her stupid gauze. He was out the door before she could ask. When he made it in, there was one other disciple present already, counting the supplies. They turned to him and their expression darkened.

 

_“Saeran, what are you here for?”_

 

He didn’t answer and simply took what he needed from a cabinet and ignored the woman. At least Saeran tried to until she said something she really shouldn’t have.

 

_“I saw her earlier. She seems to be… far too comfortable for only her third day here. We aren’t allowed to keep pets in the compound, Saeran.”_

 

“That’s funny considering I see Jihyun all the time. Mind your own fucking business, the Savior approved all of this, so it isn’t for you to think about.”

 

Slamming the cupboard door shut, he stormed out and back down to his room. What did they know. He got special privileges because he was important. If the Savior got to keep that blind idiot of hers around, he got to have someone too. Hard work and loyal service reaps rewards. That’s why he was the only one to have a personal vehicle too. He went to unlock his door, but paused, opting to open his office instead and grabbed Zifeara’s tablet too. She had something to draw him.

 

***

 

He was not looking forward to this. Zifeara had been missing a full day and he didn’t have anything to go on. Not only that, but he still had to keep up with work from the agency and avoid letting Vanderwood know where he was. Saeyoung leaned back against the wall and sighed, running his hands through his hair. This was going to be bad. Taking a deep breath and punching in the number, he waited, seeing if he got any connection right now. He had both the best and worst luck.

 

_“Hello? Luciel? It must be important if you’re calling right now.”_

 

“Yeah, it is V… We have a situation…”

  


_707 has entered the chatroom_

 

_707: Hmm. No one is on._

_707: Everyone, there’s something I need to tell you…_

_707: I’m sure by now you’ve all noticed Zifeara hasn’t been on lately._

_707: That’s…_

_707: That’s because I’ve failed._

_707: Zifeara is gone._

_707: They took her._

 

Saeyoung took his glasses off and knocked his head against the wall, tears streaking their way down his cheeks. He couldn’t even protect one single person. He couldn’t protect either of the two people he had ever truly cherished. She was gone because he had been stupid. Careless. Incompetent. He knew the odds of finding her unharmed dwindled by the hour. Statistics were not favorable in kidnappings. All he could do now was hope. Hope and work as hard to find her as he should have to protect her.

  


It had been a while since Malaya had been out of the city. She had gone north to the next town, scouring a good portion of it for any sign of the kidnappers. She had found only one vehicle matching the one Michael had seen take her and it obviously hadn’t moved for years if not a decade. She sat down on the roof of the town’s general store, town map in hand.  A lot of locations had been crossed out. Some a bit viciously. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to her two minions. Lily had taken the east neighborhoods and Fell had taken the west.

_Any luck? :Mal_

_L.Harbinger: Negative._

_Fell: Nothing here either. Sorry Boss._

_L.Harbinger: We’ll find her._

_I want that sooner than later, meet me at town hall and we’ll take_

_northern neighborhoods together. :Mal_

 

They both confirmed their orders. Malaya sent Michael an email filled with any and all information found by them that was even vaguely suspicious. If anyone could spot something they missed it would be Michael. And Saeyoung she admitted. He was at the Market now, doing the one thing she was never able to pick up from her parents. She could use computers, but not to the extent that 707 could. Maybe he could teach her after everything settled. If they could save Zifeara.

_WHEN._ WHEN they saved Zifeara.

She wasn’t letting another important person slip away from her. She pocketed her phone and the map and scrambled down the building. On to the next section. And the next. And the next.

The next few days passed in a blur of failure. She worked Lily and Fell to the bone before sending them back to Michael to report and rest, continuing on her own to the third small town a reasonable distance north of home. It was the last town within her territory and Mal prayed to all the gods she didn’t believe in that Zifeara wasn’t farther out. It took four days to comb that town. Four useless days.

Mal flopped down into a park swing, dead on her feet. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept or eaten something not filled with sugar and caffeine. She pulled out her phone. Eight missed calls and several texts. Michael wasn’t exactly pleased with her choices at the moment.

_Michael: Where are you?!_

_Michael: Why did you send back Fell and Lily?_

_Michael: Malaya! Answer your phone! Don’t make me send someone after you._

_Michael: Please don’t start a gang war by crossing the border. I already have Hellebore working on finding out if she’s farther north._

 

Malaya went through the messages, deleting them as she went. A total of thirty six. She was kind of impressed. She started to put her phone away when it buzzed again. Annoyed she went to delete it without even looking at its contents but then the sender caught her eye. Sighing, she opened the message.

 

_Kai: Hey Mal. Get back here. The redheaded wonder found something._

_Finally! Should reach the Market by morning. :Mal_

 

She stood carefully, a bit more exhausted than she would like to admit. It took a second before she was able to take off at a sprint to the nearest bus stop.

_Just a little longer Zifeara!_

***

 

_“Are you done yet?”_

Saeran was yet again glaring at her over his shoulder from his chair. He had been asking her probably every 20 minutes if she had finished her drawing or not since yesterday she promised she’d draw her favorite animal. She was almost done; the melanistic leopard was coming along rather nicely. Spots were hard to blend correctly, however, so getting them all just right and the lighting perfect was taking time. Had he always been such an impatient little shit?

 

“Almost, almost. What I’m making isn’t exactly easy, you know. I’d like to see you try to do this.”

 

_“Ugh, you’ve been at it since yesterday and you still aren’t done…”_

 

“You know, for someone as standoffish and grouchy as you are, you sure do seem to care an awful lot about my art. I’d almost think you liked it.”

 

Slouching and grumbling over his keyboard, the angstier Choi went back to whatever it was he worked on and stayed that way for the rest of the day, not stopping for lunch this time. Zifeara didn’t even notice. Her panther was done by lunch, but now he seemed to be in the zone and she didn’t want to ruin that for him. Plus rule number four was very clearly not to bother him and she wanted to see Saeran kick himself if she pointed it out later that evening should he ask why she hadn’t showed him when she finished.

Instead she drew more Bengal Saeran, now sitting in his computer chair on his jacket, scowling and looking behind himself as he did just a few hours ago. She’d show him this too when he got uppity with her. Zifeara was just coloring in his spots over his silvery fur when she got a song stuck in her head which she absentmindedly started humming softly. She wondered if… her yPod was still in her bag, wasn’t it? Maybe she could convince Saeran to charge it for her. It wasn’t a fancy one, so she couldn’t do anything more than listen to music and play solitaire with the thing. She had cycled through about three songs in her head when she checked on Saeran to find him staring. He looked guilty upon getting caught and typed faster.

Thinking about it, he wasn’t so different besides all the snark and probable psychosis. And she liked the snark. He had always been diligent when reading or solving one of the puzzle toys she used to bring him and he was just as devoted, if not a little distracted, to whatever it was he was doing now. He always liked learning and a challenge, which he seemed just as susceptible to now. Saeran had always been shy around her even though now he tried to act tough first. He had certainly always been stubborn, though now he just voiced it as opposed to giving determined looks quietly. Zifeara watched him typing, nimble fingers moving quickly across his keys. If given the chance, she should try to teach him piano; he had the perfect hands for it.

Saeran had stopped for a moment, reading something on a new window that had popped up. He looked around his screens, trying to find something he had moved. Dragging a different thing from the small monitor to his right, she couldn’t help but notice that the background underneath looked very, very familiar. That’s why he had thought she liked tigers. A smile crept across her face.

 

“If you liked my pictures so much, you could have just sent me a commission instead of kidnapping me, you know.”

 

Saeran froze. Turning in his chair, he gave her a look that implied she was insane just for thinking he liked anything to ever exist.

 

_“And what makes you think I care about anything you do?”_

 

“Well, it could be that you keep bothering me about how my drawings are coming.”

 

_“That doesn’t mean anything.”_

 

“Then what about that?”

 

Pointing at his monitor with her drawing stylus, he glanced at it for half a second, looked unimpressed, then did a double take, clearly haven forgotten the cosmic tiger was there. Dragging something over it and typing loudly, he said something into his work that sounded vaguely like ‘shut the fuck up’ and leaving Zifeara to try not to laugh directly at him. She finished Bengal Saeran later, around the same time he turned off all his things and got up.

 

_“Dinner. Let’s go.”_

 

“Don’t you want to see the picture?”

 

She could tell that after their earlier conversation he really wanted to say no, but clearly curiosity got the better of him. She switched tabs to her panther as he sat well on the other side of the couch from her, holding his hand out for her tablet.

 

“Oh no you don’t, I’m not handing you this. I don’t trust you with it.”

 

She scooted over so she was close enough to show him without giving him the device. She had drawn the big cat slinking across a fallen log, stalking something unseen and spots shimmering in the bright moonlight of the deep jungle night. It’s eyes were a bright gold, not unlike what his once were. He was silent for a while, looking over every detail thoroughly, expression changing from annoyance to something akin to reverence. Zifeara didn’t know how long it had been, but at some point Saeran realized he shouldn’t have been this invested and stood up abruptly, quickly going to the door. She set her tablet down and followed, knowing they were going to get food. Before he opened it, he looked down at the floor.

 

_“Why?”_

 

“Hmm?”

 

_“Why is that your favorite?”_

 

That was the other thing that was the same; his sense of curiosity. She smiled, not looking at him to try to make him less uncomfortable since he was almost being nice.

 

“They’re beautiful. They’re powerful. The way they move is so graceful and the way light plays off their coats is amazing; all their spots invisible until seen just the right way.”

 

_“...It looks good.”_

 

She thought she was hearing things, but Saeran opened the door quickly and hustled her through it, making it clear there would be no further discussion on the subject. They got their dinner and headed back, him having set his food down and leaving her by herself a moment. Zifeara dug through her bag and sure enough, she had her MP3 player. She put it in her pocket for now and started to eat. He came back with a book and her device, clearly intending to be done with work for the night and tossing the latter to her. Once he had eaten, he sat down on his bed to read. Finishing her food as well, she figured now would be as good a time as any to ask her favor. Pulling her yPod out and taking her tablet too, she sat on the bed as well, causing him to look at her sideways in protest. Sidling up next to him made him close his book and outright glare.

 

“Hey, I was wondering if you could charge this for me tomorrow.”

 

Holding the MP3 out to him, he snatched it and turned it on, the little battery icon red and sad.

 

_“What is it? You wouldn’t be stupid enough to hand me something you could use to get out of here, right?”_

 

“Of course not. It’s literally just a yPod. The most advanced thing it does is play solitaire and I like having music while I draw. My headphones are around here somewhere too.”

 

_“... Will it shut you up while I’m working?”_

 

That seemed unfair. She had asked him, like, maybe three ancillary questions that day while he was doing something.

 

“If I say yes, will you do it?”

 

Narrowing his eyes, he zipped it into one of his jacket pockets, shuffled himself further away from her, and went back to his book. Zifeara liked to think that was a yes.

 

“Do you want to see what else I drew today?”

 

_“Do you mean to tell me the panther didn’t take all day and you didn’t show me when you were done?”_

 

Bingo. Now came the smug moment she’d been hoping for since lunch.

 

“Well, you were working so hard when I finished and I seem to recall someone giving me a rule telling me not to bother them while busy.”

 

His face reddened a bit and he looked well pissed. He clearly hated it when she was right.

 

_“I- you- has anyone ever told you that you’re an insufferable bitch before? Because you kind of are.”_

 

She feigned offence.

 

“I beg your pardon? I was simply doing what you asked me to! If you’d like me to bother you more, I can, though, just make up your mind what you want.”

 

He didn’t have a rebuttal. He got up and stormed out the door, clearly done trying to be sociable. Zifeara giggled. It was honestly pretty easy to get him to give up and she was sure this was something she would be able to use to her advantage at some point. She added a background to Bengal Saeran before going to take a shower and heading to sleep for the night.

  


Time actually passed quickly at Mint Eye. Saeran had allowed her her MP3 after all, so things really weren’t that bad. Her daily tasks included dealing with his paperwork, keeping his desk looking like less of a mess, and drawing. Being an assistant wasn’t all it was made out to be, honestly. Jaehee needed to be kidnapped next. The worst part of everything wasn’t even how abrasive Saeran was, either. The worst was every morning when he handed her the pill of whatever bullshit she was supposed to be taking. Zifeara had managed to get away with hiding it most days, but on the few occasions where she had to swallow it, she made herself throw it right back up in the bathroom. There was no way in Hell she was letting whatever this shit was get into her system.

Speaking of Saeran though, by the time she’d been here a week, something was definitely… different with him. Sure he was still grumpy and growled at her a lot, but he also… stared a lot. More than he did when she first got here. Usually when he thought she wouldn’t notice or when she was supposed to be absorbed in the daily drawing she was to present him with. He had seriously demanded that of her. He stopped trying to pretend he wasn’t interested two days ago after she had made a rainbow-pelted zebra and told her she had to make him something new every single day. That was fine, it wasn’t hard, but it was sort of cute. He never told her he wanted anything in particular, she asked every day and he always gave the same answer: ‘Whatever, just keep away from me till I need you and do it.’ She still hadn’t shown him the drawing of him as a cat yet, either.

Tonight was interesting, though. She had just taken the last of the gauze off him and cleared him to go without it anymore. The lacerations had healed nicely and the scars wouldn’t even be that bad if they kept healing like this. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t curious about how he got these, she had a pretty good guess too, but it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it with the way he got antsy while she was working on them. Zifeara noticed all his old scars too; it was hard not to since several stood out so much on his porcelain skin. After making quick work of cleaning residue from the antiseptic ointment off him and making sure everything looked ok, she forgot she wasn’t supposed to notice all the marks.

She absentmindedly ran a finger down one that was close to these new wounds but definitely older, making Saeran shudder and spring off the bed; turning to give her a hard stare. She could tell he was about to yell. Zifeara drew her hand to her chest and looked down, something that she had learned worked on him as sort of a diffusion of his anger, a sign of apology and submission. It was very similar to how wolves worked, in a way. Eyes fixed on the floor, she waited to hear the explosion of curses and general annoyance she was now used to, but it didn’t come this time. Daring to look back up, she saw that he was still just glaring. Thinking. Turning away. Grabbing his shirt to put it back on. Losing his fight. Going across the hall for something. Huh. What? This was very new. Saeran had never just… stopped before. He came back minutes later with another book and plopped down at his desk to read, not making eye contact and doing his very best to ignore her. Well then, this was a pleasant surprise. He was becoming almost normal. Almost.

After an hour or so, she was ready for bed and shut her tablet off, about to go brush her teeth. Saeran was staring again, but instead of looking away this time, he put his book down.

 

_“Alright, here’s the new deal; I’m sick of sleeping on the couch in my office and I want my bed back.”_

 

Apparently, a disinterestedly raised eyebrow was not quite the response he was looking for.

 

_“You have two options. You can either be locked in the office all night and live on that couch…”_

 

“Or?”

 

She knew what the ‘or’ was going to be, but she couldn’t help it; giving him any sense that he was in control only to take it out from under him was not only fun, but was proving to be an effective way of conditioning him to treat her with something almost like respect.

 

_“Or you can sleep with me.”_

 

He crossed his arms and was smiling like he was proud of himself for putting her in such a difficult position. Go the high ground and exclaim that she’d rather die on an uncomfortable sofa than share a single thing with him, or sink into madness and share a bed with her cruel captor. Pfft. She moved over to one side of the bed and flipped the blankets off the other, patting the now exposed opening.

 

“Be my guest, Romeo. Just don’t be mad when I wake you in the middle of the night; I’ve been told I move around a lot.”

  


He went from crestfallen to flustered in seconds, realizing that the game he had planned to play was not going to happen. She gave him a grin challenging him to follow through lest she call his bluff. He got himself into this mess, now he either had to man up or admit defeat. Saeran Choi was not a quitter. He also was not ready for this. He had only been sort of serious and wanted to mess with her for once. It was too late to back out now.

He rolled his eyes to disguise his embarrassment and went to brush his teeth, Zifeara following to do the same. He didn’t say a word to her as he reclaimed his side of his own bed, coincidentally the opposite side she had already claimed. Damn it. He buried himself in blankets with a huff and turned away from where she’d be, still annoyed that she wasn’t at all agitated by this. Sleeping on that couch really was pissing him off though. The light flicked off and he felt Zifeara get in too, happily staying on her own side and sighing as she got comfortable. Everything felt as though the room was located on the sun. He was too hot but he refused to emerge from his protective blanket fort. Every noise was so loud right now that he could hear her breathe.

Saeran focused on the rhythm, trying to determine when she fell asleep so that he could make himself more comfortable. Overheating or not, he felt oddly… peaceful with a steady sound to concentrate on. Granted, it was coming from a girl he would rather put his own eyes out than admit he was starting to warm up to. Literally. He was her kidnapper, goddamnit, he was supposed to be ordering her around, not being embarrassed to be so close together. In fact, he should have ordered her to sleep with him the first night she was here instead of running away to the other room. He had wanted her to anyway. He was getting exactly what he wanted, so why was it this nerve wrecking? He didn’t even think he had nerves anymore. What the Hell was wrong with him?

  


Zifeara awoke to an odd noise, something akin to fast breathing but almost whining, soft yet high pitched. Sitting up and looking around, she had almost forgotten that Saeran had made good on his hilariously unintimidating threat earlier and was about 3 inches away from her. He was making that noise. His legs were slightly twitching and he had his fists clenched. He was having a nightmare. Saeyoung had mentioned this once a very long time ago, asking Zifeara to look up how to deal with these things to give him a way to help his brother. Guess there were some things you couldn’t fix. Watching him for a moment, he was clearly scared of whatever he was dreaming about based on the way his face was distorted. Oh Hell.

Turning over, she wrapped her arms around him from behind, holding his arms close to his chest so he was flailing a little less and molded herself to his back. She softly hummed a melody in his ear, watching as he settled and began breathing evenly again. Saeyoung probably didn’t go this far when they were kids, but at least she knew it worked. Loosening her grip now that he was calm, Zifeara went to turn back around and get comfortable again. She stopped when Saeran shifted more and grabbed her arm. It wasn’t forceful, just firm enough that she didn’t want to risk waking him. Welp, guess this was a thing. Looks like they both got more than they bargained for.

  


Saeran woke up very groggy, as he usually did when he had actually gotten a good night’s sleep. He was used to getting 3 or 4 hours most nights, mainly because he more often than not would have a nightmare or just generally worked through the day. He felt like he may have actually slept for more, though, maybe even as many as 7 hours. He usually remembered his nightmares as well, but he had nothing right now. He hadn’t thought moving from the sofa back to his bed would be this good. He also realized he was pleasantly warm. Usually he kept his room pretty cold so that he could cocoon himself in blankets the way he liked, but he distinctly remembered kicking them off last night. Had he brought them back? He went to move his arm to feel around and find out, but it was stuck. What the Hell? He looked down, or at least he tried to.

There was something right under his chin keeping him from moving his head very far. Looking as far down as he could, he saw that he had his arms around something… big… **oh shit.** He had completely forgotten about Zifeara. He couldn’t move his arm because it was tucked under hers, wrapped around her waist. His other one was running just under her neck and over the other side of the bed. He was too hot again. _Far_ too hot. As uncomfortable as this heat was… he didn’t want to move. Saeran knew he should want to get out of here faster than a wolf in a trap, but something was wrong. He was on fire but he liked the way it burned.

Saeran took a moment to indulge in something he had wanted to do from the second he had seen Zifeara. Slowly moving the arm that was under her head, he very carefully and gingerly ran his fingers over her hair. She had so much of it that it wasn’t hard to find a section that wouldn’t disturb her, but it didn’t feel like he had expected it to. It was softer. He didn’t have anything to compare it to besides the Savior’s hair, but it was still dissimilar to even that. His blood turned from lava to ice as she made a sighing noise. He was caught. He could feel her face against his chest as she moved, releasing his arm and rolling over, back to the other side of the bed. He moved his other arm as fast as he could so she wouldn’t lay back on it and got up. This was the perfect chance to escape and he needed a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, we all know what kinda shower that is, don't we >^>
> 
> Really though, I should be posting new chapters of this pretty often now, I have bloody tons done on this. And I'm in a writing mood.
> 
> EDIT: [Thwippersnapple](https://thwippersnapple.tumblr.com/) IS AT IT AGAIN


	4. You’re The Best Awful Thing To Happen To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran is losing it and it's all his assistant's fault. The RFA knows Zifeara is missing now, but all that does is add to Seven's growing despair. Zifeara is having problems keeping her captor under control. All in all, fun times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as just a general song, [Invisible Kid](https://youtu.be/y-GBHGl75tc) by Metallica reminds me of Saeran a lot, so if you haven't heard that, you should!

This was not okay. This was very, very not okay. Something was happening to him. Something bad. Bad. This was bad. He was bad. She was trouble. But he liked her. He… he liked Zifeara? No, didn’t like anyone. Didn’t need anyone. Bad. Others were bad. Others hurt. Others left. She wasn’t trying to leave. Why wasn’t she running? Why wasn’t she scared? Why didn’t she hate him? She… was nice. Looked nice. Smelled nice. _Felt_ nice. No. Wrong. Bad. She was a girl. Girls hurt worse. Couldn’t stay nice. The Savior was nice. Then they started to hurt. But he had liked how they hurt. Would… could Zifeara hurt the same way? He wanted that. Did he? _Yes_ . No. That was bad. She was bad. He was bad. They were bad. They? He’d only been a they once. _That was bad_. But this was good? No. No. Nononononono…

  


Zifeara woke up to find Saeran gone, but she wasn’t surprised. He left at the weirdest times. She got up and stretched, trying to keep herself limber though she couldn't go anywhere. Today was probably going to be boring. She didn’t know if he was going to have anything new for her to do or not and she wanted so badly to go outside. She didn’t feel like drawing. She’d show him one of her other drawings so that rule was covered, but she just wanted to… _do_ something. She felt like it was taking too long for her Family to find her. They must be pretty far away. Still stretching, the door opened and Zifeara looked over to Saeran. He looked awful. She went to ask if he was okay, but his low, disinterested tone cut her off.

 

_“Breakfast.”_

 

He was holding the door open, not bothering to try to keep her from escaping today, it seemed. Zifeara went obediently to his side and noticed he was slouching pretty hard. He looked exhausted. Had she really kept him up _that_ much last night? This was not the place to have this discussion; she’d wait till they got back to their room. She filled her plate but stopped when she noticed Saeran wasn’t getting food. She made her pile of hashbrowns larger and took another pancake. She was not going to let this boy starve.

He opened the door to their room and again held it open, clearly expecting her to go in. She knew the second she did, he would leave. So Zifeara stood, staring at him, not letting him get rid of her that easily.

 

_“I am really, really not in the mood for this today. Get. In.”_

 

“Not without you.”

 

_“I swear if you don’t get your ass in this room…”_

 

“Not without you, Saeran. Something is wrong with you and I’m not leaving you alone.”

 

It was very clearly taking everything he had to not explode. But he was trying. Zifeara lowered her tone but kept her voice gentle.

 

“I’m not asking you to tell me what’s going on, I’m just asking you to let me stay with you.”

 

He was bubbling over. He wasn’t reasonable today. He clenched his jaw and pointed into the room. He was not asking anymore. She sighed and did as he said, looking back at him once she was in, silently begging him to reconsider. He glared a moment more before storming in himself, gathering a backpack from one of the drawers of his dresser and going back towards the door. She set the food down and stood between him and the card reader, arms crossed. He got right in her face, eyes still blazing with anger.

_“Get the fuck out of my way.”_

 

“Saeran, you need to eat.”

 

_“Like Hell I do. Move.”_

 

“No. You aren’t okay. You at least need to-”

 

Normally Zifeara had the reflexes of some sort of hybrid cat/ninja. This was one of those rare occasions where something caught her by surprise. She wasn’t even completely aware that he had hit her till it occurred to her she wasn’t looking at him anymore. She felt the sting from the impact around the same time she realized she should be mad about it. She looked back at him with probably the harshest glare she had ever given someone she liked. She probably looked ready to kill him. He noticed.

He was a foot away now, still looking defiant, but also slightly worried. He looked as though he were right on the edge of crying, screaming and/or straight up running away. She took a deep breath in and he tensed further. Exhaling, she made her tone even.

 

“Saeran, you need to have something to eat before you leave. You aren’t getting through this door till you do.”

  


What the actual Hell. He hadn’t meant to hit Zifeara, really he hadn’t, but ever since his panic attack in the shower this morning, he was on edge. Days when he had one weren’t good for anybody. The second he did it, he expected either retaliation or more crying, neither of which he thought he could handle right now. He needed to leave so badly. To just get on his bike and go somewhere he could see the clouds. Maybe even go to the tiny village further up the mountain again and get a few things. He didn’t want this. This was bad. Bad. He was bad. He couldn’t do this again, not right now. He needed to get out.

Saeran had backed away a bit, just to make sure Zifeara couldn’t reach him and waited, trying to figure out how he was going to get her away from the door. He hadn’t expected her to be so calm about this. She wasn’t going to hit him back? Bullshit. She was just… waiting. And insisting he eat… Oh what the _Hell_? Why? She couldn’t really care this much. No one cared about him this much besides the Savior. He didn’t ask for this when he had brought her here.

He… was losing his will to fight her. He wasn’t really hungry. He had to get her out of his way. He didn’t want to deal with Zifeara. He had hit Zifeara. He felt… not good that he had hit her. He… liked Zifeara? No… Yes? She looked so angry with him, but… no, this wasn't angry. She looked… sadmad? That wasn't a word. Disappointed? Not that either. Whatever it was it was… bad. Bad. He was bad. She was bad… She was… not bad. He… liked Zifeara. He felt… sad that he had hit her.

Saeran felt himself trying to curl desperately into a ball, but settled on just sitting on the bed, head hung and attempting to calm himself down enough to get her out of his way a little less vehemently than that. When she moved towards him he tensed, waiting for her to be less sad and more mad. She was going to hit him and he deserved it. He was bad. When her hand reached out for him, he was ready. Ready for the hitting, the yelling, the pain; he knew all of those things too well. He could handle it. Zifeara hesitated, deciding what to do to him first. He wasn't ready for how she gently ran her fingers through his hair, just the once. When he looked up at her, expression half disbelief half disgust, she was again holding the plate of breakfast.

 

_“Saeran, behave yourself for just a few minutes? I can tell you've had a rough morning, but that was a little uncalled for. You'll feel better if you eat.”_

 

She sat down next to him, taking a forkful of pancake and held it out, intending to feed him. She… wasn't mad? But he had hit her. How could she not be mad? She… was… good. Too good. Too good for him. He was bad. He would not be fed like a baby. He grabbed the fork out of her hand and put it in his mouth, not tasting the food, just feeling that damned heat in his face. She handed him the plate and remained where she was, watching him like a hawk. She was a pain in the ass. She was _his_ pain in the ass. Too good for him or not, he owned her. She was his assistant. She was good at being his assistant.

When convinced he had eaten enough to shut her up, Saeran shoved the plate back and got up, heading to the door before she could stop him again. When the lock clicked, he hesitated. She wasn't trying to stop him. He looked back at her and she was just staring, still calm. He still felt kind of upset that he hit her. He shouldn't have.

 

“What do you want?”

 

_“Well I'd like to know what's going on with you, but I know you won't tell me.”_

 

“No. ...I'm going into a town today. What do you want?”

 

Zifeara’s face was blank, seemingly unable to process what he had said. She better hurry up and answer or there would be no apology gifts.

 

_“Paper. Blank white paper and a set of markers.”_

 

Her expression hadn't changed, but he narrowed his eyes and left, opening the key box next to the garage door and snagging the set for his motorcycle. He wouldn't be gone long, this place was only an hour away. Close enough to get there and back without worrying anyone. He would get ice cream. Ice cream and paper, apparently.

 

***

 

This was inevitable. The others would be here soon and he would have his hands full with 4 angry… 6 angry people asking him the answer to a question he himself would give anything to know. Where in the actual Hell was Zifeara Nightshade? Whoever had taken her was on a skill level rivaling the infamous Seven Zero Seven himself, so right now they only knew where she wasn't. Two weeks and they knew where she wasn't. Saeyoung was still doing work while he was searching, but he only slept every 3 days and then only for a few hours at a time. And yet he still had nothing. Now he really actually had nothing; the hacker had been all too quiet now that Seven needed some form of activity to try to figure out where he was.

The chime above the door to the Black Market sounded, announcing the first of the RFA had arrived. Thankfully it was Yoosung. The gamer looked almost as tired as Saeyoung himself was. “Hey, Yoosung. The back corner over here is ours. As soon as everyone is here I'll introduce you to who I've been working with.”

 

The blonde sat at a chair set by the table that had been moved for their meeting. He was never this quiet, but he soon remedied that. _“Seven, what is happening? Where is she? How… how could this have happened? We- we were sup-posed to take care of her…”_ He was very clearly on the verge of tears, probably not the first time recently based on the bags under his eyes.

 

The hacker sighed. “I know, Yoosung, I know. We… You guys didn't do anything wrong, this is all on me. All my fault.” He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair, not caring at the slight tremble in his voice. He had to be strong right now. Strong for his missing girl. Who he was going to hopefully spend the rest of his life making this up to.

 

The next chime was less favorable. Zen. He looked pretty unhappy to begin with, but when he looked around the cafe and spotted Saeyoung, his already dark demeanor turned downright stormy. He clearly had a lot to say and wasn’t going to be reserved about it, either. The actor moved quickly to stand over Saeyoung, the height difference of only a few inches looking like more do to the redhead’s slumped posture. _“Seven, what the Hell happened? You said you were watching her! How could some freak take her if_ **_you were watching her_ ** _?”_

 

Yoosung stood back up, ready to diffuse the situation, but the door chime stopped him. Someone came in that only Seven recognized. Fang was here and he had a massive black wolf-dog at his heels. The blonde and Zen looked worried and glanced at Saeyoung, thinking this newcomer might be an actual customer, but the new man and his dog came right up to them and Fang sat down in one of their chairs. He didn’t look at any of them, but the dog wagged its tail and snuffled at Yoosung excitedly. The younger boy looked from dog to owner before cautiously holding a hand out to pet the beast.

 

Saeyoung relaxed and took a step back from Zen now that he was distracted. “Who’s the mutt, Fang?” He could at least try to make a normal conversation for his friend’s sake. He did already say he was doing introductions later, but that didn’t include the dog Yoosung was now taking comfort in petting.

 

Still not looking up from the floor, Fang’s voice sounded hoarse. It was probably the combination of lack of sleep and crying, but he still looked more together today than he had the past few days. _“Lazarus.”_ The dog looked at his master quickly, then went back to his new friend once he figured out he wasn’t being called. At least he seemed to be therapeutic for their youngest member, who was now sitting on the floor doting on him. Seven would bet Yoosung only outweighed this dog by 40 pounds at most and that at least made him earnestly smile a tiny bit.

 

Everyone had good timing today. Before Zen could continue to be angry, Jumin and Jaehee came through the door and made their way over to the table. Jumin was the first to be taken aback by the stranger joining them. And his dog. _“Luciel, who is this and why is he here? This is a confidential RFA meeting.”_

 

Jaehee was next to ask her question. _“Where is Malaya? I’m sure she isn’t faring much better than we are…”_ She soon had her answer. A door behind the bakery area of the cafe opened and four people filed out; Mal, Michael, Fell, and Lily. They all took their places in the gathering, Mal standing next to Fang, resting a hand on her friend’s shoulder and giving Lazarus a quick pat before Saeyoung started.

 

“Alright, everyone, let’s get the annoying part out of the way. The members of the RFA are as follows,” he gestured to each of them in turn for the Sun members, “Yoosung Kim, Hyun Ryu or as he likes to be called Zen, Jumin Han, and Jaehee Kang. These other people here are for all intents and purposes Zifeara’s family. This is Kai Yorusutoka, he prefers Fang, Malaya Dara, Michael Todd, Fell Galloway, and Lily Harbinger. Everything that relates to Zifeara whatsoever can be shared with all the people and one dog in this room in the utmost confidence. Malaya?”

 

_“Fell, Lily and I have turned all three towns north of here inside out. There is absolutely no sign of Zifeara or Mint Eye-”_

 

Saeyoung cut her off before Zen could. The actor had opened his mouth and was clearly about to not be very nice with the question at the forefront of the entire RFA.

 

“Hey, Mal, that's great and whatnot, but I need to stop you. I was actually thinking you'd start with explaining who you all are? The rest of the RFA has no clue about you guys except for Jaehee. Kinda. And only you.”

 

Malaya glared at him. _“Is that necessary?”_ She looked around at the RFA members. _“They aren’t going to like it.”_ Saeyoung just nodded. _“Fine. I run the Sun Underground. Tahdah. Zifeara’s friend is a criminal. Back to the important bits. Saeyoung?”_ she said it fast and kind of mumbled before throwing the conversation back at the redhead.

 

He sighed. That wasn't really what he had meant. Saeyoung looked to Michael for help, hoping he had at least understood he had intended for an explanation as to _why_ they were all important to Zifeara and why they had to be included in this.

 

Michael rubbed his face. _“We’ve known Zifeara for several years now. The majority of her life really. She’s family and we will find her.”_

 

 _“Zifeara is practically my_ **_sister_ ** _.”_ Fang decided to finally contribute to the conversation. Out of all the people in the room, he looked probably the worst off next only to Malaya. _“We need to find her and the Sun Underground has more than the resources we need to do it. You people are only here out of courtesy.”_

 

 _“So either mnpfjdhz-”_ Michael put his hand over Mal’s mouth.

 

 _“Yeah, that's us. Fell and Lily work for me and Mal.”_ He shrugged.

 

 _“Hmm. As much as I would not wish to associate with such an organization, I suppose we do not have much choice. I presume due to the… nature of your_ **_business_ ** _, no one has to know about us being seen here. Alright. What is it we know?”_ Of course Jumin was the first to take this in stride. If you didn't know him the way the RFA did, you never would have detected the hint of disdain in his voice. But the RFA did know him. Far too well. Michael narrowed his eyes.

 

Saeyoung decided this was a good time to stop a potential cat fight. “Oookay. Yeah. We're all good here, is the point. Malaya, you may continue if you play nice. Er.”

 

_“Like I said, we tracked the vehicle that took Zifeara north and the three of us searched all three towns from top to bottom but there is no sign of her. We can't go farther out without permission which Michael is working on. In the meantime we are preparing to search the woodlands but we have no idea where to start. Do you?”_

 

“Currently I'm busy going through everything we have from the hacker again and trying to backtrack him, but he's been obnoxiously quiet as of late, so progress is slow. I have also been keeping up on my work for the agency that employs me lest I have some very scary people come looking for me, so that hasn't been helping either.” Saeyoung paused, letting that sink in a second before deciding how much the RFA really needed to know. “My best guess as to what's happening right now is that the hacker got impatient with whatever he was planning by sending Zifeara to Rika’s apartment and is now trying to get us worked up. He will likely at some point ‘accidentally’ let us know where he is in a way that puts us right where he wants us. Until he gives me something else… I don't have any idea where he is either.”

 

There was a pretty strong silence while the RFA collectively came to the realization that today would not end in a discussion of the plan for how to rescue their newest member. After around an hour of frustratingly unanswered questions, the RFA members departed, hoping the hacker would get back to work to find at least something worthwhile. Jumin had pointed out that nothing productive would be gained by any of them staying any longer and shooed the younger members out. That left Saeyoung to take a breath and recollect himself so he could work again. He knew this was all his fault, but having the other members point it out wasn’t doing him any favors. Sitting back down on the floor against the wall, he pulled at his hair, trying to distract himself from the neverending feeling of hopelessness that had been hanging around all day.

 

 _“We better get back to work.”_ Michael stood and motioned for Fell and Lily to follow him back downstairs, pulling Fang out of his chair on the way. _“Zifeara is an impatient brat, and I'll never hear the end of it if this lasts any longer.”_ They left quietly.

 

Mal sat down next to Saeyoung and poked him. _“Hey.”_

 

He made a grunting noise at her, not really ready to handle words yet. He still needed a second to convince himself not to lose it yet after having literally everyone else he liked yell at him today.

 

Malaya poked him again, more insistently. _“Hey, listen. It's not your fault.”_

 

“But it is, though! I was supposed to be watching her… I knew the hacker was up to something and I let her wander off like everything was fine. I didn’t even notice when she left at first, I had to go back and check the footage to find out! It took me almost an _hour_ to notice she wasn’t there… It’s completely my fault… I lost her.”

 

 _“No. You didn’t. First of all, you didn’t_ **_let_ ** _her wander away. She would’ve done that if you chained her to the basement and an anchor. Secondly, she knew the danger. That was her decision. She could’ve told you she was leaving. You have an overtime job and the Repulsive Flippant Assholes to cater to. Thirdly, she is going to be okay. It’s the kidnapper I’m worried about. Well...not worried. More like I'm worried there won't be enough of him left by the time we get there.”_

 

As much as he appreciated what Mal was doing, he knew he still should have paid more attention. Saeyoung _knew_ Zifeara liked to wander around when she wasn’t supposed to. That’s one of the things that got her into a lot of his shenanigans in the first place when they were kids. Yes, he couldn’t have kept her from doing it, but he could have tried. He could have stayed on the phone with her while she was out and maybe she wouldn’t have been out so long. Also, did these people not know what RFA stood for? Did he even mention it? He wasn’t sure at this point, but now he sort of didn’t want to bring it up, just to see how many acronyms there could possibly be for this.

 

“Thanks, Mal, but there were a lot of things I could have done considering. Just because Vanderwood is overbearing and was pressuring me to get my work done doesn’t mean I should have been so distracted. I mean, I haven’t been getting enough of my agency work done either… I’ve always been like that. I’m just not good at anything when Zifeara is around…”

 

_“There are a lot of what ifs. What if I had bugged her tablet instead of her phone? What if I had assigned her bodyguards? What if I had told her I knew where she was? What if I stopped her from joining your happy little gang from the beginning? Because you know, that wasn't at all suspicious. It doesn’t matter. It’s done. Now we find her and do better so it doesn’t happen again. Learn, Saeyoung. Don’t pout.”_

 

“I’d _be_ learning if that asshole would do something again. I’ve never seen a hacker on a skill level even close to mine like this before. It’s really, really infuriating. Especially thinking he’s just sitting around laughing and being quiet now that he has Zifeara. I mean, god knows what he can even get her to do much the less is actively doing. I mean, with as… much of a lovely ray of sunshine as she is, she’s probably in a dungeon. Where she won’t be able to bother him. So that he can get something done. It’s where she’d have to be for me to work around her, hahaha…”

 

_“Kind of defeats the purpose of kidnapping her doesn’t it? A lot of work for nothing but a trophy. Triple work.”_

 

“I guess, but think about it. _Look_ at her. Does she look like a pain in the ass right off the bat? If you didn’t know her? She used to pride herself on looking like the sweetest angel you’ve ever seen only to bite your fingers off the second you fucked with her. I _remember_ that. That’s… what kinda doomed Saeran and I in the first place, to be fair. The guy probably got lucky enough to get her to wherever they were and then that flipped her switch.”

 

_“Except now Zifeara saves the biting for the end when she knows she can get the whole hand. She’s going to bide her time, play nice. Trust me, Zifeara is the cunning, mean dragon. Not the damsel in distress.”_

 

She was right. If anything, Zifeara did know how to talk and trick her way out of pretty much any trouble she was ever in. It didn’t feel better to know this had still happened on his watch, but at least Mal could vouch for the fact she was very likely still okay. Saeyoung just hoped she wasn’t too uncomfortable. Thinking of her still fighting to keep herself alive in some dark, wet cell was almost as bad as her being gone in the first place. She had to know they were looking for her. Neither he nor Mal would stop.

 

“I suppose. It just… it hurts, you know? I haven’t been allowed to have people I care about for this very reason and the second she popped up again, it was like nothing had changed. She treated me like I was never gone. Like I never left her. It was… nice. And then I lose her in five days. I swear, when this is over… I’m going to have to do something to get out of the agency. I need to stick around for her after this.”

 

Malaya tilted her head. _“Well. We could always use a hacker. Just tell Michael where you work now. We’ll take care of it.”_

 

“Haha, yeah? I think I’ll have to do some planning before that could work, but… I’ll think about it. Besides, that’ll only happen if Kai doesn’t kill me first. He’s getting even more impatient than I am somehow.”

 

_“Eh, Michael took away his guns. That should give you a few spare seconds if he does snap.”_

 

“Then I suppose the question is: how good of an attack dog is Lazarus?”

 

_“Somewhere between marshmallow and hamster. Giant hamster.”_

 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was feeling a little better. That got Saeyoung to crack a smile.

 

Mal smiled. _“Better? Good. I was running out of pick-me-up speech and was about to faceplant into smacking you out of it.”_

 

“Well, I doubt it would do much if you did, but I’ll pass. Okay.”

 

He stood, brushing his pants off and straightening his glasses.

 

“Let’s go. We have work to do.”

 

***

 

Zifeara was in her room, doodling before bed. She was trying to make a horse, but the legs weren't coming out right. Granted, most of it didn't look amazing either, but she hadn't been seriously drawing for very long. She was only 15 for crying out loud. Her aunt had gone to bed already, but it was summer, so she could stay up as long as she wanted. She kept looking out the window at the house down the street, hoping to be lucky tonight. It was late and she was almost ready to call it quits when rustling in the other window caught her eye. Something was sitting on the sill now. Yes! It was a small stuffed rabbit, blue with floppy ears and a missing eye. She loved that rabbit. He lead her to her friends.

She hadn't changed into pajamas yet, so all she had to do was grab her go bag, raid the downstairs pantry a little bit, and put some shoes on before she was out of the house. Sneaking carefully down the street, Zifeara pressed herself under the sill with the bunny, making sure she wasn't seen. She reached up and lightly knocked on the window, just twice. She waited until she heard it slide open and someone fumbled with the grate covering it. She heard a soft whistle and pushed her bag up, waiting till it was pulled in to start climbing in herself. She took the hand that was offered to her and got in quickly. A little too quickly. The hand pulled too fast so she more fell into the tiny room, landing right on top of one of her friends. Saeyoung was always too impatient.

 

_“S-sorry, Zifeara. Um, are you okay?”_

 

He was grinning but his face was flushed, probably since she was right over him, but she wasn't going to mention it. Not at a time like this. They all spoke in hushed tones. The arm helping her up was more gentle, but just as sure.

 

 _“Good one, Saeyoung._ **_Are_ ** _you okay, Zifeara?”_

 

“Yeah, Saeran, I'm fine. I brought you guys a whole ton of stuff this time, look!”

 

With all three sitting in a circle, she open the bag she had brought and dumped all the snacks and candies out of it. Both boys oohed and ahhed and chose what they wanted right that moment, Saeyoung taking the rest and hiding it behind the loose board under his brother's bed before returning the window to its normal state. Their stockpile had almost run out, so she had to bring them more this time than she had last time. It might be a whole other week before she could come back again. They opened a bag of their favorite candy while they talked about what Zifeara had been drawing and what the other kids had been learning at school while each took their favorite flavor of treat. This bag only had three flavors and there were three of them, so it was perfect. Zifeara took all the blue raspberry ones, Saeyoung took the green apple ones, which left strawberry for Saeran. They had let him pick first, but everything worked out for all of them.

She was there a good while this time, but she knew she really had to go and the twins agreed. Saeyoung heard it just as he was about to take the screen off. The sound of the front door being opened. Their mother was back early.

 

_“Zifeara, we have to get you out!”_

 

_“No, we don't have time, quick, under Sae’s bed!”_

 

Zifeara moved herself and her bag as far under Saeyoung’s bed as she could go, making herself as small as possible in the enclosed space while he shut the window. Saeran hurriedly grabbed clothes from the floor and put them in front of her, trying his best to hide her incase their mother happened to look for any reason.

 

_“Saeran!”_

 

Saeyoung knew their mother could burst in at any minute. He had just taken his glasses off and jumped into bed, pushing his brother away from their fugitive and towards his own, urging him to pretend to be asleep. Zifeara could still see the younger twin from where she was and he was still looking at her once he was in bed, managing to give some small reassurance though he was clearly terrified of her being found. The three waited as they could hear things banging about and heavy footsteps moving around before things were quiet. Then the footsteps started rushing down the hall. Saeran shut his eyes.

Mrs. Choi threw open the door, moving to stand in between the two beds, glaring at her children, daring them to be awake. It was like she knew. She was waiting, looking around the room, listening for anything to be amiss. Zifeara had a hand over her mouth and was regulating her breathing, not making even half a sound. She must look like a trapped rabbit herself. The woman hunched slightly and Zifeara swore if she looked under Saeyoung’s bed… Saeran must have noticed it too. He coughed. She grabbed Saeran, shaking him slightly.

 

_“Are you getting sick again, you little shit?”_

 

_“N-no, mother. Honest.”_

 

_“You better not be! Last time you kept me up all night with that insipid cough of yours! You get sick, I'm putting you in the kitchen again, you hear me?”_

 

_“Yes, mother! I'll be good.”_

 

She brought her hand across the boy’s face and dropped him back onto the bed, stomping out of the room and slamming the door, moving into a different room and slamming that door too. Saeran lay back down, eyes back to the girl under his brother's bed, but now he was smiling softly. The trio waited silently till they heard the loud snoring that meant they were as safe as they were going to get.

 

_“Zifeara! C’mon, you have to get out!”_

 

Saeyoung slipped out of bed and started working on the window screen again while Saeran helped her back out from under the bed. His eyes were huge and worried though he was still smiling, quietly willing his brother to move faster. He hadn't let go of her arm since he had taken it to pull her up and she could feel him shaking. Zifeara gently took Saeran’s chin, turning his head to better see the red mark blooming across his face.

 

“Saeran, why would you do that? You knew she would be mad.”

 

He sighed softly, eyes still on her though his face was turned.

 

_“She was going to look and I couldn't let her find you. If Saeyoung had done it, she'd be too close to you. I had to.”_

 

Letting go of his jaw, she moved that hand to his cheek, softly running her thumb over his new battle wound and ignoring the color now creeping into his entire face. His smile was shy and slightly lopsided now and he had just barely the beginning of a tear in his eye. It must hurt. She wiped it away before Saeyoung told her to move. Saeran was about to say something else, but stopped dead when Zifeara pressed a light kiss to his mark before taking Saeyoung’s hand so he could boost her out the window.

  


Saeran didn't move the entire time his brother put the window back to how it should be. He couldn't. Once Saeyoung was done, he laughed softly and gently shook his sibling back to reality.

 

_“You gonna be ok? Look at you, doing brave things for girls. No fair, I'm supposed to be the older one!”_

 

“You pulled her in like that on purpose, I saw you do it.”

 

_“I- no, you're just- imagining things.”_

 

“You know something, Sae?”

 

_“What?”_

 

“When we get out of here and we can live our own lives… I'm gonna fight you for her.”

 

_“Hahaha, I've always known that. I won't go easy just because you're my brother. Besides, how could I not win with these looks?”_

 

“We're _twins_ , you idiot.”

 

***

 

Stepping into the small general store, Saeran looked around for where they kept all of the candy. Smaller things were easier to bring back to Magenta without anyone seeing them and were one of the only things that truly made him happy. At least for a little while. Grabbing a few of his favorites, he sighed, locating all of the art supplies. It might keep her away from him for the rest of the day. He got an entire stack of blank paper, 100 sheets, and a set of markers that had the basic rainbow of colors plus black and brown. There was no room for complaining.

Shoving everything into his backpack after paying the clerk and not wishing him a good day, he got back on his motorcycle to start the journey back. He was already much calmer and more stable, though also more confused. This morning he had been thinking an awful lot about his assistant, and he still hadn't gotten her out of his head. If anything, he had let her in and now she wouldn't leave. The worst part was that he didn't know if he even _wanted_ her to leave at all. Maybe she wasn't lying when she had said she knew him. It would make sense, especially because he had not only started to grow somewhat fond of the wretched woman, but he had felt _bad_ about simply putting her in her place earlier when she had been asking too many questions. He had told her he would not hesitate to do so. Was that why was this so hard now? He should talk to the Savior soon about why he was feeling this way. There had to be a good reason he felt bad for doing to her what had been done to him to keep him in line. A reason why he couldn't focus when he heard her sing to herself, couldn't stop his heart from pounding when she smiled, couldn't keep his eyes off her when she walked. There had to be something he could do to stop her from distracting him so much…

  


Saeran had been gone for several hours and Zifeara was starting to get worried. She knew he was going to a town, but still. Did it always take this long? In the state he was in, she was more concerned about whether he he'd made it there or not, if he was ok, if something had happened to him on the way back. She was assuming he was fine, but drawing was only producing unhappy creatures. She was good at channeling her bad energy into some pretty gruesome things, so today was all bone animals and mutants. She wasn't sure when that switched over to drawing Saeran, but somewhere along the line she did and she had a whole page of rough sketches of him. Him asleep at his desk, him laying upside-down on the couch in the office with his tongue out looking annoyed, him with all sorts of facial expressions, him without his shirt… Oops. That last one she didn't want to show him. He was giving a pout worthy of a magazine model and had a towel in his hand, like he had just gotten out of the shower. He did look really hot though…

Starting a new document, she drew Saeran without his shirt again, this time from behind. She tried to remember where all of his scars were, drawing them all in as much detail as she could piece together. She solidified the outline, but stopped before coloring anything. She had an idea. Looking at her picture this way and that, she drew strategic dots on the ends of his scars, ghosting lines between them to make sure it all straightened up correctly. Once satisfied at their placement, she cleaned up the scaffolding and was just about to color when she heard the door. Zifeara quickly saved the document again and turned her tablet off. She did _not_ want him to see this yet.

Saeran came in and roughly shut the door. He still looked just as tired as this morning, but much calmer. Zifeara stood up to say hello to him and back up if she needed to, but he froze the second he looked at her. It was only for a moment before he averted his gaze to the ground, moving to sit on the bed. He dropped his bag and rustled around in it a moment.

 

_“Come here.”_

 

His tone was still gruff as always, but there was something else there. She hesitated, now wary of his intentions. Zifeara hadn't thought Saeran had it in him to actually hurt her, but she'd been proven wrong once already today. Still not looking at her, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

 

_“Zifeara. Come. Here.”_

 

Now the something else took over; he was less irritable and more… anxious. Saeran being nervous didn't make her feel much better about anything, but there was really nothing to be gained by avoiding him now. She slowly moved around the bed a few inches away, far enough that he couldn't reach her without giving enough warning to counter him this time. He noticed she had stopped and refused to move again, so he finally looked up. The expression on Saeran’s face would have made you think he had just been scolded for sneaking in cookies before dinner. He looked like a child again. A very guilty child. He kept not focusing on her eyes and darting a look to the cheek she knew was slightly bruised. The illusion only strengthened when he reached out an arm, palm upturned, less demanding and more begging Zifeara to allow him close again. He hadn't apologized for hitting her, but she had a feeling he never would; not out loud.

She was hesitant again, only for an instant before putting her hand in his. She hadn't thought Saeran could _do_ gentle, but it looked as though she was wrong twice today. She wouldn't have described the way he took her hand as ‘tenderly’, but it was definitely more softly than anything else he had consciously done before. He pulled her closer, making her stand right in front of him.

 

_“Sit.”_

 

Zifeara moved to sit next to him on the bed, but half way down he grabbed her waist and moved her over, making her sit in his lap. She was about to protest, to stand right back up, but all of her joints just stopped working. What the Hell was going on? Saeran had never been like this the entire time she'd been here, not even close. Something monumental must have happened this morning for him to have such a shift in character. It didn't get any less strange; as the heat visibly crept into her face, Saeran did that thing again. That thing she had always know as unique to him. He tilted; as though wondering if what he was doing was an acceptable form of apology in itself. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the answer was starting to be yes. Was this how he would have been if they weren't currently in some sort of insane cult?

Now that he was looking slightly down at her, his eyes twitched and looked as though he were reading her features, moving rapidly across her face. Zifeara was fairly certain Saeran hadn't realized he reached a hand up to touch the bruise on her face, gently running his thumb back and forth over it as she had done to him so many years ago. Was… was he starting to remember? Did he recognize her now? She had just been thinking this morning of how much the mark on her face resembled the one on his own that night when she went to look at the damage in the bathroom.  She had no idea of how long they sat like this; him silently and softly trying to rub away the mistake he left that morning while searching for the answer to an unspoken question, her not daring to break whatever spell he was under to turn him back into the wonderful boy she knew so long ago.

  


He was bad. He knew he was. Zifeara was good. Of that he was now certain. But good things did not happen to him. Only awful things. Why he had spent most of the ride back to Magenta thinking about how he was going to make this up to her he had no clue. No one had ever apologized to him when they had hit him. As far as he could remember, no one had ever apologized to him for anything. How did people comfort each other? The only times anyone had done anything of the sort for him was when the Savior would put themself in his lap and stroke his hair. And that was only after the first few times he had been called into their room for purposes very not related to work. Technically he had punished Zifeara for being a general nuisance while he was very unhappy and that was also unrelated to work. So this was a similar situation, right? Sort of. Sure. Why did he even care?

She was looking at him as though she were a puppy he had kicked; wary, worried, but… still wanting to trust. How did she even _do_ that? Had he ever looked like that? God he hoped not. It was pathetic… and really, really upsetting. Zifeara had been so unapologetically brazen this entire time no matter what he had done to try to dissuade her from being so… her. Now that she was more subdued and even feared him as he had expected her to from the beginning, Saeran missed how much of a pain she usually was. She was so much more… attractive when she was comfortably sitting around or confidently working on something. Fear did not look good on her. As it turns out, this was not what he had wanted.

At least she was listening again. She took his hand and allowed herself to brought to him, caution still apparent in her demeanor. He knew when he told her to sit down, she wouldn't think to place herself where he actually wanted her. He had expected her to fight him on being in such a position, to stand back up or push herself away, but Zifeara simply froze. She was… blushing. So she enjoyed this? This was an acceptable way to rectify his earlier actions? The red looked so pretty on her face… but the purple did not. The purple belonged in her entrancing eyes, not spread across her fair complexion. Saeran wasn't sure when he had brought a hand to her cheek to feel over the stain, but he had a feeling he couldn't describe building inside him. The way she was looking at him… she felt so familiar but so foreign all at once.

He had intended to run his hand over her hair, at least attempting the ‘remorse’ thing, but that hand was now on the small of her back. Something was nagging at his mind. He'd definitely been here before. Not here exactly, obviously, but this thing he was doing right now, he had done before. Why couldn't he remember? He wanted something else. Something came after this. Something… good? This was unlike any time he had been with the Savior. They did not wait, they were not soft, they did not blindly trust, they were not… vulnerable. The Savior never looked at him like this. Zifeara had never looked at him like this before. Like what? _What is she doing to you?_

  


Saeran finally realized what he was doing. He jerked his hand away from her face as though she had shocked him, eyes widening and face flushing to rival her own. He didn't move her off, but instead started to pick her up. They were going somewhere and this was about where Zifeara drew the line; him reaching under her for anything.

 

“H-hey, what do you think you're-”

 

_“I'm tired. We're taking today off and going back to sleep.”_

 

The _we_ aspect of this caught her attention as Saeran lifted her up only enough to move her properly onto the bed. She was about 3 seconds away from hitting him back. They never made the bed, so it was easy for him to set her down and pull the comforter up, wrapping it around them both. He ran an arm around her back, pulling her to his chest and the other under his pillow, resting his head over hers. He must have taken everything that just happened as a sign of acceptance for him touching her. Once she recovered from the shock of Saeran’s bold actions, she made a noise of annoyance.

 

_“What?”_

 

His irritable nature returned even though his face was probably as red as his hair used to be. Zifeara had a choice to make now. She wasn't 100% thrilled with the fact that her heart was beating faster than her brain was thinking.

 

“I need to turn over.”

 

_“Why, because I'm-”_

 

He pulled her back a little to glare, but stopped when she pointed at her face. She was laying on the still sensitive side. He eyed her accusingly, but his tone was more hurt than annoyed.

 

_“... Are you going to try to get up?”_

 

She sighed, thinking on how she should seriously consider it.

 

“...No.”

 

Saeran hesitated a few seconds before raising his arm, allowing her to turn over onto her other side. Once she settled back down, Zifeara didn't give him the chance to still be in charge anymore. She pressed herself against him, feeling his breath catch for just a moment before his arm wrapped back around her waist. He liked her. She had won him over in just under 2 weeks. Granted all of his emotions were mixed together in a giant tangle coated in psychosis, but this was closer to the Saeran Choi that had been her best friend during their childhood. This was the one she liked much better than angry, yelling, disgruntled Saeran. Cuddly was far preferable to lashing out, though she wouldn't have made it to the former without the latter. She just hoped he didn't think about combining the two...

 

***

 

Two and a half weeks didn't seem like a long time, but that was all it took for everything to change. Technically it was only about a week and a half, but in one week more, everything was set in stone. Ever since Zifeara had allowed Saeran to touch her, everything was different. He was just as grumpy as always, just as snippy and snarky, but now he was also far more protective over her, practically growling anytime the other disciples so much as looked at her when they went to get their meals. During the day, all was as it had always been, he worked, she drew, sometimes she worked too. At night he was a different person. He could barely stand to be more than an arm's length away at any given time. He was starting to get demanding about it, too. Saeran had learned better than to simply grab her by now, that had not gone over well the first few times he'd done it; instead Zifeara had taught him that she would usually do what he wanted if he simply asked. Or came as close to asking as she could get him. As soon as they were in for the night, he would sit on the bed and open his arms, silently commanding her to sit in between his legs while he either read or watched her draw.

This proved to be the best time of day, especially since after his little meltdown she had sent him off to work with her yPod in hand, telling him simply to hit the play button. She had set it to the playlist she saved for times when she was less than happy since he knew English just like she did. He was cautious at first, but ultimately curious and had asked her what in the Hell a ‘Metallica’ was, but later came back asking if there really was a saint dedicated to anger, at which she laughed pretty hard. He was hooked. Now when they sat together at night, each of them took an ear bud and listened to music as well. When they were both in the office, he played it out loud. Between the music and the cuddles, he was really starting to be almost normal. The only thing that wasn't normal was how anxious he seemed to be getting in the morning when he handed her another pill she wasn't going to let sink in. She had asked about it once, but he made it clear she wasn't going to get an answer.

Now as they completed their normal bedtime routine: brushing their teeth, settling into bed, feeling Saeran wrap his arms around her and pull her as close as physically possible, Zifeara actually felt almost comfortable here. She hadn't wanted to be optimistic about being stuck in a cult, but things were going pretty ok considering. Had she been kidnapped by anyone else and this surely would have ended very differently. That being said, she knew this was still going to end poorly for whoever was the leader of this damned place; the so-called Savior. They were in for Hell with how long she'd been missing. Her Family was not forgiving when you messed with one of their own.

Saeran sighed into her hair, snapping Zifeara out of her wandering thoughts. He had his face pressed to the back of her head as per usual since she almost never slept facing towards him.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

He made what she had come to know as a questioning grunt.

 

“Do you… do you still not remember me at all?”

 

He was quiet and still, making her really wonder if the answer was still no. Saeran had been awfully… friendly to not at least sort of remember something about her. He spoke just as she was about to see if he had fallen asleep considering his answer.

 

_“I don't know. Some things about you are so… familiar. The color of your eyes… the feel of your hair… the way you smell… You have this horrible way of comforting me that I don't understand. You shouldn't be able to do what you do to me.”_

 

He squeezed a little tighter, but she simply giggled softly. He made that questioning noise again, this time slightly more irritated.

 

“Maybe if I tell you why that is, you'll remember. Probably about… 10 years ago, Saeyoung snuck you out of the house and into church with us. He knew your mother would be gone all day, so we could play without worrying. We had so much fun exploring the woods behind the church and near our houses, loving being normal children for once. It was great... until we lost you. Sae and I couldn't figure out where you'd gone, so we looked everywhere we'd been, calling for you and generally worrying ourselves to death. I found you first. You were sitting in a hollow tree, curled into a ball, crying. You were starting to have a panic attack. You had lost sight of us both at some point and it scared you. So I curled up in there with you, wrapped my whole body around you and…”

 

Zifeara stopped, feeling all the emotion come surging back, sticking in her throat.

 

_“And?”_

 

He was right next to her ear. It would seem they had traded places; Saeran couldn't be any closer if he tried. She didn't really want to tell him how the rest of that day had gone, most likely because if she told him she sang, he'd make her do that all the time, too.

 

“...And I held you like I'd never let go. Back then I didn't really want to either, but then again, I didn't get to see you very often.”

 

He was quiet again, but the silence was soon replaced with the sound of her heart pounding. He was close as it was, but Saeran tilted his head down a little to bury his face in her neck, an innocent gesture on his part, but it was having unexpected consequences. Now when he spoke, Zifeara could feel his breath tickling her skin.

 

_“What about now?”_

 

He once again squeezed, this time only briefly to emphasize his point. He was putting her in a tight spot. They weren't kids anymore and he had bloody kidnapped her. She had been doing well so far on hiding how attractive she found him and what he was doing to her when he did things like this. She was so close to losing that. _Did_ he actually know what he was doing? Did he really know who she was?

 

“Saeran, I… I-”

 

The thunder made them both jump, sitting straight up at the noise. The pounding rain followed, making Zifeara happily gasp. When he looked at her inquisitively, her face lit up then fell.

 

“I love the rain! I… I wish you had a window in here…”

 

Saeran searched her face for a moment before getting out of bed and standing over her.

 

_“You didn't answer my question. Would you leave me now?”_

 

Her eyes were wide as she wondered why he could possibly be asking this now. Even if she could leave, she wanted to get him out of here too. He didn't belong in this wretched place anymore than she did.

 

“...No. I missed you, Saeran. I… missed you a lot.”

 

Staring at her a moment more and tilting as he usually did, his confident attitude was not masking the blush forming at her words. He held his arm out, clearly meaning for her to get up. Zifeara took it and he pulled her out of bed. He put his jacket on and led her to the door, looking down the long hallway and listening before taking her hand and guiding her to the very end of it; to a door she had never even seen before. Upon unlocking this door, he looked behind them again before opening it, quickly pulling them both through it. Pulling them into the pouring rain outside. She gasped as the water hit her, not getting to revel in the cool rain before Saeran made her run, hustling them across an expanse of grass and under a large willow tree. Zifeara looked up through the branches, a few drops of water making their way through and hitting her face. She laughed, ecstatic at how refreshing the water felt on her skin and wonderful it smelled. She hadn't even noticed when Saeran unwillingly let go of her hand so she could spin around, still giggling like a maniac over how nice it was to be outside in her favorite weather. When she did notice the vice grip on her hand was missing, she turned to look at him, his back pressed to the trunk of the tree and giving a worried half smile. That's why he had asked if she would leave. He literally asked if she would try to run if he let her outside. He was really cute when he smiled like that. She gave her companion a blinding grin before walking out from under the tree, arms spread, letting the rain soak into her skin and clothes. She splashed in a few of the rapidly forming puddles too, trying not to be too loud just in case someone in the hideous Mint Eye building heard her. Saeran would probably be in a lot of trouble for doing this. Speaking of…

He was still near the tree, seemingly enjoying watching her play around a little too much. He was too dry. Zifeara ducked back under the low hanging branches, hair a wet mess and hanging in her eyes a little. She hadn't stopped giggling since they had come out here and now Saeran was shaking his head at her. But he was still smiling. At least he was till she tackled him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her wet head in the crook of his neck.

 

_“Zifeara, no! Ugh, stop-no-no, no! Goddamnit, now I'm really wet! I do something nice for you and look how you-”_

 

He didn't get to finish his complaint before she backed up a little, just enough to give him a light peck on the cheek. He couldn't hide the shudder that rippled through his entire body.

 

“Thank you. I mean it, you… you really had to trust me to let me out here, Saeran. I'm happy you did.”

 

Saeran silently yanked her off him, making her tense, but then pulled her backwards with him right up to the tree trunk and down to the ground as he sat. Down into his lap as he unzipped his jacket and wrapped it and his arms around her, hiding where she couldn't see him. They sat outside until the rain stopped, probably for a good hour.

 

_“Why did you do that?”_

 

She couldn't look at him, but he sounded upset.

 

“D-do what, Saeran?”

 

_“... K-kiss me?”_

 

Zifeara could barely hear him whispering over the dwindling rain. She really hoped he wasn't as unhappy as he sounded.

 

“Because this has been the nicest thing you've done for me since you brought me here?”

 

_“No… not right now… Nine years ago.”_

 

She turned to look at him as much as she could, the expression on his face somewhere in the hazy vicinity of upset, confused, and embarrassed.

 

“Saeran… you?”

 

_“Only a little. Just… a little. You… you weren't lying. Why? Did… did you ever… did you ever kiss Saeyoung too?”_

 

Now he was bordering closer to upset. She hadn't lied to him yet and she wasn't about to start.

 

“Only once by accident. He and I were at church and were playing. We had climbed a tree and were coming back down. I was scared to jump all the way to the ground like he had, so he promised to catch me. He did, but dropped me a little, knocking our heads together and… we accidentally kissed. I think he did it on purpose because he laughed a lot, so…”

 

Saeran looked like he was going to cry, but Zifeara wasn't done yet.

 

“So I hit him. Not hard, but solidly enough so that he didn't look at me for about a week. I take it he didn't tell you. You I… you I kissed on purpose though. That was an extremely brave thing you did for me and I couldn't start to make it up to you. I just kept coming back, bringing you food and keeping you company whenever I could.”

 

She was leaning into him now and he was back to almost whispering.

 

_“Would you do it again?”_

 

“What?”

 

_“Right now… would you… let me…”_

 

Zifeara knew what he was asking, but couldn’t respond. She was lightheaded and was starting to breathe a little too fast. This was not a situation she had expected to be in. Ever. She could feel that he was on just the very edge of sanity, his breathing also too fast, his voice too shaky, his arms unsteady. She slowed herself down, trying to become more relaxed for his sake.

 

“Saeran, shhhhh. Calm down, you're getting too worked up. Here, follow my breathing so you can get steady enough to get inside, ok?”

 

She felt him nod as he did what she asked, eventually putting that emotional wall back up and silently leading her back to their room. They both took quick showers before getting back into bed, putting any further discussion off til morning.

  


That morning was the second time since being here that Saeran had forgotten to bring her whatever pill she was supposedly taking. The only other time had been the same morning he’d hit her. She noticed that throughout the day he was testier than usual, meaning she worked quietly until he had said something to himself about one of the RFA members. He was skimming through information on each of the members, sorting it into folders.

 

_“Pfft. Hyun Ryu; shameless narcissist and self proclaimed lady killer.”_

 

“He’s also quite caring and loyal; protective to a fault.”

 

Saeran turned to glare at her and she met his eyes, completely nonplused as per usual by the look he was giving her. He turned back around.

 

_“Yoosung Kim. Gaming addict and general waste of space.”_

 

“Sweet as the sun is hot and has a nearly infallible aura of cheer surrounding him. Fantastically supportive and a wonderful friend. Wants to be a vet. Has no experience with girls and will become overly flustered when teased by one. It’s really cute.”

 

A general sound of displeased annoyance.

 

_“Jaehee Kang. Assistant to the CEO of C &R, primp and proper.” _

 

“Works herself to death because she doesn’t know how to do anything else with her life. Is desperate to prove herself, can have a sense of humor when Jumin isn’t around, will not admit how infatuated with Zen she is because she’s scared having a relationship will ruin him.”

 

A hard sigh and a bumping of something on his desk.

 

_“Jumin Han. Pompous, rich, and obsessed with his cat. An automaton masquerading as a human being.”_

 

“Has emotional dependence issues. Dotes on Elizabeth because she can’t betray him the way a human can. Can actually be rather considerate and thoughtful if you know how to get on his actual good side and don’t just suck up to him. Has an interesting sense of humor, but he tires. Can be counted on as a loyal friend.”

 

She was pretty sure he had just picked up his keyboard and slammed it down again. There was a pause.

 

_“S-Saeyoung Choi. Vilest betrayer of trust, horrible brother, excruciatingly miserable liar.”_

 

“...Unwillingly left his brother under the pretense of being able to make a better life for him. Daft sense of humor acting as a facade for how truly miserable he really is; lost his brother, worried about having a real life because of his job, unable to make a real connection with anyone. Desperately searching for his childhood friend because she's been kidnapped by someone he doesn't know and he thinks she's at best scared at worst… dead. Saeyoung has always been so nice to me, even though he was a little shit.”

 

He stood up quickly, so fast his chair nearly toppled and slammed his fists on his desk. If he started to come over here, they were going to have a problem. Instead Saeran hunched over, trying to steady himself. He was pissed, but they’d already been through this once before; he really didn’t want to hurt her. She thought he had been through all of the RFA members, but she was wrong.

 

_“Zifeara Nightshade… Internet artist, inherited a massive fortune after her only living family passed, has… too much personality for her own good.”_

 

She considered this a moment. She had said something nice about all the other RFA members because he had said something ignorant. What he had said about her were simply facts.

 

“Was left mostly alone after the passing of her aunt, who had taken her in after her parents had already gone. Has only two people she trusts and talks to. Spends time not drawing playing an online videogame so she can have friends she doesn’t have to be too involved with. Had assault charges mysteriously dropped against her last boyfriend because he tried to blame the vase being broken over his head on her when it was him who decided that his girlfriend couldn't so much as hang out with other guys or he'd try to beat her to a pulp. Knows an awful lot more forms of selfdefense and martial arts than most people realize. Has gotten into the dangerous habit of trying to make her life more interesting the past few years. Followed some stranger to an apartment as part of aforementioned thrill-seeking behavior, ending up in her getting kidnapped and taken to some insane cult to be held at the mercy of her long lost childhood friend.”

 

He was quiet again, still standing but anger subsiding. These were things he wouldn’t know by simply looking through her file. These were things that either got covered up or were never written down to begin with. Saeran was turning out to be full of surprises today.

 

_“Went to church as a kid though she didn’t believe a word of it. Kept going back to see two twin brothers, one more often than the other because the younger twin was sick and couldn’t sneak out. Ended up becoming one of only two lifelines the younger twin had, bringing him food when his own mother denied him even that. Put herself in danger just to see them. Always the smartest person in the room, either by technical knowledge or in the sense that she’s a smart-ass, whichever works for her. Things always work for her. Managed to turn a kidnapping into a vacation. Has her new boss seriously wondering what he’s gotten himself into…”_

 

Zifeara was pretty sure that was the nicest thing he had said to her since she had gotten here. The only thing she could think of nicer than that in the entire time she’d know him, in fact, was the time as teenagers she thought he had tried to tell her she was pretty. He hadn’t gotten it all out, though, so she couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t done yet either. He sighed and shuddered slightly.

 

_“Saeran Choi. Was born bad. Didn’t receive or deserve a normal childhood. Was abandoned by his own brother so that one of them could have a normal life while the other suffered worse than he thought possible. Was rescued by our Savior and has been working so hard to bring about the Paradise as foreseen, earning a better life for everyone. Does… Doesn’t deserve…”_

 

She couldn’t quiet tell what he had said at the end of his sentence, but she was really hoping it wasn’t what she thought he said. It sounded an awful lot like ‘doesn’t deserve his assistant’. If that was what Saeran said, she was worried about what exactly he had meant by that.

 

“Used to be one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Used to be so gentle and caring and worried over me even though his own life was far worse. Used to genuinely…”

 

Oh shit. She was about to say ‘love me’. She did _not_ want to go down that road right now, not with how things had been going lately. Besides, Saeran had only ever had at best a childhood crush on the only girl he had ever known. So did Saeyoung for that matter.

 

“Genuinely like me. Used to like being around me.”

 

_“... Still does.”_

 

“Isn’t bad.”

 

_“Thinks his assistant is full of shit.”_

 

“Is wrong.”

 

_“Is… worried.”_

 

“Should tell his _friend_ what’s wrong.”

 

_“Doesn’t… have friends. Has an assistant. A problematic assistant.”_

 

“Is more full of shit than his ‘assistant’.”

 

Now he turned to look at her, clearly frustrated by their conversation, but still upset, like she had said something that cut him deep.

 

_“Can’t tell his assistant. Needs to talk to the Savior first. Might… get in trouble.”_

 

“Should trust his assistant more since he’s starting to remember who she is. Should see that she hasn’t changed and is still his friend and wants to help.”

 

Saeran grabbed her shoulders, pulling her closer so that their faces were barely a few inches apart. Zifeara was worried he had lost himself again, but he still didn’t look mad.

 

 _“Will get his assistant taken away if he gets in too much trouble! Zifeara, no one else can have you, you’re_ **_mine_ ** _. I worked hard to get you here and if the Savior decides to take you from me, I-”_

 

He roughly pushed her towards the door, following after to open it and subsequently the door to their room, not getting the chance to shove her in before she hurried in herself.

 

_“You’re done for the day. I’ll come get you for dinner.”_

 

He slammed the door, leaving Zifeara to her own devices for a few hours. Luckily all of her paper and markers were still in here. This was the kind of situation she had wanted them for.

  


This was bad. He was bad. He wanted to be so much worse. He couldn’t kick himself enough for wishing Zifeara had said that he used to love her. Then maybe he wouldn’t think he was losing what little of his mind he had left. He couldn’t love her. This wasn’t real. He had never loved anyone. Love was a useless emotion that only lead to pain far worse than anything physical he had ever experienced. Love was a lie. This wasn’t what he was feeling. Saeran could think of only one other thing similar to this and it was something he was certain he would be in trouble for. Something he had only known the Savior to indulge in. Something they had taught him. Something he very badly wanted.

He made his way very quickly to the Savior’s room to ask his question and most certainly be punished for it. No matter what his punishment for this would be, he had to know if he was allowed to take such a luxury. If he did it anyway and the Savior found out, they'd surely take his assistant away... He almost knocked before he saw the plaque hanging over the knob; a closed eye. The Savior was not here right now. Damn it. He looked at the box on the wall by their door and removed a slip of paper and a pen from the holder next to the box. He wrote his name on the paper and placed it in the slot in the box, grumbling back down the hallway. Who knew when the Savior would call for him, but he hoped it was soon. He was also debating going back to sleeping in his office for the time being. He didn’t know if he would be able to look at Zifeara for the rest of the day…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying this as much as I am! I don't know when it happened, but Saeran usurped Yoosung as my favorite and I still have so many chapters done for him already...


	5. Tainted Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Seven starts to break apart back home, Saeran is starting to find that Zifeara has more and more hobbies he can't resist picking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit on the shorter side, but that's because next chapter is when things start getting ugly... Have fun!

If he didn’t hurry, there would be no dinner tonight at all. He had lost track of time since he was trying to focus more on work than on the 120 pounds of undeniable temptation in the other room. Instead of getting Zifeara like he had said, he simply went to go get food that he could throw at her so he could eat in his office and ignore her for the rest of the night. He did feel a little tiny fraction of guilt for how sharp he had been with her earlier after having her say only nice things about him, but ultimately he was doing this for both their sakes. If he had another panic attack with her around, he could ruin everything. She might stop letting him touch her entirely if he lashed out at her again… She was sitting on the bed when he opened the door, but so were about two dozen tiny colorful… things. 

 

_ “Hey, Saeran. Time for dinner already?” _

 

Zifeara didn’t look at him, instead opting to color whatever it was she was holding in her hand. She had her headphones in and was bobbing her head slightly to whatever she was listening to. He closed the door and set the food on his desk, moving to inspect the nearest whatevers that were all over his bed. He picked up an orange one and upon closer inspection discovered it to be a tiger. A little paper tiger. 

 

_ “It’s origami. I have 21 different animals right now and there are only… 6 more I can make? I think… unless I remember how to do a giraffe still, but that one was hard.” _

 

He was staring from all the little animals to her and she simply smiled, clearly stifling a giggle. 

 

“What? What’s so funny?”

 

_ “Nothing, Saeran. Do you want me to teach you?” _

 

Before he could tell her that he’d rather shove this little paper tiger up his nose than learn how to make one, she shuffled her new friends out of the way and grabbed two more sheets of paper from her blank pile and grinned up at him. He was still not great at saying no to her when he really wanted to. He sat down, grumbling about her stupid paper animals with their stupid faces and their stupid tiny legs. 

 

_ “Ok, We’ll do an easy one first. Frogs are, like, the easiest thing I can make.” _

 

***

 

Three weeks. Zifeara had been gone for three weeks now and everyone was feeling it. It was hard to tell which of the three were doing worse right now; Saeyoung with his clear lack of sleep and overworked eyes, Kai with his lack of appetite and continued nightmares, or Mal with all that and more. Malaya was a pretty safe bet considering any time anyone talked to her and it wasn’t good news… which was all the time, she basically bit their head off. Saeyoung was a solid second seeing as how he didn’t talk to anyone, at least not in only one language at a time anymore, and Kai just didn’t talk period. He only made noises now. As a matter of fact, his dog was more vocal than he was. All three were working as hard as their individual skills allowed. Unfortunately, that was also why Kai wasn’t talking. His skill was more in programming and building gadgets, neither of which was very helpful right now. His feeling of uselessness translated into haunting the cafe. 

Saeyoung was pulling ridiculous hours doing agency work and making sure the bits of that he did complete got to Vanderwood without himself being found. As if that wasn’t hard enough, he was also scanning satellite images of everything for miles around, looking for some sign of some magical place not on a map; anywhere that could  _ possibly _ be where they had taken Zifeara. That and having Fang help him do it was at least something. It was weird that in order for them to finally get along, they both had to be dead inside, but it was working at least. Any strange blip they found they sent to Malaya, who was out in the forest and mountains with her people.

They personally investigated every single one he sent them, even if logically it was impossible to get to. The longer the search continued the less people Malaya had to work with as they were forced to return to their own duties. Zifeara was important but in the end, not much to the entire Underground as a whole, even if Malaya was their leader. Now it was just her, Lily, and Fell and she had stopped involving Michael. On the upside she was now far more civil with Saeyoung during their frequent communications, even going so far as occasionally trying to cheer  _ him  _ up. His phone made a noise.

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Those last coordinates are a bust. It's a ravine. A really really deep ravine.**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**God, okay. Try these ones next. This looks like a clearing, but it’s got a weird shape in it I can’t seem to place.**

 

He text her the new numbers and waited, rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses. This was the eighth spot in the last two days that turned up nothing. They had to be thorough. 

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Okay. Got them. Will take a bit to get there. I wasn’t joking about how deep this thing is. Kinda surprised I have signal.**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**Well let’s hope that isn’t the only good luck we have today. I’ll let you know if I find something else.**

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Ten-four.**

 

Saeyoung took his glasses all the way off and rubbed his eyes this time before looking at the clock. V would be here soon and the hacker honestly didn’t know what to do. He had very little new information to present the leader of the RFA about their newest and most important member, nor did he have the emotional capacity to even look at the other members right now. V had been keeping them away from him for the most part, mostly because nothing was getting done when all they did was yell at him or cry around him. He should be grateful, but he felt nothing. Just a burning in his eyes and a pounding in his skull. The ache in his heart he could push away. Most of the time. 

The cafe was deserted at the moment, most of the Sun members were on their own missions or downstairs. The only one here was their youngest member, watching the counter as always, but she was reading and had earphones in. She glanced at V when he came in and greeted him, but Saeyoung called the older man over and she nodded to him before returning to her book. Saeyoung was sitting at the table he’d now become all too familiar with, equipment everywhere and V simply moved a few things over and sat next to him. 

 

_ “Luciel.” _

 

He looked over at V, watching him remove his sunglasses and attempt to make eye contact. As much as he could for how little he could still see. 

 

“V… I- I don’t know what to do. We’re scanning images of everything in a 300 mile radius of this city, sometimes further than that if there’s a particularly decent area where something could be, we’re physically looking at  _ anything _ that seems suspicious, we’re… we’re… failing. We’re failing her.  _ I’m  _ failing her. V, I c-can’t…”

 

As much as he didn’t have left, now he had too much. For the first time in a few weeks, he just hurt. Everywhere. His eyes were watering and he just couldn’t. V reached out and found his shoulder, hearing the tremble in his voice.

 

_ “Luciel, you’re doing everything you can. I don’t know how much help I can be, but I can try. If I can do anything, please tell me. I’m so sorry…” _

 

He remembered Zifeara. How could he not? After all, she was important to the church in the sense that her Aunt was basically everyone’s mom. They all knew what she looked like and who she was. V knew she was important to everyone, but he also knew she was  _ everything _ to Saeyoung. To both the twins. V knew it broke Saeyoung’s heart to say goodbye. V pulled the redhead into a hug before he even realized he was crying. 

 

“V, I can’t! This  _ can’t _ be it! Sh-she, I j-just got her back! I  _ need _ to-to be better than this! She c-could- could be, could be dead V! I  _ couldn’t save her _ .”

 

_ “Luciel, don’t do that to yourself. I’m sure wherever she is, you will find her. Trust me, she’s alive. I can feel it. Don’t doubt yourself so much, you’re doing anything and everything you can. Shhh, it’s okay. It’ll be okay, Luciel.” _

 

As much as he wanted to get back to work, he needed this right now. He hadn’t cried like this since he left home. It was that ugly, wailing crying that only happens when you bottle things up for years, not daring to make a noise in case you let it loose.

  
  


V simply stayed still, stroking Seven’s hair and letting him get it out, that way maybe the younger man could tackle this with a new resolve. They had to find their missing member. She had gone missing not only under Saeyoung’s watch, but his as well. He was in charge of the RFA and it was his problem almost more than anyone else’s. He just wished he could devote more time to the RFA right now, but there was something going on with Rika and he wasn’t quite sure what it was yet. He had been in and out of the Mint Eye building several times now, but he could never seem to find the source of what was causing her agitation this time. The only hint he had was that it may be something to do with Saeran; he had seen her be short with the boy in a way he hadn’t seen in many years, only similar to when he was in one of his subtle rebellion phases. Granted those never amounted to much, but they did irk Rika. Saeran didn’t appear any different outwardly this time, so maybe something wasn’t going well with whatever it was she had him doing. One way or another, he was about to go back and comb through the building more carefully. There had to be something he was missing. Something the younger Choi was hiding.

  
  


Saeyoung took a good long time to calm down, but when he did, he was back to the emotionless wall he had been all week. He needed to be busy again. He showed V a large map of where they were looking, legitimately everywhere around the city, and that was really all he had to share before wishing the older man farewell. There had to be somewhere around here that just screamed ‘this is where we take kidnap victims’, he just had to find it. He scrolled through his text logs and pulled up one in particular, going back to some of the older ones from Zifeara.

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Sweetie, you can do it!**

 

Goddamn right he could. He had to. He looked back to the map, hoping today would be the last day he had to do this. The last day she had to be scared. Zifeara was alive and he was coming for her.

 

***

 

Three weeks. Saeran was getting good at origami. He made tiny paper creatures for her to color when he was getting frustrated with work to calm himself down. Saeran was getting more unstable. He made her  _ a lot _ of animals in only a few short days. They were running out of paper. Something was definitely going on with him and it wasn't something good anymore. The looks he gave her that she wasn’t supposed to notice were getting more and more frequent, his hands lingered longer than they should have during their usual cuddles, he was… almost apologetic about leaving her to go do things anymore. Zifeara figured one of two things was happening; Saeran was either developing a physical dependence to her or… or he was starting to think about something she really hoped he wasn’t. Kind of. Were they not in a cult she was trying to form a plan to get them out of, she wouldn’t have minded as much, but the situation wasn’t great and she clearly was going to have to help her Family find her. She had an idea, but conditions had to be exactly right for it to work. 

For now though, she was simply trying to sort through the massive mound of paperwork he had given her to deal with. She had her yPod plugged into his speakers and had chosen what she liked to call ‘technojazz’ on. Caravan Palace in particular provided a neat combination of upbeat jazz and more modern sounds that made her work faster, if not dance around the room while sorting through things. Moving her whole body to a rhythm was just one of the many things she didn’t think much about while working but did anyway. This kind of thing also reminded her of her late Aunt, who had taught her how to dance among other things. Aunt Hemlock always loved strange music and this was one of her favorite genres. Zifeara found herself going through familiar steps as she read something, either to figure out which folder it belonged in amidst the hundreds of them in the filing cabinets or to try and decipher what in the Hell Saeran had written on something. That boy actually did have the handwriting of a psychopath. Go figure. 

She really did miss dancing to this stuff though. Maybe if she ever made it back to the RFA and got to go to one of the parties, she’d insist on this as the music for the event. Granted, she’d more than likely have to provide dance lessons to those boys because she had a feeling they would have no idea what to do with swing jazz. Zifeara was actually wondering how many of them besides Jumin knew how to properly dance a waltz much the less anything else. Zen probably, decidedly not Yoosung. Saeyoung she could see either way, though she figured when it came to dancing, he was more inclined to the techno side. Man she really hoped she got to find out. 

After a couple of hours, she put the last file away, shoving the drawer closed with her hip. One of her favorite songs was on now and she moved Saeran’s computer chair out of the way so that she had enough room to actually dance to it. This one was pretty fast, so Zifeara almost worked up a sweat going through the motions she remembered her Aunt showing her so clearly in her mind. Just as she was doing the last turns at the end, she ran into something that shouldn’t have been there. Uh oh. Busted.

  
  


Saeran was busy tinkering with the security system, annoyed that this couldn’t be solved from the computer in his office. There was more than a programming error wrong with it this time. As irritating as having to deal with this himself was, it was decidedly a point of pride that the Savior trusted him alone to handle the security for the entire building. They had told him about this and informed him they were aware of his request to speak with them privately, an audience he was told he must wait two more days for. The past four days had already been stressful enough with his thoughts running wild and distracting him from the ever present pile of work to be done. He had been compiling information and waiting for the heat the email sent to the RFA had brought to Mint Eye to die down, enough so that he could enact the first phase of getting the rest of those idiots here. It was almost time, but not quite yet. 

For now though, it was definitely certain that his assistant had the absolute  _ worst _ timing in the world. She chose the day after he had found out he would not be seeing the Savior for an undetermined amount of time to pick up a vexing new habit; she now very much enjoyed  _ dancing _ around his office to some sort of odd music, swinging her deliciously wide hips around to the tempo, taking practiced steps in hypnotic time to the rhythm. He was damn near tempted to say fuck it to whatever the Savior told him right then and there. Instead he sated himself with just watching her; the crack in the door just big enough to see what in the world she was doing but thin enough that she didn’t notice since she was preoccupied. 

That had been a terrible mistake. The longer he watched her dance, he came to realize there was a very familiar sensation creeping up on him. One he had thought was impossible to just… happen. One that  _ hadn’t _ happened outside of being purposefully coaxed into it at the Savior’s bidding. One that he then had to go take a shower to deal with. One that he had been fighting with ever since. Putting a name to it had only made things so much worse, making him  _ painfully _ aware of just how much this one stupid, horrible, beautiful woman was ruining his life, all while making him feel things he never had before. This one named feeling kept him obnoxiously cleaner than he really thought he needed to be. One word, four letters, infinite problems:  _ Lust _ .

Now putting the cover back on the panel of wires, he punched the code in and the building’s security made the noise it should have, affirming that he had finally fixed the damned thing. He put all of the tools he had used back in the maintenance closet and headed back to his room, pausing to place his ear to the office door, listening for the tell-tale sounds of another impending shower. He had the worst luck. The sound of whatever nonsense this new music of hers was came fast, promising an excellent show. Saeran unlocked the door and turned the handle just enough to push it open, as he had become accustomed to doing the past few days, waiting to make sure he hadn’t been caught. Once no one yelled at him, he looked through the crack.

Zifeara had moved his chair over and was moving a very decisive circle around the open space, holding her arms strangely in front of her. He wasn’t familiar with how people danced in the slightest, but something about where her arms were and stayed seemed to suggest that… she should have had a partner? Ugh, girls were so sentimental. He had never seen her move this quickly though, usually she favored a much slower, swaying sort of pace. It was interesting at least to see her going so fast. He forgot where he was for just long enough to doom himself. 

Zifeara spun tighter, faster circles in place, drawing her arms closer before extending one which he promptly caught, causing her to spin right into his chest. Shit, when did he walk in here? She looked up at him in surprise, that cute pink spreading across her cheeks as she stammered.

 

_ “H-hey, Saeran. Uh, I- I finished filing so…” _

 

“What exactly are you doing?”

 

_ “Well, um… dancing. It’s called swing. I guess I kind of missed it.” _

 

He was still holding her right wrist just level with her face, but he wasn’t liking the way she was looking at him. He hadn’t meant to be here in the first place and she looked… curious. Nothing good ever came of Zifeara being curious, especially not concerning him. Just before he could make some noise of disgust at her and let go, she seemed to regain herself, using her free hand to grab his waist and pull him closer.

 

“What the fuck-”

 

She took his other hand and placed it on her own waist, returning to his and quickly pulling, forcing him to either move or trip on her. He wasn’t sure which was worse, but his instinctual reaction to not fall made him move. When his grip on her wrist faltered, she interlaced their fingers and pinned his other hand to her side with her elbow, making him spin with her in steady circles.

 

“Alright, you have five  _ seconds _ to stop this and let go of me.”

 

_ “Aw, c’mon Saeran, dance with me! It’s easy!” _

 

“One.”

 

She didn’t stop moving, making him sway side to side before turning again, nearly stepping on her.

 

“Two.”

 

The more she made him step around her, the easier it was, falling into the rhythm of whatever song had come on next.

 

“Th-three.”

 

She moved her arm up his side, resting her hand on his shoulder, allowing him to let go of her waist. He could step away from her now. He turned with her again.

 

“Four…”

 

He wasn’t looking at her, but he knew she was grinning. He was paying closer attention to where his feet were going, noticing a repeating pattern in the way she was moving him. 

 

“F… four and a half.”

 

He would not look at her. Now it was out of spite. How dare she make him do this thing that he was somewhat enjoying. How dare she put herself so close to him, make him feel so hot in the face. Make him want to keep doing this stupid thing that was putting him more and more in sync with her movements.

 

_ “Five?” _

 

She stopped. The song stopped. The playlist must have run out. Zifeara didn’t move, hands still poised to dance, indigo eyes laughing at him accusingly, knowing he hadn’t really wanted to stop now. He accidentally met her gaze. Damn it all. 

 

“Teach me.”

  
  


Zifeara hadn’t thought moving furniture around and trying as hard as she ever had since getting here not to laugh at Saeran would ever have been part of her day. He was surprisingly better at dancing than she would have thought, but unsurprisingly pissy about wanting to learn. He griped at literally every other word out of her mouth, but did as she instructed, making her think this was just part of teaching him anything. Especially anything ‘girly and completely useless’. That he seemed to be enjoying. Waltzing was easy, the tango was a pain in the ass. Saeran just simply would not keep himself close enough to her to do what was needed, so she skipped that one, taking what she could get. She alternated them between classic forms of dance and what she had been taught of swing jazz, making sure Saeran wasn't bored. They really should have been working, but at least three hours passed before he realized how long she had kept him at this and gave up for the day, leading them to dinner. 

Dinner passed without incident, but tonight Saeran showered before demanding she come sit with him. She was probably just imagining things, but she could've sworn he had taken one this morning. He sat on the bed and beckoned her to him. He didn’t have a book, so it must be watching her draw tonight.

 

_ “What did you draw today?” _

 

Zifeara turned her tablet on, getting comfortable in their familiar sharing position; in between his legs, arms around her waist, head on her shoulder. His hair was damp and even more ticklish in clumps, making the startup process of her device seem to stretch much longer than usual. Once she had it going, she actually pulled up a drawing from yesterday since she’d been absentmindedly sketching Cat!Saeran again today. Along with brand new Cat!Zifeara. Yesterday she had just finished coloring a cherry tree in full bloom, a little red fox sitting underneath. He stared at it with the reverent expression she had now come to expect, giving a hum of approval before she started a blank document for the night. He waited patiently for her to start.

 

“What do you want?”

 

At first she thought he hadn’t understood the question, but sliding her eyes sideways revealed him to be staring intently at her device. And then his eyes met hers. He leaned back a bit, pink spreading itself across his cheeks and just slightly over the bridge of his nose. Which she always found really cute. 

 

_ “Mmmm… I… I want a wolf.” _

 

She could do that; this was the first thing he had actually asked for since she had starting asking, so she'd make him anything. Trying not to giggle at him for the hundredth time today, she started on his wolf, standing and staring head on. She had trouble with the front legs a few times before she had it right, humming something without paying too much attention as she often did. Zifeara had the rough sketch done by the time she realized where her observer had chosen to rest. He had his mouth resting gently on her shoulder, just enough so that she could feel every breath he took across her skin and was leaning his head on hers, completely lost in what she was doing. She could feel her face heating up now that she was aware of him and was glad there was no way he could tell from there. 

She was cleaning up lines when Saeran moved again. Just barely, but now she was hyperaware of every time he shifted even slightly. He moved slowly, so very slowly, clearly trying not to bother her or give any sign he was doing anything at all; his mouth moved just ever so slightly closer to the base of her neck, just right next to the end of her hair. Considering her concerns over his behavior recently, it didn’t make her feel much better to think that he was one muscle contraction away from kissing her neck. Now she didn’t know if he was doing this on purpose or not. She was also only just barely convincing herself that this was a bad thing. It was at the very least a problem. She must have subconsciously tensed. 

 

_ “I like it.” _

 

He wasn’t bothering to hide where he was now. She was really hoping he was talking about the wolf.

 

“Y-yeah? I kinda want a shower, so I’ll color it tomorrow. What color do you want him?”

 

_ “Him?” _

 

“Yeah, I kind of just picture it as a… him.”

 

Saeran was quiet again, still not moving his damn mouth. He was doing this on purpose. He was doing this just to see her reaction to it, reactions he would not get so help her. She could just see those mint green eyes of his teasing her. He practically whispered his choice into her skin, as if it were a word of intimacy. 

 

_ “Silver.” _

 

Oooookay, she was done sitting here. He let Zifeara get up without a fuss, surely watching as she made her way into the bathroom, acting as though nothing was amiss and that she absolutely was  _ not  _ flustered as Hell. Nope, not  _ at all _ imagining how sexy his voice would be had he not simply said a color. Not letting herself think about how much she had wished for just a brief second that he had tried something. God, Saeran had been super cute at 16 when she saw him last but  _ damn it _ . It was just the worst that there were psychological issues getting in between her and that childhood friend she really wouldn’t mind seeing with way less clothes on.

  
  


After what felt like forever, she was asleep. Saeran couldn't do it. He couldn't possibly bring himself to rest right now. He was fighting a war; a battle in his own skull against a voice that sounded a lot like his own but was trying to dissuade him from the one thing in a long while he actually  _ wanted _ . This was the same voice that had popped up around the same time he took Zifeara and seemed to be much too worried about her. It said things that opposed nearly every other action towards her; to this voice, he could do no right. Except when he was far too gentle with her. When he gave in to whatever silly whim she thrust upon him. When he held her close at night to keep the nightmares away. He had only suffered a few since she began sharing his bed, so she was doing  _ something _ to make them stop. That voice was definitely having a go at him now. He was giving in to his own desires and it wasn’t happy about this.

Saeran had waited long enough. He knew Zifeara was in that portion of sleep she didn't easily wake up from when she sighed and mumbled, leaning slightly into his chest. His upper half he had pressed as close to her back as he could, but he angled his lower half away, trying to ensure there would be no problems should she wake up. He pulled very lightly on her sleeve, further exposing her neck and just the upper part of her right shoulder. He had to know; it was killing him not to. Even if Saeran couldn't have what he really wanted, even if he waited for the Savior to tell him no, he couldn't do what he had been thinking of doing for a week anyway, he could at least do this without feeling guilty. At least he could if that damned voice would shut the Hell up.

He stilled, making sure not to do too much at once lest he wake his princess.  _ Stop it. _ His eyes grazed her flesh, stirring the heat in his chest, sending it lower.  _ Don't you dare.  _ Neither she or the Savior would know if he was careful.  _ You would know and you're well aware she'd be mad at you.  _ She sat perfectly still earlier when he had done very nearly the exact same thing, she hadn't yelled then.  _ She's been so nice to you and this is how you repay her?  _ He could repay her with worse. Zifeara is lucky that he… favored her the way he did.  _ But you don't remember her like you should. She's going to be so upset with you. _

He could argue with himself all day, but that would only waste time. He rested his head just next to Zifeara's shoulder, softly inhaling her now all-too familiar scent. It only spurred him on.  _ Saeran, no. This is bad. You've been so good until now. _ He was bad, he knew that. But now being bad  _ felt _ good. He gently placed his mouth back onto her shoulder, waiting to ensure she didn't stir.  _ Don't, please don’t.  _ Shut up. Saeran closed his eyes, parted his lips, and pressed down, delicately kissing the sacred skin on his goddess’ shoulder. This one forbidden contact sent scorching hot magma through his veins, burning away that pesky voice in his mind and left him craving more. It was all too true and this was the proof; if Rika was his Savior, then Zifeara wasn’t simply his princess, she  _ was _ his goddess. He needed this. He needed  _ her _ . No matter what the Savior said in their meeting, he would wait no longer. This was worth disobeying for. He was bad. They  _ all _ knew that. And he  _ was _ going to get worse.

  
  


Saeran was in the bathroom. Really he should have gone into the office; it was further away and would be safer, but he was confident he could be quiet. That and he could make this fast if he did it right. This was starting to become an annoyance; a chore to be dealt with that became physically painful if left undone. He was already far too excited since he had allowed himself just a few more kisses, stopping only when Zifeara made a noise that suggested he shouldn't press his luck any further. 

He unzipped his now very uncomfortable pants and pulled them down along with his underwear. In just a little more than a day, he wouldn't have to do this anymore. He sat down on the toilet lid, making himself as comfortable as possible given the less than ideal situation. Saeran stroked himself once, slowly at first, already feeling the familiar pressure build inside of him. Oh yeah, he could be fast. He worked up to a steady rhythm, flicking his thumb over his head and stifling the noise threatening to escape his throat. He bit down on his lower lip, just shy of drawing blood, just hard enough to add to the pleasure currently trying to work its way out of his body. It had only been a few minutes, but already he was getting close. Zifeara really did have some sort of power over him. He had never been brought to the edge so quickly before, especially not by just thoughts and brief contact. His mind played the sound of her frustrated huff on repeat, imaging the sounds of her own pleasure to be fairly similar. It was going to be so nice being the one in charge this time; he could do anything he wanted once she had been acclimated to it, exactly as he had been. Just the thought of that constantly moving mouth of hers completely filled with his cock, that pretty face of hers absolutely covered in his- oh shit. 

Saeran came and he came hard, attempting to contain as much of the mess as he could in his free hand so he wouldn't have to clean too much off the floor. Still minding his volume, he did allow himself the softest moan he could manage, still pushing out more semen than he had thought possible before this week. This was insane. This really had never happened before. Granted his memories of three years ago in this regard may be a bit hazy, but he was certain that everything about this was abnormal. He cleaned himself up, wondering what it was that was so different. All of this couldn't really be just because he kinda sorta maybe a little bit  _ liked _ Zifeara, could it? He owed the Savior his life; they gave him a purpose, they were helping him to save others, they… did not have him hiding in his bathroom anticipating the moment he could make them his. That was it. Saeran couldn't  _ have _ the Savior. He couldn't  _ own _ them. He did own Zifeara. And come the day after tomorrow, he was definitely going to need some  _ assistance _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry (not sorry) for that last joke. I couldn't help it...


	6. Cornered Cats Tend To Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran is getting impatient and it leads to something he'll regret. Something that makes Zifeara more determined than ever to get them both out and soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm taking a bit of a break for the holidays to play some new games and spend time with family, but I should be back with more new writing soon!

 

_“Saeran, we shouldn’t-”_

 

He put a hand over Zifeara’s mouth, ignoring her protests and feeling his heart hammering in his chest. He had her pressed tightly to the wall and he was so close to her that he could almost feel her heartbeat. This truly was a great day and he was so excited; he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he looked into her worried eyes. Saeran had this. He could be quick. She had chosen him over his brother and he would not disappoint.

 

“Trust me. I’ve got you and we can do this. Ready?”

 

She still looked dubious, pushing his hand off her and moving him over, leaning to look around the corner. She huffed. They had been talking quietly anyway, but this was a frantic whisper.

 

_“Go!”_

 

The two of them darted out from their hiding place, Zifeara being faster since she was older and fitter, moving as quickly but as stealthily as they could to the enemy castle to claim their prize; the old jungle gym faded with age sported a small, blue paper flag atop its highest point. Once they made it to the edge of the high ledge with no way up, they put their plan into action. This was the one angle they could come from without Fang and Saeyoung seeing them easily, but there wasn’t anything to climb on this side to get onto the raised platforms. Saeran quickly bent down, wrapping his arms around Zifeara’s legs so she was sitting comfortably on his shoulder and lifted, bringing her high enough if she stretched to grab onto one of the decorative metal bars on the side of the tower. She pulled herself all the way up and started to climb higher towards the flag. The second she was out of sight, his brother came around the corner and Saeran booked it. Zifeara had climbed far enough that Saeyoung hadn’t seen her. He had done his job. Saeyoung caught him very quickly since Saeran didn’t get out much, but his joy was short lived.

 

 _“Gotcha, Saeran! To the prison with you, vile fiend! You shall never be rescued and we_ **_will_ ** _find your-”_

 

_“Saaaeeeeeyoung! We win!”_

 

Zifeara was sitting atop the castle, flag in hand and waving it. She looked down to her other side and laughed when she heard Fang curse, something he did often when the adults weren’t around. The two children forming the other team emerged, disheartened and pouting. Saeyoung looked to his brother, speechless.

 

_“What? How did- I just- How did you two do that so fast?”_

 

Saeran just smirked, removing his arm from his brother’s grasp and going back to the ledge he had just helped Zifeara get up to. She was coming back down the same way she got up, it would seem. She swung her legs off the ledge and smiled down at him, waving the flag for him to see.

 

_“You were right, Saeran, you had a good plan. I don’t think I’ve ever won this game so fast! I should make you something out of this flag to celebrate!”_

 

He blushed a little, ignoring the roll of his eyes Fang gave now that he had come around the corner to scold his teammate for not watching his side. Saeran had a quick thought and acted on impulse, not knowing when he’d get to do this again. He stood just under the platform and held his arms out, urging her to jump down. She grinned before obliging, landing on him in a rather welcomed tackle-hug. He was certain his face was only getting redder, but he wanted that one moment to last forever; Zifeara’s arms around his neck, his around her waist, her face next to his, how happy he had just made her. He never wanted to let go, but there was only so long he could keep her this way without it being weird. He had been getting bolder in the two years since they met, but there were still limits.

When he set her down, she still kept one arm around his neck, turning to face her best friend and Saeyoung, and pressing their heads together. She held up a V with her fingers and stuck her tongue out.

 

_“Nyaa~ Sucks to be you, losers! I thought you were soooo good at this game, Fang!”_

 

Fang was definitely not thrilled. Saeran was worried to find his brother smirking at him even though he lost. Saeyoung knew. He had always known. Zifeara didn’t notice their exchange since she was preoccupied with a complaining Fang.

 

 _“I_ **_am_ ** _good, Saeyoung isn’t! Next time I am_ **_not_ ** _letting him be on the same team as me, then I’ll win. Stupid slow ginger.”_

 

_“Kai! You can’t say that, my ginger was plenty fast~ Besides, Saeyoung is not stupid. Neither of the twins are. You’re just being an ass because we just set a new record, huh, Saeran?”_

 

Oh crap, she was talking to him. She hadn’t stopped being _so_ close.

 

“Uh, y-yeah, sure Zifeara…”

 

Now she moved away a little to look him in the eye.

 

_“What’s the matter, did we push you too hard? Are you alright?”_

 

She let go of him, only to lift his chin slightly with one of her hands, looking him over for signs of fatigue. She was sure to notice how red his face was and it _really_ wasn’t doing him any favors. He couldn’t exactly tell her that _she_ was doing that to him. Luckily Saeyoung had his back. In the worst way.

 

 _“Yeah, sorry guys, but we should go home. We’ve been out a while already and I don’t want my brother to_ **_exert_ ** _himself too much. C’mon, Saeran.”_

 

He nodded his head towards their house and turned to go, giving him precious few seconds to say goodbye.

 

“S-sorry Zifeara, he’s right, we should go home. I’ll, um… see you later.”

 

She let him go, smiling but holding up the flag for him to see.

 

_“It’s ok. I’ll turn this into something for when I see you next. I’m getting good at origami, so I’ll make it something cool!”_

 

She lowered her voice to a whisper, imparting some untold wisdom to him.

 

_“Sae and I are working on a way for me to come see you guys while your mom is out and I think he’s almost got it. I’ll see you soon, okay?”_

 

Saeran smiled widely, nodding his head quickly and giving a little wave as he turned to follow his twin, intending to ask him about this magical plan later. Being able to see Zifeara more often would be a dream come true.

 

***

 

Zifeara really hadn’t been lying to him. He was remembering more and more about her, but this new knowledge seemed to come at a cost. The only times he remembered anything about her was when he directly disobeyed the orders he had been loyally following ever since he arrived at Mint Eye; taking one pill every morning without fail. He had first forgotten to take it the day he accidentally hit Zifeara. He had also forgotten to give her the pill she was meant to take. They were different pills; hers for initiation and his as a gift from the Savior to help with his anxiety. His were green as opposed to white. The Savior made his pills themself and he always took them. Today made the fifth time in the last 3 weeks Saeran had forgotten and every single time he recalled something new from his childhood. The growing issue was the fact that forgetting his own pill meant he was certain to forget Zifeara’s as well. The Savior expected to see her in a week. He was terrified of what they would say about his assistant. She was not conforming whatsoever and it scared him just as much as it did to admit that he didn’t want her to. He would miss who she was even though she was _a_ _ggravating beyond all conceivable logic_ … He liked that. Somehow he didn’t want her to become more compliant. He had the worst feeling it would ruin her drawings and he had come to love those pictures. One of which she was coloring right now.

Zifeara was behind him on the couch, _her_ couch, filling in and shading something as she had been all day. She had finished what little work he had for her long ago and was working on his drawing. He had finally gotten to ask her for a wolf, just not one with a star-dazzled pelt. It was a step in the right direction. Watching her draw calmed him, so watch he did. He made sure not to turn enough to distract her, but they would have to go get dinner soon anyway. In a little more than 12 hours, he had his meeting with the Savior to discuss what liberties he was and wasn’t allowed to take with his assistant and it was making him more fidgety than ever. He was about to be in Paradise with or without guilt and he _hated_ not knowing which it was going to be. He also knew he wouldn’t be able to face the Savior if he took what he wanted anyway without even asking, so waiting just that short amount of time was his only option.

 

_“Saeran?”_

 

He snapped his head up, not realizing he had been staring at the ground, turned all the way around in his chair. He had to stop unintentionally moving around her; this had already gotten him in trouble too many times.

 

“Let’s go eat.”

 

He got up to unlock the door, Zifeara falling into step right behind him as she was accustomed to now. At least she kind of listened. Making their way down the long hallway, three of the older disciples saw them coming and he did _not_ like the way they were looking at his girl. The most senior of the three spoke first as they blocked the path to the mess hall.

 

_“Hello, Saeran. I hear your assistant's evaluation is coming up next week. Think she’s ready?”_

 

“What the Hell do you care? She’s my assistant, mind your own damn business. Get out of my way.”

 

_“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong. She’s your assistant… for now. Word is if she fails, the Savior is reassigning her to someone more capable of completing her initiation. Which could be any of us.”_

 

“The fuck do you know, I talked to the Savior myself about her initiation and they said no such thing.”

 

The older man sneered and glanced at Zifeara, who thank god had obeyed the rule of not talking to anyone else. Saeran caught the way she straight up _glared_ at the other disciple before pushing herself closer to his side. At least she was smart. And apparently loyal.

 

 _“Things change, Saeran. I’d keep a tighter leash on your little_ **_bitch_ ** _if I were you or she might wander into someone else's yard.”_

 

Moving forward quickly, he grabbed the disciple’s robe, holding the shorter man up somewhat painfully, practically snarling at him. _No one_ talked about his goddess like that.

 

“And I’d watch who you call what around here _if I were you_ . I still have seniority and it would be a _shame_ if someone the Savior trusts with one of only two master keys to the entire building were to tell them of some disciples who were... _losing their way_ and were in desperate need of _reconditioning_. Don’t you think, C201?”

 

The man’s face paled as Saeran dropped him and he scrambled back to the other two hooded figures, all now nervously moving to one side of the hallway. Saeran moved Zifeara around him so that he could push her forward and away from the assholes who were now rather scared of him. _Reassignment_. The one thing he had been terrified of more than anything since Zifeara had shown no signs of adjustment to the ways of Mint Eye. He would have to figure something out and fast. He didn’t want to believe those absolute imbeciles, but it was possible the Savior had changed their mind. They could do anything they pleased.

 

_“Saeran?”_

 

Her voice made him jump. She was done with her shower and had emerged from the bathroom, standing no more than 3 feet from him, eyes full of concern. He hated it when Zifeara looked at him like that. That look always preceded questions he didn't want to answer. He was lying on the bed in the dark staring at the ceiling, so he had turned his head to look at her. He held an arm out, demanding she come. As much as she had gotten him to be considerate of her to a certain amount, he had trained her just as much. She walked to the bed, standing over him and placed her hand in his. He pulled slightly, expressing his will for her to lay with him, but she hesitated. She wasn't completely trained. She sighed and stared at his face, properly choosing her wording.

 

_“What did he mean earlier?”_

 

Saeran knew exactly what she was talking about, but it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. Not right now. He pulled again, a little harder this time. She still didn't move and continued staring. He was getting sick of this. He didn't want to use words right now. He didn't trust his voice; afraid it would betray his concern over the silly cow, making him sound weak. He pulled one more time, making an agitated noise. She wouldn't budge. He huffed.

Saeran sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, letting go of Zifeara's hand, only to grab her hips and pull her to him. She stiffened and protested, but stopped when he looked up at her. God he hated her eyes. They always told him exactly what she was thinking. Right now she was worried about him and he wished she'd stop. Just do what he said. _Listen_. Behave… Stay. He looked down and rested his forehead on her stomach, waiting for her to protest more so that he could do what he wanted. Her feistiness always riled him up and right now he had about as much fire in him as a piece of fresh driftwood.

Zifeara never did what he wanted her to. His eyes widened as he felt her hand run through his hair. Just like she had done when he had hit her. This time was different; this time when she hit the last few hairs at the nape of his neck, she brought her hand back the way it had come. She kept doing this. Repeatedly. Just… just as the Savior did to calm him after their sessions. But this was weird. She had done nothing to stir him. Well, she was always a pain in the ass, but nothing special at the moment. She owed him no comfort. She was being so fucking _gentle_ . What even was this? He… he really liked this. She was goddamn _petting_ him. He would not be pet like a cat. He would not let himself be stroked this way. He would not… move.

Saeran wanted to, really he did, but he was stuck. The only things currently moving were his hands and they were not going somewhere he wanted them to. They loosened their hold on Zifeara's hips, lightly running down her legs and making her shudder. They interlocked behind her knees, making this the weirdest hug-hold-thing ever known to man. And there they stayed. There he stayed. Once he had begrudgingly accepted his fate, he closed his eyes; focusing on the way her fingers lightly trailed his scalp, on how even though she had just gotten out of the shower so everything smelled like mint he could still smell her, on how soft the skin of her legs was.

How she had stopped. He instantly snapped his head back up, glaring in aggravation. She pushed on his shoulders and laughed as he let go and hopped up onto the bed, arms crossed and still shooting daggers.

 

_“Get off my side of the bed.”_

 

He did and leaned against the wall, pouting. She got under the blankets but propped herself on her elbow, facing him. Saeran looked over, still annoyed, only to blush as she crooked her finger at him, this time beckoning _him_ closer. The look of disdain on his face must have been strong.

 

_“Well do you want me to keep doing that or not?”_

 

He really didn't want to admit he wanted her to do that for forever, but at least she had stopped asking about the other disciples. He grumbled, getting under the blankets himself and laying down, scooting closer but still not touching her. Zifeara rolled her eyes and huffed softly. She closed the distance between them, putting her head under his chin. She stopped the objection about to come from his mouth by running her hand up his neck and roughly into the back of his hair, pleasantly rubbing his scalp. Saeran gave an unintentional deep hum, feeling his body go limp and he could almost hear the smug in her thoughts. She didn't say a word though, simply continuing her attentions, generally softer after that. Saeran Choi would never, _ever_ admit to a soul on this Earth, Heaven, or Hell that he liked to be pet.

 

He was in his office, working on something important, focusing hard.

 

_“Saeran!”_

 

He turned around, finding Zifeara leaning through the open doorway. She was holding a plate of food and smiling. She must have brought him dinner. Was it really that late? He stood and made his way over to her, taking the plate and setting it down, winding an arm around her waist and resting the other on the doorframe behind her. She giggled as he buried his face into her neck, nipping at her skin and humming in contentment.

 

_“Haha, hungry for something else, are we?”_

 

“Maybe. What else is on the menu?”

 

_“Disappointment.”_

 

That was _not_ Zifeara's voice. He felt his skin crawl at the realization of who that menacing tone belonged to. Quickly pulling away, he met the Savior’s cold green eyes.

 

_“You are such a disappointment Saeran. All you had to do was integrate her into Mint Eye, but you couldn't even do that. You let her have too much freedom. I will not give her such liberties. I'll be taking care of her now as well as checking in on how your reconditioning is going. You've been a bad boy, Saeran. Bad boys get punished.”_

 

His reconditioning was nothing. It would be Hell, he had seen it done, but the Savior was taking his assistant. Zifeara was already gone; he looked around, seeing her nowhere in sight, but he could hear her. She was somewhere down the hallway, just out of sight. She was alternating between crying and screaming. She was being initiated the hard way. The Savior stood between him and the hallway, daring him to try to get to his assistant, to defy them again right in front of their face. Saeran wanted to stay; to obey his Savior as he always had and continue to be their right hand to help bring about Paradise. He was fidgeting. He was actually considering going around them, charging down the hallway to go find his girl. Whatever was happening to Zifeara hurt and hurt a lot. He couldn't go to her. He had failed her. He felt his resolve weaken when she called his name. The Savior saw the look in his eyes and placed their hands on his chest, pushing him back into his office.

 

_“Is this because of how long it's been since I've asked you into my room? If that was all, you could have just asked, Saeran.”_

 

They trailed their hands down his sides, running one of them over the zipper of his pants. He swallowed hard, hearing Zifeara call him again.

 

“N-no Savior. I'm f-fine.”

 

They grabbed his chin, forcing his unsettled stare to meet their hungry eyes.

 

 _“Then stop looking for her. I am your Savior and I own you. Look at_ **_me_ ** _. I should have taken her from you the second you brought her here. I'll make sure her initiation is worthy of the loyalty you've shown lately, Saeran. Trust me.”_

 

The Savior pulled his face to theirs, crashing their lips together and forcing their tongue into his mouth. It burned him like a hot stone but was more torturous than one, feeling more wrong and out of place than it ever had before. The last time Zifeara screamed for him, Saeran could feel it in his bones. He wasn't fine. He was bad. He disobeyed.

Saeran pushed the Savior off him, running to the doorway and throwing himself through it, nearly crashing into the hallway wall with as sharply as he turned. He would worry about what they would do to him for this later; somewhere in one of these rooms, the one person who had made him _feel_ something, something he couldn't place was being taken from him. Zifeara wasn't just calling for help or screaming from the pain of initiation. She was screaming _his name_. She needed _him_. _Wanted_ _him_.

 

_“Saeran!”_

 

He couldn't figure out which room her voice was coming from. It never sounded any closer but he knew the Savior was still behind him somewhere; furious and ready to punish him for his growing disobedience. Reconditioning was third drawer levels of punishment.

 

_“Saeran, stop!”_

 

He skid to a halt, forcefully slamming his entire body into the door Zifeara told him to stop by. It was stuck, completely immovable, and wrenching the handle wasn't doing anything either.

 

_“Sae- ow! Stop that. Sae-ran, look at me.”_

 

Why was ramming this door hurting her? The Hell was she talking about. Why was she _talking_ now? She sounded fine… He felt himself shaking as if the whole building was coming down. He hadn't even found Zifeara and now-

Saeran opened his eyes, finding himself completely upright and panting. And holding on to something that was very much not a doorknob. There was something in his hair. There was something right in front of him that also was not a door. That something was purple and glaring at him.

 

“Zi-Zifeara, where have you been?! Are you okay?”

 

Her expression softened and she ran her thumb along the back of his head soothingly. She had a hand in hair. Looking at what his right hand was holding onto so tightly, he discovered it to be the wrist of her other arm, probably hard enough that it would leave bruises. He didn't let go.

 

 _“I haven't_ **_been_ ** _anywhere. You woke me up. You said my name and wouldn't let go of me. I had to sit you all the way up to get you to wake up. Are you alright?”_

 

Saeran slowed his breathing. She was fine. Zifeara was right here in front of him and she was fine. She was still his. For now.

 

“Just a nightmare. It's nothing.”

 

_“Then can I have my arm back? That kind of hurts.”_

 

He supposed it did. She let her other hand fall from his head once he had answered her and he missed the feeling. He had just chosen her over his Savior. Even if it hadn't been real, he made the choice. No one could possibly be this important. What wasn't he remembering?

She was doing it again. Looking at him like she actually cared. Worrying about him. Pissing him off… _Getting_ him off. Shit. He needed to feel her, make sure she was real, make sure she could _be_ his. He had chosen her over the Savior once tonight, what was once more? He could feel his own need quickly building, scorching his veins and skin, driving him to complete disobedience. He was bad. Very, _very_ bad. He couldn’t have cared less.

He lessened the pressure on her wrist slightly, but still didn't let go. He took her other hand gently, not wanting to scare her more than he needed to. She seemed to behave better for him when he was delicate with her. That would be all he was delicate with tonight. Even if they had to stay hidden, he was leaving marks. _His_ marks.

 

_“Saeran?”_

 

Zifeara sounded nervous. That was fair, he had been his first time too. And quite a few times after that, really. He wondered if he was looking at her the same way the Savior had looked at him? Either way, she would get used to this. It only took him till his fourth or fifth time and she was smart. It surely would take her no time at all. Besides, the Savior had taught him well; this was simply how things worked and much like the path to Paradise, this was a process. One that could only be learned through experience.

 

“Zifeara, what is the first of your rules?”

 

_“W-what?”_

 

Being nervous made her forget. He would need to remind her of her place. That was okay; Saeran hadn't needed to remind her of these rules yet thus far and the idea of physically restating the fact that she was his excited him. He could feel his arousal building, the thought of doing what he wanted right under the Savior’s nose only adding to the fire inside him.

 

“You will do as I say, when I say it. Correct?”

 

_“Saeran, what are you-”_

 

He quickly wrapped the hand holding hers around that wrist as well, using his weight to push Zifeara back onto the bed and using the element of surprise to straddle her before she could even think to move. He held her wrists level with her face, bringing his head down to be just next to her ear.

 

“I'm done waiting for the Savior to tell me what I can and can't do with my own assistant. You're _mine_ and I'm going to prove it. Now be good for me and let me take you to Paradise~”

 

Before she could protest he roughly brought his lips to hers, drinking in the feeling he had only imagined, only dared fantasize about. She shot electricity coursing through his body, making him hum against her. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, not minding too much that she wouldn't open her mouth for him yet. He hadn't told her to, after all. She just needed instruction. Breaking away from his long anticipated kiss, her voice sounded far more defiant than he had been expecting, much more stable than he thought she could be considering what he was about to give her.

 

_“Saeran, stop. Don't make me do this.”_

 

Cute. Zifeara thought she had a choice. He pressed his hips against hers, letting her feel how much this was not a negotiation, feel what it was she _did_ to him. Letting her know that this was as much for her as it was for him.

 

“Trust me, I know it can be scary at first, but I can promise you that when I'm through, you'll be begging me to do it again. And oh will I make you beg, princess~ Do what I tell you and you'll be handsomely rewarded.”

 

He leaned down slowly to kiss her again and was pleasantly surprised to find that she was listening for once. She had pressed her head as far against the mattress as she could manage at first, but now she was bringing it back up quickly to meet him. Far… too quickly. Zifeara rammed her skull into his, creating a resounding clapping noise only covered by his own cry. Saeran sat up and instinctively brought his left hand to his head, cringing from the impact. He hadn't realized what a mistake that was till it was too late. He felt her shift under him, moving up from the bed. The blunt force to the side of his jaw caused him to lose his balance, easily allowing the hands on his chest to violently shove him off the bed and onto the floor.

This was bad. This was worse than bad. This was awful. Zifeara had hurt him. Just like the others. All he wanted to do was make her happy. Happy like she made him. Happy like he made the Savior. What had he done wrong? Sure he had skipped a step or two, but he didn't have the kind of time the Savior did with him. He knew he was bad. He had thought she was good. Now he wasn't sure. He was breathing fast. His head hurt. His chest hurt. He curled himself up in a ball, not caring where he was at the moment. His head hurt more from moving. He closed his eyes, hoping that would help. It didn't. He… saw something. He was remembering something. It was too fast. All of it was too fast. Thing after thing after thing raced through his pounding skull, all pushing to be first. All about the girl he grew up with. The girl who had taken care of him almost as much as his own brother. The girl who had once meant more to him than almost anything else in the world. The same one that was still somewhere in this room.

 

Zifeara hadn't liked the look Saeran was giving her and she had been right. She felt bad about having to deck him, but not bad enough to keep her from shoving him off her and onto the floor. She could tell from the sounds he was making that she had sent him into a panic attack. She stayed well away from him, shutting herself in the bathroom. This door didn't have a lock, but it was one more thing in between them. One more warning she would have if he came after her any time soon. She was more than willing to bet she could take him in a fair fight; all she had to do was even her odds and there would be nothing he could do to stop her.

She wanted to take his keycard and run. She could probably do it too; Saeran was useless when he was like this. She could take it, run out the door he had showed her, not look back. There were problems with this idea. Obvious problems. She almost didn't care. It would be better than being here.

She should have known this was coming. She had let him get too close to her. Saeran had been showing all the signs of wanting her in that way but… he had been so sweet at times too. Almost innocent. Not innocent enough. She hadn't wanted to think he would try this; at the very least not before she could get them out of here. She knew she had time to get her shit together before he could function again.

Zifeara sat with her knees up to her chest, tears stinging her eyes. Her wonderfully sweet, shy, considerate childhood best friend had been taken to some sort of miserable cult and brainwashed, turning him into some sort of monster. He had kidnapped her, thought he was forcing her to take some sort of pills, subjected her to the gentlest enslavement in the history of mankind, and really only grumbled at her as she made a nuisance of herself. And now he had just tried to rape her. She allowed herself a short, quiet moment to freak out; the only one she'd had since getting here. She knew she was strong and had to continue to be, but this was her breaking point. Zifeara definitely still felt something for Saeran, but there was not enough temptation in the world for her to have sex with him while he was still out of his right mind, much the less in this insane asylum.

 

It was probably a good few hours before she heard something from the other room. Saeran was moving around. Looking for her. Stopping. Zifeara put her hands around the door handle, ensuring he couldn't turn it easily. She heard his footsteps approaching the bathroom but then… waiting. Hesitating. He lightly knocked on the door. _What_.

 

_“Zif-Zifeara… come out. P-please?”_

 

… Did he just say _please_?! There was no way she had heard him correctly. She had not once heard Saeran use that word the entire time she'd been here, not even sarcastically. She listened longer, hearing silence on the other end, certain he was about to try to open the door. Instead she only heard him walking away, followed by the the bed creaking. This… this was not happening. This was a trap. Any minute now he was going to charge this door, fighting tooth and nail to get to her. She'd have to kick his ass and escape… Right?

She wasn't counting, but it felt like at least another 20 minutes before Zifeara heard the sound that made her crack the door open. She hadn't moved from the handle the entire time, tense and ready to fight, but the soft, sad sound broke her heart. It sounded much like she had earlier. Saeran was crying. This was unusual to his panic attacks. She quietly turned the knob and opened the door, just far enough to poke a tiny bit of her head out. Just enough to see him.

Saeran was sitting on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom door. Waiting for her. He had his face behind his hands so he hadn't seen her, but his shoulders were shaking to prove she had been right. He was clearly trying to be quiet, but a choked sob escaped once in awhile. Zifeara cautiously edged herself out of the bathroom, not relaxing for even a second in case his mood swings swung back the other way. Hit her once shame on him, but he was not going to get the chance to hit her twice.

 

“Saeran?”

 

He gasped softly as he snapped his head up, bloodshot eyes making the mint green of his irises stand out more. He quickly stood and reached for her, freezing when she recoiled and stiffened her stance, quite obviously ready to repeat her earlier actions. His face dropped, another round of tears making their way down. He pulled both his hands back to his chest.

 

_“I… I'm-I'm sorry. I sh-shouldn't have…”_

 

He had said please _and_ apologized? Who the Hell was this? His expression was murder, caught somewhere between guilt, pleading, and distress.

 

_“I… I rem-membered you. So much about you… I'm s-so sorry, Zifeara.”_

 

Saeran didn't seem to be lying. Then again, he hadn't seemed to be a lot of things lately.

 

“Sit down.”

 

He blinked slowly, backing up to his previous spot on the bed and sitting, still looking at her sadly. He almost looked like a kid again this way. Like her friend again. They stayed this way for a while before Zifeara relaxed slightly. Not a lot, but enough.

 

“Why?”

 

His eyes widened and a pink haze spread across his cheeks. He broke eye contact and looked at the floor, the way she usually did when he was getting ready to yell. Saeran was very quiet.

 

_“Uhm… you… you're my assistant… and nice… and pretty.”_

 

He didn't seem to have a good explanation for his actions, but the one he gave was definitely adding to the childlike state he seemed to have reverted to for the moment.

 

_“I didn't want to hurt you… not… not really. I… still don't.”_

 

She sighed. He looked like a wreck. An honest wreck. Zifeara moved towards Saeran slowly, watching him carefully to make sure he wasn't making any sudden motions. He sat stock still besides turning his head to follow her as she sat down next to him. Now that he had stopped crying, she noticed he was squinting oddly from time to time.

 

“Saeran, are your eyes ok? I… I didn't hurt you too badly, did I?”

 

She was pretty confident most of his misbehavior and bad ideas were a direct result of this place and the drugs they were filling him with. She still cared about him, damnit.

 

_“O-oh. Um, no, this… isn't your fault. My uhm, my… contacts are itchy.”_

 

“So why don't you take them out?”

 

_“No! I never take these out…”_

 

“Do you need them to see?”

 

_“Well… no.”_

 

He was being stubborn. Zifeara knew it was a bad idea considering the circumstances… but she started turning her head to look away from him; making eye contact for as long as possible before completely looking away.

 

She had turned away from him. She purposefully wasn't looking. No one had seen him without his contacts in years. Zifeara was one of the only people who knew his eyes weren't naturally this color, though. And they did really hurt. He sighed softly. Saeran took both lenses out, balancing them on the tips of his index fingers and rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. God that felt really good. He could feel Zifeara staring at him again. He kept his eyes shut for a minute even after he had lowered his hands. Why was he so nervous? Sure he felt like shit considering he had just had a massive episode following being punched in the face for trying to force himself on the only friend he had ever had, but she knew what he really looked like. It wasn't like he was pulling his whole face off to reveal it had all been a lie.

He opened his eyes slowly, meeting her gorgeous indigo gaze. How could he have hated her eyes? He still hated her pity, but he couldn't hate her eyes. Which were now wide as she was staring. Saeran could feel himself warm again, not in the same way as earlier, but almost… pleasantly. At the same time he wanted to crawl under the bed and disappear. He didn't think she had ever looked at him like that and he really couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not. Surely it wasn't. She would never be able to look at him in a good way ever again now.

 

_“How did I even…”_

 

Zifeara got back up before he could ask what she was talking about, fetching her tablet and turning it on, digging through files. While Saeran thought she was distracted doing that, he cautiously stood up, moving carefully around her into the bathroom to put his lenses into a container. She kept an eye on him, making sure they were still not about to have another problem. When he came back out, she was sitting on the bed and he joined her. She held her tablet close to her so he couldn't see what she had pulled up as he sat back down. He looked at her curiously.

 

 _“When you first brought me here and I didn't know for sure what you looked like or that you were… well,_ **_you_ ** _, I started drawing a picture to try to guess what you were like under your mask. I… that was how I figured out who you were…”_

 

She turned the device around, letting him see the very nicely done waist up portrait of himself. It was way too accurate, but… his hair was red and eyes were gold. And extremely detailed.

 

“You… you remembered me this well?”

 

“ _I don't know how I did it either… Your eyes haven't changed though. They've always looked like that.”_

 

How could she have remembered such an insignificant thing like what his eyes looked like? Now he was too hot. He could feel the panic fighting it's way back to the surface, even though he had been so sure he was done. Zifeara of course noticed. Before she could speak, Saeran started curling in on himself, tucking his head down between his knees. She hesitated before setting a hand on his back, gently rubbing up and down his spine.

 

_“Hey, hey, hey. None of that. It's okay. You're okay.”_

 

“I-I’m not oh-okay. I'm bad. So b-bad. Bad to you. Sh-shouldn’t’ve been bad. C-can’t be good. Not good. S-s-so sorry. Sorry. Sorry...”

 

_“Saeran, stop it. We all make mistakes and… and I don't hate you for that. I accept your apology as long as you promise not to do it again. Hey, look at me.”_

 

She was trying her best to pull his chin back up, to get him to uncurl, but he was far too gone. His vision was fading even though his eyes were wide open and his lungs were filled with fire despite the chill in the room. He felt himself moving. He wasn't doing it. Her hands weren't where they were a minute ago. She was picking him up. Zifeara was even stronger than he thought. She was moving him onto the bed. Moving the blankets around. Somehow stomaching laying next to him. Bringing the blankets back. Burying them.

It was warm and comfortable and isolated; so dark he couldn't see anything around him but he could definitely feel what was happening. Zifeara molded her body around the ball he was still curled into. She pressed his head as close to her chest as she could; close enough that he could hear her heartbeat. It wasn't as fast as his, but it wasn't calm either. He could just barely hear her voice over his own rapid breathing as she stroked his head.

 

_“You said you remembered me better. Do you remember that time I caught a wasp and Saeyoung let it go in the confessional booth?”_

 

He did. He almost smiled at the thought.

 

 _“The priest screamed like a little girl and ran out so fast. I would have gotten in so much trouble for that if you hadn't helped me hide. Sae was so busted. Or that time when I got stuck in the old tree that_ **_one_ ** _time Kai was sick? It took both of you to get me down.”_

 

His breathing didn't slow but he did laugh a tiny bit at that one. She wouldn't jump for Saeyoung, but she had for him.

 

_“And that day when Kai went to rip into you both for getting me in trouble all the time…”_

 

“...Ha… I-I-I t-took you and we- we hid under the com-communion table. Had to b-be super quiet.”

 

_“Hahahaha, that's right. Saeyoung distracted him and we snuck off and the second Fang looked for us he ran like Hell.”_

 

“Wh-when you… you came over that f-f-first time. Brought us food.”

 

_“Mhm. You were both so excited.”_

 

He was calming down a little. Her hand running through his hair felt so good and the blanket nest made him feel almost safe. He kept wondering how Zifeara was still managing to cuddle up to him. To even _touch_ him with what he had just tried to _do_ to her tonight. Saeran couldn't fathom how she was able to be in the vicinity of him. But god was he thankful for it. Right now she was the only thing he cared about. He wanted to make all of this up to her. He could do it too; he was basically royalty here at Magenta. He would make her happy. No matter how much trouble it put him in… he would make Zifeara happy.

 

“D-do you… still rem-remember… the song? ...M-my song?”

 

She used to sing so beautifully. He had no idea what compelled him to ask anything more of her, but this song was special. This song was meant for him and his ears alone. Zifeara never sang quite the same for anyone the way she sang for him.

 

How could she not? It was a song she only sung for him; something special between them that his brother never got. The song was something Malaya had taught her. The first time she had sung it for him was… when he had been in that tree having a panic attack. After that it was only once Saeyoung had left; happening only when the two of them had met up while he was out on an errand for his mother or when she'd sneak over. She sang for him every time they saw each other after Saeyoung left… Just as she would sing for him now.

Saeran unfurled as [she sang](https://youtu.be/f9fu5rJ3k4Q), winding his arms around her and snuggling closer. The further in the song she got, the more Zifeara realized how the lyrics fit him so much more now. She felt him begin to relax, her voice still seeming to have the same effect now as it did all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your songs for this chapter are [Million Reasons](https://youtu.be/1u9EdaI3rFw) by Lady Gaga  
> and Soldatino by Paola Bennet. 
> 
> The first obviously belongs to Zifeara and can be listened to whenever, and the second really sounds like something that would make her think of Saeran. Mal knows a lot of languages and taught her the song, which she then sang for him and he sort of got attached to it. :3  
> Also, I feel really bad for doing a lot of things to Saeran, but he is currently mentally unstable, so.... oops I guess.


	7. Bad Ending: What If Mint Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Saeran had done things a little differently when he took Zifeara and she ended up being inducted into Mint Eye like she was supposed to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, listen. This started as an idea I was never going to write down and then just kinda snowballed into something I had to do. This is for all intents and purposes a ONESHOT that is NOT cannon to Those That Stick Together! So I decided to turn it into a bad ending just like in the game! No this has nothing to do with the actual bad endings, this is just how it fit. 
> 
> Prepare for some really heavy OC angst and enjoy!
> 
> Art again by the wonderful Thwippersnapple on Tumblr!

Though he had thought it best to wait, Saeran gave her the drugs anyway. She was still unconscious, but it was easy enough to get her to swallow the pill. He wanted to stay, to wait for her to wake up so that he could see her radiant eyes and hear her bewitching voice, but the pain still burning over his back reminded him that he had work to do. He didn't have the time to welcome her home. Not yet. He wanted so badly to be there when she woke up confused and in pain, but she was tough. Zifeara would make it through her initiation without him. She had to.

 

***

 

The only thing she was aware of at the moment was that every inch of her being was on fire like nothing she’d ever known. Zifeara had never felt this way when she was sick, not even the time she’d had a nearly fatally high fever as a child. The burn she felt right now could only be from ingesting pure molten _lava_. She wanted to scream, wanted to writhe and claw whatever this was out of her system, but she couldn't move. Her limbs were heavy and unresponsive and she couldn't seem to find the energy to try any harder. Her mind was hazy; memories dipped in and out, melding or altogether falling away. She had no idea where she was. She could swear she heard someone talking to her from time to time, but she couldn't figure out who it was. They sounded familiar… and safe. Something kept telling her to cling to whoever this was, to reach out for them, to beg them to save her from this Hell. She resisted. Zifeara Nightshade didn't beg anyone for anything. Not now, not ever. Her own name was the only thing she could be sure of in this state; the only thing keeping her anchored to the real world and who she was. She chanted it like a mantra to herself. If this new world she’d been thrust into was nothing but pain and fire, then she would become a demon to rule it.

 

***

 

This wasn't ideal. Zifeara wasn’t inducting normally. It had been four days of forcing the drugs into her system, forcing food and water into her, helping her to and from the bathroom and the office, but she would not wake up. Not all the way. She would only pass into a state of functionality similar to that of a zombie; able to move and be directed to things, perform basic human functions, seemed to hear him when he talked to her in these states. But her eyes didn't follow anything, she never gave a response to his words, she couldn't seem to actively eat or drink of her own will. These near lucid episodes didn't last long before she was out again.

Saeran was starting to panic. Had he done something wrong? The Savior had given him these pills for Zifeara just as she gave him the pills he always took. They were special. But this wasn't anything like he'd ever seen any other inductee behave. He didn't like this. He had wanted her for her drawings, her beauty, her laugh. He didn't have any of that now. He hadn't risked ruining Mint Eye for a husk he had to care for. Maybe… maybe he should lessen her dosage. Maybe this was her body not handling it well… He wanted her to be part of Mint Eye, but at what cost? He stopped giving her the full pill, instead cutting it in half to try to fix this. He didn’t tell the Savior about it.

Saeran stood over Zifeara’s crumpled form on the couch, staring as she twitched and listening to her labored breathing. He felt… conflicted. He laid down, curling his body around her own, placing his head in the crook of her neck to murmur softly to her as he liked to do.

 

“It'll be okay. You'll be fine. I’m here and I’ve got you. I just… want you to wake up. To look at me. Think you can do that, princess?”

 

She was facing away from him, so he moved, turning her over and cradling her to his chest. He had been gentle with her for days and it wasn’t helping.

 

“I'm starting to get real sick of doing everything for you, you know. You're really trying my patience. Zifeara, look at me.”

 

Her eyes were closed, lips parted and chest heaving. She looked like he did when he had a fever. He wanted to yell. Wanted to scream, to get her to stop being so weak. It had worked for him. But the longer he looked at her, the less his resolve to do so held. She was strange. She was… doing something to him. Her eyelids fluttered, a sign that she was about to come as close to conscious as she would get. Maybe being mean was kinda doing something.

 

“Zifeara. Wake up. Stop making me waste my time with you, I have work to do.”

 

It took some time, but her eyes worked their way open. The bright indigo of her irises was dull, clouded over and unfocused. As per usual. He sighed. She only ever stared straight in front of her.

 

“God, you're such a pain. If this is how you're going to be for forever, I'm going to have to find a new assistant.”

 

He didn't want a new assistant. He wanted her. Why, he had no idea. He just did. Badly. Saeran still couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something… something about _why_ she was so important to him. Why he just couldn't seem to do what he wanted to her.

 

“Zifeara, I mean it, I'm busy and can't be stuck fucking _doting_ on you. Pull your shit together.”

 

He didn't know what else to do at this point. She just lay there, blinking slowly from time to time, completely still. He let out a low growl.

 

“Look at me. At least do that. Do _something_.”

 

Nothing. He was tired. He'd been awake almost nonstop since he brought her here, either working or worrying over her. He wanted to sleep. To fall asleep to the feeling of her holding him the way he was holding her. He wanted to be lulled to sleep hearing the sound of her heartbeat, like he had been so long ago by the Savior. He was so _tired_. He was getting soft.

 

“Fuck, Saeran, you're such an idiot.”

 

He had said it in a hushed tone, only to himself, but that was when he noticed it. Or at least he thought he had. Zifeara’s eyes twitched. Not blinked… twitched. They hadn't done that before. He looked further down, not wanting to be too hopeful, but definitely paying closer attention.

 

“Zifeara?”

 

She was still again. Blinked slowly. Nothing. Maybe it was something he'd said? Maybe he was crazier than he thought. There was one way to find out.

 

“Fuck, Saeran, you-”

 

She did it again. He absolutely saw it happen this time.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Nothing. Slowly blinked. There was no way. This was not possible.

 

“S… Saeran…”

 

He own name had never sounded so foreign before. Twitch. She did it more than once this time. It was as if… her eyes were trying to finally focus. Trying to actually _see_. She was still again and he almost managed to say something else. Her eyes slid upwards, still dull but finally meeting his. His breath caught in his throat.

 

_“Sae...ran.”_

 

***

 

She knew who he was. He was hers. She didn't know why, but she knew it to be true. She had a short list of things she knew were true. Her name was Zifeara Mortis Nightshade and no one fucked with her. His name was Saeran Choi and he belonged to her. They were somewhere she had never seen and he had a job to do. She didn't feel well, but he was trying to make her better. He was really cute.

It wasn't as long a list of facts as she'd like, but at least it was something. Something to focus on besides her nausea and constant headache. Besides the nagging feeling that she was forgetting something fatally important. She focuses on Saeran as he moves around this room. She's only seen two rooms. Both are his. _Theirs_. He and she were a they. He almost didn't go anywhere without her. Yesterday he handed her a device. It looked familiar. She had stared at it for a while, trying to recall what it was. Once she figured out how to turn it on, she had to figure out how to unlock it. She had to draw a pattern. She tried a few things, eventually giving up. She couldn't remember. Saeran seemed unhappy about it.

Today she tried again. As she stared down at the expectant screen, her hand moved on its own, drawing a simple sun. The tablet opened itself to her. She didn't know why. The thing was filled with drawings, all in various states of completion and of a million different subjects. The most recent one was a person. He had red hair and gold eyes and was laying back in a field, gazing at the clouds. _Saeran_. Her brain told her it was him, but he didn't look like that right now. She must have known him for a long time. She drifted through the other documents, finding cats that had people hair but looked like no one she knew, cats that looked a lot like the picture of Saeran but weren't the same, animals of every kind, more people she didn't know.

One that she really felt she should. He was really cute too; black hair, red eyes, freckles, seemed tall and lanky. He was standing next to her in the picture and they were both wearing some kind of robes. They looked like wizards. They looked happy. Something about him caused a tightening in her chest. A feeling she couldn't place. She looked at something else.

She looked at Saeran. The way he slouched in his computer chair, how his fingers danced across his keyboard, the way he would grumble to himself about something. She started to draw him, finding it easier to remember how when she had something right in front of her to base it off of. She spent entire days drawing as she regained her strength. Saeran seemed content to let her do that, always demanding to see what it was that she had made. His face turned a brilliant shade of pink whenever it was a picture of him. She drew him a lot. She stared drawing animals again because they were his favorite and all over easier to make. She made creatures from plants and swirls of the galaxy. She made monsters from darkness and the magma of the earth. She made a wolf that looked a lot like Saeran and he was over the moon for it. He made it the new background for his largest monitor. Things were good. She liked Saeran.

Zifeara didn't know why she had to keep taking a pill every morning. It was always half of something he would never tell her the name of. She asked why she couldn't take a full pill and he wouldn't tell her that either. He taught her about the way they lived their lives here at Magenta, about what it was he did and why… about the Savior. She didn't understand how these people could be so naive. Paradise wasn't obtained through a religion, it was _made_ with hard work and force of will. She didn't know why she knew that, but she put it on her growing list of truths. Along with the fact that she already hated whoever the Savior was more strongly than she had much of a reason for. Saeran loved the Savior, worshipped them, but Zifeara couldn't do it. She worshipped nothing. She lied to him and told him she would do whatever he wanted.

Things changed after that. She and Saeran had always slept together, but now he was… clingier. Even during the day he touched her more. Differently. She was worried she’d upset him till he had a particularly bad nightmare. He held her painfully, still scared from whatever had transpired in his mind, but the way he looked at her…

 

_“Zifeara, what is the first of your rules?”_

 

Well that was an easy question, but she wasn't sure where he was going with this.

 

“To do what you ask me to without question. Why do you ask?”

 

That seemed contradictory to what she had just said, but he didn't seem to mind. He quickly wrapped his hands around her wrists, using his weight to push her back onto the bed and using the element of surprise to straddle her before she could even think to move. He held her wrists level with her face, bringing his head down to be just next to her ear.

 

_“I'm done waiting for the Savior to tell me what I can and can't do with my own assistant. You're mine and I'm going to prove it. Now be good for me and let me take you to Paradise~”_

 

What he said and the way he said it sent a shiver down her spine. _That_ feeling she remembered. Saeran kissed her roughly, humming at the feeling before running his tongue over her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth, giving herself over to him like he asked. She liked what she was feeling pressing against her leg.

He wasn't gentle, far from it, biting marks into her shoulders, her chest, her thighs as he worked his tongue over every inch of her that he could get to. He left no marks anywhere they could be seen by anyone else, meaning that all of them were hers. Theirs. She returned the favor when he let her, delighting in the hiss of pleasure he gave when she sank her teeth into his skin hard enough to draw blood. He liked being hurt even more than she did. She made sure to make up for how she abused his flesh in the way she sucked him off, making him all but scream her name. Making him pull her back up to him when he was done to taste himself on her tongue, moaning into her mouth and razing his nails down her back. Flipping their positions to pound himself into her with more force than she thought he could manage from how much muscle he was lacking. If she couldn't remember much before, she definitely couldn't now. All she knew right then was how much she loved the feel of Saeran inside her, biting into her shoulder hard as she came undone for him, not stopping just because she was sated. How alive she felt hearing him growl in her ear that she was being so good for him, that she was his princess and he _loved her_ , that he would do anything in the world for her if she would come for him again. Say his name louder. Tell him she _needed_ him. She would do anything he asked her to if he promised not to stop till she couldn't bare to move anymore. He promised. He would give his princess whatever she wanted. She was his.

 

***

 

Saeran hadn't felt this happy in probably his whole life. He made sure not to tell the Savior about what he had done last night. Not to leave even a sliver of his marked skin visible today. He had been proven right when their voice dripped with venom.

 

_“Do you miss it that much?”_

 

He waited for them to continue, dreading this was what he feared it to be about.

 

 _“The sensation of another body on yours? The feel of skin beneath your fingers? I know you sleep with her, Saeran. You've not requested a second bed. Does she_ **_please_ ** _you?”_

 

He swallowed as their green eyes bored into his own. He had never lied to the Savior before.

 

“Not in the way that you do, Savior. She is nothing to be compared to you.”

 

This seemed to greatly satisfy them. And it wasn't a lie. Zifeara wasn't even close to the Savior. She was far better. She was his. Their accusing smile became a smug smirk. They turned and waved him away. Saeran left quickly, eager to get back to his own room. He felt nauseous. He knew damn well what ‘special reward’ the Savior wanted to give him for successfully inducting Zifeara and he wanted no part of it. But he'd have to do it. He had to do whatever his Savior wanted him to, even if that meant submitting his body to them.

He returned to his office where he had left his assistant, collapsing into her lap and starting to lose his composure. He hadn't had an attack in a while, but today the stress was high. He couldn't let Zifeara mark him like she had last night for a while. Her evaluation was coming up and he couldn't let the Savior know that she was much more than his assistant.

 

The day of her evaluation was upon them, but naturally, something had to go wrong. As they were making their way to lunch, some of the other disciples decided today would be the best time to mess with them. They had been jealous of Saeran getting his own assistant from day one, always staring at her or making comments about her that were not nearly quiet enough for him not to hear. Today they crossed a line. The four older men cornered them, offering taunts and leering, making a general nuisance of themselves. Everything changed when one of them pushed him into a wall.

Zifeara snapped. She grabbed the nearest disciple, twisting his arm painfully behind his back before kicking him forward, making him run into the other wall. She flipped the second over her as he moved forward to attempt to grab her, kicked the third's legs out from under him to send him crashing to the floor, and tore the fourth away from Saeran, bending his body to her liking till he was a crumpled mess on the ground. She loomed over his pained figure, surely having dislocated a thing or two, putting her head right next to his ear.

 

 _“Don't you ever,_ **_ever_ ** _touch my boss again.”_

 

Saeran was warm. Very, physically warm. Saying he was turned on was an understatement, but it was more than that too. He had remembered an awful lot about why he'd chosen her to be his assistant, but he hadn’t thought that her protective attitude towards him would translate from childhood. He definitely hadn't thought she could throw grown men around like that. He was… dumbstruck. Sort of flattered that she'd do that for him. And then he was proud. _His_ princess kicked their asses because they decided to fuck with him.

 

 _“Saeran? Did your assistant just take out four of our disciples?”_ The Savior's tone behind him was enough to turn all that pride into dread.

 

He turned quickly, stumbling over his words. “S-Savior! She was- was merely defending me! These disciples were behaving rather shamefully and-”

 

The Savior cut him off by raising her hand, staring at the woman she had never seen now standing directly behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Saeran found that Zifeara was maintaining icy eye contact with the Savior. Like he had told her not to. He was about to reprimand her and make her kneel, but the Savior was faster.

 

_“Hmm. She’s quite… interesting, Saeran. I’d like to borrow her for a few hours.”_

 

“Wh-what…?” He couldn’t believe what he had just heard to be true. He knew Rika would likely recognize Zifeara, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He had hoped that telling her to be quiet and respectful no matter what would be enough, but his assistant had a will of her own.

 

 _“Is that going to be a problem, Saeran?”_ The Savior was now glaring at him, though that unsettling smile of theirs never faltered.

 

“Of- of course not, Savior. Anything you wish.” He turned slightly, hiding the look he was now giving his assistant though his voice was steady. “Zifeara, you must go with the Savior. Whenever they release you, come straight back to the office; I have plenty for you to do and I don’t want you wasting time. Do you understand?”

 

Zifeara narrowed her eyes for a fraction of a second, but responded with an equally neutral tone. _“Yes, Saeran. I’ll see you later.”_

 

Zifeara moved around him, taking the Savior’s outstretched hand and following them down the hallway. Down to the Savior’s room. There was one of two things about to happen; either the Savior was going to test her to see if he had initiated her properly or was going to punish his assistant for defending him. He could only plead silently for it not to be the latter.

It was probably only 3 hours at most before he heard the familiar click of the door to his office unlocking. Saeran swiveled his chair around and jumped from it, rushing to pull Zifeara into the room and checking her over for any signs of injuries he’d need to treat.

 

“Zifeara, are you alright? You aren’t hurt at all? The Savior was pleased?”

 

Zifeara swatted his hands away and smiled. _“Yeah babe, I’m fine. Actually, they wanted to get to know me better. We had tea and they asked me a lot about myself. I told them what I could remember. They actually… want to train me for a new job.”_

 

His face paled. A… _new_ job? But she was his assistant; his reward for being so diligent over the years and successfully hacking into the RFA!

 

“What kind of job? Zifeara, you’re mine, they can’t just-”

 

 _“Shhh, I know.”_ She took his face in both her hands and brought their noses together. _“I’ll still be your assistant, I’ll just have more to do. I’ll need to be gone a few hours each day while the Savior trains me for whatever this is, but they assured me I still get to stay with you.”_

 

Saeran relaxed into her touch, wrapping his arms around her waist and taking a deep breath. He really didn’t want to start panicking now for no reason.

 

“You’re sure? You actually asked that?”

 

_“Of course I did. I don’t want to go anywhere else either. I belong with you.”_

 

He could feel a smile working its way across his face.

 

“Yes, you do. You’re _my_ princess and I won’t let anyone else have you, not even the Savior.”

 

Saeran pressed a kiss to the top of Zifeara’s head as he felt her chuckle.

 

_“I know, babe. I’m yours and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now then, I don’t suppose you have to get back to work right away, do you~?”_

 

***

 

It was a few weeks of lessons with the Savior before she would finally tell Saeran what it was they were training her for. Zifeara wanted to make sure it was a definite thing that way if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t get too excited. The Savior had actually liked what they had seen when they rounded the corner to Zifeara opening up a jar of whoop ass on the disciples threatening her boss. The Savior told her they could use that. They taught her how to put her ruthless nature and aggressive tendencies to good use. Today she had been given her first real assignment, so it was time to impart upon her boyfriend how important this new job was to Mint Eye. Though she didn’t like why she was doing what she was, Zifeara was rather good at reconditioning the disciples. Her ability to beat them into submission using nothing but her bare hands in order to make them take their pills seemed to greatly please the Savior. It made far less work for them. When she told Saeran that’s what she’d be doing on and off for the next foreseeable future, at first he didn’t seem very happy. Turns out he was just shocked _his_ assistant was such a good disciple that she was given a role of similar importance to his own. He was so _proud_ of her. They had to celebrate somehow. He got permission for them to head into town and he took her anywhere she wanted to go. Saeran was in such a good mood that Zifeara didn’t tell him that all this time she was spending with the Savior was making the wheels in her head turn slowly. Turn about something they probably shouldn’t have. Zifeara still didn’t like the Savior at all. And now that she was in such a position of power and trust, there might be something she could do about it.

 

***

 

Things were good. Really good. Zifeara passed her days drawing, filing, fucking, torturing assholes who the Savior decided were out of line, and thinking. At this point, she had a plan. One she was slowly but surely turning Saeran on to. She had him make her a spreadsheet of those scheduled for reconditioning and the Savior had given her permission to add disciples to it as she saw fit. Zifeara had absolute trust. At first she didn’t do anything noticeable. She would tell Saeran he was missing a number or two, making him schedule people who the Savior hadn’t asked to be reconditioned at all. Then she stared adding people herself with no pretense, seeing if he would say anything about it. He didn’t. Then she outright tested him, trying to determine if she could fully include him in her agenda.

 

_“Ah, ah, f-fuck, Zifeara!”_

 

She was on Saeran’s lap, happily distracting him for his work, biting into his shoulder as he thrust into her. This wasn’t the first time today, but it would be the most important. Moving her mouth back up to his, she could tell he was getting close. She pushed down hard on his hips, making him moan into her mouth and stopping his eager movements.

 

_“God, why the fuck-”_

 

Zifeara met his irritated minty glare with her own shrewd gaze.

 

“Saeran, you’d, ha, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you, babe?”

 

He was panting but it was obvious by his tone that he was annoyed.

 

_“What… You really had to stop me for that? You know I w-would.”_

 

“You love me?”

 

_“Fuck, yes!”_

 

He tried to resume their activities, but she pulled away before he could kiss her again and pressed her hips down harder.

 

“More than you respect the Savior?”

 

Saeran’s eyes widened and his body stiffened. He had never known her to be jealous before, but that was borderline blasphemous. He knew she didn’t really believe in the Savior the same way he did, but this was something she had never brought up before. He swallowed hard before giving his hushed answer.

 

_“...Yes.”_

 

Zifeara smiled, eyes gleaming with approval.

 

“Good. I’m sick of the way she treats you. There’s something I want you to do for me, Saeran. To help me with.”

 

He scanned her face, searching for what sort of trouble she wanted to include him in. It would be very bad considering what she had just asked, but… he couldn’t say he wasn’t tempted. He did love her and his devotion to the Savior had been walking a thin line between barely hanging on and falling off completely for months now. He had been thinking of a lot of things he shouldn’t have. Like taking his assistant and leaving Mint Eye. Zifeara thought they could do it, but she hadn’t convinced him of it. Now it seemed like she had other plans.

 

_“What can I do for you, Princess?”_

 

Saeran felt his cock twitch as Zifeara rose slowly to tower above him. The smile on her face was one of affection, but the look in her eyes was only malice.

 

“You’re going to help me make some _friends_.”

 

***

 

It had been an entire year and a half since the Mint Eye hacker had taken Zifeara. The chances of finding her were now almost non-existent and logically Malaya knew that. But that didn’t stop her from keeping her eyes and ears open at all times, even if Michael and later even Kai had forced her to stop constantly searching. Saeyoung was the same way. He had taken up a full time position with the Underground, helping them do surveillance and hacking computers where necessary, but he hadn’t stopped looking either. Not really.

 

 _“Kai, this is the third time you’ve completely dropped your soldering iron and nearly burned a hole in the table.”_ Michael had been hovering more than usual around his crew today. He knew why they were particularly distracted, but that didn’t mean they got a pass. Just because today was Zifeara’s birthday didn’t mean everything could come to a screeching halt.

 

Fang was staring at the security camera on the table he was trying to repair. He was pretty sure he’d broken it more at this point, but he couldn’t focus. Not today. He should be at home with his dog. Before going over to Zifeara’s house and feeding her animals. He’d probably sleep there in her bed again tonight.

 

Michael watched him for a few moments before sighing. _“Do you want to go home?”_

 

Kai nodded, not bothering to clean up anything in front of him before standing and wordlessly making his way out of the Underground. He almost forgot to put his shoes on. The only reason he remembered was because Saeyoung threw a pen at him from across the room to make him look down. This wasn’t the first time this week. They were all becoming worse as it got closer to the day.

 

 _“Fang, you’ll freeze if you keep doing that. It’s getting cold out. I’ll… see you later?”_ Saeyoung had been coming by a lot too. They all pretty much lived in that one house.

 

 _“Yeah, man. Later.”_ Kai was out the door and in his car pretty quickly.

 

Malaya swept by Michael and cleaned up Fang’s mess. She’d gotten used to looking after him and Saeyoung over the past few months. She determined the security camera was unsalvageable and chucked it. It wouldn’t be too hard to get a new one.

 

 _“You okay?”_ Michael asked. Malaya nodded and he left her alone, going to hover over someone else. Compared to the boys she was doing fine. It hurt that Zifeara was gone but she needed to look after them now. Zifeara would come back. She didn’t doubt that one bit. Until then she’d continue on, and right now they needed more money. She turned to Saeyoung.

 

“I'm heading out to hit a few spots for some funds. Be back in a day or two?”

 

 _“Yeah. You sure you don’t want to go tomorrow? Me and Kai are gonna do some stuff we would have done under normal circumstances today. Might make you feel better.”_ At least it had gotten to a point where Saeyoung wasn’t so bad anymore. He had been numb for long enough to be almost normal. There were no more memes, but it was normal enough.

 

Malaya huffed, trying to make her next words polite or at least somewhat sympathetic. “No, Michael needs funds for Hellebore’s job in two days. I can’t. I’m fine.” She saw no point in celebrating something for someone who wasn’t here. It was useless? She missed Zifeara but Michael and the others were here and important too.

 

He didn’t look like he believed her but let it go. He wasn’t going to fight her on this. With only one person around to filch things now, money was indeed important. _“Hmm. I’ll make sure Fang doesn’t get too wasted then. Probably gonna play Drink and Drive tonight.”_ He wasn’t sure when he had started drinking, but stopped being worried that he had.

 

“NO.” Malaya resisted the urge to strangle him, and was already turning to find Fell to babysit.

 

_“Mal, relax, I have more self control than you think I do. At least more than Kai has. Besides, this has made us friends in the weirdest way. I don’t let my friends do stupid things. Just sit around and… let it out when we need to. And I think we both really need to tonight. I won’t let him try to pet Oxide again not matter how fuzzy he is.”_

 

Malaya eyed him uncertainly. She really needed to go but she didn’t like the way he was talking. “Just...be careful?”

 

 _“Yeah. I’m an adult, I got this. Kai has it worse. I may have loved her for a long time, but Kai loved her from damn near the time he was born. He has it_ **_way_ ** _worse. I’ll be fine.”_ He returned to his typing, a thing he usually did when he was very done talking or he wouldn’t be able to focus anymore either. This was the time for him to work and he’d have feelings later.

 

“Okay.” She felt awkward. She loved Zifeara too, right? “See you later.” She did not flee from the Underground, nope.

 

***

 

Things were all ready to go. The plan had been going smoothly for a few months now and everything was set for the Savior to give their sermon tomorrow. She and Saeran had checked and double checked literally everything 3 times over before retiring to their room to blow off some steam and sleep before the big day tomorrow. It was only as she was resting on his bruised chest trying to catch her breath that she finally got a feel for how nervous he was.

 

_“Zifeara… what if this… what if it doesn’t work? If the disciples don’t take to it after all?”_

 

The waver in Saeran’s voice told of an anxiety he always carried and she simply scooted up, nuzzling her nose to the pulse point in his neck.

 

“Then we take out everyone who tries to stop us and get the Hell out of here. One way or another, I’m taking you from that bitch that calls herself a savior but still beats you every chance she gets. Still… _uses_ you like she does. She is never going to touch you again, I swear it.” She felt his arms come around her shoulders, squeezing tightly. “And if everything goes well, we get new jobs along with everything we’ve ever wanted.

 

Sometimes she forgot what a sentimental sweetheart Saeran could be anymore.

 

_“You’re already all I’ve ever wanted. We’ll… be okay. You won’t leave me no matter what… right?”_

 

She propped herself up on her elbows and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

 

“Never. I promised.”

 

***

 

_“Disciples of Mint Eye, followers of the darkness, children of Magenta, today I wish to start by praising you for all your hard work.”_

 

The Savior stood before her congregation, arms spread in a gesture to indicate all of them and pouring sweet words over the entire room. The disciples were quiet as she talked, giving their undivided attention. Behind the Savior on either side of her stood her two most important disciples; her right and left hands. Zifeara and Saeran were the law around here and no one forgot it for very long. Truth be told, the only reason anyone feared Saeran anymore was because of the two women who held him in high regard.

 

_“Mint Eye has never seen so many new faces and such reverent obedience as it has these past few months and that is something to be proud of!”_

 

The two figures behind the Savior shared a look, brief and easily missed, but knowing. The Savior had told Zifeara what the context of this sermon would be as they wanted to personally thank her for the gusto she’d taken to her new job. With Zifeara initiating and cleansing disciples, any problems Mint Eye was having seemed to vanish into thin air. They were even about to induct their first member of the RFA; the Savior’s cousin, Yoosung Kim.

 

_“This couldn’t have been accomplished without one of our most prominent members. I’d like to present our star disciple with something as a token of my gratitude and a symbol of her loyalty to Mint Eye.”_

 

They knew what was coming. This same thing had been done for Saeran when he received his motorcycle. Only this time, Zifeara’s reward would either be much greater or that motorcycle was going to come in real handy.

 

_“Zifeara Nightshade, step to me, dear.”_

 

Zifeara did as she was told, coming up behind the Savior to get what was owed to her. Rika never saw it coming.

Zifeara was quick, wrapping a hand around the other woman’s waist to hold her still, using the other to run the blade Saeran had given her earlier across Rika’s throat. The pressure she applied ensured the cut was deep but just so that the blade moved smoothly. Not one of the disciples even batted an eye as their ‘savior’ choked, pressing her hands to her new wound to do something, anything to stop the bleeding and allow her to breathe again. Rebrainwashing people had served its purpose well, it would seem. Zifeara was never one to pass up the chance to gloat, coming around in front of the slowly dying woman to look her in the eye.

 

“You should never have taken what was mine.”

 

If Rika understood that she was referring to Saeran, Zifeara didn’t know and now didn’t care, instead turning to face the gathered crowd while their former leader fell to the ground.

 

“The time of the Savior is over. From today forward, it is the time of the Dragon. This day we become more than a group of lost souls. We become more than hopeless misfits struggling to get by, oppressed by someone who couldn’t care less for us. We become people who get what they want and take it with their own hands. We become partners today. You either enter this with me now or exit through the doors of this building a corpse. You ever cross me and it will be the same way. Do we have an understanding?”

 

The congregation murmured an agreement, a few members stopping the teal haired man that burst through the hall’s double doors in his tracks. When asked what to do with the final remnant of the Savior’s reign, Zifeara only smiled.

 

“What good is he to me? Put him in the ground with his fiance. They shouldn’t be parted. That would be cruel, wouldn’t it?”

 

***

 

In the span of a few weeks, the building Mint Eye had made their home in underwent drastic changes. The white exterior was being removed and replaced with dark stone masonry, the halls were painted darker colors, the carpets replaced with blood red rugs over charcoal tile, the fixtures swapped from gold to silver, and all traces of the former cult erased. The disciples no longer wore those ridiculous robes, no longer addressed each other with numbers, no longer had a confusing hierarchy. They all picked new names for themselves, each and every one related to the new theme of their budding organization. Zifeara had drawn the new seal herself; a stylized dragon curling in a spiral shape, mouth open with a small jet of fire coming out. Mint Eye had been transformed into a dragon’s den, and they were all broodmates. They were a clan. And Clan DragonSoul had a much easier chain of command now.

Everyone had their own special jobs based on what they preferred to do and were good at; all members who stayed at the den and cooked, cleaned, or did other domestic work were Wyrms and there weren’t many of them. All members who proved to be fast and agile, able to pass Zifeara’s rigorous tests but were ultimately lacking in physical strength were Wyverns, more suited to stealth and theft. Those who were heavy hitters and excelled in their sparring matches were straight up Dragons; they were the backup to the Wyverns when something went wrong. There were only three more unique positions held and one was still experimental. Since she had grown fond of him, the first disciple of the old cult Zifeara reprogrammed to follow her was assigned the position of Amphithere; he was the one who helped her oversee new projects and kept everything running smoothly when she was busy. And then there was Saeran. He was the only one to hold the title of Drake. He did literally whatever Zifeara wanted him to and served to keep the other clanmates in line while hacking into computers and camera feeds to help plot out their next move. He was her undisputed second in command for obvious reasons. Zifeara was the only one not assigned a type of dragon. She was simply their Queen.

The hideous throne room Rika had created along with her bedroom were converted into a briefing room that just happened to have a throne in it. The throne stood proudly on a stone pedestal, high enough that Zifeara could supervise from it without having to hover around everyone while they worked. In fact, as she watched over her fledglings with pride, she could see the individual pieces they were working on fitting together. They had their first big job coming up and Zifeara was sure they were ready. Taking over another hive of criminals wasn’t easy, but the closest one to them was making it hard to corner their chosen market. The group to the north of them that also specialized in thievery had to go. Plus they could then loot them for everything they had.

When the time came, Zifeara insisted on going with her chosen group to ensure they would be able to handle things. Saeran couldn’t talk her out of it and she couldn’t seem to talk him out of following right behind them to personally provide assistance from the outside of the building so that he could be right there if something happened. He had others who could do the surveillance from the den. He was following Zifeara wherever she went. He was the only one to not call her his Queen; she would be his princess to the end.

 

“Alright, are we good?”

 

Zifeara watched Saeran’s eyes graze from side to side, soaking in all the information the monitor of his laptop could give him. From what he could see and all the research he’d done, there were only 15 members of this group and they were all inside right now. He nodded. _“Yep. Remember what you promised?”_

 

Her toothy grin didn’t hide the sincerity in her voice.

 

“Yeah, babe. Things go bad enough and I get the Hell out. Don’t worry so much; our fledglings are good little soldiers and they’ve got this. You aren’t losing me tonight.”

 

Saeran didn’t look super convinced, but did nod again and put his headphones on, testing the mic linked to the earpiece she had on. He would warn her if there was something she couldn’t see going on. They had this.

Exiting their van and positioning themselves around the building, Zifeara and her crew were ready to rumble. This was everything she’d been training them for. The old warehouse had plenty of entry points and at her signal, all her brood burst in at once, taking the other clan by surprise. They weren’t as prepared for a seige as they should have been. It was easy enough to take out those closest to the windows, though the ones that had managed to find cover or a weapon were a bit of a challenge. It was over in 20 minutes and with the worst casualty being a gash in the arm of one of her Dragons; he’d protected a Wyvern just as he was supposed to. Now came the fun part. Taking the spoils.

 

“Alright gang, take whatever it is you want. Finders keepers unless I want it.” Zifeara waved a hand over the area and her clan enthusiastically swept the building, starting to lift anything they found appealing. “Saeran, you want to come in and help? Might find a new knife you like~”

 

He gave an affirmative grunt in her ear and soon enough her Drake strode nonchalantly through the now broken doors to the building. She had already started to wander and supervise the looting, swiping the thing or two she desired before helping her grunts haul out the money and gold the recently expired had amassed.

Things had gone well and there was a celebratory feast to be had upon their return. The money and trinkets would be divvied up the following day, so for now they all ate, drank, and indulged in whatever debauchery they felt prudent. When they finally returned to their room in the wee hours of the morning, Zifeara was about to tease Saeran about not even taking anything from their fist raid when he surprised her.

 

“Seriously though, you didn’t want anything at all? It was our first major success!”

 

She sat on their bed, leaning back at least moderately provocatively. She might have been at least a little drunk after the festivities and drunken sex had become one of her favorite activities.

 

Saeran shook his head, wandering over to their dresser and opening a drawer. _"Oh, I definitely took something. No one said it was for me, though.”_

 

He made his way back over to her, whatever he had hidden behind his back no matter how far she leaned to try to see it. He laughed as she tried to reach behind him to get it, alcohol making her more of a nuisance than usual. _“Patience, princess, patience~”_

 

Zifeara huffed and rolled her eyes, grin not fading as she crossed her arms and resumed her seat on the edge of the bed. She knew Saeran loved to tease her, but no one said she had to make it easy for him. He leaned over her, whispering into her ear. _“Be a good girl and close your eyes for me. Maybe then I’ll give you what you want.”_

 

“Are we talking about what’s behind your back or in your pants?”

 

_“Hahahaha, both if you’re lucky~”_

 

She couldn’t argue with that. Zifeara did as he asked, becoming rather confused when she felt him set something on her head. It felt like some sort of hat and was a tad heavy, completely not what she expected. She opened her eyes when he took her hands and pulled, getting her to stand up.

 

“Uhhh, Saeran? What-?”

 

 _“Come see for yourself.”_ He led her to the full length mirror they had and she audibly gasped when her mouth fell open at the sight of the object gracing her skull.

 

The silver crown stood out brilliantly against her ebony hair, set in rubies seeming to glow against the bright metal. It wasn’t massive or too pointed, but it did elaborately curve and dip; this thing was clearly made for a woman. She raised a shaking hand to touch the stones, trying to somehow determine if they were real just by feel alone.

 

 _“Every queen needs a crown. This one seemed to suit you too well for me to let one of the broodmates pawn it off to some aristocrat who deserved it far less than_ **_my_ ** _princess. Do… do you like it?”_

 

“Are you kidding me, I love it… It’s… it’s beautiful.”

 

 _“Hmm. Then it was worth threatening a Wyvern for. Now, what was that other thing you wanted? I believe,”_ he cooed, running a hand down each of her sides, _“it had something to do with me~”_

 

***

 

Clan DragonSoul was flourishing. They had taken out 5 rival groups, were making a killing in stolen valuables and fencing items for others, had nearly 80 members who all had anything they could ask for, and most importantly were one giant family. There was no jealousy, no ill will, very little bickering, and not a single one of them had been lost in any of their activities so far.

As much as Zifeara had built this empire, there was one thing that still remained from the days of Mint Eye: the questionable drug of Rika’s creation. All members were still at least somewhat addicted to it and it was still being produced in their kitchens. The only difference now was that they all took a massively decreased dose from what the ‘savior’ had been requiring them to, meaning they were all high-functioning addicts. They all knew what taking too much could do to their minds and it kept them from doing so. Aside from that, there was absolutely nothing amiss in the kingdom. In fact, they were about to take on the most challenging obstacle yet; a small guild preventing them from spreading their influence further south. They may not have many members, but they seemed to be a force to be reckoned with. So much so that Saeran was having problems hacking into their systems to find out more about them and exactly what they were up against. No one liked the uncertainty of what they were getting themselves into, but it couldn’t be avoided. These people were in the way and with a growing family, they needed a larger circle in which to do what they did best. It was only a matter of time before they moved, with or without proper surveillance. What could one tiny place do against a whole den of dragons?

 

***

 

There was something wrong, Michael could feel it in the air. The gangs up north had started to go quiet over the past year and the silence was getting closer. Hellebore could find no trace of their former contacts and deals were going through unchallenged. He didn’t like it, it felt too much like when the Days were compromised and he was already taking steps to protect his people. He’d restricted Malaya’s and Hellebore’s movements to within town only and Kumo had been banished from the Black Market until it was deemed safe; only Dominic knew where she was. Dominic himself, after refusing to stay with his sister, was overstocking their supplies with Harbinger and Fell, the latter two keeping a tight watch over Fang. Michael had even warned Adelaide to stay away. As for Saeyoung...well he didn’t know what to do with Saeyoung. The redhead didn’t seem to pay any mind to the fact that people were essentially being evacuated from the premises. The only other place he had to go was his bunker that he returned to every night, but he didn’t really take the hint to stop physically coming in to work. That meant Malaya was hovering too. At this point Michael was tempted to ask the redhead’s other organization to keep an ear open.

 

 _“Alright, what the fuck is this?”_ The hacker had been mumbling about something all morning and it hadn’t let up. _“Just why? What are you doing you little shit?”_

 

_“What’s wrong, Sparky?”_

 

Saeyoung didn’t tear his eyes from the screen in front of him, fingers furiously assaulting his keys. _“Some absolute ass has the audacity to try to hack my computers. I don’t even know how they_ **_found_ ** _the Underground’s stuff, but they are really set on getting in. They’re… kinda good, if I’m honest. Been really harshing my mellow today.”_

 

Michael and Malaya glanced at each other. “Burn the info, Saeyoung. We have backups. I think it’s time we found a new hideout for a bit. I don’t like where this is going.”

 

_“Well guys, I’d love to do that, but this bastard has a lock on everything I have. As in it’s all frozen in a block of ice and both of us are trying to get to it first with opposing flamethrowers. I don’t know who’s faster, me or him. I’m trying to track where this is coming from but… they’re like… me levels of good. Which I’ve-”_

 

The redhead’s face went from regularly introverted ginger levels of pale to corpse. _“_ **_Fuck._ ** _”_ He started throwing things around his desk, slamming open drawers and flinging their contents looking for something or another. Becoming irritated when he couldn’t find what he was after, Saeyoung shoved his chair back hard enough that it rolled into something before sprinting into the deeper levels of the base.

 

“Get him to fabricate a different base for us. Maybe that old warehouse of his old employers. If someone’s coming after us I want the high ground.” Michael growled and pulled out his phone, texting Hellebore and Dominic as fast as he could. This was _not_ going to be another Day massacre if he could help it. Malaya nodded and charged after Saeyoung.

 

The sound of things being thrown carelessly filled the air as words in multiple languages were tossed just as indiscriminately. He was digging through filing cabinets and displacing unhelpful folders by the dozen. He hadn’t been this animated in almost 2 years.

 

Malaya grabbed at his arm, pulling him to a stop. “Stop. What are you looking for?”

 

Saeyoung’s eyes were huge and he’d broken out into a sweat. _“_ _Sore wa karedesu. Hakkā. 2-Nen mae to onaji hakkā!”_  He pulled his phone out, typing so fast he had to start over.

 

Malaya smacked at him. “Try again! And this time pick one of the ten languages I **do** know.”

 

He pulled at his hair a bit, rolling his eyes. _“Nakah {Fuck}! The hacker, it’s the_ **_fucking_ ** _RFA hacker! I swear, I know the algorithms he’s using, it’s the_ **_same guy_ ** _! I-”_ Whoever was on the other side of the phone must have answered because he went back to digging and instead started talking to them. _“Get over here right now, I have something. Yes, this time it is. No, I’m as sure about this as I am the consistency of binary._ **_Now_ ** _, Kai.”_

 

The RFA hacker? Malaya growled and had to stop herself from yanking on Saeyoung’s arm again. She really hated that guy. He took Zifeara from them and now he was back for the rest of her family? Absolutely not! She stepped in front of Saeyoung.

 

“What. Are. You. Looking. For?” She hissed at him. She was small but she would sit on him until he answered if she had too.

 

He had already hung up on Fang, so he was definitely trying to form words for her. _“Files. I have a pile of folders_ **_somewhere_ ** _in here from the last time I was trying to find the hacker. Of everything I had on him. I knew it was a bad idea to put the in the same type of folder as_ **_everything else_ ** _in here…  If only I knew where I put them, I could-”_

 

Malaya shoved him back, walked across the room to a different filing cabinet, opened the third drawer down and pulled out a set of thick folders bound together with a bungee cord. She shoved it into his arms.

 

“Calm down. Michael wants you to try and lead them to the old warehouse where your agency used to operate. We are going to try and ambush them there if needed. Don't worry about giving anything up. The only files we keep on the computers are incomplete. You know this. The codes to complete or unlock anything important are unique and are only accessible from my tablet. Let them in and lead them astray. At least give us time to prepare. Can you do that for us?”

 

He blinked a few times, looking back and forth from her to the files in his hands before a large smirk spread across his face. _“You’re beautifully terrifying, you know that? Alright, I’m going to go do things, when Kai gets here, tell him not to bother me and sort through these files for anything to do with the locations we were searching for the hacker, yeah?”_

 

“Gotcha. I’m going to go help Michael and Dominic prepare the area.” She waved her phone. “Keep me updated?”

 

 _“If I remember to, sure. I’m about to be very busy. I have some well deserved digital ass kicking to do.”_ He started to return to his desk, mumbling to himself once he thought he was out of Mal’s range of hearing. _“I’m gonna fuck this guy up, Zifeara. Real hard.”_

 

***

 

He had found them. He should be happy, but he didn’t like it. Saeran scanned the information again and again, certain he had gotten this right, but… something was wrong. He had been fighting whoever ran the Underground’s computers for a couple of days now and suddenly he got what he wanted? Bullshit. Nothing was ever that easy. They were up to something.

 

“Zifeara, come see this.”

 

She was on the other side of the room, pouring over a report a Dragon had just given her on how good their most recent haul had been from an outing, so she finished what she was reading before moving to lean over the back of his chair. _“Yes my love, what is it?”_

 

As much as he’d gotten used to their terms of endearment, it was still a little… embarrassing to him when he was the only one she didn’t refer to by title while in front of the broodmates. Shaking his head to hide his blush, Saeran pointed at the string of coordinates on the screen.

 

“I found them. It’s a coffee shop but…”

 

He wasn’t sure if he was overreacting or not. He knew he was a very good hacker, so it was inevitable that he would find their enemies.

 

 _“What is it, babe?”_ There was no demanding edge in Zifeara’s voice, a change he would have thought he’d become accustomed to. Whenever the Savior… Rika had caught on to his apprehensions, she would have automatically become annoyed with him. Zifeara only ever gently pushed him into telling her what she wanted or doing something she asked. It was still a bit jarring to expect anger but receive kindness and… affection. She never stopped the shower of affection he was always bathed in and it was… nice. Saeran sighed.

 

“There’s something wrong about this. It was too easy to find compared to how bothersome whoever guards all this stuff has been. I don’t have a good feeling about any of it…”

 

He had never said something like this to her before. He had only ever given her the facts she needed to do what she wanted. He’d never voiced his own opinion. He was prepared for the repercussions. Zifeara stared as his screens though he knew she couldn’t read most of what was on them. He was surprised when she only nodded.

 

_“Okay. I think for once we might have a bit of a challenge on our hands. If you feel like that was too easy then you’re probably right; they’re likely trying to lead us astray. Keep looking for any other place they might be, but pull up the other coordinates on a map for me. Even if they aren’t real, we have to be thorough. We can send some Wyverns to scout around town tomorrow.”_

 

She patted his shoulder and wandered out of the room, most likely to inspect their new loot. Zifeara… accepted what he had told her. _Trusted_ his intuition. Saeran knew he was her second in command, but he had been that for Mint Eye as well. He had never _felt_ this important before…

He plugged the numbers into the satellite mapping program, a confused smile spreading across his face. He didn’t know what to do with this feeling he had. Zifeara had become so much more to him than any person had the right to be. He knew he was attracted to her after just a week of having her with him, but it got out of control fast. He started remembering her. Remembering what she had always been to him. She didn’t though, at least not to the extent that he did. She had more holes in her memories than he had at this point, but that was what the drug of salvation did when you were given too much; wiped your brain completely of the last 2 to 6 years of your life and various bits before that, allowing you to be remade into whatever was needed. And he had remade Zifeara to be his. He never dreamed it could have worked out as well as it had. Saeran was content enough with how things were that… he didn’t even care about his brother anymore. While Saeyoung suffered in the agency he had run off to so that he could abandon his twin, he sat here with more power than he’d ever thought he could obtain, anything he wanted just a snap of his fingers away, and _partner_ to the one woman _both_ twins had always wanted. Saeran had won and Saeyoung had lost. He was happy.

 

***

 

“Listen up!”

 

The brood settled down, echoed voices becoming still as Zifeara stood before them, map of the area they were about to invade displayed on the largest monitor in the room. Every single member that wasn’t a Wyrm was present as this was going to be their most dangerous siege yet. They had less information than usual this time.

 

“According to what we know, this faction has approximately ten members in total, making it the smallest we’ve ever taken. However, do not let that fool you; these people are the hardest to scout as well. They’re good. That’s why we’re taking the whole brood this time. All sixty of you are coming with us on this one, the only problem is that we have to split you into two groups.”

 

She stood just under the screen as Saeran made it zoom in to a specific location.

 

“This is where group number one is headed. We believe this location to be potentially a decoy. Therefor, the unbalanced team will be sent here, the one with a few more Wyverns than Dragons. Meanwhile,” the screen panned elsewhere, “Saeran and I will take the regular team here. He found this warehouse buried deeper in their files and thinks it’s where they really are.”

 

She gave them a rundown of the battle plan, emphasizing the importance of excess caution and reminding them that if things didn’t look good that they were to retreat. She didn’t want to lose anyone.

 

“FlintWing.” She turned to the Amphithere, placing her hands on his shoulders. “You get to lead our first group. I think you’re ready for it by now and I’ll be busy elsewhere. Keep them safe.”

 

The man nodded, large smile breaking out over his face. He had so far proved to be a wise choice for a leadership position so Zifeara had been giving him additional training for just such an occasion.

 

“In the event that we’ve chosen wrong and my team is not the one to finish our enemies off, you loot nothing until we regroup. Understood?”

 

They all murmured agreement. The knew the rules. Zifeara and Saeran got first crack at what they wanted.

 

“Good. Let’s go.”

 

***

 

This building didn’t look like it could be a hideout for so much as a few rats much the less an organization of humans. They had chosen wrong. Probably. Saeran scowled at the structure in front of him as he made his way down the street, somewhat disappointed in himself. He had let Zifeara down; it was the coffee shop after all. He continued going past the building, making sure he was a few blocks away before speaking into his earpiece.

 

“They aren’t there. It’s the other one. We sent the Wyverns to the right place, do you think they’ll be okay to start or should we go now?”

 

Zifeara’s voice in his ear sounded uncertain. _“Saeran, did you spend more than three seconds looking around or did you just glance it? Because I have a sneaking suspicion you were right. The Wyverns tell me they see nothing at the coffee shop. Not even a lookout at the counter.”_

 

“I…” Just walked right by it. Once. Quickly. Because I don’t like this. “Well if they are here, I can’t walk by them twice. Go for broke, then?”

 

There was a pause. _“Yeah. Get back here and we’re on. I’m not being subtle about this one. It’s war.”_

 

He nodded to himself, hurrying the last block or so to the rest of the brood. Zifeara had them all happily tucked away well out of sight of their target. Once he returned, he showed her where all the doors and windows he’d seen were along with anywhere somebody he hadn’t bothered to look for probably was. Which she definitely shot him a look for. He was used to doing this on his laptop for fuck’s sake.

The plan was they would all circle the building before closing in, a few of the Dragons getting some high ground so that they could provide cover for everyone else. Zifeara called the other team, instructing about half of them to make their way over here. The other den was here, she could feel it. Saeran made sure everyone’s earpieces were still working correctly before Zifeara made sure they were all well armed. It was time.

 

All the broodmates spread out, moving in pairs to their positions in a wide radius around the target building. It wasn’t until they were around 20 feet away that someone chimed in her ear.

 

_“We got company. Snipers. I only see one, but I bet there’s more. West side, roof of a red building, short fucker. Looks like a rock. What do we do?”_

 

Zifeara considered it a moment. If there were snipers about, that meant the other side was probably waiting for provocation. Snipers couldn’t take all of them at once, but she didn’t like the odds. She hadn’t lost a single person yet and didn’t want to start. She had an idea, but it was a stupid idea that she would bet money Saeran wouldn’t let her get away with.

 

“Stay close. Stay behind something. I think I have an idea.”

 

She glanced sideways and sure enough Saeran was giving her a disapproving stare. _“I’m not going to like this, am I?”_

 

She smirked. “Probably not, babe. Suppose I can’t get you to stay out here with the brood, can I?”

 

_“Not a fucking chance. What are you doing?”_

 

“Saying hello.”

 

Zifeara got within about 15 feet of the building before Saeran faltered. _“Oh no, you are not doing this right now. You’re going to get yourself shot!”_

 

“Have they shot me yet? Look how close we are. You won’t stay with the brood, you won’t leave me alone, pick your battles, babe.”

 

She continued to leisurely wander right up towards the front doors- well, where the front doors used to be- on the structure, nearly tripping over Saeran with as close to her side as he was. Sure, _now_ he was looking around everywhere. Another voice sounded in her ear. One of her Wyverns.

 

_“We’ve got another one. North side, another male, armed to the teeth. Are you sure about this?”_

 

Zifeara hummed, getting as close as 5 feet when she stopped. Looking into the darkened building, she could hear something. Saeran tensed. It sounded like someone had taken the initiative to come greet them. Both she and Saeran raised the pistols in their hands to ensure whoever they were about to say hi to wouldn’t immediately be a problem.

Of all the things Zifeara thought today would be, painful was not one of them.

 

***

 

 _“No… There’s… there’s no_ **_fucking_ ** _way, say that again.”_

 

Next to her, Fang was visibly shaking. Malaya gripped her gun tighter, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. No way.

 

 _“I swear it!”_ Harbinger’s voice came over the comms. _“It’s Zifeara! She’s leading the small army!”_

 

 _“Nobody do anything stupid.”_ Michael said calmingly. _“Malaya can you see her better?”_

 

Malaya peeked out from behind her cover but she’d chosen it because it wasn’t in direct sight of the front door. “Negative.”

 

 _“Can literally any-anyone else see her…”_ Fang wasn’t doing well. It had been the hardest on him.

 

Saeyoung was the next to say something. _“Dude, relax, we don’t know for sure… It could just be someone who-”_

 

 _“Don’t you tell me there’s_ **_anyone_ ** _else who looks just like her. You know there isn’t.”_ Kai wasn’t entirely wrong. It was what had made Zifeara good at what she did.

 

Two sharp sounding beeping clicks came over the headset as Fell confirmed what Harbinger said. Malaya cursed a bit.

 

“What do we do Michael? She has to know its us.”

 

 _“No!”_ Kai sounded like he was going to cry. _“Something happened to her. She got kidnapped for fuck’s sake, Zifeara would never… never hurt us. She’s loyal, you know that, Mal, she-”_

 

“Shut up Kai! I’m not calling her a _traitor!_ But that doesn’t mean she didn’t give us up. It's been two years! There’s so much that could’ve gone-”

 

Fang stood, completely blowing any cover he had to glare down at her. _“Malaya, you say one more thing like that about my_ **_sister_ ** _and I’ll shoot you myself.”_

 

Malaya narrowed her eyes. “I’m saying that she might have a plan. If you blow it before we figure it out, you won’t get a chance to shoot me.” The comms were deathly quiet.

 

Saeyoung’s voice from somewhere near them was hushed and above all else, nervous. _“Uh, guys?”_ He was the one who had direct line of sight on the door. _“I… shit.”_

 

That was all Fang needed. He knew by the hacker’s tone what that meant. It was true. Zifeara was _right there_. He wasn’t okay. He vaulted the burned out crate he was still standing by before Malaya could stop him. If he stayed just out of sight, he couldn’t get shot. He had to see her, to know she was still the woman he’d known his entire memorable life.

He ducked behind steel pillars and anything else still standing, swiftly approaching the doorway that now had two shadows stretching into it. Zifeara had brought a friend. And the shadows looked armed. If he came from the other side of the doorway, he could probably take their weapons. At least take the one from whoever wasn’t Zifeara.

It was as good a plan as any. Fang charged the last few feet to the doorway, throwing himself around it and fluidly grabbing the pistol from the much shorter man who hadn’t dodged out of his way. Holding the confiscated weapon to the man’s head, he turned to figure out what the Hell was going on with Zifeara. It broke his heart to see that she was pointing her own gun in perfect line right between his eyes. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her eyes so cold.

 

There was a chorus of alarmed reactions from everyone over the comms before Michael and Malaya re-established order.

 

“Michael! Plan Night Watch! Get everyone out. Fang and Zifeara are insane!” Malaya launched herself out into the open and shot in Zifeara’s general direction, trying to aim as close to her gun hand as possible without actually hitting her. Over the comms, Michael was enacting their escape plan.

 

Fang heard the bullet whizz right by Zifeara, but she didn’t even flinch. Her eyes were locked on his. Malaya was running towards them and he was willing to bet she wouldn’t miss next time. Fang had one of his own pistols in his left hand, so he turned his body and shot right in front of Mal’s feet. If he knew her, he knew she’d roll. Which gave him enough time to put himself in between her and Zifeara. He towered over his sister, watching as her narrowed eyes scanned his face. She hadn’t moved her gun. She wasn’t shooting him. The guy Fang had trapped by the point of his own weapon hadn’t moved a hair. He had just watched someone of the gang they were attacking stop Zifeara from getting shot. This was about to be bad in one way or another.

 

Malaya aimed her second pistol at the random dude and tried to circle a bit, trying to see if Zifeara was still threatening Fang. “Fang I swear if she’s still aiming a gun at you-” She growled, no idea where she was going with that threat.

 

 _“She is.”_ Michael said quietly from wherever he was. Malaya wasn’t surprised. Plan Night Watch meant everyone _left_ to hide in ally territory. But he wouldn’t leave without her.

 

Fang was talking, but it wasn’t to them. _“Zia, where have you been? We’ve been really worried about you…”_

 

The guy Fang had the other pistol pointed at looked quickly from the gun in his face to Zifeara, tilting his head slightly. He didn’t dare speak.

 

“Come on Zifeara, let’s get out of here! You’re safe now.” Something told Malaya that wasn’t going to work. Something was _wrong._ Out of the corner of her eye she saw a red blur and hissed in annoyance.

 

Saeyoung had moved in closer, clearly close to losing it as Fang had. At least he was still okay for now. He didn’t like the way any of this was happening, but at least he could be somewhat rational. For now.

 

Kai was close to breaking. He could feel his eyes watering more and more the longer Zifeara didn’t say anything. She hadn’t moved her gun an inch and he didn’t know if he had the heart to do anything about it. He knew he’d done the right thing by keeping her safe from Mal once confusion started to ease into her expression.

 

 _“You’re… you’re on my tablet…”_ She looked over his face more pointedly this time, voice cracking as she continued. _“Who are you?”_

 

That was it. He choked out a half sob half laugh as he lowered the gun from whoever was standing next to him.

 

“Zifeara, it’s me, Kai… I’m your brother…”

 

She shook her head, hand holding her pistol shaking slightly. _“I’m an only child. You can’t be. Who_ **_are_ ** _you?”_

 

“Okay, okay, no. I’m not _technically_ your brother- we’ve been friends since you were three. Fang. You’ve been calling me Fang since you could talk. Ever since I lost my baby teeth first and they grew in way too big. Remember? I’m your best friend, Zia.”

 

The guy that was now way less threatened wasn’t having this. He took his gun back with literally no fight whatsoever, now aiming it at Fang’s head. Kai was too much of a mess to stop him and the movement put him too close to Fang for Mal to shoot him.

 

 _“Saeran!”_ Zifeara finally pointed her gun to the floor. _“I… he’s right, I- He’s…”_

 

 _“Wh...what…?”_ Saeyoung’s voice came from somewhere in the darkened room.

 

Saeran’s eyes snapped from the man he now had his gun pointed at to the source of the very familiar sound. This was impossible. There was no _fucking_ way that… He saw the mess of red hair and his knees started to shake. No. He was finally happy. This couldn’t be happening to him. No, no, no. Saeyoung was not here to take this from him.

 

“Inferno.”

 

They were killing all of them. All their broodmates copied and started to rush the building. They were killing all of the members of whatever organization this was and then they were going home to-

 

 _“Don’t you dare!”_ Zifeara finally looked at him. She was not happy. _“Snuff it. Amphithere, roost. Don’t worry about us, I’ve got this.”_

 

What was she doing? They couldn’t take all of these people on, not with just the two of them. Especially since he was not made for this.

 

“Zifeara-”

 

 _“Shut up, Saeran. Who is he?”_ The look she was giving him was probably the only time he’d ever seen her that way. She couldn’t settle on angry or sad.

 

_“Why is he on my tablet? He has been this whole time. Saeran, who. Is. He.”_

 

Shit. That was one of her holes. She didn’t remember her family. He wished he could forget his. Saeyoung’s voice got closer, but he didn’t notice. He recognized the look Zifeara was giving him now. She felt betrayed.

 

This was getting **way** out of control and she needed to get her boys out of here. Preferably _with_ Zifeara but that looked like a shrinking possibility.

 

“Fang, we need to get out of here.” Malaya said gently. She was still trying to nudge herself around the group to get an angle on Pinky. “Sparky, help me out!”

 

 _“Mal, that’s…”_ Saeyoung’s eyes were wide and he was staring at the man next to Fang. He took a step forward. _“That’s…”_

 

Shit he wasn’t helpful at all. “Michael.”

 

_“Don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”_

 

Fang said something else. _“Watashi to kite. Ie ni kaerimashou.”_ It didn’t make her feel better.

 

“Uh, nope. Gonna do the thing. I trust you.” Then she charged at Pinky.

 

 _“Mal, don’t-”_ Saeyoung wasn’t fast enough to stop her. But Zifeara was. Her eyes darted over Fang’s shoulder and she moved swiftly in front of him to wrap her arms around the other guy’s waist and spin him away from the doorway, making sure that if Mal hit anything at all, it would be her. Fang was almost fast enough to stop Mal from getting through the doorway. Almost. Saeyoung was right on her heels.

 

Malaya made a grab for Zifeara’s gun. She would have had it too had Saeyoung not barreled into the back of her and scooped her up off the ground. _“You can’t, that’s my brother!”_

 

Malaya flipped over his shoulder and landed back on the ground with a frustrated hiss.

 

That had given Fang enough time to put both Zifeara and Saeran behind him. This wasn’t a discussion. _“Malaya, stop it. We finally found Zifeara and she clearly needs us. There’s something wrong,_ **_like I said_ ** _. Knock it off.”_

 

Malaya paced anxiously. She wasn’t trying to **hurt** them! She just wanted the goddamn guns out of the way! “Idiots! Let’s get out of here! Where we are **not** surrounded by thirty some potential threats!”

 

 _“You aren’t.”_ Zifeara’s voice was quiet and clearly shaken. _“I sent them home.”_

 

Fang glanced behind him, looking down at her and giving a small smile. He didn’t miss the way she had her hand over the one Saeran was holding his gun in. She was making him point it down. Zifeara was done fighting.

 

 _“Who is she?”_ Zifeara looked from Fang to Mal, still really confused before her eyes finally landed on Saeyoung. _“You look like…”_ Then she looked at Saeran.

 

The other hacker laughed nervously, taking his glasses off. _“That kinda happens when you’re twins, Z. Let’s go home and we can fill in what you seem to be missing.”_

 

Zifeara could feel Saeran shaking behind her. She may be mad at him, but she wouldn’t let whoever these people who seemed to know her hurt him. He was hers. And one of those people looked just like him. Her head was starting to hurt. She looked back to the really tall man that had moved to shield the both of them from the other people he was with.

 

“Okay… But not them. I don’t… I don’t trust them.”

 

The redhead’s face fell. He clearly wanted to say something, but the rapid breathing in her ear made Zifeara turn. Saeran was starting to curl in on himself. Shit.

 

“Fang. I need you to get them to go away. One of them is bad right now and I don’t know which one. We can’t go anywhere until I can get Saeran to calm down.”

 

Fang didn’t even bat an eye before turning back to the short woman who had just tried to kill them. _“You heard her Mal. Get. Take Saeyoung with you.”_

 

_“Hell no.”_

 

_“Malaya, that wasn’t a request. They need room and you’re going to give it to them. We’re done. No more.”_

 

_“No. I don’t trust them. I’m not leaving you alone with them.”_

 

Fang rolled his eyes before turning back around. By now, Zifeara was supporting all of Saeran’s weight and they were starting to slide down the wall she was trying to brace against. He had already dropped his pistol. Good to know he was banished to the van from now on. Fang bent down a bit to be at her level. _“Since someone’s grouchy, can I have that?”_ He gestured to _her_ gun.

 

Zifeara really, _really_ didn’t like this. She just wanted to go home. Probably take a shower, cry, and forget about whoever these people were. Her head was hurting more, so much so that she could feel it behind her eyes. She knew Fang. She felt it. She didn’t want to.

 

“Only if it’ll make them leave. Saeran is-”

 

Laughing. The kind of laugh he hadn’t given in a long time. He was reverting. This was really not good. Zifeara turned the safety of her pistol on, throwing it as far away from her as she could manage while in her position and kicking away Saeran’s too.

 

“They need to not be here, _right now_. Saeran is unstable and I don’t think I can fix him with all of you hovering. He’ll probably end up hurting me if I can’t calm him down. Get away from him!”

 

The redhead looked just as on the verge of tears as she felt. She didn’t have time to wonder why. Fang backed up, turning to face ‘Mal’ again. _“I swear to god, Malaya, if you don’t trust me on this, you’re losing more than one family member today. Leave. And take him with you.”_

 

Malaya flinched almost imperceptibly and stared him down for a second, then stared at Zifeara and Saeran before cocking her head as if listening to something. Then she shoved past Fang and left without a word.

 

Fang looked to the redhead who was clearly just as reluctant. _“I don’t know what’s going on, but I swear as soon as I figure it out, I’ll call you. If you’ve ever trusted Zifeara in your life, follow Malaya.”_

 

As much as she had no idea who any of these people were, that settled it; they definitely did know her. The redhead wiped his eyes and turned to go. Fang backed up, putting distance in between them and held his hands up to show he was letting her do what she needed to. Saeran’s nails were digging into her arm and she had to get him to stop before he started getting violent. She’d seen that a few times when Mint Eye still existed and it wasn’t good for anyone. This was going to be a longer night that she thought.

 

***

 

“They’re stable. Doctor says they have an awful lot of things running through their veins right now, but it isn’t fatal. Just… weird. I’m willing to bet my left eye that that’s what’s been causing all of… this.”

 

Fang gestured to the window looking into the hospital room Zifeara was in, sitting on one of the two beds in the room. Saeran was on the other and they were having a clearly heated conversation. Neither had liked the idea of being here, but as it turned out, Saeran wouldn’t get a choice. Saeyoung hadn’t let him be conscious to make that. He was getting his brother checked out and that was that. Zifeara smacked him for it later. Yesterday had been wild. Now as the two of them stared at their family members, things were about to get worse. Malaya rounded the corner.

 

She didn’t say anything, just hovered a bit, looking into the window at Zifeara and Saeran.

 

“She really doesn’t remember us, you know. She had no idea what she was walking into. From what I could gather before the doctors made me get out was that when she first got taken, she was made to take something that she’s been taking ever since. Shit that’s bad for your brain. She didn’t mean any of it.”

 

Fang didn’t look at Mal, opting to stare and try to figure out what Zifeara was saying. Malaya hummed and backed away, turning to leave now that she’d seen that everyone wasn’t bleeding.

 

Saeyoung sighed. _“I know it’s hard for her, but you’d think she’d be more… I dunno, involved, I guess? That’s the first time she’s come anywhere near any of us.”_

 

“Saeyoung, Mal’s been through some shit. Really, really heavy shit. Like, you think your life sucked, but hers was worse. This hit real close to home. Leave her be. Focus on how much fun this isn’t going to be when our siblings go through detox. Cause yours will be worse.”

 

As much as he wanted that to be comforting, it kinda turned mean. Really mean. His patience was thin after everything that had happened. He wanted an awful lot of answers, but there were three really big questions above all. What in the fuck had happened to Zifeara to turn her from a kidnap victim, which she had said she was and he believed that, into the leader of a much larger, rival gang? If she didn’t remember who any of them were, could she get any of those memories back? What in the _fuck_ was she doing with the other Choi twin and why was she so…

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. Whatever the two of them were talking about in there had Zifeara in tears. Saeran looked upset too, but in an indignant sort of way. Saeyoung had his hand over his mouth, watching whatever this was play out.

 

“I don’t suppose you can read lips, can you?”

 

_“Saeran is the one who kidnapped Zifeara and when he brought her back to whatever Mint Eye was, he’s the one who drugged her so that she’d forget about us and work for him as his assistant. Someone else told him to do it, but she’s pretty pissed about it. He told her that if he hadn’t have done that, she would have tried to leave him and he just wanted her to be happy, which he thought he was doing since that was the whole point of taking her.”_

 

Fang turned and raised an eyebrow. Saeyoung didn’t look at him watching the other two to attempt to translate.

 

_“Uhhhh…. You don’t want to know that part.”_

 

“Like Hell I don’t, what the fuck?”

 

 _“They… ah shit. They got_ **_real_ ** _close at Mint Eye. That’s why she’s so protective.”_

 

“Close _how_ Saeyoung?”

 

He narrowed his eyes. He swore if-

 

_“Close enough to call her princess.”_

 

“Fuck. Why does she have to have a thing for psychos.”

 

_“Hey, that’s my brother, asshole!”_

 

“I rest my case. You two have always been freaks, Choi. Alright, you stay here and learn, I’m going to go find coffee to put a shot of something in while I try to mentally bleach my brain. I guess we’ll see if _that_ lasts once they’re better, too.”

 

***

 

It was a long, slow process, ultimately worse for Saeran than Zifeara. Since she took less of the drug now and had been addicted for far less time, she detoxed quicker and was allowed out of their room sooner. Saeran went through much harder withdrawals, often giving him mood swings and panic attacks, not to mention the vivid nightmares. Everyone wanted Zifeara to do therapy but she refused, flipping off the doctor and taking Fang’s phone outside to make a call. They were surprised when she actually came back in. Kai took Zifeara back to her house, showing her all the things she’d amassed over the years and reciting a tale about each trinket on the shelves of her bedroom. He knew where every single one of them came from and it broke her down to tears again. She didn’t go back to the hospital for a while after that. That broke Saeran enough that he started allowing Saeyoung into the room with him.

 

During one of his episodes, Saeran found something akin to comfort from his brother for the first time since they were children. Saeyoung held him and tried to settle him down, attempting to glean what was wrong and why he kept breaking into fits of crying and throwing things around. His life was over, might as well tell the idiot something.

 

“Don’t you get it?! Zifeara isn’t coming back! She knows what happened, what- what I _did_ to her and she’s left me! Just like _you_ , just like everyone else!”

 

The new tears flowing from acknowledging his own words burned in a way he couldn’t describe. He was alone again, but this time it was after having someone more important to him than ever before so close. Saeran Choi had never once used the L-word in his life before he brought Zifeara to Mint Eye and he never would again. He loved her and now she wouldn’t come back. He wanted to blame everyone else; his brother as always since he knew they’d been talking since she got out, Kai for keeping her away on purpose because they all knew he was no good, legitimately everyone for ruining the best couple years of his life. Ultimately he knew he couldn’t. This was actually, 100% his fault. Zifeara was getting her memories back, her free will and she didn’t want him anymore because she knew he was a monster.

 

_“Saeran, Zifeara is just resting at her house. It’s been a lot for her to take in and she needs some time. Look, I’ve been texting her all day since Fang got her a new phone and she asked how you were doing just this morning!”_

 

Saeyoung pulled a phone from his pocket, unlocking it and clicking around till it pulled up a conversation. He tried to hand his brother the phone, but Saeran was still too upset. He knew Zifeara was right. He wasn’t worthy of her. He never was and had cheated his fate for just a short time. She would never come back and now he had nothing all over again.

 

***

Malaya didn’t know what to do with herself. She ghosted around the hallways of the hospital and Zifeara’s neighborhood, trying to stay out of sight but unwilling to go far in case Zifeara needed her. She couldn’t go home; Fang was there and she couldn’t bring herself to face him after his threats to leave her. She’d gotten used to having him around, him and Saeyoung, they were family. But now they hated her, Zifeara didn’t even _remember_ her, and the rest of the Underground was still scattered to the winds until Michael knew for certain they were safe.

Malaya curled up in a big chair in a waiting room that was not very near where Saeran’s room was but gave her a clear line of sight into the hall just outside the actual room. Here she could keep watch over Saeyoung and his brother fairly easily whenever she wasn’t keeping an eye on Fang and Zifeara. A sympathetic nurse kept her updated on Saeran’s progress and now that there were no guns threatening anyone, Malaya was just happy the twins had finally been reunited. Saeran seemed to be slowly warming back up to his brother and Saeyoung couldn’t be happier to have him back.

It hurt, knowing that she was going to lose all of them. It hurt a lot. But she should’ve known better than to get attached. But at least they were all safe and keeping them that way was something she could do whether they liked it or not. Next to her, someone cleared their throat. Malaya jumped a bit and turned.

Kai wasn’t looking at her but was staring down the hallway towards the twin’s room.

 

“Can I help you?” That wasn’t supposed to sound so formal and cold but he’d caught her off guard.

 

_“Kinda. I’m actually here to apologize, first of all.”_

 

Malaya frowned. “There’s nothing to apologize for.” Yeah her feelings had gotten hurt but she could see the logic from his point of view. It hurt, but he didn’t owe her anything.

 

 _“There is.”_ He still didn't look her way, instead watching Saeyoung doodle something on a napkin and hold it up so Saeran could see it. _“I sorta put everyone else at risk when you could have been right. I didn't think about anyone but Zifeara and it could have gotten someone hurt. You only freaked out because you'd done this before.”_

 

“I ‘freaked out’ because Pinky over there had a gun to your head and you looked like you were thinking about inviting him to dinner.”

 

Fang snorted. _“Oh ye of little faith. When I took his gun, I put the safety on and he didn’t even notice. He couldn’t have shot me if he tried. Zifeara, on the other hand, definitely could have. I trusted that she wouldn’t because she looked like she was at least kinda figuring out who I was and what I meant to her. Point is-”_

 

“You got lucky,” Mal growled.

 

 _“Do you mind?”_ He finally looked down at her. _“You’re still my other sister and I’m trying to be nice to you, you little shit.”_ He was smirking, so he was at least kinda kidding. Malaya wanted to throw something at him. _“Point is, I’m sorry. That had to be beyond stressful for you.”_

 

Malaya shrugged. “It was stressful for everyone. Never assume I’m going to hurt Zifeara again.”

 

_“You did shoot really close to her. You don’t miss twice, Mal. I can’t take that risk. You know she’s literally the most important person in the world to me.”_

 

“I didn’t miss. I was trying to get her to back away. I wasn’t trying to hit her, you doofus.”

 

 _“I know that now, but try to think about it from where_ **_I_ ** _was right then. Zifeara had been gone for two years and she was standing right in front of me, gun to my face and looking at me like I’ve never seen her look at anything. All I wanted was to grab her, hug her and cry, tell her I missed her so badly that I didn’t even want to be alive some days. I was scared Mal. You_ **_don’t_ ** _miss twice.”_

 

Malaya sighed. “Kai, I know. That’s why I said you didn’t have to apologize.” She said gently. “I wasn’t going to hurt her but if she’d hurt you, even by accident, do you think she’d ever forgive herself? I wanted her attention to bounce. If that makes sense? Buy you some time to figure out what was happening.”

 

 _“Hahahaha, you could have maybe done it in a way that didn’t make me shoot back at you? When Michael told me I even_ **_did_ ** _that, I didn’t believe him at first.”_

 

Malaya shook her head. “You were full on mutiny. If I’d known we’d find Zifeara leading the other group I would’ve locked you up somewhere.”

 

He smirked and returned his attention to the visible twin. _“Yeah. I’d have broken myself trying to get out. At least things weren’t nearly as bad as they could have been. If, um, if you won’t accept my apology for that, then I suppose it’ll have to be for the other reason I was trying to catch you.”_

 

“And that is?”

 

 _“Well…”_ He took a deep breath and visibly stiffened. _“We all know Michael really isn’t in charge of anything he’d like to be, meaning I needed to come to you for anything important. Like resigning.”_

 

“You’re going to go with Zifeara? Saw that coming.”

 

_“It isn’t really going. I think she’s going to stay here and deal with her guild from her house mostly, but… I can’t stay in the Underground if she isn’t. It’s nothing personal, of course, I just… I need to be where she is, no matter what. I don’t know why, but it feels like cheating to stay with you.”_

 

Malaya hummed, waving her hand. “Like I said, saw that coming. Michael already knows too. And he’s totally in charge. We wouldn’t have survived this long if I was.”

 

Fang grinned and made a soft whipping sound accompanied by a flick of his wrist. _“Sure he is.”_ He looked down at her again, smile turning mischievous. _“Saeyoung is staying though~ Told me this morning.”_

 

That made Mal blink in confusion. “What? Why? He should go with Saeran. Saeran is definitely going with Zifeara isn’t he?”

 

_“He is. That’s exactly why Saeyoung is staying with you. One reason anyway. Zifeara doesn’t need both of them and it’ll make Saeran upset if he thinks his twin is trying to replace him. They’re going to see each other a lot, but he’s with you.”_

 

“Oh. Okay. That makes things easier I guess?” Malaya hummed, trying to squish the little flare of relief that she wasn’t losing _everyone._ One out of three was good, right?

 

Kai laughed again. _“Yeah, it’ll be good for him. He doesn’t have anything better to do anyway.”_ He ruffled Mal’s hair before turning to walk off, most likely to go back home to Zifeara. _“Congrats on keeping your boy toy. Bye Mal!”_

 

Malaya stared after him. “What?”

 

He waved over his shoulder to signal that he had heard her, but didn’t stop. Malaya shrugged and turned back to watch over the twins from her spot. Fang was clearly sleep deprived. Saeyoung wasn’t a toy. Crazy Fang.

 

***

 

Over the next week, things gained some semblance of normalcy. Fang was with her 24/7, helping her to remember who she used to be and how they grew up. Saeyoung stopped by a lot to do much of the same, recounting her history with the twins that no one else was privy to. Which helped explain an awful lot. He told her about the RFA and how this whole mess started. He told her that Saeran was really unhappy that she hadn’t come to see him in 2 weeks.

If she was completely honest, Zifeara didn’t know what she was going to do about Saeran. On one hand, he had kidnapped her, brainwashed her so hard that she didn’t even remember most of her own life, lied to her about everything they were, and clearly had no intention of ever fixing any of that. On the other hand… If the things Saeyoung had told her were true… she’d sort of always had a thing for Saeran. And even hanging around Mint Eye, she had formed a real attraction to him. If she didn’t like him, she would have gotten rid of him.

She kept in contact with her den through her new phone. They were happy to hear that she was okay and asked a million questions about what had happened that she answered to the best of her ability. She gave some instructions about changes that had to be made and promised to come back as soon as she could to help. Despite who she used to be, Zifeara still had people who she had to look after now. Her clan needed her. She sighed, staring at her phone and trying to decipher what it was her heart was telling her. She could easily go back alone.

She called Saeyoung to take her back to the hospital. At first she thought she had to be crazy. Literally everything about this was all Saeran’s fault. She should be mad. Upset. _Hurt_. She felt all of those things intermittently, but all of it was eventually overshadowed by an overwhelming sense of being alone. She was warming back up to Saeyoung quickly; he was hilarious and so sweet and friendly and it was easy to see why she had liked him in the first place. She was remembering Kai more and more so it wasn’t hard to fall back into a rhythm with him, much to his delight. But something was missing. She had an almost tangible gap next to her that neither friend seemed to fill. She missed Saeran. Even though he was the source of all of these problems… she really had fallen for him.

Now at the hospital and with Saeyoung’s hand on her shoulder and gentle smile on his face, Zifeara was nervous. She felt guilty for being absent for so long; she was well aware Saeran had attachment issues and with how annoying her detox was, his had to have been worse. He needed her and she left. She took a deep breath and stepped up to the window that had once been to her room.

Saeran was pacing like a caged tiger, bags under his eyes dark and lightly pulling at his hair. She knew it had to be killing him to be in there, but Saeyoung said the doctors were almost ready to discharge him. She knocked softly on the glass. Saeran’s head snapped towards the sound,eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He seemed to lose control of his body, rushing to the window and running into it with more force than necessary. His smile was blinding before it faltered, realizing what he had been worried over all week. He took a step back and let his hands fall from the pane. He looked away and went back to his pacing.

 

_“I can open that door for you, you know. If you want me to.”_

 

Zifeara turned to find that Saeyoung’s smile had widened. She nodded. He moved to the cardreader just next to the door and waved his phone over it, typing a moment before the lock clicked and he held it open for her. Saeran backed away from it, communicating that he definitely wasn’t trying to escape. Again. Zifeara stepped in, hearing the soft click of being given a moment by themselves.

Saeran kept his gaze on the floor, clearly remembering their last conversation. She hadn’t been very receptive to learning what exactly had been done to her. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to find something to say. She saved him the trouble.

Zifeara crossed the space in between them quickly, throwing her arms around her Drake and nuzzling her nose into his shoulder. She felt him shudder only for a moment before returning her embrace with 10 times the ferocity.

 

_“I’m sorry. I’m s-so sorry, Zifeara, I never meant to hu-hurt you I just-”_

 

She shut him up by running a hand into the back of his hair and pulling him into a kiss. He gave a confused squeak before melting into it as he usually did. When she pulled away, Zifeara rested their foreheads together.

 

“You’re an asshole, but I’m pretty sure it’s part of the reason I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t visit or anything and… kept you worried.”

 

Saeran’s eyes were threatening to spill tears.

 

_“But you c-came back.”_

 

“Yes, I did. I promised I wouldn’t leave you, you know. The den is fine. I’ve been letting them know what’s going on and they’re looking forward to having us back.”

 

He tilted his head slightly, a few tears falling.

 

 _“We… we’re going back?”_ He whispered.

 

She placed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

 

“Of course we are. We have a family to take care of. There’s going to be some serious changes but… it’s where we belong.”

 

Saeran could only stare for a moment before he smiled again.

 

 _“Family…_ **_We_ ** _have a family…”_

 

***

 

With all of the broodmates being gently detoxed, new dens set up from Clan DragonSoul to her house here in the city with a new Amphithere each to supervise them, and new plans being made to start everything up again from where they left off, all in all things were good again. Zifeara could go back to living in her own house, now with the addition of Saeran and they could run the dens from here. She had mostly started reconciling with Malaya, even though she still felt really bad about everything that had happened and wished she could do more. They set up some business plans with the Underground to try to help them out. The younger girl had already moved out of the attic Zifeara had forgotten was inhabited and they turned that space into a little nest for Saeran, that way he had somewhere to be when he wanted to be alone for a while. You know, when they could convince Saeyoung to leave him be.

Fang was getting used to being an Amphithere and though his work was pretty much exactly what it had been for the Underground, now he had minions to boss around. He was in charge of the den closest to their city and as Zifeara heard from the grapevine, every single broodmate wanted to be assigned to his den. They all loved him. They fought for spots in Fang’s den.

Every single Wednesday was family dinner night no matter what. Saeyoung demanded it. No matter what was happening, he, Kai, Mal, Zifeara, and even Saeran gathered at Nightshade manor to eat and just be cool with each other for a night. There was Hell to pay if someone missed the family dinner. It was important to the hacker to finally have this family that he’d always wanted and they knew that. Saeran humored him. And Fang might have been right about a thing the redhead might have for Mal. Saeyoung would never even say a thing about it, but Fang and Zifeara passed looks over dinner.

Life was settling down. Things were in order, money was being made, minions were happy… they were happy. Despite all the chaos, all the fear, all the struggles and hardships, all the confusion and heartache… things were as they should be. And they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that happened. In brainwashing her, Saeran kinda created a possessive monster out of Zifeara and she lost her shit. Speaking of Saeran, I'd like to think that him being genuinely happy for a bit and having a non-harmful way to blow off some of his angry energy softened him out a little, making him not nearly the edgy little shit he usually is.  
> No, they never really tell the RFA about Mint Eye or Rika or V and everyone is just cool. 
> 
> Is there foreshadowing somewhere in here? Probably! Which part? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Edit: Thwippersnapple has done a bonus version of the picture in the chapter and I could not be more in love with it! The look on Zia's face- she's just 'Goddmanit Saeran I stg people are supposed to fear me how can I maintain order with your dumb ass here smh fuck you're so cute tho I can't yell at you':
> 
>  


	8. Some Things Never Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the unfortunate events of last night, Saeran tries to determine how he can get Zifeara to like him the way he does her: very physically. Things take a turn and our boy may be right back to square one. Maybe even square -23. There's suspicion all around, but it's all for naught if Saeran can't fix things with his 'assistant'. But How?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now back to your regularly scheduled programming, lol. We're back on track with cannon TTST!
> 
> General song for the chapter is [Something About You](https://youtu.be/pvxlroP0uAY) by Chace! Fits well for both of them, I think. Also, two other songs scattered around in the fic ;)

As much as everything had changed, everything was exactly the same. Come morning, Saeran was just as he had been; short with her, grumpy, sarcastic, still staring from time to time. The only real difference was in the way he touched her. He now acted as though she were made of glass; as though she were a treasured heirloom belonging to a queen. In a way it was sweet, in another it was odd. He still managed to snap at her about doing work and demanding she finish his wolf today, but when he took her hand to keep her close on the way to breakfast… it was as if he were afraid now a simple touch would hurt her in some way. She only figured it out halfway through her food; he was afraid any touch now would drive her away.

Once they were finished eating, he left her in the office and said he had something to take care of. He didn’t know when he’d be back, but he didn’t have anything for her to do right now. So as soon as he left, she touched up his wolf. And finished the drawing she had started making of his scars. Adding the last effects to the picture, Zifeara held it a little away from herself, making sure it still looked good at a distance. She had connected the ends of some of his scars to make a constellation; the lines and dots not looking very concrete but the glowing overlay she added was of a tiger, looking as though it was stretching down his back. She had wanted to wait to give this to him when they got out of here, but after last night… She shuddered a little. As much as it was wrong and had upset her that Saeran had thought he could just take something like that from her… the fact of the matter remained that there had been _some_ temptation to give him what he wanted. Was it really Stockholm Syndrome when you had been in love with your captor from the start?

Zifeara shook her head. That was insanity. She just had a childhood crush on someone she barely ever saw. And now she thought he was hot. If anything, once they got out of here it would be Saeyoung she’d fall for; he had grown up too and was more up her alley. He was the one who was kind and caring and awkward with her, just as his brother used to be. He was also super hot; they were twins. He... wasn’t the one she had been drawing endlessly for weeks, sometimes in various states of undress and sometimes as a cat. He wasn’t the one her heart pounded for when she saw him any of the times both twins were next to each other. He wasn’t the one she sang for. He never was. He might never be.

 

Saeran took a deep breath. It was time. He could do this. He could mostly lie to the Savior. He made his way down the long hallway, composing himself and stowing any emotions he had before knocking on the mint door. Emotions were trouble. Trouble he could lose his assistant over. They had to stay gone. The door swung open and the Savior smiled at him, ushering the hacker into the room.

 

_“What is it you needed, Saeran?”_

 

He steadied himself one last time. He picked a spot on the floor and focused on it.

 

“I wanted to give you an update on the plan for the RFA and let you know how the repairs to the security system went. The system has been fixed; it was simply getting old and had some frayed wiring. I replaced that and it's fine now. I believe we should be able to start the new phase of obtaining the RFA members next week, starting with your cousin. He should be the easiest. Are you pleased, Savior?”

 

Their smiled remained unchanged as they moved towards him, slipping a hand under his chin to cause him to meet their gaze.

 

_“Yes, Saeran, you've done very well to recover from your mistakes. So well, in fact, that if your assistant proves to be well acclimated during her inspection, I will have something… special for you.”_

 

He didn't like the way they were looking at him. It was like they _knew_. He couldn't tell them he didn't want to know what would be so special about his reward. That he already had what he wanted.

 

“Thank you, Savior.”

 

_“I would like to ask you something.”_

 

“Of c-course, Savior.”

 

_“Saeran, are you unhappy?”_

 

_Shit_. He could not falter. They were testing him. He could not afford to fail.

 

“No, Savior, how could I be? You have given me everything I've ever wanted. You saved me despite how unworthy I was. I am happy to serve you.”

 

That sounded good. Their expression did not change.

 

_“How are you enjoying your assistant?”_

 

**_Shit_ **.

 

“She works hard. I am most grateful you have allowed me to keep her though I disobeyed.”

 

_“Does she please you, Saeran?”_

 

He couldn't be certain they were asking in anything other than a business sense. He needed to assume that's what they meant.

 

“She has greatly improved my productivity. It is most pleasing.”

 

Their eyes narrowed, just slightly. They were calling his bluff. He was so glad he hadn't asked the question he had intended to all week. He would have lost Zifeara for it. They released his face.

 

_“I'm glad. There is one more thing you can tell me, Saeran.”_

 

“Anything, Savior.”

 

_“Do you miss it that much?”_

 

He waited for them to continue, dreading this was what he feared it to be about.

 

_“The sensation of another body on yours? The feel of skin beneath your fingers? I know you sleep with her, Saeran. You've not requested a second bed. Does she_ **_please_ ** _you?”_

 

He swallowed as their green eyes bored into his own. Right into the gold underneath. _No_. Only one person saw through to the gold. Only one person could have that part of him. He had given that away long ago.

 

“Not in the way that you do, Savior. Only you have given me that.”

 

This seemed to greatly satisfy them. And it wasn't a lie. Zifeara was nothing like them. Their accusing smile became a smug smirk. They turned and waved him away.

 

_“You may go.”_

 

Go he did. He went so far that he almost ran right into his office door. Saeran was shaking. He had passed. His assistant was safe for that much longer. He opened the door to find Zifeara on the couch, coloring just as he left her. She looked up and smiled as he shut the door, but quickly stood and moved to him; that wretched concern of hers overshadowing everything else.

 

_“Saeran? What happened?”_

 

He had no panic left in him after yesterday, but he wasn't very stable either. He could form very few words right now, but luckily she was starting to be used to that.

 

“No. Couch.”

 

She did as he commanded, laying back down on the couch so that he could lay next to her, wedged between her body and the back cushions. Sheltered. Isolated. Safe. He hugged her tightly to him, ignoring any protest she may have given. He had been gentle this morning, but right now he needed this. Needed to hold on to her as though he were trying to save her from the crashing waves of his relief and anxiety. Needed to hide her from the Power threatening to tear her from his grasp. Needed to assure her that he would hold on no matter what came for her. They would not have her. She was his. It was starting to be a problem that he wanted to be hers. Only one person owned him. And they were starting to suspect that something was wrong.

 

***

 

The familiar knock on the window signaled the most exciting thing to happen to him this week was about to come to pass. This was about to be worth everything he had endured since the last time. Worth every tear, every stifled cry, every single bruise. As soon as the window was open, the top of that magical backpack peeked into view and Saeyoung grabbed it, pulling it into their room and passing it to him. As happy as he was to see that bag and as much as he knew its contents would be what kept him that much more alive for the next week, it wasn't what Saeran was waiting for. He set the bag on the floor and turned back, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched his brother hold his hand out to help their angel through the window. She looked no different tonight than she did the last time she was here, but that didn't matter; Zifeara still had the same effect on him every single time as the first time he saw her. Just like at the Christmas party three years ago, his heart would beat faster, his entire body would heat up, his stomach felt as though it were full and empty at the same time. Whatever this feeling was, it was unlike anything else he knew; his brother wasn't this way for him and it was only vaguely similar to the feeling of sneaking around and potentially being caught.

She got all the way in the window and briefly hugged Saeyoung. He hadn't made it to church lately, so it had been just as long since she had seen his twin as it had him. Saeran moved forward the second Zifeara released his brother, eager for his turn. She smiled as she pulled him closer, enveloping him in her gentle warmth and comforting scent. He could swear her hugs for Saeyoung always lasted longer than his, but he supposed that made sense; she saw his brother far more often and was therefore closer to him. Rationalizing this didn't make it any better. As a matter of fact, it made him feel… something he was only somewhat familiar with. He was jealous of his brother. Saeyoung always got to go outside, see the sky, see Zifeara. He usually couldn't go anywhere. He had been tied in the kitchen most of this week. Zifeara let him go, but held onto his shoulders, smiling.

 

_“Grab my bag, I brought you guys something cool since I missed last week!”_

 

Saeran nodded and retrieved her backpack, passing it to her and tilting his head as he watched her dig through it.

 

_“Saeyoung, this one is yours.”_

 

She produced a book and held it out to his brother, which he took and sat on the floor. As soon as he opened it, his eyes went wide. He flipped through the pages, clearly ecstatic about whatever they contained.

 

_“Zifeara, can I really have this? The pictures in this are beautiful! It… looks kinda expensive…”_

 

_“Hahaha, of course you can, doofus, I got it for you! I know how much you love the stars, so naturally a cool astronomy book was something you ought to have. That and you love learning. Saeran, here, this one is yours.”_

 

Zifeara brought out a brown book with a castle on the cover and handed it to him with a grin. Saeran took it delicately as if it were an ancient tome and opened it. He was greeted by an illustration of a woman in a pink dress with ridiculously long blonde hair looking out a window in what seemed to be a stone tower.

 

_“That's Rapunzel. You told me you guys never got read fairy tales and since you like them so much, that's what I brought you. I almost got you a book about weather because it had nice pictures of the sky, but… I don't know, I kept coming back to this one, haha. You wouldn't have rather had the sky one, would you? Cause I can-”_

 

He shook his head rapidly, almost forgetting to keep his voice down.

 

“N-no! I really like this one! I'm… I'm just so happy you brought us anything at all. Thank you, Zifeara. Um, can I ask why though? The food you bring is already nice enough...”

 

She looked from him to his twin and back.

 

_“Well… it's almost your birthday, isn't it? I don't know if I'll be able to make it here on the actual day, so at least you can have your presents early rather than late.”_

 

She had… gotten them presents? Their birthday was nothing to celebrate. They were unwanted. Useless. They were bad. So why?

 

_“Besides, you have to stay inside all the time and that must get boring. Having something new to read will give you something to do, Saeran!”_

 

She was too good to them. Too good _for_ them. Surely she knew that. She must have known they didn't deserve anything about her, especially not the kindness she showered them with. He wanted so badly to tell her as much, to stop her from tempting the fate that was their wretched lives, but at the same time he was scared that if he did… she would listen.

Since he had nothing to say to that, the three of them sat down with their snacks around Saeyoung's book looking at the pictures. When he found the section on astrological signs, he was thrilled to find that the both of them were actually Gemini; the twins. Of course they were. Zifeara ended up being a Libra since her birthday was October 13th and Saeran couldn't help notice how strangely fitting that was as well.

 

“Huh, as the scales, you have a side for each of us.”

 

Saeran realized it was an odd thing to say just too late as his brother shot him a look, but considering Zifeara was sitting in between them right now, it made too much sense to him. He became a bit flushed, certain that if Saeyoung thought that was weird, she would surely think the same.

 

_“You know, that is true. I think Sae outweighs you though, so you better hold on to your side, Saeran!”_

 

She giggled and turned the page, not noticing the charged air pass between the twins. Saeyoung did outweigh him physically, but did that also mean she liked him better? He stared hard at his brother, noting that he seemed to be thinking the same. There would certainly be an argument about this after she left tonight.

 

***

 

He was groggy. He was warm. He was cramped. He didn’t so much mind it. As soon as Saeran woke up, he remembered where he was and why. At least he hadn’t had another panic attack. Now he just sort of wondered where that book went. He was pretty sure he had brought it here with him and the Savior had taken it. Where it was now he could only guess. He had long since memorized every tale in it, but he didn’t trust his memory anymore for obvious reasons.

Zifeara had fallen asleep too which was reasonable considering no one had any sleep around here last night, so she was where she usually ended up when they were asleep. This was different, though. Normally in bed, she slept facing away from him, but currently she was exactly the same as the first time he had woken up with her. There was something about having her just under his head where he couldn’t see her, face pressed to his chest and arms wherever they would fit. He shouldn’t like it; logic said you kept things that could hurt you away from your throat, but this was his favorite place for her to be. He was losing his goddamn mind.

He had to get them up. Not only had he not gotten any work done today, but it was once again time to do laundry, his _least_ favorite chore. He could make Zifeara do it for him, but that would require her physically taking their clothes to the laundry room and that was all the way down the hall. That was too far away. And near the other disciples. And closer to the Savior’s end of the hallway…

Saeran paused before running a hand over the back of her head, attempting to wake her up. Usually awake is the last thing he wanted her to be when she was snuggled up to him like this, so he wasn’t used to rousing someone. She sort of mumbled, and craned her neck, slowly blinking at him. God, it’s really too bad she had been opposed to being intimate with him because he could get used to that look but after a very different kind of nap. There was still time. They were going to be together forever, so maybe he could get her to come around sooner rather than later. He remembered her, but that just made him want her more; Saeyoung wasn’t around to get between them anymore and all he had to do was get her to pass her evaluation.

 

“Get up. We still have things to do today.”

 

She mumbled a little more, turning away so she could swing her legs off the couch and sit up. He did as well and soon he led them into their room. He gathered up the pile of clothes in the corner and Zifeara took notice; grabbing the last clean pair of clothes from the dresser and moving into the bathroom. This was the only good thing about laundry day. If Zifeara wanted her clothes clean, she would have to wear his. She always picked the same ones; the only sweater he owned, all black and soft and a pair of plain black pants. The sweater was too big for both of them, but she seemed to like that. He definitely liked it when she wore all black. She came back out and he handed her the pile, opening the door and making sure they made it down the hall. He started the washer and watched as Zifeara sat on one of the dryers, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

 

“Did you not sleep?”

 

_“Hm? Oh, no, I did, I just… I was dreaming and I’m always more tired when my brain doesn’t sleep all the way.”_

 

“What were you dreaming about?”

 

She looked like she didn’t want to tell him. Granted, he had sort of asked more on reflex, but now he was curious about what she didn’t want him to know. Saeran moved closer, putting himself right between her dangling legs and inches from her face, earning him a faint blush and a scowl.

 

_“You know I hate it when you do that.”_

 

“Then tell me and I’ll move.”

 

She got that defiant look again.

 

_“You won’t like it. Trust me, you don’t actually want to know.”_

 

Now he really did. He moved his hands to either side of her, steeling his expression.

 

“Tell. Me.”

 

Zifeara narrowed her eyes, shying away from how close he was getting. She knew he wouldn’t repeat last night, especially not right here, but she was still a bit wary. She was smart.

 

_“God, you’re such an ass. Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t want to tell you. I… I was home. Someone knocked on my door and I went to answer it and it… it was your brother. We had a conversation that didn’t make any sense because it was a dream and he came in. It was like we used to be, but he kept touching me. Barely, but it was noticeable.”_

 

He balled his fists. She always liked Saeyoung better.

 

_“I think it was because of… last night. It influenced my brain but that was kind of the last person I remember talking to before you brought me here. I’m pretty sure he kept moving closer too, but my mind kept moving us around without us moving, if that makes sense? It was just weird. I told you you’d be mad.”_

 

She wasn’t wrong. If that’s what she wanted, then why wasn’t she dreaming about him? Why had she not let him have her last night? Was it only because he wasn’t gentle or was it because he wasn’t Saeyoung?

 

“Is that really what you want?”

 

She looked confused; less about what he said but more about what it was he was asking.

 

_“What do you mean? It was just a dream, Saeran, it didn’t-”_

 

“Is it just that I did things wrong or do you just want _him_?”

 

His volume was louder than he meant it to be and Zifeara’s face paled. That _was_ it. She wanted his brother, as per usual. He was never good enough. Her mouth moved like she was trying to say something, but no sound came out.

 

“If.. if I stopped dying my hair, if I _looked_ like him again, would you want me then?”

 

If that was what she wanted, that’s what he would do. He wanted to make her happy. If she was happy, she would make _him_ happy. She tried to push him back, away from her at all, but he held her hands. Not as hard as he had the night before, she didn’t need more than one bruise, but hard enough that he didn’t move.

 

_“S-Saeran, that isn’t-”_

 

Two more disciples came in, having a conversation of their own, stopping when they saw him. They hesitated and despite the death glare he was giving them, decided that they would indeed do their laundry. He didn’t let go of his assistant nor did he allow her to move, merely standing statue still as they did their business and left, wisely choosing to hope their clothes were alright without supervision. When he turned back to Zifeara, she had gained her composure.

 

_“Saeran, you aren’t yourself here. This place has made you into someone else. I don’t like it here and I don’t want to be here.”_

 

He wasn’t _himself_. He just grew up, this absolutely was himself. He wasn’t weak anymore. He had power. Power she wouldn’t get with anyone else. He need to change his approach. She was just making excuses.

 

“Well you haven’t been here that long, you’ll get used to it. You aren’t going anywhere else; Magenta is your home now. You live here with _me_ . If you _behave_ , I get to keep you and trust me, you _want_ to stay with me. No other disciple can give you what I can and none of them will be nearly as nice to you as I am. I…”

 

She looked like she was about to contest his words, but if he let her talk, he would snap himself out of this ‘being nice’ thing again.

 

“I didn’t mean to scare you last night. I’m just not used to having an assistant and I rushed things. You live here now and you’re mine, so I want you to be happy. _Let_ me make you happy. What do you want? I don’t draw or sing or tell stories, but people listen to me here. I get to leave sometimes and can get you things. Just tell me what you want.”

 

She was looking at him in the oddest way. She didn’t even flinch when he moved one of his hands to rest on her hip, so he assumed it _was_ that he had been too rough. He could still lean forward and kiss her, but that was probably also too fast. For as sharp of a thorn as she was, Zifeara was surprisingly delicate. Which was a shame.

 

_“Do you want to know what I really want?”_

 

He nodded, willing to try just about anything reasonable at this point. He still had a very problematic four letter word hanging around and he now had confirmation that he wanted her more than he feared his Savior.

 

_“Saeran, I want you to take my hand, lead me outside, get on your bike, and_ **_leave_ ** _. I want you to come home with me and forget about this fucking place. That’s what I want.”_

 

That was well beyond reasonable. He sighed and looked down, trying to think of a nice way to say ‘no fucking way you stupid bitch’. He settled for resting his other hand on her cheek, something he was again surprised she allowed.

 

“That isn’t happening, don’t be ridiculous. You and I are staying here. This _is_ home. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be. Now come on, there has to be something realistic you want. We’re almost out of paper, so I’ll get more. Do you want something else to draw with? Do you paint? Tell me _something_ I can give you to make you happy.”

 

She looked crestfallen for a few moments while he ran his thumb over where her first bruise used to be. This was working. As much as it nauseated him, it was working. She was letting him touch her in this way and it wasn’t their usual routine. If he could keep this up… Her face brightened for a split second, like she had an epiphany that would solve all of her problems.

 

_“How far is the closest place you could get us some new CDs?”_

 

That was better. He could very much do that. The problem was, the nearest town that had anything more than the tiny general store he went to was two hours away. A four hour round trip was not exactly the best, but Zifeara had just said ‘us’. He must have made a bit of a face because she brought her hands to rest on his chest and he could swear all the blood that wasn’t pooling in his face was threatening a shower. _This was working_.

 

“A-about two hours around the mountain. It isn’t… It’s not close. I’ll need time to try to convince the Savior I need to go for something important in order to get them. B-but I will if- if that’s what you want. Just give me time and you’ll have it. Okay?”

 

She nodded, looking up through her eyelashes at him. _Shit_ . This was all he had to do. He had to pretend to be nice. He wouldn’t be able to keep that up, but he might be able to do it long enough if he practiced. He lightly squeezed her hip and leaned his head on her shoulder, feeling her shudder underneath him at the sudden motion. Zifeara relaxed again once she knew that was all he was doing, but the temptation to do more hadn’t abated. He just had to wait. She would come around, she was just _delicate_. This what he got for not initiating her, but it was still mostly a fair exchange for her drawings. She would give him his wolf tonight. And he would ask for more.

 

***

This wasn’t easy. Lying to Saeran wasn’t something Zifeara really wanted to do, but this was what she had needed to get out of here. She needed him gone. She needed him to pack that backpack of his and give her a chance to contact her Family. She had almost figured out the password to his computer, she just needed to watch him do it a few more times. She was only missing a few letters and she knew she only had a ten second window to put in the right code, so she had to be sure. All that was left was finding a way to secretly jam the door to their rooms open without him catching her. He might not want to leave Mint Eye, but he didn’t have a choice; no one kept Zifeara Nightshade from something she wanted and she wanted _both_ of them gone.

She looked up at him typing away and moving windows of code around, not paying her any mind. He had tape in his drawer. She thought she might be able to use that on the door, she just had to wait to steal it when he left her to do work by herself. For now though, he had her yPod plugged in and playing her swing jazz playlist. As hard as he was working, she found it funny that he still subtly tapped his foot to the rhythm or gently bobbed his head. He seemed to like this genre better than traditional forms of dance, but she couldn’t imagine why. It seemed extremely unlike him and ruined the super edgy thing he appeared to be going for. She couldn’t say it wasn’t fun, but it was silly.

Zifeara had told him she finished his wolf, but he said he wanted to see it tonight when they were done with everything today. She figured it was so that he could stare at it uninterrupted for an extended period of time and that was fine with her; she had been getting very into Cat!Saeran lately and had wanted to doodle without any goal in mind today.

Her latest job was keeping track of time for him since if she didn’t stop him for food, he’d work endlessly into the night. She drew cats, including the one for herself; a Bombay with big purple eyes and a red collar with a familiar sun shape on the tag. She turned Saeran’s favorite bracelet into his collar and drew the eye from his tattoo on his tag. She made so many doodles that by the time dinner came around, _she_ almost forgot. Zifeara put her tablet down and wandered over to Saeran, leaning over the back of his chair as he worked.

 

_“What do you want?”_

 

He sounded disinterested, but he froze when she ruffled his hair.

 

“Time for dinner. You told me to stop you for food.”

 

He made that noncommittal grunting noise he often did, but that just meant he was going to finish whatever he was doing before getting up. She assumed he wouldn’t be long, opting for just listening to the songs play and trying to remember if they had any particular dance associated with them. She was about three in when she heard Saeran turn around, but the [fourth song](https://youtu.be/qQ-Pyx4joKM) just started up and she loved this one. It was pretty fast and the fast ones were her favorites. Zifeara was going to tease Saeran about learning how to dance this one, but didn’t get the chance; he was already behind her and took one of her hands, spinning her into him.

 

_“I like this one. Teach me.”_

 

She wasn’t sure if he just had something to prove now or earnestly was becoming more relaxed with her, but Zifeara kind of didn’t care. She liked it when he was almost… normal for a second. It helped make up for all the bits in between when he was undoubtedly a psychopath. She tried her best to instruct him on how to move, but he wasn’t used to how much faster he had to go to keep up with her, meaning they had to put the song on repeat so they could keep trying. It was about the sixth time through he pointed out they’d miss dinner if they didn’t stop now, but much to her surprise, he wanted to resume once they had eaten. Saeran seemed Hell bent on getting this for some reason that Zifeara couldn’t fathom, but she really… did like teaching him.

 

Saeran really did like this song. This was one of his favorite ones to watch Zifeara dance to and before he thought too hard about it, he asked her to teach him the dance to it. This was one of those where she was fast and graceful and… downright _mouthwatering_ to behold while doing it. As he had hoped, his part in this dance put him close to her in all the right ways but kept him just distracted enough that he wasn’t having a _problem_. This was also excessively difficult. It wasn’t until several times in that he realized they should have been eating and lead the way to food.

He kept staring at her when they ate. He honestly hadn’t meant to, but he couldn’t help it when he was thinking. He had to do something with Zifeara; her evaluation was upon them and he knew with 100% certainty that by Mint Eye standards she was a failure. He would have to talk her into behaving for _just_ long enough to convince the Savior that she was totally conformed and not special in any way. Just long enough that the Savior would tell him he’d done well and… Oh no. They had promised him something special if Zifeara was well adjusted and they could move on the RFA. Saeran really hoped his ‘reward’ wasn’t what it sounded like; he didn’t think with everything going on between him and his assistant he could stomach a session with the Savior anymore, much the less a _special_ session…

This was making him anxious. He had been trying so hard to be better about his medication, but he had forgotten again this morning considering the... excitement last night had caused. He was starting to feel bad. He didn’t think he could work like this. As soon as they finished eating, he demanded Zifeara resume teaching him to dance that song he liked. She seemed surprised, but agreed of course. Moving some of this nervous energy off and feeling the way she brushed against him and the gentle way she guided him around where he needed to be was helping. They stopped only once he started feeling a little nauseous, another unfortunate side effect of being forgetful of his pills. He sat down on his couch, breathing deeply to try to make it go away and she sat next to him… closer than he really thought she would want to be. Maybe… maybe she really _was_ warming up to the idea of being his. Maybe he’d gotten through to her earlier.

 

_“Hahaha, you did pretty well, I’m impressed! You’ve almost got the whole thing down already.”_

 

He made a noise of acknowledgement, not wanting to open his mouth just yet should the need to throw up become stronger, but that only seemed to make her worried. Damn it.

 

_“You okay, Saeran?”_

 

He nodded, laying his head back and closing his eyes, not wanting to see hers pooling with concern anymore. She was quiet for a decent while before he felt her moving again and messing with something. Once most of the nausea passed, he glanced her way and saw she had gotten her tablet.

 

“Can I have my wolf now?”

 

She jumped a little at how suddenly he spoke, but nodded and pulled the picture up, for once handing him the tablet. Zifeara really was starting to trust him. This was going far better than he had thought, and far more… quickly. What had he said to do this? It had to have been something today… Maybe it was just voicing that he wanted her. Being physical clearly scared her, so perhaps easing the idea onto her was speeding up the process since she was well aware what _exactly_ he was after. He was getting distracted.

As soon as he saw the wolf, Saeran was dead to the world. It was better than he imagined it would be, even without the galaxy in its fur. Now that it had color, one thing stood out above all else; it's eyes looked just like his. Not gold as they truly were, but a bright mint that nearly glowed. All of the wolf’s fur was slightly tinged pink at the ends just like his hair. Zifeara had not only drawn him a wolf, but she had _turned him into_ the majestic beast, making this officially his favorite thing she'd ever made. How she’d managed to capture him so well in just an animal was unfathomable, but it somehow really did look undoubtedly like him.

Zifeara sat quietly as he poured over every minute detail of the masterpiece before him for an indeterminate amount of time, trying to convince himself that it was even real much the less that she had done this _for him_ . Sure she had made him a lot of things, he told her to, but she had chosen to make this one special. Even after their… _issue_ last night, she still made him something so wonderful that he wanted to print it out and put it on his desk. Actually, he could do just that.

 

“I want to put this on my computer. The file, I mean. I want it.”

 

Zifeara looked concerned, as though the simple concept of copying a file was a problem for her.

 

_“If you plugged my tablet into your computer and opened the file folder, you’d see every single one of my drawings. A lot of them aren’t done, I don’t want you looking at them yet.”_

 

“What, and you expect me to just let _you_ plug it in and move a file? Just look away while you’re on my computer?”

 

That sounded exactly as accusatory as he meant it to. If he didn’t watch what she was doing even for a minute, who knows what she could do to tell the RFA where she was. She was _smart_. As much as her wary expression didn’t change, there was still a flicker of hurt in her eyes. Those eyes that he couldn’t decide if he loved or hated more.

 

_“Saeran, you know how I am about my drawings. Doing this will take probably 30 seconds and there’s no way I could even do much in that time on an unfamiliar computer, much the less stealthily. You’re_ **_right_ ** _here. You have two options: you either fight me for my tablet, lose badly, and hate me for it, or you can trust me and get what you want with no fuss. Can you remember a single time that I’ve ever purposely hurt you? Look at me. Can you?”_

 

She wasn’t wrong. With all he had remembered the night before, she had always been a benevolent force, virtually an angel at times. That didn’t mean there wasn’t something he was forgetting, but he tended to remember trauma above all else. He scowled.

 

_“You can’t do it, huh? Even when you hit me first, the only time I did_ **_anything_ ** _to you was last night and you brought that on yourself. For the most part, I trust you Saeran, why can’t you trust me just a little more?”_

 

For the same reason he couldn’t trust anyone else. He didn’t even trust himself anymore.

 

“I trust that you want to get out of here. You made that very clear. You want to leave Mint Eye, to leave me and go back to _them_.”

 

_“Saeran, I never said I wanted to leave you. In fact, I definitely said I want to take you with me. Not to the RFA, but to_ **_my_ ** _home; the big purple house you’ve only glimpsed, the massive kitchen I could cook for you in, the room I sleep in and have all my treasures in that you’ve never seen. The nice garden we could lay in and watch the clouds pass over till they reveal a multitude of stars._ **_Home_ ** _, Saeran. Home is what makes you happy. You follow your home wherever it goes. You can’t go home unless you trust the road that takes you there.”_

 

Goddamn it. She was doing it again. Giving him this… this… _feeling_. Looking sad because he was hurting her. She would have to get used to this sooner or later; all he could do was hurt people. If she wasn’t intent on being so difficult, he could have hurt her in a much more pleasant way, but no. She chose this. When he had asked her what she wanted, he hadn’t thought completely ruining him was on the table. He handed Zifeara her tablet and got up, moving to his desk to disconnect his computer from the internet. Just in case. With that done, he leaned back on the desk, glowering at her and taking a deep breath. She didn’t move till he jerked his head towards the machine.

She strode over to him, clearly attempting to hide a smug smile, but before she could say anything, he moved a cable out of the pile of wires shoved in a corner. He knew what she was going to ask and he had to let her do this before he changed his mind. Before reason kicked in. Zifeara plugged her tablet in and turned it back on, glaring at him as she hesitated to unlock it like he hadn't already figured out how to. He looked away, thinking on how he should really just steal the damn tablet while she was asleep and look at all the drawings anyway. Saeran counted every second she was using. It took her 37 to move the file. That seemed like too long.

 

_“There, was that really so hard?”_

 

He whipped around, eyes frantically scanning for signs of what damning thing she had done, how she had further tarnished anything good he had, but all he saw was a new file on his desktop. He double clicked the icon in the top right and his glorious new gift filled the screen of his largest monitor.

 

“What took you so long?”

 

_“Well I could only work as fast as my tablet let me. Transferring the file took the poor thing a bit.”_

 

His eyes met hers and he stared her down. Scanned for the tell that she was up to something bad. Searched for the malice he was accustomed to earning for just being Saeran. Receiving only a smile and a shimmer of something he couldn't place in the indigo sea whose siren song called to him. Sirens always ate their victims. He was ready to be swallowed whole, but in a way he really shouldn't be thinking about _now_ while he still had work to do and she was still looking at him and he should get her out of here. That was a thing he could do and would solve that problem.

 

“Fine. Get out, I have a lot to finish before I can rest today and you're distracting.”

 

_“Excuse me? I have done absolutely nothing to warrant such venom. I didn't even ask you any of the questions I meant to today! I've been a perfect angel~”_

 

Apparently an amused snort was not the response Zifeara expected her indignance to be met with as she narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“ _You_ are never an angel, perfect or otherwise. I see where you made the mistake, especially since devils also have wings, but you're missing a halo, princess. Just because hellfire is bright doesn't mean they're interchangeable. Besides, you've been sitting around being _you_ all day and that's distracting enough. So gather your magic brick and _move your ass_.”

 

He had no idea where this outburst had come from. His tone wasn't harsh, but he couldn't believe he had just said any of that to her without… yelling. If anything, that had sounded like he was teasing her. Saeran Choi did not tease, nor did he kid. He thought Zifeara was going to cry for a fraction of a second, but it was simply her face shifting from pouting into trying not to laugh to failing and letting out what may have been the heartiest laugh he'd gotten out of her in their lives together. She _never_ laughed like that for him. She only laughed like that for Saey-

Saeran couldn't really react as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him, laughter not abating while she used his body as support for her own. He was still against his desk, so he was effectively trapped. Not that he was in any hurry to move.

 

_“That ma-may be the f-funniest thing you've eh-ever said to me, hahahahaha! Ah, god Saeran, when did you get a sense of humor?”_

 

He… _he_ had a sense of humor? He was funny? He had thought what he said was a bit mean, but apparently there was a line of tolerance between being an asshole and being funny. Interesting. Zifeara found sarcasm and snark funny, but she didn't find anything else he had considered to be a ‘joke’ amusing, only upsetting. She was allowing him to be ‘funny’ at her expense and was oddly jovial for it. She was looking up at him now, resting her chin on his chest as she leaned forward slightly. She was _really_ close to his face…

 

“Uh, I- I suppose when you found a way to be ceaselessly obnoxious? You'd better g-get out of my face… unless you want me to do something about it?”

 

This was unheard of. Was he _flirting_ with her? Without _problems_?! The Hell was going on with him? What… what the Hell was going on with her? That seemed to have caught Zifeara as much off guard as it did him. Her eyes got wide and the blush he always found so cute made an appearance. She held stock still for what felt like forever. Did he just beat her at her own game?

 

Oh god. Zifeara had not planned for this. Yes she needed him to be distracted while she nicked the tape out of the drawer behind him, but she hadn’t thought he would be this… _confident_ with her now. She had thought that after yesterday, he would be avoiding her more than anything else. Granted, even after his earlier actions she should have been more wary of putting herself so close to Saeran like this, but what she had just said wasn’t a lie. She didn’t think she had ever laughed so genuinely hard at anything he had ever said to her this way. Now the problem arising was that she wanted to be hypocritical. She sort of wanted him to do something about it.

Zifeara pulled the tape roll into her sleeve and silently slid the drawer closed again before taking a step back. She could feel her face heating up and it wasn’t doing her any favors. She knew even with as dim as Saeran liked to keep this room that he could see the color in her cheeks because his eyes were huge and he was tilting his head questioningly. She _really_ needed to get them out of here before he figured out being cute with her was _working_.

She unhooked her tablet and quickly moved to the door, mumbling what was supposed to sound like ‘don’t you dare’ but with much less conviction than she’d like to admit. It was definitely embarrassing to think their positions had switched in just a month; she had been the one pulling the rug out from under him when he was trying to be intimidating and in control on day two. Zifeara waited, clenching and unclenching her fist around her tablet as she grew more impatient for Saeran to open the door and usher her into their room. She could feel him staring, certain his eyes hadn’t left her for a second since she told him the file was on his computer. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking him to hurry up and to be honest, she was pretty sure she couldn’t say anything without stammering at the moment. He had been so… _himself_ for a moment; a single instance without the madness, without the anger, without the gap in time since she’d last seen him. An instance where he was Saeran Choi and nothing else.

She could hear him moving behind her, slowly coming to the door. Zifeara didn’t want to own up to tensing, but every muscle in her body was screaming that she’d played with something she shouldn’t have touched. Saeran put one hand on the door handle, but the other he placed on the door near her waist, now trapping her as she did him a moment ago. She had to get them out of here. She couldn’t give in to this, not right now.

 

_“What are you doing?”_

 

She would not turn and look at him. She would not lose sight of what had to be done, not when she was so close. She would not give him the chance to give her _that look_.

 

“Waiting for you to open this damn door. You said I’m going back to our room.”

 

_“No, what are you doing_ **_to me_ ** _?”_

 

He was very close to the right side of her face. He had leaned forward enough that she could feel every inch of his body hovering mere _molecules_ away from touching her. She knew the gravity of the question. They both did.

 

“Endlessly pestering you because I’m your best friend even though I really shouldn’t be?”

 

He growled in annoyance in her ear, putting her a single, taunt thread away from blowing her entire plan.

 

_“You know I don’t like it when you tease me. Moreso now. Are you being coy because you think it’s funny?”_

 

No, I just really can’t have you distracting me from my escape plan and frankly a relationship between the two of us right now would be morally questionable considering I can’t tell if you _like_ me or just want to fuck me and I want _both_ but you’re not in a fit state of mind for _either_.

 

“No, you’re the one who escalated that. I was just hugging you because I was happy you seemed like yourself for a minute.”

 

While that wasn’t untrue, she couldn’t be 100% honest for obvious reasons. Zifeara hated confusing him like this, but it really was ultimately for his own good. She’d deal with the fallout when he was safe. This wasn’t going the way she had planned.

 

_“How much more_ **_myself_ ** _do I need to be for you? I told you, this_ **_is_ ** _who I am. I haven’t changed, I just grew up! What do-”_

 

“You’re wrong!”

 

That did it. Now she did turn, placing their noses hardly any distance apart. She would not be daunted, not now. She wanted him back. The real him.

 

“This place _has_ changed you, Saeran! Do you really want to know the difference between you and your brother? Saeyoung was loud and rash and never thought about what he did before he just did it, which usually got him into some kind of trouble. _He_ grew up. Now you’ve taken to doing all the things your big brother grew out of when you’re the one who _started out_ better. I don’t want you to be Saeyoung, I want you to be _Saeran_ . Saeran was gentle and thought about everything he said before saying it and never _once_ was overbearing because he thought about everyone but himself even though he had it the worst. Saeran used to look at me like I was _family_ , not like I was a pet that would do whatever he said with the snap of his fingers, there to be used for whatever he _wanted_ like a beast of burden. I’m not a person to whoever _you_ are! _You_ are Saeyoung at 10 years old mixed with whatever fucked up mentality this Hell that you refuse to save yourself from has pumped into you. You’re strong enough to help yourself and you won’t do it, but you won’t let _me_ do it because what do I know? I’m only that _thing_ you really like but use merely for your own enjoyment!”

 

Zifeara’s eyes were tearing, but she felt better. Her eyes weren’t the only ones forming a new body of water, but she was beyond done with this. Now that she’d finally gotten it all out, she didn’t want to talk to him. Saeran seemed to be in a state of shock because when she reached into his pocket and took his keycard, he didn’t try to stop her. Not at first. She pushed him back far enough to open the door, throwing it open and making it into the hallway before he realized what he’d just allowed her to do, racing to stop her from getting to the door she knew led outside to freedom. Zifeara unlocked the door to their room before Saeran had almost made it to her, stopping him in his tracks by throwing the card back at him, watching it comically bounce off his head and entering their shared room, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

She… Zifeara had just… _oh shit she had his card_ . She was doing it; she was out in the hallway and she was leaving him, just like he knew she would. She knew where the door to get outside was and they both knew she was faster than he was. The second that girl broke out in a sprint for the exit, he couldn’t catch her. Saeran almost tripped on himself scrambling to get to Zifeara before she could outpace him, but she slapped the keycard against the panel for their door. He didn’t even have time to make a noise before she whipped the card back at him, nailing him square in the forehead. Their door slammed so hard he could feel it in the marrow of his bones. Zifeara just… locked herself back in their room. She had the one thing that would have without fail gotten her out of here _in her hand_ and she used it to slam a door in his face. Because she was mad at him. She didn’t escape out of spite.

 

_“Having problems with your assistant?”_

 

You have no idea. The antagonistic tone was one of the newer disciples, one who hadn’t earned enough common sense not to fuck with him yet. Saeran turned to glare at the young man, not bothering to use his words to answer him; he could tell by the look in the disciple’s eyes that he could _feel_ the question of what could be so important to tear the hacker away from his current situation.

 

_“Uh um… You're needed down the hall. Another disciple said they had to ask you a few questions… said they'd be in the worship hall.”_

 

“What was their number?”

 

_“N-number? Oh, I… I didn't …”_

 

The boy was taller than Saeran but looked like a child as he shrunk back from the senior member's tone.

 

“You _always_ ask a disciple their number when handling orders. Now I don't know who sent you and if it's worth my time. Tell me _your_ number and then get out of my sight.”

 

_“D-D 228 s-sir.”_

 

The man turned tail and scurried down the hall leaving Saeran with a sour taste in his mouth. He would have to submit a certain disciple for an evaluation. That kid could use some _reconditioning_ . The hacker grimaced to himself thinking about who could possibly want to see him right now of all times, but sulked off to the worship hall to see what the fuss was about. He'd deal with his _other_ problem later.

The large wooden door softly creaked as Saeran poked his head into the spacious hall, lit candles providing a dim and reverent light for him to scan the room with. At this time, most disciples were either in bed or finishing up late night tasks in their rooms, so the hall was empty save for one figure in the far corner. The other disciple turned around once Saeran had gotten close enough to touch him, and he immediately wished he hadn't come.

 

_“Saeran?”_

 

“Shit, this was a waste of time. What do you want, Jihyun?”

 

The teal haired man was looking at where he assumed Saeran’s eyes were and it was obvious his vision was poor by how unfocus and wavering they were. The younger man almost turned to leave right then, but the first thing out of V’s mouth made him hesitate.

 

“I hear you have yourself an assistant now, Saeran. How is she?”

 

Pissing him off, that's how she was. Zifeara… shouldn't be here. Of course, how could he be so stupid? V was trying to get information from him like he always did, the traitor. V always pretended to care before he fucked everyone over. Well it wasn't going to work; if Saeran slipped out that Zifeara was here, he would get her taken away for certain. Worse yet, he could get the entire RFA descending on Magenta all at once if he wasn't careful.

 

“Efficient. Do you mind? I'm busy and don't have time for the likes of _you_.”

 

_“Saeran, please, I know something has happened to you. You're acting differently. The last time this happened, you started dressing differently. We aren't on the best of terms, but-”_

 

“Hahahaha, _the best of terms_ ? Is that what you call complete and utter hatred in your corrupt little mind? How dare you even speak to me. If it were up to me I would have had you _dealt with_ long ago, but the Savior is convinced you can still be persuaded to join us. You're very lucky they favor you, but your luck ends there. I see you poking around near my room, near my _assistant_ , and I will ensure your failing sight is the least pressing thing in a very long list of your daily tribulations. Do you understand?”

 

The older man seemed surprised at the sudden, very strong vehemence, which was idiotic considering this was often the case between him and the hacker.

 

_“So that is it.”_

 

“What the Hell are you talking about? I asked you a question, heathen!”

 

V was proving to be an immense source of irritation he didn't need today. Saeran was just shy of throwing this man out of Magenta himself despite what the Savior said until the older man uttered one more sentence.

 

_“You care for her, don't you?”_

 

_Yes._ Saeran didn't know if the heat he felt throughout his body was rage or embarrassment from the immediate answer his own mind put forth. It was definitely the rage; of course he cared for Zifeara. He always had and now she was _his_ . His assistant, his artist, his source of comfort. His… person. **_Yes_ ** . His princess. His _goddess_. He cared for her like he cared for oxygen and it… hurt that she was mad at him. It burned. He needed to breathe.

 

“You stay away from her, Jihyun. I will not tell you twice. I have far more important things to do than anything with you right now.”

 

Saeran swung around and stormed back out the way he came, not giving V any more of his valuable time. He had some… research to do. He was unsure how to quell the anger of his deity of choice, but was certain it was not simply done with words and gentle touching this time.

 

***

 

He could feel it; the sneaking suspicions and the harbored feeling of dread melding together into a whole new monster to face. V watched the blurred form in front of him turn on his heel and beat a hasty retreat from the room, obviously bothered and now on the defensive. That settled it. He had been right; there was definitely something going on with Saeran, but this was not what he had expected. He really hoped he was wrong about this. The times fit together so closely though. There was no possible way that whatever it was Saeran did for Mint Eye… had to do with the RFA, right? No conceivable way that he could be the one who had hacked them? No fathomable way that… Zifeara was no more than 200 _feet_ away at this precise moment… right?

 

***

 

“Zifeara?”

 

_“Yeah, Saeran?”_

 

“Do you… do you think Saeyoung is really coming back?”

 

She turned to look his way, pausing the drawing she was making of him. Her eyes shimmered in the lantern light, confidence and sympathy overwhelmingly obvious and she moved closer to pull him into her arms.

 

_“Of course I do. Sae doesn't break promises, just like me, right? He promised he'd come back and let me know he was safe and he was taking you with him, and then said you'd both come back once things settled down. Why do you ask?”_

 

He hesitated. He wanted to believe more than anything his brother was telling the truth, really he did. He also wanted to put an end to the Hell he lived in. Things had gotten so much worse for him now that Saeyoung wasn't around to protect him. He now received all of his mother's anger, all her beatings, all of her paranoid smothering now that she was convinced their father had found his twin. It was harder to get Zifeara into their room too; his mother stayed gone for shorter periods of time than she used to ever since their two became one. He wasn't eating as well as his growing body demanded and he felt… smaller than his twin had been. Stunted. He was always the weaker of the two, but now it showed; Zifeara was bigger than him now. Sitting there with her arms wrapped around his shoulders, he could feel how her lean frame overshadowed him slightly, how her chest had a substance to it that his did not, how her limbs had muscle where his had none. She was growing up while he seemed to be wasting away.

 

“Because… it's been a while. It's… been hard. I miss him…”

 

_“I miss him too, Saeran. Trust me, he will come back for you. For both of us. If not for me, then definitely for you; you're his_ **_brother_ ** _and I know he loves you more than life itself. He only left in the first place because he found someplace nice that he's getting ready for you right now. Just hold on a little longer, okay? I'm still right here with you and I'm absolutely not going anywhere. I promised.”_

 

It was true that Zifeara never broke her promises. She had kept every single one she had ever made to either twin, no matter how insignificant. He on the other hand… had broken a promise to her. He had promised to tell her if he was starting to be unable to handle what was happening to him at home… and he hadn't. He couldn't get her in trouble, he just couldn't. And what could she do? If she told an adult, awful things would happen to him and their father could find him.

She turned his head to make him look at her, smile gentle with a fondness that had held his heart for the past 8 years. She was his guardian angel, though she could work no miracles. That wasn't exactly true… He always felt Zifeara was a miracle in and of herself. She must have sensed his unease in the way she always did, for [she started to sing](https://youtu.be/5PzL8aL6jtI), slowly and deliberately.

 

_“The sun’ll come out, tomorrow,_

_Bet your bottom dollar_

_That tomorrow,_

_There’ll be sun.”_

 

She liked to sing him this one when he felt uncertain about waiting for things, saying her aunt always sung it for her when she herself was questioning the future. Zifeara's voice had only gotten better with age, her high notes more melodic than ever and a wide array of deep notes available to her now. Saeran could never feel sad for too long when she sang for him. This was something that to his knowledge, she had actually never done for Saeyoung. Only him. The hand that was on his face stroked along his jawline soothingly, reassuring him that she really would be there. Right now. Tomorrow. Forever.

 

_“Just thinkin’ about,_

_Tomorrow,_

_Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow.”_

 

He surely had plenty of sorrow and she seemed determined ease as much of it as she could in just a short moment. This never lasted long enough for him. He was almost 16 now, if Saeyoung got here soon, by the time he was an adult… maybe he could try to make this last forever. He smiled at her, making her sing a little softer.

 

_“Till there's none!_

_When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely,_

_I just stick out my chin,”_

 

She did.

 

_“And grin,”_

 

She was.

 

_“And saaaaaay?”_

 

He knew what she wanted. He wouldn't sing it for her, his voice was horrible, but he would sort of sing-song it since it made her happy.

 

“Oh, the sun’'ll come out- to-mor-row,”

 

_“So you gotta_ **_hang on_ ** _till tomorrow._

_Come what may,”_

 

“Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.”

 

She smiled widely, causing him to smile too. He hoped he would always remember the way she smiled. It… did things to him.

 

_“You're only_

_A day away.”_

 

Saeran could feel the tension in his body relax, but this always did cause a different problem; he certainly wasn't a child anymore and neither was she. _She_ was an adult. Part of that thickness he was lacking in his chest that was made up in hers didn't just come from eating and living better than him. Part of that thickness led to a problem he didn't want to admit having around her recently and that he hoped she'd just attribute to his shyness. He wanted so badly to tell Zifeara all the things she made him feel, but from what little he had learned in church, most of it was probably connected to several sins. He knew she didn't put much stock in religious things, but the last person he wanted to get her in trouble with was a _god_ . He was a lost cause in that department, so it didn't matter that he did what every priest said not to do once in awhile, though he was unsure if simply _thinking_ of her while he did such things incriminated her or not. She hadn't been struck by lightning yet, so he supposed it didn't.

 

_“Feel better?”_

 

Yes and no. I definitely feel something you shouldn't know about right now. Or… should you? Was it actually wrong to keep this from her? There was really no good way to ask, but maybe he could at least… hint that he found her attractive? Was that even possible?

 

“Yeah, thank you, Zifeara. I… I don't know what I'd do without you. A-and um…”

 

_“Hmm?”_

 

She was looking at him so expectantly. Saeran felt his face growing hot, unsure of how he could word everything he wanted to say at once while really saying as little as he could as not to overwhelm her. He couldn't lose her too.

 

“Uhm, you- you're, I…”

 

Oh god this was awful. He had done this several times before and he couldn't do it again. C’mon, keep your voice at an even volume for once and just say ‘I think you're pretty’. It came out as a mumbled whisper.

 

“I like your face…”

 

Goddamn it.

 

_“What did you just say?”_

 

She had an amused smile on her face, though she clearly was a bit confused, so she really hadn't heard him. This was bad. He was a little louder than he meant to be. Again.

 

“N-nothing! Uh, your, your voice is nice! But, well, you knew that, uh… I um, I probably have to go… I've been gone a while…”

  
They both reluctantly said their goodbyes and exited their secret cave. Saeran still hated that tunnel after all this time, but it was a small price to pay for having Zifeara to himself for a while. As he watched her wave and walk away through the woods to her own house, Saeran noticed something he hadn't before. When she walked, her hips actually swayed a bit, even though she was going in a straight line. Did that always happen? He made the mistake of following them down, eyes flowing over the curve of her ass. How… how had he never noticed _that_ before? God, she really did just keep getting better… He had to stop thinking about this _right now_ ; Saeran had to go home, take his beating, and be sent to his room. Tonight he would be left alone and could revisit the image he was engraving in his mind. He really hoped that when Saeyoung came back and saw Zifeara that his twin would have forgotten his affection for this one particular angel. It would be a Hell of a fight between the two of them if he hadn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, Saeran has some major sucking up to do...
> 
> Yes, I will be playing the new Ray route, no it will not effect where this fic is going at all. I'll probably be stress writing because of it, actually.


	9. Beautiful Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fix one thing, break another. Emotions are toyed with, emotions are painful. A storm is coming and it looks familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, this chapter killed me to write and it is my favorite so far. Don't be afraid to tell me what a horrible person I am, I can take it.

He felt so stupid. This whole thing was stupid and he should just forget about all of this. It wasn't going to work anyway. Saeran ran a hand through his hair while he paced the floor of his office. There was only so much the internet could tell him about sucking up to a girl, and _his_ girl was abnormal by all accounts. Surely this was the end of it; he had lost all the progress he had made in winning Zifeara over and she would continue to fantasize about his much more _grown up_ brother. God, he really hadn't thought he'd been… that bad to her. He gave her only the easiest of his tasks to keep her somewhat occupied, only asked for a single drawing a day which she liked doing anyway, shared his bed with her though he could have stranded her in the office, strongly endeavored to learn the silly hobbies she busied herself with in an effort to be close to her… What more did he even have to give to this woman to make her happy? Hell, Saeran had more than tried to give her his body too and that had been the worst part. He was trying his hardest but she was again upset.

She had said there was a problem with how he acted towards her… as though she were a pet. If he was being honest, she sort of was. She was far less useful to him than the term ‘assistant’ would lead one to believe; he brought her here because he just… wanted to. Zifeara didn't know this, though. Zifeara was mad because… they had once been friends and now… she felt like he didn't value her the same way as he used to? If anything he valued her more now. Now he got to spend every day with her in ways he had only dreamed of. He got to hold her close to him just because he felt like it and feel her breathe and hear her hum little melodies to herself and watch her face change ever so slightly while she was drawing and-

Saeran sighed. ‘ _I’m only that_ **_thing_ ** _you really like but use merely for your own enjoyment_ ’. She was a thing he really liked and he did enjoy her. He enjoyed everything about her. But Zifeara had referred to herself as a thing and that was bad. As far as he could tell, that was probably the root of her anger: feeling like an object. She had high self esteem and she always had. She didn't like not being in control. There was only so much control he could give her. She wanted him to be… himself. He apparently had chosen to be the wrong self. Saeran needed to find a different self and fast. One that he could continue to be. One Zifeara liked.

He took a deep breath, trying to remember what had worked for her so far. What made her laugh. How he had been in the scattered memories of the past he had acquired. What she would tolerate and what had irked her. Zifeara was turning out to be harder to please than the Savior. Then again, goddess was on a higher tier than prophet. No one said aiming high was easy. The hacker grabbed his peace offering off his desk and traversed the hallway to the door blocking the way to the dragon's den. He could swear that he felt the furious energy spilling from under the crack like oil on the sea. Fuck.

Saeran unlocked the door, opening it just a sliver and waiting. No yelling. Peeking around the door, he found Zifeara on the bed as per usual, already glaring hard in his direction. She held eye contact for about 3 seconds before returning to whatever she was drawing, expecting him to leave now that he had confirmation she was still not welcoming. If he left now, he wouldn't go through with this. He moved around the door, shutting it behind him and mustering as much confidence as he was able.

 

“Zifeara.”

 

_Thwump._ One of the pillows from the bed crashed into his chest with as much force as a pillow really could. Okay, he deserved that. Saeran was glad he had decided to hide his apology present behind his back or that would have been unfortunate. She was still drawing, refusing to give him any more of her attention than a warning shot.

 

“At least hear me out. I was wrong. Again. I uh... you know I never really had a chance to socialize much and that hasn't changed, so I don't know how to act with people. I also still don't remember a lot about you; it comes back kinda slowly for me.”

 

She was still drawing, slower now so she was definitely listening, but she wasn't impressed yet.

 

“What… what I'm trying to say is that… that I meant what I said when I told you I wanted to make you happy. I also haven't the faintest idea of _how_ to do that until you tell me.”

 

Now her stylus stopped. Her brows were furrowed as she stared at her work.

 

“I thought it would be easy; give you simple jobs so you can spend time doing what you like, play along with your stupid games and your damn dancing and useless paper animals, play whatever music you want, anything you wanted that didn't interfere with my work or get me in trouble. That all seemed to be working just fine. Then I thought you were happy enough that _I_ could make myself happy _with_ you and that didn't work. Clearly. I'm not going to pretend I don't still want that, I-I mean we could definitely still-”

 

_Thwump_. The other pillow was just as well aimed. He was going in the wrong direction. She was back to actively working, eyes more narrowed. He cleared his throat.

 

“This time you told me _why_ you weren't happy and I can't say I completely understand it. But I think I do enough. I stand by what I said: I did grow up. Problem is, I… don't remember what I grew up _from_. As much as I don't remember you… I don't remember much of anything. I don't remember myself. So whoever I am now doesn't know what you want me to be.”

 

She stopped again. Still wouldn't look at him, but looked less angry.

 

“Whatever that is, I'm not him. What you see is what you get and aside from a thing or two, that's not changing. This is who I am and you're fucking stuck with me. Because you promised you would be.”

 

Now she looked up. She knew damn well she never broke her promises. She also went back to full angry.

 

“That thing or two I can change though… I’ll… I'll change only for you. Because _that's_ what makes you happy.”

 

There it was. All that anger melted out and Zifeara’s expression became the oddest mixture of confused and sad he may have seen yet. Was… was that wrong? She had nothing else to throw, so he wasn't sure.

 

“The first thing I can change is the one I'm pretty sure pissed you off the most.”

 

He took enough steps forward to put him at the foot of the bed, just a few inches away from her. He pulled his offering from behind his back and presented it to Zifeara, watching nervously as her eyes widened and she seemed... almost distressed. Shit, was _this_ wrong?

 

“I th-think that when a- a guy fucks up, he, uh, usually comes back w-with flowers, right? That’s what… you do for a _person_?”

 

As thankful as he now was the Savior had insisted on an expansive garden, Saeran was equally vexed that it included more types and colors of flowers than he had keys on his keyboard. And _none_ of them were black. He had pretty much no clue what he was supposed to bring back when he went out there in the first place. All he could remember was something vague Zifeara had said about flowers a long time ago… something he wasn't even sure was real. The first thing that caught his eye had been these white lilies that had stripes of pink running down the middle of their petals; those he grabbed because they looked like his hair, but if he wasn't completely insane yet, he was pretty sure Zifeara didn't like pink. Since black didn't seem to be an option, the next best thing he could match to the flowers that looked like him were another set of lilies that were somewhat close in color to her eyes. There was just something about lilies in particular that seemed… right. Saeran’s heart sank as soon as she spoke.

 

_“Y-you didn't bring me roses…”_

 

Of course he fucked this up. He always fucked everything up. This was what he got for trying to have anything he wanted… He should have just let her get over it in time and stayed in his office.

 

“N-no... I’m- god, I shouldn't have thought that this would fix-”

 

Why did this _hurt_ ? He was emotionally drained from the start with everything that had happened but… Saeran felt like he was breaking down. He had let all his walls down for just this one moment for Zifeara and it didn't make any difference. It really was just _him_ she didn't want. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes and it scared him. Maybe that was for the best; he ruined everything he touched and he knew it. He had never been allowed happiness before, so why should he be now? He went to pull the flowers back, close to his chest so he could remove himself from her presence, but Zifeara reached out and placed her hand over his and pulled back. She was smiling, but it looked like she was about to cry too.

 

_“Saeran, you didn't bring me roses!”_

 

Did she have to rub it in? She was enjoying tormenting him just like everyone else. How could he have thought-

 

_“I hate roses! Saeran, lilies are my_ **_favorite_ ** _flowers… You remembered...”_

 

They… they were? Zifeara reached her other hand out, still not removing the one over his and used both to pull the bouquet close enough to smell it. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. He could feel his face heating up again. This wasn't like the heat he felt last night; this was soft and pleasant, not something making him impulsive. This was terrifying. He didn't know what this was but he didn't want it to stop. _This was bad_. She gazed at him over the flowers, smile wide and sad-looking eyes unreadable.

 

_“Thank you. These white ones? These are called stargazer lilies and there's only one other type I like better. Hahahaha, how did you know?”_

 

Saeran shrugged, starting to be more than a bit uncomfortable. He didn't. He had simply picked a flower that reminded him of each of them and put them together, hoping that somehow that would bring him luck in his current endeavor. Zifeara was giving him too much credit, but he would take it right now; this seemed to have worked and she looked pleased.

 

_“Think you can find me a vase or something to put these in?”_

 

Zifeara watched Saeran’s face redden, swallowing the minute freckles across the bridge of his nose she loved so much. You knew the twins were really embarrassed when those disappeared. This was entirely unexpected; she had thought he would have stayed away from her and pouted till god knows when or even stormed in and demanded that she make up for showing him such disrespect. Both of those sounded much more like him but… this was what she had wanted. This was _Saeran_. It was impossible to stay mad at this point so she gave up. Zifeara really hoped his feelings wouldn't change once they got out of here… she wanted to give him what he wanted so badly.

She had asked him for a vase and he nodded and slipped his hand out from under hers to go find one. As soon as he shut the door, Zifeara let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding. Saeran was making it more and more difficult every time she had to lie to him, like she had about the CDs. She brought the flowers back up to her nose, taking another deep breath and letting her mind think back to the last time she had seen lilies like these. They had been in church and someone was having a wedding. She stole cake to take it back to Saeran. That must have been when she said something about the flowers; when they were eating their cake quietly in his room. She couldn't help but wonder what else from that conversation Saeran remembered… He left just a week after that. Zifeara hadn't been to church since. There was nothing there for her anymore.

 

***

 

_“You okay?”_

 

Malaya was standing over her as she sat on the ground with her back to the wall, hidden away from the world under the large tree. Zifeara had just come out of her secret cave and didn't want to go home yet. She was happy Saeran was going somewhere better for him, but Saeyoung broke his promise; he didn't come back for his brother. Nor did he come back to see her. She wasn't sure how long she'd been quietly crying for, but it was long enough that her trouble buddy had gotten concerned and come to find her. Zifeara was an adult for fuck’s sake and yet more often than she'd like to admit, she leaned on Fang and Malaya for things she should be able to deal with herself. Emotions sucked.

 

“Yeah. I just miss them, that's all.”

 

_“They will be okay. You'll see them again.”_

 

“Will I? Saeyoung said he'd come back to get Saeran and that didn't happen. I don't know where Rika was taking him, nor do I know where V took Sae. I just hope they really are somewhere better. I can't be sure of anything. You and Kai are all I have again. You know Aunt Hem isn't doing well…”

 

_“Do you want me to ask Michael to find them?”_

 

“Do you think he can? They're supposed to be somewhere no one can find them for reasons I'm not supposed to know… I wonder if… No. That's selfish of me, I shouldn't try to find them. If I do, it might endanger them. That's why they left. If… if they can come back… at least Saeran will. And he'll probably take me to Saeyoung so I can hit him for breaking a promise.”

 

_“I will ask at least for a general location. So you don't have to worry anymore. And also so we can go beat them up if they don't come back. Drag them back.”_

 

That at least got Zifeara to smile a little, but she shook her head.

 

“We can't drag them here, Mal. As much as I may miss them, if anything I have to go to where they are. They aren't safe here. You should know what that's like. Besides, Kai doesn't do gentle beatings when I'm upset, he'll kill my twins and that's not what I want, hahaha.”

 

_“So we kidnap them for a vacation somewhere else. And then put them back? But visit at least. We can take care of your twins.”_ Malaya blinked. _“That came out wrong.”_

 

“I appreciate the sentiment, but Saeyoung said he had a good plan, and I don't want to ruin that. Besides, we would have to find them at all to do anything now. I wish I could have talked Sae into telling me what exactly he was doing… maybe then I could have talked to Michael about them earlier. V doesn't seem like a bad guy or anything, I just have to wonder if he really did what was best for them. Both of them. At least with the Underground, I know they'd be really well off. And I could see them all the time. I can't even call them now. I should have never let Saeyoung do this by himself...”

 

_“Hey, they will be okay. They are stubborn. Otherwise you wouldn't like them so much. They'll be back.”_

 

“Yeah, Saeyoung is, that's for sure, but it's Saeran I'm more worried about. He's never been by himself before; even when Sae left, he had me. He's a lot more… delicate than his brother.”

 

_“From what little you've told me, and from what I came from I can tell you that Saeran is just as stubborn as Saeyoung. Differently yes, but he will be okay too.”_

 

Zifeara sighed and looked away from her friend, really hoping that was true. She hadn't even really gotten to say much of a goodbye to her favorite twin, but at least it was more than she'd gotten for the older of the two. She hadn't gotten anything more than a letter from Saeyoung. She must have been making a face because she could hear Malaya becoming less supportive in her traditional way. This moping was wearing on the other girl’s nerves.

 

_“I swear this is like a reverse fairytale. The dragon lost her Little Prince and now she's sad. You have the tools to find and get him back. Do the thing or go catch another little prince to hoard.”_ Malaya flopped over onto her.

 

There was a solid 40 seconds of Zifeara just staring open mouthed at her friend, face quickly reddening at all the implications in that few sentences she wasn't even sure Malaya _could_ make much the less would. Then the sputtering started. Zifeara pushed Mal off her and onto the ground.

 

“Sh-shut up! I would be exactly as distressed and probably moreso if it were you or Kai!”

 

_“Liar. You would've skipped the whole 'hiding under a tree and cry’ part. Also you know you're stuck with us. Do dragons have flocks? Little Prince is different.”_

 

“What? What do you mean?”

 

_“We are family. You_ ** _like_** _him. Like kissy like him.”_ Malaya laughed _._

 

“Would you- how old are you? Fuck off, Mal. I don't have to like every cute guy I see. That isn't how it works, even for me. Sleeping with does not equal like.”

 

_“Wait. You slept with him?”_

 

“What? No! I- ugh. He's _your age_ , of course I haven't. I figured I had to explain this to you again after last month considering you thought I was dating half the school since you don't seem to get the concept. Besides, I'm pretty sure that Saeran doesn't understand the concept either, he's more sheltered than you in a way. So fuck you.”

 

_“I'm not sheltered. I just don't care. Also I'm friends with you and had three parents. So shush. I mean you don't miss all of those other people. But you miss Saeran. So ha.”_

 

“Alright, first of all, you just defined sexual attraction as ‘kissy like’ at nearly sixteen years old, so that counts as sheltered if I've ever seen it. Secondly, I don't miss all the other guys because I was never friends with them; they were hot, I wanted to fuck them, I did. I never talked to them before or after that. The Choi twins, _both of them_ , are my friends, it’s… different. They aren't family, no, but still. That and if anything, it was Saeyoung who had a crush on me, but I'm the only girl he's ever known, so shut up.”

 

_“I did not hear a single denial in any of that.”_

 

“Oh my god, you're worse than Kai! Why am I friends with you? Just… ugh, you're impossible. Get away from me.”

 

Malaya paused. _“I didn't mean to make you mad?”_

 

It wasn't exactly anger that she was feeling, but Zifeara was definitely annoyed at the least. She definitely did not have have a crush on the tiny twin she had outweighed for a solid year. He was not her type. Cute, absolutely, but super not her type. Also he had way too many problems for anything to be possible between them. And was god knows where now. She just rolled her eyes and stood, intending to go home hopefully unaccompanied. She could feel the heat in her face and she didn't like it.

 

“Go home, Mal. I'm not going to church anymore. I'll text you when I want to see you.”

 

Mal left without a word. Zifeara sort of felt bad about how short she was with the younger girl, but not bad enough to stop her plans of going home and probably throwing  thing or two out of irritation. What did Mal know. Zifeara knew who she did and didn't like and the Choi twins were always friends. Just because she liked one more than the other didn't mean anything.

 

***

 

This was bad. Saeran was carrying a vase of all things back to his room because somehow that had worked. Which was good. But now he had to be very careful of what he said and did around Zifeara, meaning he treated her with more respect than he did the Savior. Which was bad. If he needed his goddess more than his Savior… maybe Zifeara was right. Maybe he could just take her and go. Maybe it could be good. But there was no way to keep her to himself out there, no one to help him make his miserable brother pay for all he'd been through, no place for him to go where he could feel like he meant something. All of that was bad. He was losing sight of what he really wanted. That was definitely bad. He needed to make Saeyoung suffer as he had; living days filled with harsh beatings, starvation, dehydration, emptiness… no visits from Zifeara. Maybe installing a room with soundproofing and a one-way mirror so Saeyoung could see her but not touch her, not talk to her… could see her happy with him instead. He liked this. This was what he needed the Savior for. They could give him that and Zifeara could give him everything else. Saeran just had to be the perfect servant to two opposing forces. He could do that. He lived to please. He was bad. But he could be good for her.

 

***

 

Last night had been hard. Saeyoung had been out galavanting around for too long and his mother had gotten impatient. Impatient enough to forget her one rule. Saeran thumbed the bruise on his neck, nervous and ashamed. He only had one sweater that could possibly hide this as long as he didn’t move too much and his other hand clung to it for dear life. Saeyoung had made a million apologies and blamed the weather for why he was too slow, but they both knew their mother’s temper had not an ounce of predictability. The only thing making Saeran feel worse was the nagging feeling deep down that he couldn’t seem to banish; what if his brother had been late because he stopped by the church? Yesterday was Zifeara’s scheduled day for confessional. They both knew she’d be there. Saeran shook his head. He knew better. Saeyoung wouldn’t put him in danger like that, even to see her.

Today posed a new problem. Today they were _both_ sneaking out to see Zifeara. Their mother was about to leave them alone till tomorrow, off to some important thing or another. She was locking them in the house, confident they couldn’t get out. Saeran was just thankful they’d been able to keep their window a secret from her for so long. Now as both twins scrambled out, putting the screen back in as normal of a position as they could from the outside, Saeran was perking up a little. They had the backpack with them so they could bring twice as much food to fill their hoard. Zifeara stashed some extra in their secret cave for them to take because they didn’t get this chance very often.

Gazing up at the colossal tree that guarded their safe haven, the younger twin swallowed hard. He wished it wasn’t so scary to get to Zifeara. He kind of despised this tree. The hidden tunnel under it was always too tight- always seemed ready to crush him at any given moment. Making Saeyoung go first usually helped, though it meant he was the first to see their girl. It was a tough choice, but cowardice always won out. Once he was far enough in, Saeran heard the unmistakable ringing of his favorite sound; Zifeara was laughing at something his brother had said to her. She had just released him from her hug, still holding his arms by the elbow as he was hers, giggling loudly at an unknown joke. God Saeran wished _he_ could make her laugh like that. He wanted to be the cause of the painful twinge in her sides brought on by amusement. She had never laughed like that for him; not once in the 5 years he’d know her had he been able to do that. Saeyoung managed to just about every other time they saw her. He hated it.

Now that she could open her eyes again, Zifeara spotted him, dropping his brother’s arms to come deliver his hug. Saeran held her tightly, probably noticeably moreso than usual, but he couldn’t help it. He had just about thought he was really going to die yesterday. He might never see her again. He buried his face in the soft hair falling over her shoulder, taking a deep breath to let everything about her relax him.

 

Naturally Zifeara noticed something was off, running a hand previously over his shoulders though his hair, petting in a soothing manner. _“Saeran, are you okay? What’s the matter?”_

 

He knew she would ask, not daring raise his voice past a quiet murmur so as not to break the spell she was casting over him.

 

“Mmm. Just had a nightmare last night… that’s all. ‘M fine.”

 

She hummed in his ear, making him shiver slightly. _“You sure? You feel really tense, hun.”_

 

Saeran let his shoulders drop, unaware he’d been hunching them so hard. The arm around his neck tightened and he leaned some of his weight forward, molding himself more snugly to Zifeara’s form. He nodded against her shoulder.

 

“Yeah. Just scared me… a lot.”

 

He almost stopped her from pulling away to put space enough between them to meet his eyes and smile. Almost.

 

_“Well the good news is, I managed to bring a couple movies with me. Found Aunt Hem’s portable DVD player yesterday. Let’s go huddle up and watch that. I bet you’ll feel better afterwards.”_

 

He nodded, thankful for the way when Zifeara let go, she still had hold of his hand, softly pulling him with her to find somewhere comfortable to sit. A long time ago, she had put lots of old blankets and such in here, meaning they could make a nest to allow them to settle in comfortably while they watched the movies. Zifeara sat snugly in between the two of them like always, holding the DVD player in her lap. Saeyoung was sitting up straight, letting her lean back on him slightly while Saeran had his head on her shoulder. He was still a ball of nerves, but halfway into the movie, Zifeara started absentmindedly petting his hair again. The hand that wasn’t holding the movie carded through his locks, making him somewhat forget they were watching anything at all.

Saeran relaxed all the way, boneless under Zifeara’s hand. If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall over into her lap and onto the device. He had never known that such a simple touch would affect him this way. The feel of her fingers dragging along his scalp was so soothing, the soft brush of his hair so mind numbing. He could feel it working to make him forget, just for a short while, that he had any problems whatsoever. Help him pretend everything was ok. He would hear her and Saeyoung laugh about something in the forgotten movie once in a while, but he mostly tuned it out, instead focusing on this feeling. She continued this till the credits to the film played. Saeran really didn’t want her to stop. Ever.

Since they knew they had all day, they shuffled around and Zifeara put the second movie in. She only had two before they were set to go play outside after dropping all the food off at their room. This time they made more of a bed out of the blankets so they could lay down. She was still in the middle with all three on their stomachs, meaning there was no way Saeran could persuade her to continue her motions. He sighed, settling for pressing his body as close to hers as he could physically get. Based on how close under her she held her arms, Saeyoung had done the same.

As this new movie wore on, they all shifted around slightly from time to time, but there was no opportunity for Saeran to solicit any more comfort from Zifeara. He was feeling better, but now that he knew she was capable of putting him in utter bliss, he wanted her to do it again. That wasn’t exactly something he could just verbally ask for… The almost imperceptible sigh from his brother caught his attention. Sliding his eyes sideways, he was a little annoyed to find that Zifeara had chosen to lean her head against Saeyoung’s arm. She was snickering at something he’d leaned further in to say, his mouth right next to her ear. Surely this was payback for the wasp thing last month.

Saeran wanted to do something about it, but he didn’t didn’t want to seem like a whining child. Zifeara was allowed to be close to his brother. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted. He just wished it didn’t sting so badly. Everytime he thought he was getting special treatment, Zifeara would give something else to Saeyoung that he didn’t have. He knew his twin was better than him, but that didn’t make it any easier to live with. Saeran sat through the whole movie moping, not daring to give even the slightest indication that he wasn’t paying attention to whatever was happening on the small screen. Instead he was focusing on what little contact with Zifeara he still had.

With the second film out of the way, Saeyoung offered to carry all the food home himself. He assured Zifeara it would be faster than sneaking all three of them back across the street and once she was convinced he could carry both backpacks without dropping something, she helped push the bags down the tunnel and waved him off. And now she was all his. Saeran could feel his mouth dry. This was what he had always wanted, but he didn’t know what to do with it. Sitting up straighter as she returned to the pile of blankets, he went to ask her what she’d like to play once they got outside. Maybe if he was lucky, she’d want to play kingdoms and he could be the prince this time… The change of expression in Zifeara’s face strangled any words he was about to produce. She went from eyes glimmering with excitement and a smile plastered across her face to what looked like abject horror. What did he do? He hadn’t even said anything yet! Why was she-

Saeran realized with dread that sliding himself up from his stomach earlier had pulled the collar of his sweater down a little. It was far enough. He clapped his left hand over imprint of his mother’s much larger fingers, looking down to try to stop Zifeara from seeing the tears form in his eyes. She should never have known. He had failed, gotten too careless and now she too was going to tell him he was weak. He always did bruise so easily. Across from him, she was silent as the grave. He could feel her gaze burning the hand he had trying to stop her from getting a good look at the mark he had taken on for his brother. He felt her scoot closer to him.

Her right hand slipped over his left, hooking her fingers in between his hand and neck. Pulling. He wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t let her see the purple shame that spread itself across his skin.

Her hand stopped trying to pry his away. Instead Zifeara held still, softly running her thumb over his knuckles. No longer demanding but… coaxing. Comforting. She wasn’t going to hurt him. Zifeara wouldn’t do that… right? Saeran loosened his grip a little, allowing her to take his hand and remove it from his neck. He let it fall and accepted defeat. Zifeara gasped lightly, reaching for him again. She pulled the collar of his sweater a little lower, revealing the bruise in its entirety. He still refused to meet her eyes, even for a second. He was sure the look on her face was now one of disgust.

Saeran flinched hard when she gently slipped her hand around his neck, mimicking the marks already there. The panic rose in his throat, threatening to overrun his logic; Zifeara wasn’t going to hurt him, she never had hurt him, she would _never_ hurt him- She flinched back as well, drawing her hand away. God he felt like such an idiot. She was trying to determine what the bruise was… what had caused it. This time when he felt fingers graze his skin, Saeran held fast. She wouldn’t do anything bad to him. Not ever.

Zifeara’s touch was so slight it almost tickled. When he dared look at her, just to see how disappointed in him she was, all he found was what looked like disbelief. Saeran looked away again.

 

_“Sae… Saeran, what happened?”_

 

He couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t let her know exactly how much his mother hurt him. What she said to him. To _them_. She would worry too much. He kept his eyes on the floor.

 

_“Saeran. That’s… that’s too big to be Saeyoung’s right? He couldn’t have-”_

 

“N-no! He wouldn’t! I-”

 

He hadn’t looked up, but he couldn’t let Zifeara think his own brother had hurt him. Sometimes lying was easier than the truth.

 

“I was bad yesterday. Mom told me to do something and I didn’t. I deserved it.”

 

_“Hey, look at me.”_

 

When he didn’t, the fingers on his neck moved up to his cheek and stroked. When he still wouldn’t look, her other hand met the other side of his face and turned him, making him stare into the otherworldly beauty of her eyes. She didn’t look angry or upset at him, just… sad. Both her thumbs ran long his cheekbones, collecting the singular tear that ran down one.

 

_“You never deserve to be hurt, Saeran. Has… has she done this before? Hurt you like that?”_

 

“No.”

 

Technically that wasn’t a lie. His mother had never choked him before, exactly. Other things yes, but never this. Zifeara opened her mouth again, but he stopped her. He didn’t want her to dwell on this.

 

“Don’t worry about me so much. Saeyoung is learning from that book Rika gave him and we’ll be able to… get out of that house soon. And when we do, I promise I’ll call you. Then we can see each other whenever we want and not b-be scared all the time… right? You’ll come see us?”

 

They had been planning their escape for a little while now, but losing Zifeara was what Saeran was the most worried about. He trusted that Saeyoung could get them out no problem, but how they would see her again was another issue entirely. He didn’t even know if she would want to deal with them anymore anyway. Zifeara was trying to smile, but her eyes wouldn’t perk back up. Her mouth said happy, but they still said upset.

 

_“Of course I will. Promise. Saeran…”_

 

Now her eyes said something else. He didn’t recognize this; it was no combination of her usual visual cues, all of which he knew well since she was _so_ expressive. Whatever she was conveying… flipped a switch in his brain. Something started to happen to him and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. He felt hot; like he had a fever when he was sick, but it didn’t come from the same place. It started in his chest and worked quickly up his neck and into his face. His stomach flipped like he was going to throw up, but it didn’t hurt. It kind of… vibrated almost, nearly making him whimper. His heart was pounding against his ribs, forsaking its natural rhythm to stutter and skip. All this must be making him dizzy; he must have accidentally started swooning forward because Zifeara seemed… closer to him than she had been a moment ago. Saeran’s mind was screaming at him, telling him he _wanted_ something, but in his haze he couldn’t figure it out, couldn’t decipher the signals he was getting from his own brain.

 

Noise from the tunnel behind Zifeara drew his attention. She let go of his face, turning to see Saeyoung coming back into the cavern. The other twin was smiling as he reached back down the hole to pull both packs through. _“Hey guys, what did I miss? Figure out how we want to spend the rest of the day?”_

 

Saeran wasn’t sure what Saeyoung just missed. He didn’t understand what had just occurred… What had Zifeara just done to him? She'd touched him like that before and nothing like this had ever happened. Whatever that just was… didn't go away. It happened again, and again, and again till the day he left. At least by then he'd learned what it was. He was hopelessly in love with Zifeara Nightshade.

 

***

 

After the flower thing, Saeran was extra careful about everything he said to Zifeara. It made him more quiet than usual, which seemed to concern her just like everything else did, but he didn't say a single thing to upset her. The new overshadowing problem was that her evaluation was tomorrow. He was walking on eggshells but he had to tell his assistant to behave. Be silent would be preferable, but Zifeara didn't do silent except when she was angry. He would have to try. They were settling in for the night, him sitting on the bed and her just finishing brushing her teeth. When Zifeara came out of the bathroom, Saeran held his hands out in front of him, beckoning her to him. She still came to him even after everything, placing her hands trustingly in his.

 

“You and I need to talk about something very… important that's happening tomorrow. I wanted to prepare you earlier, but… well. You’re… the worst disciple Mint Eye has ever had.”

 

She raised an eyebrow.

 

_“And I care because?”_

 

“Because there's someone you have to meet tomorrow evening who you have to be a _good_ disciple for. I was supposed to help you adjust to life here and when they see that you haven't, you get taken away from me. So that someone else can make you adjust. That's why… I need you to do what you're good at. I need you to pretend. Just… just like you used to at church when we were kids. Pretend to behave. I don't want you to go anywhere else, you belong here with me. I need you here. Please behave yourself Zifeara, _please_? Just this once.”

 

Saeran wasn't above begging right now; he needed to impress upon her how much he needed this one thing from her. After everything he was doing for her, he just needed this _one_ thing. At least while he was talking, her expression softened and she sighed.

 

_“Alright, Saeran. How does one be a good cultist?”_

 

“Disciple. Mint Eye isn't a cult, we're all here because we believe in our Savior.”

 

_“Except for me?”_

 

Saeran stood an scowled. She had a point, but that didn't exclude her from the rules here. It was hard not to slap the grin right off her face.

 

“Shut up. First rule of life at Magenta is that everyone can be happy here so long as they follow the Savior without question. Second rule is…”

 

Rolling over, Saeran felt cold. The other side of the bed was empty. He shot straight up, scanning the room for its other occupant. Finding her missing, his first instinct was to search his pocket for the keycard that resided there. Zifeara had taken it once and could easily do it again. That was in its proper place, but it didn't do much to calm him. He needed to see her. What if someone came in and took her? His wasn't the only key to the door...

Saeran sprang out of bed, rushing to the bathroom door and almost flung it open before common sense kicked in. Zifeara would be pissed if he just opened it and she was in there. He rapidly knocked, fidgeting for only a few seconds before a familiar face poked out.

 

_“What's the matter? Have a bad dream?”_

 

Oh thank god.

 

“No, I… You weren't in bed.”

 

Zifeara failed to suppress a snicker, pushing the door all the way open and stepping out.

 

_“I had a zit on my forehead that was driving me crazy since yesterday and I finally got it. Congrats, you just freaked out about me being in the bathroom for maybe 5 minutes.”_

 

He shuddered slightly, exhaling a little too loudly. Zifeara just shook her head and placed her hands on his shoulders, turning him around.

 

_“C’mon, back to bed. You don't get enough sleep as it is.”_

 

Grumbling, Saeran allowed himself to be shuffled back to the bed, laying down and attempting to do something acceptable with the blankets. She got in as well, but continued to stare out of the corner of her eye.

 

“What do you want.”

 

_“You're really high strung tonight, you know that?”_

 

Yeah, no shit. He was high strung pretty much every night which was usually her fault anyway. She had her meeting with the Savior in less than 24 hours, then he had to start doing something about the RFA, not to mention keep her entertained and try to get her to like him and get the drawings he wanted and-

 

_“Hey.”_

 

Saeran came back to reality when both her hands moved his face to look at her, curiosity gracing her features.

 

_“Did you hear me? I asked if there was something I could do for you to help.”_

 

He didn't stop himself before he could say exactly what he was thinking.

 

“Nothing that you’ll _let_ me do.”

 

He wasn't sure who looked more surprised, but before he could apologize and try to keep her from getting mad again, Zifeara stopped him with a look he wasn't familiar with and a sigh.

 

_“Sometimes you're such a pain. You make me say no when I want to say yes.”_

 

She pulled his face closer, bringing their lips together and completely short circuiting his brain. He had been good. Good had gotten him something he wanted. Now he was tempted more than ever to be bad. She was testing him. He couldn't ruin this, not now. Not when he might be so close to what he was really after. Saeran pulled back slightly, voice trembling with the worst mixture of anticipation and fear. He could never have exactly what he wanted.

 

“Are- are you teasing me again? B-because you just started something you _better_ intend to finish.”

 

The ever present laughter in her eyes denoted a different type of teasing; the type he very much wished for.

 

_“Haha, you should know me better than that, Saeran. I always finish what I started, even if it takes hours.”_

 

Oh _fuck_. He was bad. Pulling Zifeara back into him, he gave her no time to reconsider. The hand not holding her mouth fast to his moved around her back, urging her to get onto his lap, making it that much easier for him to feel every inch of her body on him. Her fingers ran through his hair while his traveled up her back, tracing her spine and making her shiver. He didn't want to do too much too fast, not like last time, but his consideration was instantly rewarded. Zifeara ran her tongue over his bottom lip, causing him to give a subdued groan and open his mouth for her. There was no comparison to the euphoria he was in right now; knowing that for once, just once, all his efforts to please had paid off. He had done it. He had something he wanted and it felt like true Paradise. It felt like having his tongue in the mouth of the one object of his desire, felt like skin against his as clothing was removed, felt like nails down his back as he pushed the body under his backwards into the mattress of his bed. It felt like a hand that wasn't his up his thigh and over the bulge in the one piece of fabric separating him from living the carnal desire he'd had since he was 14 years old. It felt like suffocating. It felt wrong.

Breathing hard and trying to move his arms, Saeran acutely became aware of the throbbing in his head and the sweat across his chest and neck. The more he moved, the less he could. Zifeara was gone; all that was left was the cold divot her hot body had occupied and the familiar feeling of unfulfilled fantasy he'd become accustomed to.

Opening his eyes, he found himself right where he should be, albeit tangled in every blanket he owned. Fighting through them and looking around his room, he discovered it was suspiciously empty again. He felt his pocket and found the keycard to once again be there, just as he left it. This time when he more fell out of bed than stood from it, he didn't race to the bathroom door considering now he had a bit of problem with walking. He didn't knock.

 

“Zifeara?”

 

_“Jesus, Saeran, you scared the Hell out of me. What do you want?”_

 

He could hear her just fine, but she didn't sound immediately on the other side of the door.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

_“Uuuuuhhhhh, do you really need to know that? I'm in the bathroom at like, 3 am, what do you think I'm doing? You come in here and I kill you.”_

 

He had been reaching his hand towards the door knob just before she warned him against it, making him huff and storm towards the other door. He needed to go sit in his office a while. He wasn't going to get much sleep tonight anyway since he was intensely worried about his assistant's evaluation, but now he wouldn't be able to sleep for a whole _other_ reason. This was going to be a long day. He still had a four hour drive ahead of him tomorrow afternoon.

 

Looking at the clock, Saeran knew he was cutting it close. He hadn't gone to get Zifeara for breakfast, meaning she was probably irritated at him, but he couldn't help it. Not only did he have preparations to make for his trip into town, but after the dream he had last night… he couldn't stand to look at her. He had dealt with the repercussions _twice_ already this morning. Now there was no putting things off; he had to bring her lunch and get his backpack so that he could leave. The Savior said that as soon as he returned from his trip to town, preferably as close to 5 pm as possible, they would see Zifeara. His assistant had agreed to behave, but with Zifeara who knew. He gathered up the few things he'd want to put in his backpack and went to go get his girl something for lunch.

Plate in hand, he hesitated before opening the door to his room. Saeran was planning out exactly what he was going to say to quell the rage she was sure to exhibit from being not only ignored all morning, but starved as well. He didn't mean to put her through that, but it seemed to be the lesser of the two evils. He was used to being the worse option. The lock clicked and he ducked in, ready to launch into apologies, but was surprised to see Zifeara drawing, paying him no mind as she was listening to something good on her yPod. Saeran wasn't sure if he wanted to be yelled at or ignored more.

 

“Zifeara?”

 

She squinted at whatever she was drawing, perfecting some minute detail, absorbed in her work. He watched as she turned her head and scowled, clearly unsatisfied with whatever she'd done. Moving forward into the room, he placed the items in his other hand on the dresser before leaning on the bed.

 

“Zifeara.”

 

Now she looked up, smiling and pausing her music before removing her ear buds and setting her tablet down.

 

_“There you are! Sorry, I was sorta lost in what I was making, haha. You must have been pretty busy last night to not make it back till now, huh?”_

 

She was mad in the nicest way possible.

 

“Yes, and I'm so sorry I didn't bring you breakfast, I lost track of time and I had a lot to do and-”

 

Zifeara shook her head and reached out to ruffle his hair, cutting off his well planned excuses.

 

_“Saeran, it's okay, I'm not mad at you. I don't usually get super hungry till now anyway. Besides, you've never been great at keeping track of what time it is, that's what you have me for. You're supposed to go out today, right?”_

 

She… she wasn't mad? Bullshit, there's no way she wasn't mad, she was just waiting for the right moment to unleash that rage, just like the Savior did. He needed to ensure she knew he was working on something she wanted right now.

 

“Y-yes, I'm leaving for a while to go get the things you asked me for. I have the list right here. Make sure that's all you want before I go.”

 

He pulled the handwritten note from his pocket, unfolding it and passing it to her. Zifeara's smile widened as she accepted the paper, glancing it over and comparing it to existing music on her yPod. She was up to something. There was no reason for her to be happy with him. He kept her hungry this morning. He had been bad lately.

 

_“Looks good to me! How long are you going to be gone for?”_

 

“It takes 2 hours to get there, I should only need to be in town for an hour at most, so 5 hours if I don't hurry.”

 

_“And you're taking your bike?”_

 

He nodded.

 

_“Then don't hurry. I_ **_would_ ** _be mad at you if you got hurt trying to get back here faster. Be safe, okay?”_

 

What the fuck. After everything he'd done to her this week, how was she _not mad_? He knew all too well Zifeara had a tendency to waste her concern on him, but this was impossible. There was no conceivable way he… he'd won her over? Granted he had been on his best behavior since she yelled at him, but even that didn't make him a half decent human being. He couldn't do that. So why was she so…

 

“Yeah. Would you rather be in here or the office?”

 

She gave him a confused look for a moment, obviously not used to having choices. Saeran had taken the power cord to his computer out and had it with him so that if she chose the office, there would be no way for her to operate it.

 

_“I should be fine in here, thanks though.”_

 

Grunting and turning back to the dresser, he fished out his pack and loaded the things he had brought with him into it. He loved this bag, it had so many pockets and pouches for all of his crap. It even had one the perfect size for his phone. With everything where it should be, he went to make his way out the door again to get on his way.

 

_“Saeran?”_

 

Aw, Hell, now what. Zifeara had grabbed onto one of the straps hanging off his backpack, not really impeding his motion, but making her wish for him to stop plenty clear. Slightly turning to look back, Saeran gave another grunt, the one he always made at her when he wanted to stop talking to her and do whatever he was doing. She was looking at him in the oddest way right now and it made him nervous. It was as if she wanted to ask a question, but wasn't sure if she wanted the answer. Just as he started to look irritated and opened his mouth to tell her to come out with whatever it was, Zifeara reached her other hand around to his face, making him turn towards her. He was definitely awake this time when she brought her lips to his. She definitely actually just kissed him.

Saeran had no composure left after last night, no second thoughts to if he should be doing this, just an overwhelming desire to have this one thing. He let his eyes close, turning all the way around and bringing both hands to rest on her hips. Zifeara didn't pull away after the first kiss, lingering and giving him a chance to show that he could be gentle this time. Sort of. He let their lips connect again, this time moving forward slowly until he had her back to the wall just next to the door. One hand he brought up to her jaw angling her face better for him to reach, the other using his thumb to rub circles into her side. He was starting to get worked up again. His mouth was moving faster, eager to keep this moment going and drink in more of the delectable taste of victory. Zifeara started this and she wasn't stopping him from getting more into it. She now had the hand that was on his face on the back of his neck, lightly trailing through the soft hair of his nape. _She wanted him_.

He became acutely aware of the voice that usually told him not to do bad things telling him he needed to stop before he tried to put his tongue into her mouth again. To make sure she wanted what he wanted. Not to scare her this time. Not to ruin everything like he always did. For once it might be right. Saeran broke himself away from his complete bliss just for a moment, still too long, but rested his forehead on hers. Zifeara's eyes opened to meet his, looking no less heated. He was pretty sure they were finally on the same page.

 

“You know… I could just go tomorrow. Stay here with you today.”

 

He could swear he watched her cheeks color as her usual amused grin spread itself across her face.

 

_“You know that'll get you in trouble. You said you were going today, so you have to go.”_

 

He growled in displeasure. She was right of course, but god did he hate the thought of being _anywhere_ but here right now. She giggled.

 

_“Come on, off you get. I'll still be here when you get back. Promise.”_

 

Huffing, Saeran pressed one more kiss, just making sure he still could before releasing his hold and making for the door yet again. If he didn't stop himself now he never would. He had to tear himself out of this room. His head was spinning. He had to sit on his motorcycle for a while before he started it, just breathing and making sure he was really conscious this time. He was awake. And when he got back to Magenta, got back to his _home_ , he'd have everything he truly wanted. Minus one miserable brother. Maybe that wasn't so bad to settle for. For the first time in a long time… he was happy.

 

 

“Fuck.”

 

This was bad. She had let herself get carried away. Zifeara was exactly where Saeran had left her, back still against the wall, heart pounding, head swimming. Bottom lip between her teeth… schoolgirl giddy. Drunk off the perfect feel of Saeran’s lips against hers, off the molten look in his eyes, off the animalistic growl he'd let out that she could still feel in her bones. It was as if that glorious bastard was built for her. Why the actual fuck was he so hot? Why did he have to make that so hard? She had kissed more guys than sharks had teeth, most for just the Hell of it, but it hadn't given her _this_ feeling since maybe only the second time she'd _ever_ done it. She felt like she could start bouncing at any second. This was _really_ bad. He was going to be so mad at her.

Pulling up her hoodie sleeve, Zifeara pulled Saeran’s phone out. She was really lucky her yPod was the same size and pretty much the same weight. If her luck continued, he’d never notice. As much as she really wished there had been another way to distract him from where her other hand was, she had to think fast; the second she saw he had a phone, she knew she needed to have it. It was a far better plan than her current plan. And she did really want to kiss him. Like, an awful lot. Now there was only one thing to do and fast. She was saving him whether he wanted to be or not.

 

***

 

_“Goddamnit!”_

 

You could tell Saeyoung was really done when he had stopped repenting for that. The hacker had just upturned half his system, frustrated and out of options. Fang already had his head on the table, hole worn in it next to where he had been rubbing away at the varnish in impatience. The dog was the only one scared at the outburst at this point. Lazarus took cover behind the cafe counter. Things were not going well. Still.

 

_“I swear, I am all of five seconds from just straight up quitting life. I'm no more help alive than dead. It's been a_ **_month_ ** _and we still. Have. Nothing.”_ Saeyoung joined Fang in head-on-table position, groaning into the wood.

 

Malaya stood on the other side of the newly formed mess, looking worn and clutching a long cold mug of coffee. She hated coffee.

 

“I wouldn’t say nothing…” she mumbled, obviously not believing her own words. “We know where she isn’t?”

 

_“Yeah? So fucking_ **_everywhere?_ ** _She isn't here and that's all that matters.”_ Now Kai was giving her sass. He had been manic from the start, so he was beyond done.

 

_“If I could just have one thing, one tiny little miracle happen, now would be the time. Otherwise I swear off this Jesus stuff. Forever. Fuck it.”_ Saeyoung had never really cursed so much in his life, but it was making him feel better.

 

“You’re not quitting.” Malaya practically growled at them. She was tired of trying to keep their hopes up. She needed her energy to find Zifeara, not baby them.

 

_“Yeah, of course not, Mal. What kind of brother would I be if I did? But what are we even doing anymore? What's left to work on? We just need something. Literally anything.”_ Fang was still on the table, but that was probably the most emphatic he'd sounded about anything in a week. None of them had anything left but caffeine and sheer force of will. They had to find her. They just did.

 

“Then we find that something! We keep looking! Stop moping about!”

 

_“Shit Malaya, what do you think I've been_ **_doing_ ** _over here for the past month, playing Galaga? I've done literally everything I can think of to find the bastards that took the only woman I've ever had feelings for and I have nothing left to go on. What's Zifeara gonna do,_ **_call us_ ** _?”_

 

Fang raised his head, _“Wait, what the fuck did you just-”_

 

Literally the only thing stopping the very exhausted, angry boys from finally coming to blows was the sound of Malaya’s phone.

 

Malaya pulled her phone out of her back pocket and stared at it for a moment. It was the default ringtone. Everybody who had her number had their own specific ringtone. No one should have this number. She answered.

 

“You have ten seconds to tell me who you are-”

 

_“Malaya, listen to me very carefully: I'm fine, I need you to track this number right now, I have at most five hours before they find out I have this phone. When you get here, there's someone else that needs to get out of here with me. He has white hair, green eyes, a leather jacket, and Saeyoung will flip his shit if they run into each other. Got me?”_

 

“Fuck!” Malaya immediately sprinted towards the hidden entrance to the Underground, flailing wildly at Saeyoung and maybe grabbing his hair on the way in an attempt to make him follow. She ran downstairs and shoved her way in between Hellebore and her computer, ignoring the woman’s indignant yelps. She pulled up the correct software and plugged in the number Zifeara was using into it. The program couldn’t possibly start slower.

 

_“I'll take that as a yes. Do the things. Now.”_

 

“Stay on the line for a little longer.”

 

Saeyoung could only stumble-fall after the small girl, Fang running after them, so by the time they stopped moving, he sort of assumed what was going on. _“You're kidding me, right?! Malaya, give-”_

 

Fang reached straight over the both of them and snatched the phone out of Mal’s tiny hand. He had the height advantage. He was flustered enough that what he said into the phone wasn't even Korean. Somehow he defaulted to Japanese on this one. _“Zifeara! Holy shit are you okay? Don't worry, we’re out this door the second we-”_

 

Malaya hit him solidly in the gut, reclaiming the phone when he doubled over. She was busy. She’d apologize later.

 

“How much firepower are we going to need to get to you?”

 

_“Good to know nothing's changed while I've been gone.”_ Zifeara laughed. _“To be a hundred percent honest, I'm not sure. At meal times I've seen at most fifty to eighty people at once, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm still the one with the most firepower in this building. They look pretty shit. Doors run on keycards, so maybe just make a new door? I don't care, as long as you get me_ **_and_ ** _the other one I mentioned out, I couldn't care less. Hand the phone to the Choi, I can hear him somewhere.”_

 

“Got it.” Mal handed the phone over to Saeyoung, already planning as the phone coordinates showed up on screen. She ran to the other side of the room to grab maps and satellite pictures. She snapped at Hellebore to wake up Michael.

 

The redhead took the phone so fast he almost dropped it, glaring at Fang to dissuade him from trying to get it back. _“Zifeara, I'm so sorry that-”_

 

_“Shut up and calm down. I'm fine.”_ Yeah, there she was. That was about right. _“Listen for a hot second. Do not involve the rest of the RFA in this right now. You can tell them later, I don't want them to lose their shit. Please for the love of your God, let Mal do Mal things. Stay. There. Do what I tell you for once in your life. I'm alive, I'm not hurt, chill. Be smart. Smart and_ ** _helpful_** **_to Malaya_** _. I’ll see you soon, Sae. For fuck’s sake, give poor Fang the phone, he started up in Japanese so he’s losing it.”_

 

Tossing the phone back to the tall one, Saeyoung immediately rushed over to where Malaya was. They had things to do. And if he was lucky, she wouldn't point out the universe’s great timing.

 

Malaya spared him a glance before nearly running him over to get to a box. “She told you you can't come didn't she?”

 

_“Even if she did, that wouldn't stop me. What's the plan?”_

 

“Good, I would be annoyed if you did stay back. Basically it depends on who gets here first. Ideally blow a hole in the wall, get everyone over there, then we go in the back.” She started digging in the box.

 

_“And the other option?”_

 

“Blow a hole in the wall and shoot everyone that gets in my way.” She suddenly found a handgun.

 

Before Saeyoung could side with either option, Kai leaned his elbows on the mess of red hair, sleep deprived eyes with a newfound maniacal glint to them. _“I like that second plan. When can we start?”_

 

***

 

Maybe this was what it felt like to have things go your way. For once on the drive to town, Saeran didn't scowl at pretty much everything he passed. The outside world didn't look horrendous today. It was just the right amount of sunny, clouds dotted here and there. Today was just… nice. Nice temperature, nice breeze, nice drive, nice… feeling he was having. Arriving in the town seemed to take far less time. It didn't, but it felt like it. Pulling Zifeara’s list from his pocket, he mentally mapped out which stores to go to and in what order would be the most efficient. He was just so good today. Maybe he had really gotten here ahead of schedule.

Saeran reached into the pocket of his backpack specifically for his phone, intending to see how long it had actually taken to get to town and how long he had to get Zifeara’s things. The Velcro of the pocket was undone. Had he not put it down? Shit, did his phone fall out on the drive? Relieved when his fingers hit screen, he slid the device out and held it in front of his face. Today had been nice. Now as the iron ball of dread formed in his stomach, everything was bad. Staring at the yPod in his hand, Saeran didn't even know how to prepare for what was about to happen. Mint Eye was probably about to get some visitors.

 

***

 

Pacing around seemed to be the only thing to do at this point. Zifeara was too hyped up to draw, too nervous to just chill out, too… ready to get the Hell out of here. Luck had held. It had been almost 4 hours and Saeran wasn't back. Maybe he'd go the whole trip without his phone. Maybe they could bust out of here and kidnap _him_ for a change when he got back. Maybe she was a goddamn fairy ballerina. As it would happen, that was all luck would provide her with today. The sound of the door unlocking rang out. It was go time.

Zifeara stood by the bed, tensed and ready to fight if he was too mad with her. It was about as bad as she had thought. Saeran stepped into the room with clear intent to yell. He strode right over to where she was and grabbed her shoulders, putting their noses so close to touching.

 

_“What. Did. You. Do.”_

 

“What you wouldn't.”

 

That was really not the answer he wanted.

 

_“Where the_ **_fuck_ ** _is my phone, Zifeara?”_

 

She had left it on, just in case her Family needed it, but she'd hidden it in the bathroom for if he came back in before she had expected. She refused to answer him. All he did was push her over onto the bed, proceeding to tear everything in the room apart, looking for his missing phone. His outburst lasted maybe only ten minutes before he'd run out of places to look. He never thought to check the dry ledge in the toilet tank. He turned on her again, looming as menacingly as he could over her frame on the bed.

 

_“You have till I count to three to tell me what you did with it. One.”_

 

“Or what?”

 

_“Two.”_

 

“Saeran, I'm not a child, that doesn't work.”

 

_“Thr-”_

 

Someone knocked on their door. No one had ever knocked on their door before. Zifeara was hopeful it was a good sign, but to be fair, there was no way Malaya would knock under the circumstances. Saeran didn't immediately look to the door, opting to glare a warning that this wasn't over. When he got up and opened the door, there was a man in a dark robe there, sent to inform him the Savior would see them now. Both of them. Oh great. Zifeara had hoped they might be able to skip this.

Saeran told the man they'd be there shortly and he left, probably to go wait for whatever ceremony was supposed to take place. Saeran put his head in his hands and inhaled deeply, pulling his hair as he exhaled. Once he turned back around, he looked more tired than anything.

 

_“Let's go. I have to warn the Savior of what you've done. Just… Why did you have to…”_

 

“Because I promised to keep you safe, Saeran. I failed at that once and I won't fail again.”

 

She was full of answers he didn't want today. He simply shook his head and held his hand out for her to take, eyes fixated on the floor as they made their way down the corridor. Usually for food they turned left, but this time they turned right like they were about to do laundry. Zifeara always wondered what was down past the laundry room, but now she was sorry she'd get to find out. By the look of it, it was just more rooms, likely where all the other nutjobs in this place lived. It was only once they stopped at two large, wooden doors that she really started to feel nervous. The vibe from the other side of those doors was unsettling and this was probably the hardest thing she'd have to do since she got here. She was a master of deceit. She could do this. Her Family was almost here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you guys, buckle up. Chapter 10 is THE chapter. The Sun Underground is ready to throw down and no one at Mint Eye is ready for what they've got coming.
> 
> Thwippersnapple's fanart game is strong <3
> 
>   
> 


	10. Hell In the Cell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mint Eye is under siege and its ruler's reign is coming to an end. Who makes it out alive and who burns down with the kingdom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a whopping FOUR songs for this chapter, one of which is for the overall mood of the chapter: [Your World Will Fail](https://youtu.be/KQOJ8n76sys) by Les Friction
> 
> Quick warning: There are a few instances of graphic violence once the fighting breaks out, so proceed with caution~

The wooden doors swung open, pulled by two disciples from the inside revealing a massive chapel. The room was well lit by a large chandelier on the ceiling, though there were an awful lot of candles scattered around. Yeah, that _totally_ helped make it look like less of a cult. The two men who had opened the doors closed them once Saeran and Zifeara entered and made their way to stand on either side of what looked to be an altar. Saeran led her to be just a few feet away from the slab, pushing down on her shoulder as an indication to kneel, which she followed. If she played along, it would buy her more time. He tilted her chin down so that she was looking at the floor before hurriedly having a conversation with the disciple on the left. Whatever they were saying looked like it was not going the way Saeran wanted it to. He gave up, taking his place next to her on the floor. He spoke in a barely audible whisper.

 

_“The Savior is coming. I don't care how mad I am right now, behave. You said you would.”_

 

“If I must, I will.”

 

The glare he was giving her would have been threatening were it under less favorable circumstances for her. The door behind the altar opened and soft footsteps echoed throughout the chamber. Zifeara thought they sounded small, likely smaller than her. She liked those odds. It was a female voice that came from the newcomer.

 

_“Rise.”_

 

Rise they did, only now looking up from the floor and to whoever was addressing them. Zifeara felt like she had just been hit by a truck, air vacating her lungs so fast she audibly responded. Saeran glanced at her in concern, but only as much as he could do without turning his head. His eyes widened, but not as much as hers did. This had to be a nightmare. Zifeara knew their ‘Savior’.

 

“R… Rika...?”

 

The blonde narrowed her eyes as the two disciples either side of her murmured, adopting stiffer postures. Zifeara could practically feel Saeran sweat; he had forgotten how well acquainted the two were and hadn't thought to warn her to expect _this_ per se. He took a single step forward, trying to help at least.

 

_“My Savior, do forgive-”_

 

 _“Silence.”_ Rika’s sharp tone made him flinch and almost visibly shrink. He shrank in front of her though. He was trying to make Zifeara a wall. It wasn't working.

 

Rika stepped forward around her alter, green eyes laser focused on Zifeara, examining her. She could see the moment it clicked. Rika remembered her. _“I knew I recognized that name from somewhere. Zifeara_ **_Nightshade_ ** _. You're Hemlock’s girl. How is she?”_

 

“Dead.” Zifeara had long ago perfected the art of deadpanning. She was not playing Rika’s game. She could feel every scrap of anger she could muster sewing themselves together to form a terrifying shroud. Rika had done this to Saeran. She put him through a Hell worse than the one he'd come from. She was where he had gotten the countless scars on his back. She brainwashed him to be the way he was. She was supposed to protect him. She lied.

 

_“Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. In that case, you know why you're here. I can see that Saeran has failed.”_

 

“So have you. What happened to taking him to a better place? Inducting him into a _cult_ is what you-”

 

Saeran grabbed her wrist, trying to push her further behind him. Rika was inches from the Choi, smile unfaltering but malice in her gaze. He met her stare this time. _“Savior, please, don't waste your time with her, it's me you're angry with. I tried to initiate her, but the pills never worked. I-I did as you said, but she never changed. She still does her job and follows all her rules and-”_

 

 _“Saeran.”_ She cut him off and her smile finally dropped. Now there was only disdain. _“I'm disappointed in you. This should have been so easy and you couldn't do it. I knew I shouldn't have let you continue with her after I saw you last. You've been swayed by familiarity and..._ **_outward appearance_ ** _. She's corrupted you; made you useless and weak, just like you were when I first took you in. You both need reconditioning.”_

 

To say Zifeara wasn't happy was an understatement. The contempt in her tone was so thick it all but oozed from her mouth. She almost knocked Saeran over trying to get around him.

 

“What the fuck did you just say about Saeran you harlot!?”

 

Rika glared, losing any pretense of pleasantness. _“I believe if anyone here is a harlot, that would be you. You were so graciously accepted into my home and you repay that kindness by ruining my best disciple. Saeran has always been weak and you took advantage of that fact. You made him remember you.”_ She placed herself barely inches in front of Saeran’s face before speaking again. _“I will conduct Zifeara’s reconditioning myself, I think. I believe I may be able to get through to her far more successfully. Take them to the respective rooms.”_

 

The two men either side the altar began to move towards them. Saeran still stood in front of her, white as a sheet, making her back away from the men and moving them into a corner of the room. Rika stayed to watch, sneering at the way Saeran was trying to shield her from what was happening.

Zifeara had had damn well enough of this. She snapped. Dipping and moving under the arm he had defensively in front of her, Zifeara drew the large knife Saeran always had strapped to his boot and held it so the blade ran parallel to her arm. She was done biding her time. Now she was beyond pissed.

 

“You touch him and I kill you. I'm _done_ with this bullshit.”

 

Before the men in hoods could laugh as it looked like they were about to, one of the main doors to the chapel opened and another figure entered. This one looked all too familiar.

 

“Son of a _bitch_ , I should have known! You’ve been helping her this whole time!”

 

V turned towards the sound of her voice, eyes unfocused and pale. _“Zifeara? Zifeara, it is you! Rika, please, don't keep her in this, the RFA has been looking for her for a month now. Enough is enough.”_

 

Rika simply shook her head. _“Don't you see? It's never enough. As long as there are those who suffer and grieve and long for a purpose… my work will never end. Zifeara has a great mind and will be a magnificent asset to Mint Eye. And once I fix Saeran, he won't even remember his real name much the less her. He'll be my perfect soldier again. Get them.”_

 

The man closest to the two in the corner moved in, intending to quickly take them both. [Zifeara caught his movement](https://youtu.be/jsoA3HzRNaI), ducking ahead of Saeran and towards the disciple, using the man’s own momentum to spin him as she flipped the blade and ran it across his throat. Now that he was facing away from her, she pushed him forward and toward his friend. The disciple began to gasp and choke, now no longer inhaling air, only his own blood. Rika’s eyes widened in horror, clearly not expecting the other woman’s threats to be legitimate. Zifeara had officially lost it, a lit of madness creeping into her tone.

 

“Come on then~! Come and get him. See if you can take _my_ boy from me. The twins were never yours you saccharine strumpet; they were mine long before they even met you. So do it. Try to take him from me again you _insipid whore,_ I _dare_ you! Make my _fucking day_!”

 

V couldn't see, but he could _feel_ the instability in both the youngest Choi and his protector. The other disciple backed away, running through the doors and out to get help. Zifeara would take on as many of them as she needed to. She was protecting Saeran this time or she would die trying.

Rika started to say something else, but the explosion that rattled the building kept her from doing so. The only thing she heard after that was Zifeara's laughter, deep and demented. The cult leader looked to her, confusion destroying any sane facade she had left.

 

“Scared? You should be.”

 

The blonde could only slowly shake her head. _“Wh-what…?”_

 

Zifeara's grin just widened. There were no warnings given for the Armageddon descending upon this place today; the name of the demon she uttered was one not found in books Rika was used to reading.

 

“Malaya.”

 

***

 

The car ride up the mountain was the worst that anyone had ever had. The tension and willingness to kick someone’s ass was so tangible it was suffocating. The van realistically was pretty spacious, considering it doubled as the transport for an array of goods, but everyone felt like sardines.

 

“Alright, we get there and _no one goes in yet!”_ She pointed at Saeyoung and Fang. “We have no idea what’s there.”

 

 _“Yes, Mal, we’ve all done a siege before. Continue.”_ Fang was ever a ray of sunshine. Now that they were actually going to _get_ Zifeara, he was itching to use his favorite pistols. It had been too long.

 

Saeyoung just sort of looked at him and shook his head, returning his gaze to Mal and raising his hand. _“Okay, yeah, no. I don’t do bust in guns blazing, I do hacking. Sometimes risky sneaking. We get there and don’t go in, then what please?”_

 

“Normally we get there, find all the exits and split up to kinda squish the bad guys inside. In this case we need to get them out of the way to find Zifeara. So Fang and I are going to draw them out the front then you and Fell are each going to pick a different side and search. Dom and Lily are going to make sure no one gets away that we don’t want. Don’t get shot.”

 

Fang was sitting with his arms crossed, really just listening to be polite. _“Yeah, Choi, don’t get shot. The second we get in there, you aren’t my problem anymore. Mal’s too short to be in my way, but I’m not used to you.”_

 

At this point, Saeyoung was pretty accustomed to not being Fang’s favorite person and shut up. They’d find Zifeara soon and then he didn’t really care. Instead, he just made sure for the millionth time his gear was all in order so he could hack the keypad to a door in record time.

 

“Stop being obnoxious you two.” Saeyoung threw his hands up and Mal ignored him. “How much farther Dom?”

 

_“About twenty minutes.”_

 

“Cool.” She ran her hands over the hilts of her two favorite knives. “Time to rescue the Dragon.”

 

Everyone held onto their gear ready to get going. The second the van stopped, you’d think a SWAT team was in there. Everyone had a place and wasted no time getting to it and getting in the spirit of things.

 

As Fell sprinted around the side of the building and her snipers disappeared to find suitable hiding places, Malaya held up a bag full of C4. “Would you like the honors Fang?”

 

 _“You fucking bet I would.”_ Snatching the bag, Fang arranged most of it on their targeted door in what could only be described as a smiley face. It was the happiest he’d been in weeks. He got to shoot someone today.

 

Malaya took a few steps back, drawing her knives. Knowing Kumo, the C4 might be a little...extra. “Go for it.”

 

The giant grin on Fang’s face as he slammed the button on the detonator was nothing short of giddy. All he had to do was wait for Malaya to get in the door and it was open season on the assholes that took his sister.

 

Malaya didn’t even wait for the dust to clear before she ran in, flying over the rubble. There were a handful of people in the main hall, coughing up dust and generally panicking. She skirted them unseen and positioned herself just off to the side of what could’ve been a lobby for all Malaya cared. All she saw was plenty of cover and plenty of places to ambush people from. She knew the dust from the explosion had cleared when Fang’s guns rang out, taking out the stunned cultists she’d left for him. He complained too much when she didn’t let him have any fun. Now it was just a waiting game and she was deceptively patient when she wanted to be.

The only door in the back of the room opened with a bang. The first cultists to charge in blind were immediately taken out by Fang. One, two, three, four. The next batch was marginally smarter, diving for cover and trying to figure out how to handle the situation. Malaya waited a second for the entire group to get in then moved. She darted out into the hallway they’d come from then turned and watched the chaos. Fang was going to town and the worst thing they did was attempt to throw a rock at him. Shrugging she closed and locked the hall door behind her, trapping them in with Fang. They clearly didn’t know what they were doing, he’d be fine.

 

“Marco!” Malaya laughed and wandered down the hall, banging on every door she found. Finally one opened and she had the unprepared cultist on the floor in a second, one knife at his throat and one on his groin.

 

“So. You’ve got a few seconds to tell me where you’re keeping my friend. Slender, black hair, purple eyes? Yes? No?”

 

The man squirmed, managing to rasp out a reply past the blade at his neck. _“S-Saeran’s assistant? She was brought in a-about a month ago. He treated her differently, I-I think she looked like that.”_

 

Saeran? That sounded familiar. “Good start.” She wiggled the lower knife a bit. He squeaked. “Where?”

 

_“She has her evaluation today! Th-the grand hall on the other side of the building. Probably there if they haven’t moved already.”_

 

“Thank you-”

 

Before she could even finish her sentence, half the man’s brain burst through the other side of his head. Looking down the hall to where the shot came from, Mal was unsurprised to see that Fang had caught up with a trail of corpses in his wake.

 

“Hey! That one was mine. I wasn’t done with him.” Malaya pouted up at Fang. Now she had to find Zifeara’s white-haired plus one the hard way.

 

 _“Oops my finger slipped. Where is she.”_ Fang’s finger never slipped. He was just grouchy. Malaya rolled her eyes and got up, starting down the hall again.

 

“Grand hall, opposite end of the building. Apparently she has to pass a test.”

 

 _“Hahahahahaha. Yeah, cause that’ll go well. Can’t wait to see the look on her teacher’s face this time. C’mon, move your tiny ass or I’m going without you.”_ While that may have been the first time Fang had laughed in a month, it sounded no more joyful than he’d been. It was 100% cynicism. Malaya flipped him off and ran.

 

His sister had been kidnapped, he hadn’t slept in a month, he barely ate, his dog was concerned, and some absolute _shit_ of a human being thought they would throw a rock at him. This was it. If anything was the tipping point, it was this one tiny stone. He was done. Those first four people he had shot to get them out of the way, but as he watched Malaya skip off down a hallway and close the keycard locked door behind her, he smiled. These fuckers were trapped in here. With him. And he had to find a new way out. Which certainly wasn’t going to happen by asking. Moving towards the now locked door, Fang could easily shoot the remaining cultist behind the rubble they taken cover in. He did so with gusto, reaching into the small bag he had slung over his shoulder afterwards. Someone had the great idea of leaving him with _all_ the explosives. Which explains why Mal locked him in. Attaching a small packet labeled “C1’ near the door handle, he took about 6 steps back and to the side before blowing it. Rushing through the new new door, he shot literally every single human being he ran into, either at close range or the second he saw them down the hallway. Speaking of down the hallway, his _other_ sister was threatening a cultist in a not very nice way about where to find their missing family member. Too bad it looked like he was done talking. Add another to the list of people he didn’t have a use for anymore. Today, that list was getting burned till he had Zifeara firmly in his arms and safe.

 

Saeyoung had his door open in less than a minute. The keypads on these things sucked, but he was pretty happy for the lack of challenge for once. Making his way inside, he pulled his gun from his belt and hid just in the short hallway to the door. He had to wait till he heard the explosion and then hope no one saw him here and would run right by. Luckily, as soon as the building shook with the sheer force of the doors being blow back, probably with a sizable chunk of wall, that seemed to be exactly what happened. As soon as what appeared to be a majority of the people that were coming passed him, the gunshots rang out from the other side of the hallway. This was going to be as good as it would get. He quickly ducked around the corner, making sure he wasn’t running into someone new and started scanning as much of this place as he could for anywhere he could get in and start looking for his missing girl. She had to be here somewhere and he _really_ wanted to be the one to find her.

Door after door after door proved locked someway or another and he didn’t have time to unlock every door with a keypad. The hallway he’d found himself in wasn’t super long, so before too much time he came upon the only set of double doors he’d seen. He was about to break for them, but spotted a few cultists making a beeline for them and stayed still. Surprisingly, the commotion out here didn’t seem to be what kept them from noticing him. They were Hellbent on getting in that room and he gave it a cautionary moment to see why. It didn’t take very long for the puddle of blood to seep under the doors. That was well worth checking out. If he knew anything about Zifeara, that could easily be her if she found something to defend herself with.

Approaching the doors, Saeyoung pushed one open slightly before slowly moving in. He had opened the door on the right, so it obscured that side of the room for him, but at that particular moment, he didn’t care. He had found her. And she was covered in blood. His eyes welled with tears as she turned to him, clearly expecting another Mint Eye member, but all he was doing was scanning every inch of her body, praying all that blood came from her giving these freaks what they deserved. Happy to see this was very likely, Saeyoung smiled genuinely for the first time in a month.

 

_“Saeyoung?”_

 

She didn’t sound or look as happy to see him as he would have liked, but he had kind of expected that since she told him not to come. But how could he not have? He had missed her every second of the time that she was gone. He had been looking forward to seeing her again from the moment she joined the RFA. She had been the love of his life almost his _whole_ life and now she was right there. He took a step forward. “Zifeara! Thank god you’re still safe!”

 

He lost all sense of worry and ran towards her, ready to rush back to the door he came in from and get her out of here so he could spend the next forever making this up to her. Hopefully with cuddles and kisses. He wasn’t expecting the next thing she said.

 

_“Saeyoung, no- get out! Don’t-!”_

 

He was halfway to Zifeara when something hit him from the side. Hard. Whatever it was actually felt a little smaller than him, but it was definitely a person based on the guttural yell emanating from it. For the second time in a month, Saeyoung’s head connected with a wall of some sort and someone had a good hold on his jacket. Bringing his eyes up from the floor where they had been on impact, he met the most pleasing shade of mint green he’d ever seen. On the last person he would have ever expected. _“This is_ **_your_ ** _fault! You ruin_ **_everything_ ** _you fucking coward! Are you happy now?! Are you?”_

 

“Sae-Saeran? What.. how… Saeran, what happened to you? No, you- you can’t be here! Rika said that she…

 

A loud thud near his head made him glance sideways to see the knife Zifeara had been holding a moment ago, gently rocking back and forth from the impact of colliding with the wall. Unfortunately though it was probably meant to distract Saeran, that just let his brother get a good grip on the gun he had been holding. Saeyoung struggled to keep it away from his clearly unstable twin, but as it turns out, psychosis is one Hell of a motivator. He pushed off the wall for leverage, but Saeran turned them both around and shoved him back, back towards Zifeara and pointed his gun at them, insanity in his once gold eyes. This could go very… very badly. At least he was still in front of Zifeara. If anyone was going to get shot, it wouldn’t be her.

 

***

 

Pretty much as soon as the explosion stopped, there was gunfire. It was faint, so far away, but this was it. They were getting out of here and it filled her with a fire she hadn't had in quite a while. Half a dozen more disciples came bursting into the room, one of which was the same one that had gone to get reinforcements. If she did this right, Zifeara could take all of them without them getting anywhere near Saeran. Before she could do anything, Rika seemed to somewhat regain herself.

 

_“You all, get- get Saeran and come with me, we need to evacuate. Magenta is not safe for us any longer. Kill the girl if you need to, but be quick.”_

 

Kill the girl _her Highlander_ **_ass_ **. Behind Zifeara, Saeran whimpered at hearing his own name from Rika’s mouth, but he didn’t move. The blonde cast a glance his way and extended a hand, clearly intent on giving him one last chance to be loyal. Zifeara wasn’t going to let him give that chance to her.

 

“Saeran, stay there. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, especially not her. I meant what I said and I am not leaving you. _Stay_ . _There_.”

 

She swore he said her name, but he was terrified so his words came out unsteady and quiet. Saeran was bordering on another attack, which thankfully meant he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. That at least left her only 7 things to worry about. Zifeara darted forward, plunging the knife into what would be the closest disciple’s kidney, quickly turning to take out the next. It didn’t take long to provide fatal injuries to each of the minions of Mint Eye while flipping and ducking to evade their clumsy attempts to subdue her. She’d be lying if she claimed to do only what was necessary to keep them away from Saeran; Zifeara definitely found a little too much satisfaction in eviscerating a few of the people responsible for the ongoing Hell her boy endured. There was no way any of these men would be able to recover from anything she was doing to them.

While she was busy however, V had started moving towards Rika, trying to coax her to go, but the woman was frozen to the spot. She was unused to seeing other human beings ripped to pieces or spewing internal organs and the more her disciples fell in front of her, the more unstable she was becoming. Her perfect world was falling apart and she wasn't taking it well.

Once Zifeara felled the last disciple, she turned her gaze to the two people she thought she trusted. She was heavily debating whether or not it was really worth letting them remain alive at all. She hated them. They had _both_ hurt her twins. Her clothes already had blood on them, what was a little more? _They deserved worse than she could do to them right now_. Flipping her borrowed knife over and calculating the easiest way to kill them both quickly so she could get Saeran out of here, she heard the main door open again. She turned, ready to dispatch some other Mint Eye drone, but the man in the doorway was not who she thought they’d be.

 

“Saeyoung?”

 

His eyes teared up and he took a hesitant step forward, probably trying to determine if the blood she was covered in was hers. Once he saw the knife and knew it wasn’t, he lost it. _“Zifeara! Thank god you’re still safe!”_

 

Saeyoung was holding a pistol, most likely for self defense in here in case things got ugly and he almost dropped it. He hadn’t noticed anyone else in the room yet; he was just too focused on her. This was very bad. The older Choi rushed towards her, clearly intent on getting her the Hell out of here. He didn’t notice the figure in the corner rising from the floor. Zifeara definitely did.

 

“Saeyoung, no- get out! Don’t-!”

 

She wasn’t fast enough. She had tried to rush back towards the corner, try to put herself in between the twins, but that was the fastest she had ever seen Saeran move. He practically roared as he slammed into his brother, not stopping until he hit the far wall. He held Saeyoung by his jacket, eyes ablaze and practically foaming at the mouth. _“This is_ **_your_ ** _fault! You ruin_ **_everything_ ** _you fucking coward! Are you happy now?! Are you?”_

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Zifeara was aware that V was still trying to move Rika, but now the other woman was starting a strange mixture of laughing and crying; almost keening. Zifeara heard Saeyoung start to lose any composure he had left, attempting to figure out what Saeran was talking about and how he was even here. She heard the gunfire growing louder. The twins were the most pressing issue right now. Growling, she threw the knife at the wall, somewhere close enough to her twins to grab it again if she needed to, the noise not distracting Saeran from the tussle now occurring like she had hoped as Saeyoung tried to move.

 

Once she got close enough, she figured out pretty quickly what the problem was. Saeyoung pushed off the wall, spinning the pair around, but stumbled backwards. Saeran had gotten his gun. And he was crumbling. _“Hahaha, who’s weak now, brother? I’m going to_ **_fucking_ ** _end you and then everything will stop. I can be happy. I can just… be… happy.”_

 

This was quite enough. Zifeara was at least faster than Saeran was at committing to something. She moved herself in front of Saeyoung, covering most of his body unless the younger twin was a crack shot.

 

“Saeran Choi, you are not hurting your brother. If you want to try, fine, but that bullet will slow down enough through me that it’ll barely scratch him. Don’t _do_ this, we’re so close to getting out of here and-”

 

 _“You’re close to getting out of here! I can’t go out. I belong here. If this place goes then I’m done. Once again, Saeyoung gets whatever he wants and I’m left here to_ **_die_ ** _! He’ll take you and you’ll go home and be_ **_happy_ ** _. If I can’t be happy, then neither can he!”_

 

Saeran hadn’t moved the gun. It was pointed directly at Zifeara’s chest and his hand was shaking. He had his finger right on the trigger and this was probably the closest she’d ever been to being shot. There were tears streaming down his face and he looked as though he might take the risk of trying to get around her just for this one act of revenge.

 

“Saeran, honey, we aren’t leaving you here.” She started slowly walking towards him, hands held unthreateningly but in perfect position to snatch the gun from him the second he gave her the chance. “You’re coming with me just like I said you would. I promised, Saeran.”

 

 _“And he promised to come back! He never came back! He left me! You all leave me!”_ Saeran wasn’t moving an inch. Rika was more on the crying side of keening. V had progressed from calming murmurs to soft urging.

 

“I never break my promises, you know that. I never left you, Saeran, you left me. You both did. I’m trying my best to fix things, but I need your help to do that.”

 

That seemed to at least get him to lower it a little. This was definitely working. _“N-need me?”_

 

“Yes, Saeran. I need you to be good for just a little longer. I want you to give me that gun. That would make me happy.”

 

_“Mmm-mm- happy? I want t-t-to be happy. S-Sae-Saeyoung is bad. Was- was bad. Is bad. Sh-shou-should be dead. Ma-make me happy.”_

 

He was getting worse. She need to get that gun from him fast or he would absolutely end up shooting her. At least Saeyoung was mercifully quiet. Rika was getting louder. There was a second, smaller explosion.

 

“I want to be happy too, Saeran. Didn't you say you wanted to make me happy? If you hurt Saeyoung, that’ll make me sad and I’ll be very angry at you. I’m not going to let him hurt you either. I need to protect you, just like I need you to help me fix things. I need you to hand me that. Please? Let's go _home_ Saeran; with the kitchen and the yard- remember?” She lowered her voice to a murmur. “ _Please_?”

 

She was so close to him that the muzzle of the gun was almost touching her chest. If it looked like he wasn’t going to give her the gun in the next 10 seconds, she was going to take it by force and risk a bullet. She had to keep the twins from getting hurt, even at her own expense. She promised.

 

He was tilting his head as he always did, but there wasn’t just curiosity behind it this time; there was madness and heartbreak, confusion and distrust. His eyes couldn't have been locked onto hers any more surely if he were a robot. The tears hadn’t stopped and his voice was a barely perceptible whisper. _“W-why… why did you kiss me like that?”_

 

Shit. Zifeara rushed forward, causing Saeran to shrink back, meaning the gun was now trapped between her ribs and elbow. Her other hand was preoccupied with his, keeping him from trying to get the weapon back. Rika was in hysterics. Saeyoung was trying to say something she couldn’t hear. Saeran was struggling, trying so hard to aim at his brother, but she had turned him to what she thought far enough away and wasn’t letting him move so much as a centimeter back. He was screaming. _“I kn-new it, you don’t c-c-care about me! Only_ **_him_ ** _! A-always_ **_him_ ** _!”_

 

She had her head buried in Saeran’s shoulder, needing to use all her weight to keep him pinned. It served the additional purpose of stopping her from meeting Saeran’s eyes again; she did that and she was going to lose it. There was no going back. She had gotten herself in deep shit. She couldn’t tell if she had knocked his finger off the trigger or not, but she couldn’t take the chance. Her voice was low and right in his ear as he continued to push back. “Saeran, I swear I wanted-”

 

The gunshot was loud and the heat of the metal barrel burned right through Zifeara’s shirt. She cried out from the searing pain, making Saeran drop the pistol in a heartbeat. He was convinced he’d shot her. For the first time, everyone was quiet. The din from outside was getting louder. Once Zifeara opened her eyes again and pulled a bit away, she was met with the same minty green she’d been staring at for the past month. Saeran was done fighting. His hands moved slowly, then rapidly, shifting her arm and grazing her side where her bullet wound should be. _“N-no... God, no, no, no, nononononono! I-I-I-I- di-didn’t mean it, Zif-Zifeara, god, I’m sorry! So-so -sorry, sorry, bad, sorry!”_

 

Grabbing the hand that kept brushing over her new painful burn, she brought it to her face. “Saeran, stop, you didn’t shoot _me_. You shot-” Behind her. Saeyoung was behind her. She whipped around, eyes panicked to stare at the other Choi. Whose eyes were as wide as hers.

 

He looked down, searching for the bullet hole somewhere in his torso. He found no such thing. He looked back to Zifeara who was practically holding Saeran since he wouldn’t stop apologizing and could barely support his own weight now that he was convinced he had fatally wounded her. The gunshots from their rescuers were so close, the gang would be in here any minute now. Everyone was quiet.

 

Everyone except for V. _“R...Rika? Rika!”_

 

Zifeara and Saeyoung looked to where the two founders of the RFA had been this whole time, watching as both slumped to the floor. _“V?”_

 

A large pool of red was slowly but surely spreading itself across the bright fabric of Rika’s white robes. V may be almost blind, but he could certainly see that. He pressed his hands over the spot, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. _“Rika, Rika, no, please. Stay with me, look at me.”_

 

Saeyoung moved to Zifeara’s side, doing what was probably the only smart thing of the day. He straight up knocked his brother out. At first she was going to be mad, but under the circumstances, she was pretty sure this was better for the younger twin’s sanity. As soon as she had handed Saeyoung his brother, the double doors to the room slammed all the way open and surely the happiest sight she’d ever seen came charging through the door. Her brother was here. Followed very closely by her sister.

 

“Kai!”

 

As Fang turned to face her, he very nearly shot V, which Zifeara just barely, albeit halfheartedly prevented. Good news was, with her hands free, she could just straight up flying tackle Fang, which she enthusiastically did. She'd never heard a grown man of his size legitimately _whimper_ before, but honestly she couldn't blame him. Finally this was done. They were one ride away from home.

 

Malaya stalked protective circles around them, eyeing the rest of the room. _“I’m gonna bet sleepy over there is your plus one? Not many white haired people around.”_

 

“Yeah, Mal. Those are the Choi _twins_. We have everyone.”

 

 _“Good. Ah, I thought I recognized that name. You alright Sparky?”_ She wandered over and hovered nearby.

 

The hold he currently had on his brother suggested otherwise. It was going to be a fight to let the doctors at the hospital they were surely headed for do anything with Saeran, Zifeara could just feel it. This was why she had told him not to come and there would be a very stern talking to she was giving her rescuers when everything calmed down.

 

“Someone needs to call Jumin. We’re going to need a few doctors. Of multiple kinds. Let’s go, I’ll explain everything to you guys on the way out of here.”

 

Malaya nodded. _“Michael was going to give us a head start but he should have contacted Jaehee by now.”_

 

Zifeara turned to the other two people in the room, knowing there would be Hell to pay if they left V here.

 

“Have room for two more?”

 

Malaya shrugged. _“Place this big? Bound to be some sort of vehicle around. We’ll make room.”_

 

“There is. Saeran talked about a garage. He-”

 

Zifeara stopped. He had things he liked. That were his. That were coming with them.

 

“Okay, here. There are two master keycards to this entire building; Saeran has one and Rika has the other. You guys get Rika’s and find the cars, Kai, come with me, I’m taking Saeran’s and going back to our room. He has maybe three things he owns and the least I can do is grab them. And I want my tablet. Saeyoung, back right pocket of his jeans. Give it here.”

 

The other Choi found the card and handed it to her. It took Fang all of three seconds to become irate again. _“_ **_Wait._ ** _You knew where that fucking thing is and we had to blow a hole in this building to_ **_come get you_ ** _? What have you been doing for a_ **_month_ ** _while we were killing ourselves looking for you?!”_

 

Zifeara really wasn’t in the mood for this. It had been a long day and she just wanted a shower and some fucking chocolate.

 

“Listen you, I had no clue where I was. I got to go outside _once_ the entire time I was here and I saw a lot of wilderness. As it turns out, we are a two hour drive from the closest town. If you think I’m going to just walk out that door in the dead of night with a hope and a prayer, then you can go fuck yourself. I’m not that dumb. Why the Hell did it take you a _month_ to find me?”

 

Legitimately the only response he had to that was to point at Saeyoung, which made Zifeara roll her eyes and go to gather her things. This was going to be a long ride to civilization. And an even longer conversation about what had happened in the many years since she’d seen the twins. This was all about to be messy.

 

***

 

Half an hour. She’d been sitting in this exact same spot for half an hour, maybe a little longer since she shooed away the doctor who was doing more to treat the burn on her side than was really necessary. And she would continue sitting right here till one of three things happened; either this building was on fire, Saeyoung, Malaya, or Kai came to sit here so she could eat and go to the bathroom before coming back, or Saeran was waking up. As it turned out, the thing moving her off the bench was of the second variety. The older Choi rounded the corner.

Realistically, this was the first time she’d really seen him for more than the few minutes she was trying to stop his brother from shooting him. The drive down to the hospital was spent in two different vehicles; she, Fang, Lily, and Fell took one of Mint Eye’s cars to make room in the van for the new additions, namely Rika so she could be kept level on the floor so that she’d survive the drive. Fang hadn’t let go of Zifeara the entire way here, murmuring comforting words and crying while she settled down after everything that had happened. And frankly she had been content to stay wrapped in every inch of the protective blanket that was her brother. She’d missed her family.

Now as Saeyoung froze a few feet away from her in front of the window to his brother’s room, Zifeara felt almost… shy. They hadn’t seen each other in 7 years. They had become completely different people. They had lived different lives and experienced things the other could only speculate on. They both looked like they were going to cry.

They simultaneously rushed forward, crashing into each other in what had to be the most desperate hug either had ever been a recipient of. It really didn’t matter how long it had been; they both had missed each other terribly. Now that everything had come to a head, they really needed this contact to make sure they were okay. Both physically and as friends. It felt like forever before Zifeara let go, bringing herself to finally look Saeyoung in the eye. She was sorry she had. With her hands resting on his broad shoulders, she could tell how thin he was and could see exactly how worried he had been. It was too much.

 

“Saeyoung, I… I'm so sorry.”

 

_“What? Zifeara, you didn't get yourself kidnapped- just because you left the…”_

 

She was slowly shaking her head, making him stop talking. She was starting to shake everywhere.

 

“No, I'm sorry I let this happen to you two. When you told me you had a way to get you and Saeran out of your house, so did I. I-I could have taken you guys t-to Michael and he could have-have taken you in and trained you and you wuh-wouldn’t’ve had to go through any of thi-this and-”

 

Tears were spilling from her eyes at an alarming rate and she had balled her fists in his shirt. At first he looked shellshocked, but Saeyoung quickly recovered, pulling her into his chest and stroking the back of her head.

 

_“No, no, no, this is not your fault. This is only V and Rika’s fault. And even then, I should have trusted you more and told you what I was doing. You proved yourself a true friend and I never told you anything. It's more my fault than yours, you did nothing wrong.”_

 

Now Zifeara was crying earnestly, letting years of guilt and worry just flow out.

 

“No, it was me! M-m-me, I shoulda _done_ s-something, shouldn’ta let you by-by yourself and now you and-and Saeran are _fucked_ cause of meeee!”

 

_“Honey, you didn't do anything to make us this way, I did. There were other things I could have done to save us and I didn't. I waited for V to happen and called it good enough. Please don't cry like this, it isn't your fault, I promise!”_

 

Nothing he could do was working. Zifeara just continued to sob, but now she lightly pounded her first on his chest, still full of shirt, chanting ‘ _My fault_ ’ in between tears. All he could really do now was let her get it out, softly telling her it definitely wasn't anything she did to end everyone up here. After a while she calmed down, in perfect timing for the rest of the RFA to turn up. They had all been in the waiting area around the corner after he had asked for some time to see her by himself. He hadn't told them much of what happened yet.

 

Seeing pretty clearly the state Zifeara had just come out of, Yoosung was the first to introduce himself. He darted forward, said his name, and put his hand out with a megawatt smile, but when she shook it and returned the expression to her gaming friend, he wasted no time pulling her into a hug. _“It's really good to see you, Dragon. I was losing my mind with how worried about you I was and I'm so glad you're safe.”_

 

She tightly returned his embrace and lightly punched him on the shoulder before being handed to Zen who bowed and took her hand, introducing himself as he placed a soft kiss to it. _“We’re_ **_all_ ** _very glad to see you safe and sound. If you need anything at all, I'm your man. Feel free to ask without hesitation.”_

 

Zen winked at her which at least made her laugh a little and passed her to Jaehee. The older woman politely shook her hand and gave her name, seeming much less formal than Zifeara remembered. _“Yes, we are very thankful you're alright. And please, if you need a, well, more feminine mind to speak to, you are welcome to call me. I will be of whatever help I can.”_

 

And then it was just Jumin. When the businessman approached her, Zifeara tried to be proper and composed first.

 

“And you are of course Jumin Han. Zifeara Nightshade. I'm looking forward to working with you when everything settles down and we can return to RFA matters.”

 

She bowed and the look on Jumin’s face could only be surprise. _“How you can stay so professional at a time like this… You are truly the extraordinary woman I believed you to be. I too look forward to spending time with you… in matters concerning the RFA or otherwise. I also would like to extend my offer to be of any assistance to you, whatever it may be.”_

 

Zifeara couldn't believe her eyes when Jumin Han, man of stone mirrored Zen’s actions and raised her hand to his mouth, though his gesture was more a show of sincerity than chivalry. She was pretty sure either Jaehee or Zen was going to faint from whatever had gotten into Jumin, but that wasn't what brought the happy introduction to the RFA to a close.

The footsteps coming from the other end of the hallway caused Zifeara to turn. She could blame hypervigilance for that; the steps were so soft that no one else seemed to notice right away. They all looked at what had caught her eye and for once, they were all simultaneously speechless. The final member of the RFA was here and he looked awful. The first one to fully register V standing at most 20 feet away was [unfortunately Saeyoung.](https://youtu.be/b6CCcTClgYE)

 

 _“You… you bastard!”_ The redhead meant to charge forward and give the leader of the RFA a piece of his mind via his fists, but Jumin snapped out of his trance first at the venom in the hacker’s voice. Jumin held Saeyoung back before he could make much headway, but it didn't stop the redhead from his continued verbal assault. _“You did this to my brother! I trusted you and you just let-”_

 

No one knew Zifeara well enough to know it should be her they needed to worry about. No one caught the way her hands fisted and shook, nor the look of utter contempt in her eyes. When she ran towards V, there was no one fast enough to stop her. V had been openly crying, so had his face in his hands when Zifeara reached him. He looked up just in time to receive her punch at full force, the sickening crunch of bone echoing through the corridor. He lurched sideways, making it easy for her to slam him into the nearest wall, pinned to it by two hands with a deathgrip on the front of his shirt. The blood flowing down his face was turning said teal shirt a miserable shade of red.

 

“You absolute _cunt_ ! You were supposed to save the twins! Is your idea of saving them handing Saeyoung off to the nearest, most dangerous hacking agency you could find and leaving Saeran to your insane, _wretched slag_ of a girlfriend?!”

 

Zifeara shook him as she yelled while he did nothing to free himself. It was Zen who reached her first, pulling her off and away from the man now slumping on the wall for support. Zifeara was having none of it. Zen had gotten her a bit away, but wasn't expecting her to be pretty used to sparring someone about 6 inches taller than he was. She jumped up and took hold of Zen’s arms, using her downward momentum to leverage him and flip him over her shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes, landing him directly onto his back and effectively knocking the wind out of the actor. She rushed to V again, once more taking hold of his shirt and delivering another blow to his face, splattering the wall he was on with blood.

 

“You put Saeyoung somewhere he could have gotten killed and let Saeran get tortured for _years_ ! You _knew_ what she was doing to him and you just _let_ her! Does that sound like protecting them to you? She needed to be put in an insane asylum, not given an already abused, fragile teenager you repulsive prick! Rika brainwashed him, beat him, _broke_ him and you _just let her do it_!”

 

Jaehee was the one who took hold of her this time, mostly because Yoosung was frozen in his tracks. He'd definitely heard what Zifeara said over Saeyoung’s continued tirade from where he was still restrained. Zifeara couldn’t care less; all she wanted was to beat the rest of V’s face into his skull for everything that had happened, but the sound of something thudding against glass made her turn to look towards the only window inside this hallway. Saeran’s window. He was awake and pressed to the glass, fists raised to the pane and looking panicked. He had no clue what was going on, all he saw was her literally in the hands of the RFA, one of whom she'd flipped over her shoulder after grabbing her. She stopped struggling against the older woman keeping her from further hurting their leader.

 

“Jaehee, put me down, please. I'm not going to hit V again, stop. Jaehee, he thinks you're hurting me, put me down!”

 

The assistant spotted Saeran and heard the desperation in Zifeara’s voice, quickly setting her on the floor. Zifeara rushed to the window and placed her hands over where Saeran’s fists were, smiling reassuringly. He said something, scanning over her face, her arms, everywhere. She couldn't hear him. Meaning he couldn't hear any of what just happened. She had to get in there. Saeyoung had been released as well, coming to her side and very happy to see his brother. Who only glared in return.

 

“Sae, I have to get in there, he can't hear us. I need to tell him where he is and calm him down. He's gonna start losing it soon, I can feel it.”

 

The hacker looked to her, thinking of what to do and nodded. _“Jumin, it’s your doctor we’re seeing. Can we get Zifeara in to see Saeran right now?”_

 

The older man considered it a moment from where he was hovering over his bleeding friend. _“I'm not sure. That depends on if the doctor allows for a direct visit based on Saeran’s condition.”_

 

The pair returned their gaze to each other, not appearing pleased with that answer.

 

“Cram that. Saeyoung, open the door.”

 

He hadn't heard her say that in years and it made him smile. He pulled his phone out and moved to the card reader, typing before passing the phone over it and reading the screen. _“Get ready to go, you can't let him out.”_

 

Jumin opened his mouth but before he could say anything, the door clicked and Zifeara raced in, shutting it behind her as fast as she could without losing a finger. Saeran was on her instantly, slightly swaying as he tried to keep steady. _“What did you do? Where are we? Why the_ **_fuck_ ** _is the RFA here, did- did they hurt you?”_

 

“Saeran, shhhhh, it's okay, I'm fine. We’re in a hospital, hun. I needed to get treated for my burn, see?”

 

She raised her shirt to reveal the bandage covering the injury. His eyes darted from her wrapping to her face as confusion tinged his features. She let go of her shirt and gently placed her hands on his shoulders, supporting him as she carefully pushed him backwards towards his bed.

 

“You're safe here. I'm not leaving that bench out there for any longer than it takes to eat a meal and when I'm not watching over you, Saeyoung is. Everything is okay now, Saeran, it’s all over.”

 

His eyes watered and he reclenched his fists. He stopped just shy of the bed.

 

 _“Why? Why couldn't you just be happy?! I gave you whatever you wanted, I-I tried to_ **_be_ ** _who you wanted an-and-and you ruined the only thing I had! Why was what I had not enough for you?! I could have made you happy and you threw it all to the wolves the_ **_second_ ** _you had the chance! You ruined my life you fucking bitch! I never should have picked you! You ruined ev-every-thing!”_

 

It hurt. Everything he said had hurt and Zifeara could feel herself as close to crying and Saeran was. His tears spilled first, prompting hers to come directly after.

 

“Saeran, Rika was not your savior. She’s been drugging you for years, look at your chart. She lied to you and told you that Saeyoung did things he never had, told you you didn't know anyone else- Saeran she made you forget me. She beat you like your mother did when you didn't do what she wanted, she wasn’t-”

 

 _“Shut up!”_ He screamed at her, bringing his hands to his head and pulling at his hair. _“She made me worth something! Made me b-better than him! She was helping me to do something with my life, guiding me when I was lost, love me when I was sad…”_

 

Zifeara narrowed her eyes. Saeran better not be saying what she thought he was.

 

“Saeran, she lied to you. Lied to you and brainwashed you through drugs. You took pills in the morning like I did... didn't you?”

 

He nodded. _“They- they fixed me. Made me relax. Made me- made me happy…”_

 

“Hun, I never took the ones you handed me.”

 

He snapped his head up, clearly confused. That was impossible. She looked around and felt in her pockets before pulling out a small coin she'd gotten from a vending machine earlier, holding it between her fingers where Saeran could see it. She made the motion of putting it in her mouth, slipping it down her sleeve and swallowing. His eyes widened and she took one of his hands, making him feel the coin in her jacket. She moved her arm so that the coin fell out into his hand, which he stared at and then back to her in disbelief.

 

“I did this almost every morning. On the rare occasions I couldn't trick you, I threw them back up with breakfast in the bathroom. That's why I wasn't like the other cultists. The ones Rika was giving you have so many things in them that are awful for your mind that I can't say about a third of them. She was bad to you, Saeran.”

 

 _“S-so were you.”_ She knew exactly what he was referring to, but it wouldn't help him to explain how profoundly kissing him had affected her. She did it because he made her _feel something_ again, she cared about him and made him a promise, and that meant she had to get him the Hell out of a cult. Even if he couldn't be what she wanted, the twins were _hers_. Both of them.

 

“Saeran, I did what I did to get you out of a place whose leader used you like a slave, beat you worse than a dog, and lied to you constantly. If you can't trust me anymore, I understand. But let me prove how much I still trust you.”

 

Zifeara reached down, dipping her hand into one of her boots. Mal had brought her a few things. One of those included the smallest knife she owned. She took Saeran’s left hand, placing the blade in it and bringing it to the side of her throat the others couldn't see through the window. They had no clue how potentially close to death she was. She moved the knife to a very particular point in her own neck.

 

“If you push in right here and pull towards the window, there are a lot of very important things you'll cut through. Enough that by the time the RFA sees what you've done and call a doctor and get me rushed to surgery, it'll probably be too late. You're holding the power to kill me right here, right now. And I'm going to let you do it if you want. I trust you with my life, Saeran. Because you're _you_.”

 

He brought his other hand up, firmly holding the other side of her neck in a way that looked innocent enough if you couldn't feel it. _“You don't think I can, do you?”_ He pressed the knife hard enough into her skin that it drew blood. Zifeara winced at the sensation, but held firm.

 

“I know you can. You aren’t a bad person and I trust you not to.”

 

She closed her eyes and waited for him to either remember that he cared about her or do it. She knew how to buy herself a little time if he chose revenge over the affection for her he’d been exhibiting the past few weeks. She could feel his hand shaking. He was really thinking about doing it. He was mad and she understood; she had kissed him and couldn't tell him it might have been more than a diversion. She felt the pressure lessen on the knife. Then she heard it go clattering across the floor. Zifeara opened her eyes to find Saeran’s glaring directly into them, tears resuming their paths down his cheeks. _“I hate you. You make me feel things I don't like. Things that make me weak. Just like him.”_

 

“Nothing makes you weak but your own admission, Saeran. You are the only one who can determine your strength. They're coming in. Please try to understand, I did this because I care about you. You'll see, just give it time. The next few days will be Hell as you detox, but then it'll get better. I promise.”

 

The door opened again and Saeyoung rushed in, grabbing Zifeara’s knife from the floor. She and Saeran were still very close to each other, holding a contest of will that neither was willing to back down from. Saeyoung went to put himself between them, but she stopped him with a firm hand on his chest as soon as he got close enough. Zifeara broke eye contact first, taking a step out from under Saeran and turning around, pushing the other twin back towards the door as she moved. The second the door had shut, everyone launched into a volley of questions about what the Hell had just happened.

 

Behind them near the floor, a soft weeping was what caught Zifeara’s attention. It was V. _“Dead. She's dead. They co-couldn’t save her…”_

 

***

 

At first, the only thing he was aware of was being warm. Then it was that everything in his mind seemed to be shrouded in a fog. He had no idea where he was or why and his eyelids seemed too heavy to open. It was also absurdly quiet. Quiet enough that it felt wrong somehow. After a few attempts, Saeran did manage to open his eyes, taking in the very unfamiliar surroundings. He was in a white room with two windows in it; the one on his right seemed to be to the outside but it was really dark, the other was well lit and looked like it was in a hallway. Shit. He was in a hospital.

Saeran tried to sit up a little, his body still feeling like it weighed a ton. Now that he was propped up a bit further, he could see out the hallway window. He wasn’t sure if the first thing that caught his eye made him more happy or angry. Right there sitting on a bench across the hall from his window was Zifeara. She had her head down, eyes fixed to the floor in front of her and hands clasped together. She looked like she was thinking, but at the same time had a sadness in her gaze that was unusual to her neutral expression.

He stared, waiting as he became more and more alert. They had been at Mint Eye and his worst nightmares had come to fruition. The Savior was going to take Zifeara away from him since she very obviously wasn’t anywhere near a good disciple. She hadn’t behaved like she said she would since he had forgotten to mention that she knew who the Savior was. He had tried to protect Zifeara. He shouldn't have, but he had reverted to that shameful child pushing his brother away from the looming figure threatening him with the beating of his life. He had betrayed his Savior for the woman who ruined him. But then she had protected him. Zifeara killed seven people… Actually, killed wasn’t the right word for what she had done; Zifeara absolutely _slaughtered_ seven human beings. All because they were trying to get to him. _She stopped them from hurting him._ She promised she would and she did. She saved him from his Savior’s impending wrath. He didn't know what to do with this series of events. Just remembering what Zifeara had done for him was making him feel something he didn't have words for.

Something happened to Magenta… something bad. Something that had brought his brother there. The only thing worse than the Savior taking Zifeara was _Saeyoung_ taking Zifeara. He was pretty sure he had tried to stop that, really he was, but… he thought he had shot Zifeara, did she-? Looking at her right now, she seemed fine. Truth be told, that was really the last thing he could clearly recall. Everything had happened so fast… His head still hurt.

Zifeara looked up quickly, but not at him. She looked at something to her right, eyes wide and nervous. Saeran still couldn't move very well, couldn't sit up enough to see what had caught her attention or give any indication that he was conscious. Zifeara stood, turning towards whatever was just out of his sight and hesitated. He wanted to get up so badly. To see what had her so worried. He was sorry he had ever wanted to know.

She took two steps forward before her momentum was stopped by Saeyoung’s own, melding their bodies into one singular being. And there it was. This was the definitive end of his life as he knew it. He had gone against the Savior to such an extent that there was no way he was welcome in Mint Eye anymore, he had been captured and locked in a room he wouldn’t be able to escape easily by the looks of it, and now the singular object of his desire was nestled snugly in his brother’s arms. For only the millionth time in his life, Saeyoung had everything and he was left alone, stripped of every single thing that had any meaning to him. His home was gone, his job surely no longer existed because he had failed it, his family had turned against him, his _Savior_ despised him… and now the only person he had ever lo-... wanted had once again chosen the stronger twin. Just like everyone else.

Saeran let himself drop back onto the bed and shut his eyes, clenching his jaw to stop himself from loosing even a single tear over the situation he had known would come to pass should he fail. The only difference was that he should be dead by now. If couldn’t have what he wanted, he had at least wanted to end things in a blaze of glory he wouldn’t have to live to see the outcome of. He had been so close to doing what he needed to, but once again, Zifeara had prevented him from accomplishing a simple task. He had just needed to shoot his brother and then placait the Savior but no. Zifeara stopped him. And had lied to him; she didn’t kiss him because she wanted him, she only did it to escape. To get back to her life on the outside where she didn’t have to see him. To get back to Saeyoung so after all this time she could finally fuck him.

Cracking an eye open to see if the happy little reunion outside his window was done and everyone had left so that he could try to find something in here to do himself in with, he was unsurprised to find Zifeara wiping tears from her eyes as the entirety of the RFA rounded the corner. Great, now they were _all_ here. She was introduced to them one by one and he wanted to gag when the pretty boy kissed her hand. Even more so when _Jumin fucking Han_ did it too. They all were so sickenly nice. They were everything he wasn’t. It was only the motion from the other side of the hallway that snapped him out of his brooding.

 _Traitor_ . Good to see that at least Jihyun of all people was out and about. The man looked more like shit than ever before and Saeran could feel himself instinctively sneering. God how he hated that motherfucker. If only Zifeara had stabbed _him_. Speaking of… His eyes grew wide as the hallway erupted into activity; both Saeyoung and Zifeara ran at V, though Jumin was fast enough to catch the redhead. If anything, Saeran was at least glad he had been alive to see Zifeara break V’s nose. That was the only upside to his situation right now.

He felt his blood run cold as soon as Zen grabbed her. _No, no, no don’t touch her!_ He was trying to get out of bed before he even knew _why_ . He struggled to move, his limbs still not wanting to fully cooperate. His legs didn’t want to hold his weight and they burned as he forced them to function, holding on to the side of the bed to take some of the pressure off while they adjusted. _They’re going to hurt her. She touched their leader and they’re going to hurt her._ At Mint Eye, no one touched the Savior. No one but him and if he hurt them… His legs shook violently, but they were starting to hold. Zifeara flipped the actor over her before continuing her assault on the blind man. Jaehee was next to stop her and Saeran knew she was dangerous. _Move move move move you useless-!_

His legs weren’t ready to support his entire body, so slamming into the window was his only option. It got their attention at least, but he was starting to walk the irrational line between trying to keep his assistant safe and… the other thing he had been thinking too hard about. He didn’t… owe her anything, didn’t even _like_ her...

 

“Let her go you whore! Don’t touch her!”

 

There was something in his own voice that disgusted him. He sounded just as weak as he had for the past few days. It was no wonder he had failed Mint Eye. All eyes turned to him and Zifeara said something that made Jaehee set her back on the ground before rushing to his window, placing her hands over where his were on the other side. The smile she was giving him only confused him. She wasn’t happy to see him; she’d sold him out for his twin the second she had the chance, but something about her smile had dug deep roots into his emotions. Just like it had when he was a scared, worthless little boy.

She talked to Saeyoung a second before moving to the door. His door. She was coming in here. He stumbled toward her the instant she was in the room, looking her over for any signs the RFA had really hurt her in some way, unable to stop the storm forming in his mind.

 

“What did you do? Where are we? Why the _fuck_ is the RFA here, did- did they hurt you?”

 

_“Saeran, shhhhh, it's okay, I'm fine. We’re in a hospital, hun. I needed to get treated for my burn, see?”_

 

She raised her shirt up to show him the bandage covering where had thought the gunshot should be. She had said burn, had he not shot her at all? His eyes darted down then quickly back up as he realized he was centimeters from seeing her bra. She dropped her shirt and gently placed her hands on his shoulders, helping him keep stable as she carefully pushed him back further into the room.

[That storm was coming to a head.](https://youtu.be/m-Vb-LAT4MA) The thunder drown out his words even though he screamed at her, the hot flashes of lightning blinded him to what it was she was doing, and the rain wrung itself from his eyes, numbing him to his own actions. When he came to… there was a tiny rivulet of blood streaking its way down her neck, stemming from the edge of the goddamn _knife_ he was holding to her throat. He was unaware of how he had gotten this thing… but based on where he was digging it into Zifeara’s neck, this would kill her if he pushed just a little harder.

 

He should have wanted this- wanted more than anything in the world to end the life of the woman that ruined his.

_Eri il mio soldatino~_

She stood silently, eyes closed and putting her life in his hands like the dumbest animal in existence.

_Ora un principe oscuro~_

He was a wolf; a vicious killer with a thirst for blood that survived on the pain of others. He was a force to be reckoned with and she had done everything to earn his ire.

 _Ma anche per te,_ _c'è_ _una luce~_

His hand shook as her voice rang through his mind, overwriting everything he should have been… everything he was made to be. He hated her and wanted her out. She didn’t belong in here with him.

 _Che ad un_ _'_ _altra vita ti conduce~_

 

Saeran pulled the knife away, flinging it somewhere along the floor and Zifeara opened her bewitching eyes to meet his. He hated her eyes. Almost as much as he hated himself.

 

“I hate you. You make me feel things I don't like. Things that make me weak. Just like _him_.”

 

She placed her hands on his arms and he flinched slightly. He didn’t want her to touch him anymore. She’d already tainted him enough.

 

_“Nothing makes you weak but your own admission, Saeran. You are the only one who can determine your strength. They're coming in. Please try to understand, I did this because I care about you. You'll see, just give it time. The next few days will be Hell as you detox, but then it'll get better. I promise.”_

 

Yeah right. He didn’t believe her promises anymore. All women were just lies under loving smiles, sharp teeth hidden till the perfect moment to bite. The door opened again and Saeyoung rushed in, grabbing the discarded knife from the floor. Zifeara didn’t move as they both held firm. He wasn’t backing away from her. He wouldn’t concede this ground. Saeyoung went to put himself between them, but she stopped him with a firm hand on his chest as soon as he got close enough. Much to his satisfaction, Zifeara broke eye contact first, taking a step out from under him and turning around, pushing his twin back towards the door as she went.

Now for the rest of the night, he could be alone with his self loathing and try to figure out how to put himself out of this misery she had inflicted upon him. He should have killed her when he had the chance. _You can’t. You need her._ Like he needed his dick ripped off and sewn onto his ass like a new tail, maybe. He was staring to wish he had never met Zifeara Nightshade.

 

***

 

After the massive outburst Zifeara and Sayoung had, he then had to tell the RFA everything; where Zifeara had been, his real name, how he was related to Saeran, all that he knew of V and Rika. It was hard and a lot of the RFA… didn’t take things well. Yoosung was obviously the most emotional, especially from finding out his cousin had been alive this entire time and was even alive just a little while ago, but he of course blamed that on V. They all at least recognized that he and Zifeara had nothing to do with the facade V had created. It was harder to convince them that Saeran was just as innocent in all of this as they were, but it would come with time. So far one of the only positives of the situation they were in was that they had Saeran at all. Zifeara had done everything in her power to make sure that she got the other Choi out of there with her and he could only be eternally grateful to her for it. Well, that wasn’t the _only_ positive…

Once the RFA scattered to process what had been told to them and return to their lives, the two of them decided to stay in the waiting area for a little bit. They could see Saeran’s room from here and the small couch they were seated on was big enough to lay down on comfortably. That being said, the second the meeting was over, Saeyoung practically melted into the couch, laying himself down for the first time in at least a week. When he had slept at the Underground, he had fallen asleep upright in his chair 9 times out of 10. He had his eyes closed for only a few seconds before they shot open again from the sudden weight on his chest. Zifeara just straight up flopped herself over onto him, groaning and wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

_“Fuck, I feel like I could sleep for the next million years…”_

 

He could feel his face beginning to heat up just from how close she was, but right now he couldn’t really bring himself to care. This was all he had wanted and more for the past month. He laid his arms over her shoulders, cuddling her to his chest with a chuckle.

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I probably only have about another minute of consciousness left before I’m out right here. Are you sure you don’t want to go home, though? Not- not that I mind you staying or anything…”

 

She had to be even more worn out that he was; Zifeara had been inside a functioning cult with no clue what the next day held for a solid month, dealt with his unstable and demanding brother, and to top it all off had pulled out all the stops and turned into a straight up warrior today. The least she could do was go home to her own bed and relax for a night.

 

She yawned before laying her head back down, shifting to make herself more comfortable. _“No way. You’re both here… wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else right now…”_

 

Saeyoung hummed, bringing a hand to run over her hair and letting himself fully relax. With Saeran being taken care of, the RFA saved from a threat they didn't even know they were under, and the girl of his dreams snuggled up to him like he'd only ever imagined before, he was actually pretty content with life for the moment. Zifeara wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He wouldn’t want her to be anywhere else right now either.

 

***

 

Zifeara was home, safe and sound and pretty much in one piece and Malaya couldn't be more grateful. Michael had kicked her out of the hospital pretty quickly, taking her home and gently ordering her to rest. He had wanted her to go home to the Underground and stay with him but Malaya wanted her own bed. That and she should probably attempt to clean up some of the nonsense that accumulated over the last month.

Malaya wandered around the house, tiredly straightening up. It wasn't too bad considering she hadn't been there much herself but it still took a good twenty minutes. At least now Zifeara would hopefully be more comfortable when she finally came home.

Malaya fed all of Zifeara's animals very carefully. So far she'd managed to keep all of them alive. At least she hoped so. The tarantula didn't look like it had moved for a bit and she couldn't bring herself to poke it in case it was just sleeping.

Once all the animals were taken care of, Malaya dragged herself up into her attic room. She kicked off her boots and pulled herself into her swaying hammock-like bed, not bothering to change out of the giant shirt Michael had loaned her so he could get rid of her bloodstained ones. She made sure her phone was on its loudest setting in case something happened then crashed out.

 

Nico’s voice echoed through the room.

 

_“Brio! Elias! Code black! We’ve been compromised!”_

 

The nightmare began like it always had, with her papa scooping her up into his arms and running. Her mama was running behind them but she couldn't see her dad anywhere even though his warning had been as clear as if he’d been standing beside them. There were gunshots and shouting and her parents were afraid.

 

They were never afraid.

 

Malaya knew the routine of the nightmare from there. Could recite it from memory even if the nightmare itself was a mixture of memory and information she'd been told later. She knew she was dreaming, details too sharp and time too fluid. It didn't hurt any less. Her parents’ employees and crew members rushed past them, holding back an enemy no one had been able to identify, and they had fallen just as quickly. Malaya watched them drop under the onslaught of roaring armored monsters.

People, Malaya reminded herself, they were still people no matter what her imagination made them look and sound like. The monsters caught up. Malaya remembered her mother dropping back, shouting for them to run, gifting each of them one last kiss. Elias couldn’t do it, he made it only so far before Brio screamed and he froze. Malaya cried, both screaming and watching her younger self scream for her mama and dad in the strange way dreams worked. A younger Michael appeared and her papa passed her off to him, making him promise to look after her. He turned back for his partners.

Michael had run and Malaya looked over his shoulder. Malaya tried to look away, not wanting to rewatch her papa’s last moments yet again. But it wasn’t Elias anymore.

 

Zifeara stared back at her. Shots rang out.

 

Malaya snapped awake, flailing wildly, falling out of her hammock with a solid thump. _No no no_. Zifeara was fine. She didn't get left behind. She certainly didn't get shot multiple times. She was fine. Malaya was calling her anyway.

 

“Pick up. Pick up,” she muttered.

 

Zifeara answered on the third ring, usually longer than it took when she was calling.

 

_“Hey Mal, what’s up?”_

 

She sounded just as tired as Malaya felt. Mal immediately felt guilty. What time was it? Her attic was dark.

 

“Uh...nothing. Was just seeing if you needed anything?” That sounded plausible right?

 

Zifeara was quiet for a moment.

 

_“You had the nightmare again, didn’t you?”_

 

“No!” Why the Hell did she call her? Zifeara had enough to worry about. It was just a bad memory that got a little twisted because of stress. She shouldn’t have called.

 

“No no…It's all good. Just seeing if you wanted anything from home.” Malaya was backpedaling so hard. Of course Zifeara was fine. It was Zifeara.

 

Her friend didn’t push it, just choosing to move on.

 

_“Not till morning anyway. Kai already brought me a change of clothes and a thicker jacket, so that’s fine. Everything is… stable over here. You missed all the fun, but I don’t blame you.”_

 

Malaya chuckled. “The RFA is still kinda not friendly with us. I'll keep my distance till they are okay. Say hi to Sparky for me.”

 

_“Well I mean, right now they aren’t kinda friendly toward anyone. I had no more been introduced to all of them before Jihyun came around the corner. Saeyoung lost his mind but Jumin caught him fast enough. They weren’t so lucky with me. I broke V’s nose, almost fractured his cheekbone too, and damn near gave Zen a concussion when he tried to stop me. Then Saeran woke up. Then we got to tell them all the secrets that happened. I’m glad you missed it. Sae’s downstairs eating right now, but I’ll let him know you finally got some sleep.”_

 

“It was a party. They should know to fear your right hook. Okay. I'll see you soon?”

 

_“Yeah, go back to sleep. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. It’ll take Saeran at least a few days to fully detox and I’m not leaving this building till he does.”_

 

“Goodnight. Sleep tight.”

 

_“Ha ha. Night Mal.”_

 

Malaya didn't hang up the phone immediately, listening to the buzz. She poked at it, tired but not ready to go back to sleep. She needed to do something. She got up, bundled herself in her favorite soft blanket and wandered over to her desk...area...thing. There really was no desk, just a particularly wide window seat without a window. She started digging through the baskets surrounding it, shuffling through her notes for future heists and exploration sites. Nothing piqued her interest. Not while her heist buddy was out of commission. She poked at her writing tablet, considering messing around with the fictional world she was building but decided against that as well. Elias had given her that tablet and she couldn’t shake the dream yet.

A little crumpled up yellow sticky note caught her eye. She really hated squishing paper and couldn’t remember what she’d been up to with it. She snatched it up and smoothed it out. All it said was _kidnap 007._

What. What in the world had she been talking about? Malaya stared at it. It was definitely her handwriting and she had underlined it a few times and taken obvious pains to bold the thing. There was a little scribbled doodle of a sad robot that looked like it was shooting fireworks from its head. She really _really_ needed a more consistent coding system. Then again, Malaya doubted any hacker-

OH! Duh. Malaya smacked herself. Seven. 707. _Sparky._

She wanted to get him away from his agency and working for the Underground. His agency was obviously no good for him and Malaya didn’t like it when her friends were mistreated. She just needed to know which agency he worked for so that she could make absolutely _certain_ they couldn’t hurt him anymore.

She reached for her phone, intending to call him but stopped, remembering the last month and what he was currently doing. He was tired, probably much more tired than her. Maybe she shouldn’t bother him? Even if it was potentially for his own good? She settled for texting him.

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Hey, whenever you aren’t busy, you should think about what I offered earlier. About working with us. No pressure. :)**

 

It didn’t take more than a minute to get a reply.

 

**From Saeyoung**

**You know, saying no pressure usually means pressure.**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**I’m kidding, my brain couldn’t work right now anyway. It would be really nice to not have to work while my brother is in the hospital and my best friend just had to get her knuckles wrapped from punching the guy who put him there. She’s still testy.**

 

**To Saeyoung**

**If you tell me which agency you work for, I’ll make sure they don’t bother you? Also ouch.**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**Really not a phone conversation? You up for coming by tomorrow? And yeah, I HEARD her hit him. And then she did it again. After flipping Zen. Lucky.**

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Yeah I can do that. Wasn’t sure you’d be up for visitors bothering you. Figured text would give you room to ignore me :)**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**That’s really nice of you, but I think you don’t qualify as a bother anymore. You helped me find my brother and Zifeara. You don’t count, girly. Stuck with me.**

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Give it a month and you’ll regret that haha. Get some rest. Don’t get between Zifeara and her prey. See you tomorrow.**

 

**From Saeyoung**

**That better not be my brother you’re talking about. See you.**

 

**To Saeyoung**

**Depends on your definition of prey. Night.**

 

Malaya shot Hellebore a quick text, asking the older woman if she would consider watching over Zifeara and Saeyoung for the night before finding a mostly empty notebook and starting to plot the downfalls of any agency that popped into her head. It was nearly three in the morning before she called it quits and crawled back into her bed. With half a notebook full of various coded plans and Hellebore keeping a protective eye on her friends, Malaya fell back to sleep and didn’t dream again. Now all she had to do was hope she could remember what code she used.


End file.
